


So it's you

by peggycarterislife



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, First Time, High School AU, Lucy Lane's a little shit and we all love her, Maggie's pretty angsty, Soulmate AU, but it's mostly just fluff and a lot of gay mess, flustered baby gays™, there's also smut in the last chapter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2018-03-01
Packaged: 2018-11-22 07:14:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 80,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11375229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peggycarterislife/pseuds/peggycarterislife
Summary: Alex and Maggie have been classmates for a little over two years but they never really talked. What will happen when Alex finds out Maggie is her soulmate?Basically a sanvers highschool & soulmate AU.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So here's the first chapter, I'll write more depending on how you guys like it :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some sister time:) oh and Alex finds out who her soulmate is so there's some gay panic...

She was sitting on her bed with bated breath, waiting for the clock to strike midnight. Eliza couldn’t be there with her because she got held up in the lab, for which she apologized but it still hurt Alex a little bit.

She knew her mother was a busy woman but this was one of the most important moments of Alex’s life. She was turning 17, she’d finally get to know the name of her soulmate. And as much as she was used to her mother sidelining her, she had hoped she’d be there with her, for her.

However her little sister was there. Patiently waiting with Alex while munching on some leftover pizza.

“How can you eat that stuff in the middle of the night?” asked Alex while nervously tapping out a rhythm on her crossed legs.

“M’hunfy” said Kara over a mouthful of pizza.

“What was that?”

“I said,” Kara swallowed the inhumanly large bite of pizza “I’m hungry.”

“Are you ever not hun-,“ Alex froze before finishing her sentence. The alarm she had set for midnight went off.

Kara stuffed the rest of the pizza into her mouth and reached over to her sister’s bedside table to turn it off.

She didn’t even have to look to know where to find the words that would let her know who the one person that was made for her is. She could feel a warm sensation on her left forearm, all she had to do was pull up the sleeve of her flannel and look. But she couldn’t bring herself to do so.

_What if it’s that douchebag Max _, she thought. After all people did say that they would be perfect together. Her mother looked so proud when she went with him to the dance…  
_No, don’t be ridiculous. The universe can’t be that cruel… I’m sure it’s gonna be some nice guy _…__ __

__

____

Alex kept staring blankly at the window in front of her, worrying on her bottom lip.

__

“Hey, Earth to Alex??” Kara waved her hand in front of her eyes.

__

“Yeah? I, I’m sorry,” Alex swallowed hard.

__

“Well?” Kara looked at her sister expectantly “Do you feel any different?”

__

“No? I mean, you know our connection’s always been pretty strong, I could always feel what he felt, both emotionally and physically speaking, and I don’t think that’s gonna change anyhow now..” Alex rambled, stalling the inevitable moment.

__

“Alex.” Kara grabbed her big sister by the shoulders, as gently as she could- not wanting to repeat that one time she hugged her too tightly and popped out her shoulder. “Breathe, please.”

__

Alex calmed herself a bit. Taking a few deep breaths, following her little sister’s lead.

__

“I,” Alex closed her eyes and took one more breath to steady herself “I can feel the mark on my left forearm.”

__

She opened her eyes to find Kara looking at her with nothing but pure love and respect for her big sister.

__

“Do you want me to leave you alone? Eliza’s told me that this is a big thing for you humans so I totally get it if you want me to lea-“

__

“Kara,” it was Alex’s turn to cut off her sister’s rambling, a faint smile playing on her lips. They might not be biological sisters but there was no denying that they were family.

__

“Yes?”

__

“Don’t leave me, please?”

__

“I’m not going anywhere,” Kara shuffled closer to her sister and wrapped an arm around her.  
They stayed like that for a couple of minutes, Alex wrapped in her little sister’s arms, listening to her heartbeat to calm herself down.

__

“Could you maybe do something for me? Alex asked after a while.

__

“Yeah, of course, what do you need?”

__

“Could you maybe look at it for me? I’m just, I know it’s silly but I’m kinda scared…” she lifted her head to look up at Kara.

__

“Yeah, yes, of course Alex,” Kara smiled at her sister.

__

Alex sat upright, crossing her legs and facing her little sister. “Okay so, uh, I’ll close my eyes and you tell me if it’s bad, okay?”

__

“Okay, although, it’s your soulmate Alex, so I bet it’s someone amazing,” the fourteen years old said with as much seriousness as she could.

__

Alex smiled gently at her little sister before taking a deep breath and closing her eyes. “Okay, I’m ready,” she said, more for herself than Kara.

__

She slowly extended her left arm to her sister and felt as she rolled up her sleeve carefully.

__

“That bad?” she asked when she heard Kara chuckle softly. “Is it someone I don’t know?”

__

“Nope,” Kara shook her head no even though her sister couldn’t really see her.

__

“Please tell me it’s not Rick, or some other idiot from the football team,” Alex said pleadingly, squeezing her eyes shut even tighter, afraid to look.

__

“Well, as far as I’m concerned, Maggie doesn’t play foot-“

__

“WHAT?” Alex opened her eyes quickly, pulling her arm away from Kara as if she got burned, and toppled off of the bed with the force of her action.

__

“Oh Rao, Alex, are you okay?” the alien was kneeling beside her sister not even a second after Alex had landed on her back.

__

“Yeah, no, I don’t know,” she was laying on the ground, not even bothering to move, staring at her forearm, with pure horror in her face, where _Margaret Sawyer _written in beautiful loopy handwriting contrasted against her pale skin.__

_____ _

_Well shit _, she thought. _How can it be? I’m not _… _no _… _There’s no way I’m _… _No, that’s bullshit _… _There are platonic soulmates right _? _I’m sure I’ve read something about them _… _Yeah, that has to be it because I’m not _… _gay _. _Right _? ______________________

_____ _

_____ _

_____ _

Maggie Sawyer was the new kid at the school. Well, technically not anymore since she came to Midvale High about two years ago, but Midvale was a small town and it wasn’t very often that someone moved there, nevertheless started the school in the middle of the school year.

_____ _

_____ _

_____ _

Alex didn’t know much about Maggie. She knew she was smart- they had chemistry together and Maggie was the only other person besides Alex who always knew the answer to all the questions Mrs. M’oorz asked. 

_____ _

_____ _

_____ _

She knew she used to get into a lot of fights, but preferred talking over using her fists, although she had no problem punching someone if they really asked for it.

_____ _

_____ _

_____ _

She knew she always stuck out for the ones that were bullied, and even though most of the school knew not to mess with the younger Danvers unless they wanted to face the wrath of her big sister, there were some idiots over the years who didn’t get the memo, and Maggie took care of a few of those when Alex was out sick.

_____ _

_____ _

_____ _

She knew she was best friends with that Olsen kid, who ran the school paper.

_____ _

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_____ _

She knew Kara liked her-but really, who didn't her literal-ray-of-sunshine little sister like?-, and that Maggie hung out with her during lunch breaks when Alex was too busy to eat lunch or was home cause she was sick.

_____ _

_____ _

_____ _

She knew she lived with her aunt, they moved to Midvale from Blue Springs about two years ago. No one really knew why she lived with her aunt, there were many rumors- her parents died, her mother got sick and they couldn’t take care of her so her aunt took her in, she got kicked out for being gay…

_____ _

_____ _

_____ _

That was another thing Alex knew about Maggie, she was gay. But that didn’t mean she was gay as well, right?

_____ _

_____ _

_____ _

“Alex?” Kara pulled her out of her musings.

_____ _

_____ _

_____ _

“Kara, I,” Alex looked at her with tears in her eyes, sitting upright, “what am I going to do?.”

_____ _

_____ _

_____ _

“Hey, come here,you’re okay,” Kara scooted closer and hugged her crying sister, “it’s all gonna be okay. There’s nothing wrong with being gay Alex.”

_____ _

_____ _

_____ _

At that Alex pulled away from her and stood up. “But I’m not,” she gestured vaguely, “Just cause Maggie is, and just cause she’s my soulmate, that does not make me… gay, right?”

_____ _

_____ _

_____ _

Saying the word gay out loud made Alex’s head spin. It’s not like she’s never used that word, but it felt different… in relation to herself.

_____ _

_____ _

_____ _

Kara just sat there, leaning against Alex’s twin bed, hugging her knees, patiently listening to her big sister.

_____ _

_____ _

_____ _

“I mean, I did go to the dance with, with Max,” Alex started pacing around, “And I even kissed him. I’m not saying it was pleasant or anything but I did… And Vicky’s told me that it takes some time till boys really get what to do so I shouldn’t be worried about that… I even went out with Rick! We went for that nice walk along the beach, and we held hands, and then we watched the sunset together, and then he tried to kiss me, and I quickly ran away with some dumb excuse because I absolutely hated every second of it, and oh my God Kara I think I’m gay.”

_____ _

_____ _

_____ _

Alex stopped the pacing after the words left her mouth. She paled visibly, her own words ringing in her ears.

_____ _

_____ _

_____ _

_I’m gay. Kara I think I’m gay. Fuuuck. ___

_____ _

_______ _ _ _

_____ _

She turned around slowly to look at her little sister who was looking at her with nothing but pure love and acceptance for her big sister in her eyes. “I think I’m gonna be sick.” She forced herself to take a few deep breaths to steady herself.

_____ _

_______ _ _ _

_____ _

“Alex, come on,” she patted the space next to her, “come sit with me.”

_____ _

_______ _ _ _

_____ _

Alex stood there, frozen to the spot for a few seconds as if contemplating her options, then she nodded her head, more for herself than for Kara and went to sit next to her sister. Kara wrapped an arm around her as soon as she sat down. Alex leaned against her.

_____ _

_______ _ _ _

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“It’s gonna be okay, Alex, I promise,” she said, squeezing her a bit tighter for emphasis.

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_______ _ _ _

_____ _

“You don’t, you, you’re okay with it?” she asked shyly, quietly looking up at her.

_____ _

_______ _ _ _

_____ _

“Of course I’m okay with it,” Kara beamed at her big sister, “I never really got why you people make such fuss around same sex relationships anyways.” Kara rolled her eyes.

_____ _

_______ _ _ _

_____ _

“Yeah,” Alex smiled faintly, “Thanks Kar.”

_____ _

_______ _ _ _

_____ _

“Besides Maggie’s so great. I can’t wait for you to finally get to know her, you’re gonna love her! You two have so much in common, it’s crazy. It makes so much sense now though, you were made for one another. Well, Maggie doesn’t have her soul mark yet cause her birthday is in a month but I’m pretty sure you’re gonna be her soulmate too, ya know.”

_____ _

_______ _ _ _

_____ _

Alex laughed at her sister’s antics and shook her head. She settled against her, trying to process the absolute shitshow that’s just happened in the past couple of minutes.

_____ _

_______ _ _ _

_____ _

“Hey,” Kara nudged her gently after a while.

_____ _

_______ _ _ _

_____ _

“Hmm?” Alex looked at her.

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_______ _ _ _

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“I’m proud of you, Alex.” She smiled at her big sister. Alex just nodded with tears in her eyes and a smile on her lips, hugging her a bit tighter.

_____ _

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“Do you think you could maybe sleep in my room tonight?” she asked after a while.

_____ _

_______ _ _ _

_____ _

“Yeah, sure,” Kara smiled, “Let me just brush my teeth real quick, you know what Eliza says, midnight snacks are okay as long as I brush my teeth.”

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_______ _ _ _

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“Yeah,” Alex laughed and shook her head.

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_____ _

While Kara brushed her teeth Alex changed into her pajamas, a pair of boyshorts and an old Midvale high tshirt. While she was waiting for Kara to get back she lay in the bed, looking at the name on her forearm, tracing it with her fingertips, wondering about all the rumors about Maggie.

_____ _

_______ _ _ _

_____ _

About all the pain, both physical and mental she’d felt throughout the years. All the anger, and hate, and desperation. And she wondered she’ll ever get to know the truth. But she knew for sure that Maggie Sawyer walked through the hell itself, and that made her furious.

_____ _

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She felt a gust of wind ruffle the covers and then her little sister was lying next to her.

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“Hey,” she beamed.

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_____ _

“You know what mom says about flying in the house Kara,” Alex scolded her with a playful smirk on her lips.

_____ _

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“Well Eliza’s not here now, is she,” Kara shrugged. Alex tried glaring at her but she couldn’t help herself but smile at the little alien.

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“Night kid,” she said.

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“G’night,” said Kara and snuggled against her.

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Alex was nearly asleep when she quickly sat upright. “Fuck,” she cursed out loud, not caring her little sister was right there.

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“Hey! Language!” Kara frowned.

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“How do I tell mom?”

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are great!:D 
> 
> Let me know what you think in the comments, if you have any suggestions or ideas please leave them in the comments as well:)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some more gay panic and some much needed Lucy Lane time
> 
> just a little heads up cause there's quite a lot of swearing in this chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay sooo here's another chapter, sorry it took me so long i posted the first one when i was leaving for a vacation and i just got back home yesterday so yeah..

“Good morning, sweetie,” Alex heard her mom greet Kara downstairs.

 

_Fuuuck._

_Okay, it’s gonna be okay,_ Alex tried to calm herself down, _Eliza’s usually in a rush in the morning so it’s not like she’ll want to talk now, righ?_

She was standing in front the mirror which hung on the door to her closet.

 

_Huh, how ironic._

 

Staring at her reflection in the mirror she was trying to decide what to wear. She’d already changed like six times- and no, of course it had nothing to do with the fact that she had chemistry with Maggie that day, thank you very much- but she couldn’t decide what to wear.

 

Checking the time, she decided she didn’t have time for any more changing so she decided to go with the black jeans and plain white tshirt she had on. Pulling on a red flannel to cover her soulmate mark, and grabbing her backpack she took one last deep breath to steel herself before heading downstairs.

 

“Morning,” she said quickly as she rushed to the table, where Kara was pouring syrup on an obscenely large pile of pancakes.

 

“Hey, Alex,” Kara beamed at her sister.

 

“How,” Alex gestured at the pile of Kara’s pancakes, taking the syrup Kara handed her once she decided she had enough, to pour some at her own portion, “You know what? Never mind.”

 

Wait. Eliza made them pancakes. Eliza made them Alex’s favorite breakfast. _Oh, oh no._

It’s not like Alex was expecting her mom to forget the birthday. But she didn’t expect her to make them breakfast either, hoping her mom would be wanting to get back to work as soon as possible.

 

Seeing that she’d made pancakes for them, Alex was guessing her mother was not in such a rush today.

 

“Good morning, Alex,” Eliza smiled warmly as she walked into the dining room, clutching a cup of coffee. Alex nearly choked on the piece of pancake she just put into her mouth when her mother walked in.

 

“Mom,” Alex nodded her head in greeting, coughing loudly, trying to force the piece that got stuck in her throat down.

 

“Are you okay?” placing her mug on the table she walked around to where Alex was sitting. She poured her a glass of water from the jar that she had placed on the table, and handed it to Alex.

 

“Thanks,” Alex said almost inaudibly after the coughing had subsided.

 

Eliza caressed her daughter’s hair, smiling down at her warmly. “Happy birthday, sweetheart.”

 

Alex didn’t know what to say or do so she just nodded curtly and stuffed her face with as much of the pancake as she could.

 

“Alex, is everything alright?” Eliza asked, concern etched into her voice 

 

Alex swallowed the unbelievably large bite, nodding her head. “Pfft. Uhm, yep, of course. Why wouldn’t everything be okay?”

 

Not trusting herself with what might come out of her mouth if she kept talking, she took the glass of water Eliza had poured for her, and took a sip.

 

Eliza squinted her eyes at her, clearly seeing through Alex’s poor lying skills, but decided to let it be for now. “So, it was your big night,” Eliza started and Alex visibly paled, _well fuck_ , “and you know how sorry I am that I had to work, but now I’m here, and now I want to hear everything. Don’t leave out a single det-“

 

“You know what mom? I just remembered that Mrs. M’orzz asked me to come earlier today, to help her set up the lab, so I gotta run, okay? I’m sorry,” she said, standing up from the table quickly.

 

“Oh, okay… Do you want me to give you a ride? We can talk on the way to school then.”

 

“No,” Alex refused abruptly. “I mean, no thanks mom, Lucy offered to give me a ride today, so I better get going if I wanna get to her place on time,” she grabbed her backpack from where she had thrown it.

 

“Well, if you’re sure, okay then,” Eliza nodded, smiling sadly. “I’ll try to get back from work as early as possible today, okay sweetie?”

 

“Yeah, okay, cool,” Alex quickly hugged her mom goodbye, ruffling Kara’s hair on the way out, “See ya later, kid.”

 

“Bye Alex,” Kara smiled at her sister.

 

“And yes, you can have my portion as well!” she yelled before shutting the door behind her, she heard Kara yell back a thank you with her mouth stuffed full again, and ran out of the house as fast as she could.

 

 _Well, that went well,_ she thought walking down the sidewalk to Lucy’s house.

 

Lucy Lane’s been her best friend since kindergarten. Even though they didn’t get along at first, as they both were very dominant, and refused to back down and share their crayons or whatever the fuck their moms always tell them they used to argue about, after a while they became pretty much inseparable.

 

Lucy was the kind of friend that didn’t fuck around, she was always straight forward and didn’t take anyone’s shit, and that was why Alex loved her so much.

 

That’s why Alex was headed to her house, without even letting her know she was coming, at seven in the morning. She was pretty aware of the fact that Lucy would kill her for waking her up- since her best friend somehow managed to take like no time at all to get ready and look amazing as hell, and she loved to sleep in.

 

But Alex was in desperate need of some good old Lucy Lane talk.

 

Not even bothering to knock Alex let herself in, greeting Lucy’s mom who didn’t look the least bit shocked by Alex’s presence, and told her that her daughter was- unexpectedly- still asleep.

 

Alex quickly ran upstairs, knocking softly on her friend’s door. Waking Lucy up before her alarm went off was a rather suicidal thing to do.

 

Knocking once more Alex let herself into Lucy’s room. Throwing her backpack by the door and shutting it swiftly, she jumped on the bed next to the pile of covers that she assumed would be her friend.

 

“Luce,” Alex poked at the heap of blankets. “Lucy, wake up,” she whispered, not daring to raise her voice any higher. “Are you even alive under all of that?”

 

“Uhm,” she heard from under the pile.

 

“Okay, good, cause I kinda sorta need you.”

 

“This better be fucking good Danvers or I swear to God, no one will find your body,” she huffed as she lifted the covers, squinting as the morning light hit her eyes.

 

“You know very well that you’d need me to help you hide a body so,” Alex shrugged, smiling innocently as Lucy glared at her. “How do you sleep under so many covers when it’s basically like a million degrees outside?”

 

“Says the one wearing the flannel, very gay of you by the way,” Lucy said with a smirk as she sat up in bed, brushing her hair out of her face.

 

“Yeah, well, about that, uh,” Alex took a deep breath.

 

“No shit, you finally came out to yourself? Thank the lesbian Jesus,” Lucy laughed as she got up off the bed and walked over to her bathroom, not bothering to close the door behind her.

 

“WAIT WHAT?” Alex shot up off the bed and followed her friend. “You knew?”

 

“Well of course I knew Alex, I’m not blind.”

 

“Bu-, but how?” she stammered.

 

“Well first of all you never, not once, liked a boy. You fucking bolted when that Ricky guy tried to kiss you, I still don’t get why you went out with him by the way.”

 

“Because, because he’s a nice guy?” Alex said half-heartedly “And I kissed Max…”

 

“Okay nope,” Lucy faked a gagging noise, “don’t even remind me of that. And we both know that Malverne is anything but a nice guy. He’s popular because he’s on the team plus he’s deemed attractive by some really fucked up social norms.”

 

Lucy put some toothpaste on her toothbrush while Alex just stood there, leaning against the doorframe, looking at her friend.

 

“Plus you didn’t even like kissing that fuckup Lord,” Lucy stated.

 

“But Vicky said-“

 

“Oh fuck off Alex,” Lucy spat out the toothpaste she had in her mouth, “since when do we listen to what Vicky has to say?” She continued brushing her teeth, glaring at her best friend.

 

“I, uh, we don’t? I thought we were friends? I thought we liked her?”

 

“Oh honey,” Lucy rinsed her mouth and looked pointedly at Alex.

 

“What?” Alex frowned.

 

“I never liked that girl. You could say that I even hate her for playing with your baby gay ass as if you were a fucking yoyo.”

 

“What? No, she’d never.”

 

“Alex, babe, listen to me,” Lucy walked over to her and grabbed her by the shoulders, “Your crush on her last year was so obvious, you’d do anything for her, you’d jump off a fucking bridge if she asked you to do it.”

 

“Pfft, no, that’s bullshit Luce,” she tried to laugh it off.

 

“Oh for fuck’s sake, Alex, sometimes I can’t even with how dense you can be even though your IQ is as high as Leslie during finals,” Lucy shook her head in disbelief. “You were like her personal fucking assistant, following her around with those fucking heart eyes.”

 

“You’ve sad fuck like a hundred times since you woke up,” Alex pointed out.

 

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Lucy let go of her shoulders and walked over to the mirror to put some make up on.

 

Leaning back against the doorframe again, Alex thought back to last year. She spent a lot of time with Vicky last year.

 

She helped her with her homework or even tutored her for free when she needed help to pass an exam.

There were a few times when she did her homework for her, but that was purely to help a friend out because Vicky was terribly busy doing something very important as she told her.

 

They hung out even when they weren’t studying. Going to the movies; to the beach; or shopping, Vicky liked that Alex always had the patience to wait for her while she tried on a hundred different outfits, and if she were to be honest, Alex liked watching Vicky try on those hundred outfits, always telling her what she thought- always something along the lines of “Wow, you look great, Vick”. (which totally wasn’t gay at all)

 

But Alex’s absolute favorite were their sleepovers. Snuggling in bed with Vicky, holding her while she was sleeping, or being held by her just felt so nice. The sleepovers at Vicky’s place were even better since the whole bed smelled like Vicky and-

 

“Oh fuck.”

 

“Finally, there we go,” Lucy laughed as she put some finishing touches to her makeup, putting everything back on the shelf.

 

“Oh fuuuuck,” Alex repeated.

 

“Yep, took you long enough hon,” Lucy made her way back into her bedroom, walking over to her closet.

 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Alex stalked behind her friend.

 

“Wasn’t my place to say anything Alex,” Lucy looked at her sincerely, “I figured you’d tell me when you’re ready, or when the universe kicks you to it.”

 

“I, uh, thank you,” there were suddenly tears in her eyes, seemingly out of nowhere.

 

Lucy threw the clothes she had picked out on her bed, and was hugging her in a heartbeat.

 

“Hey, you have nothing to thank me for, I didn’t do shit Alex,” she rubbed soothing circles into her back as tears rolled down her face silently.

 

“Yeah you did. You’re you. And I just, thank you, for being you, for being a fucking amazing friend,” Alex sniffled, pulling back to look at her friend.

 

“You know I can’t help it but be amazing,” Lucy grinned cockily.

 

“I’d punch you for ruining the moment we were just having but we were just having a moment so I’m not gonna punch you,” she tried to frown at her but failed to keep the smile off of her face.

 

“Okay so who is it?”

 

“Who is what?” Alex asked genuinely confused.

 

“Oh my fuck Alex-“

 

“You really do say fuck a lot.”  


“Cause you are really fucking slow sometimes for a genius such as yourself,” Lucy retorted. “Who’s your soulmate? Do we know her? I wanna see the mark, and I don’t care if it’s somewhere private it’s not like I haven’t seen you naked. Did you know that you can tell a lot about the person from their handwriting?”

 

“Okay slow down,” Alex put her hands up, “Yes, we do know her. Yes, I’ll show you the mark. No, it’s not somewhere private, it’s on my forearm, hence the flannel. We do not have time to study her handwriting right now, and lastly you saw me naked when we were like five, Luce.”

 

“So?” Lucy shrugged, grabbing Alex’s left arm and pulling up her sleeve. “No fucking way. Get the fuck out.” She stood there, gaping at Maggie’s name written on her skin.

 

“Was that good ‘get the fuck out’ or bad ‘get the fuck out’? Cause I can’t really tell unless you use your facial muscles.”

 

“Way to go Alex,” Lucy finally looked up at her, a broad smile on her face. “She’s hot, and like your level of crazy smart and from what I’ve heard from your kid sister she’s pretty fucking amazing overall. Plus those dimples Alex, those dimples.”

 

“Yep those dimples are pretty adorable,” Alex smiled fondly.

 

“Tell you what, I’m gonna get dressed now, then we’re gonna go downstairs to eat some breakfast, we’re both gonna eat breakfast cause I know you didn’t eat shit to avoid talking to Eliza,” Lucy paused to check in with Alex if she was right about what she was saying, “ans then when I have eaten something, and drank enough coffee to make up for those thirty minutes of sleep you robbed me of, we’re gonna come up with a plan to get you your girl.”

 

“But-“

 

“No buts Alex, unless you wanna talk about Maggie’s butt, which is another great attribute of hers, by the way.”

 

“Ugh, okay,” Alex relented.

 

“Could you turn my alarm off? It’s gonna start ringing any minute now, and you know how allergic I am to that sound.”

 

“Yeah sure,” Alex walked over to Lucy’s nightstand to switch the alarm on her phone off.

 

“Oh my God,” Alex gasped as she turned around and saw that Lucy had started changing, and was standing there in nothing but her pajama bottoms. She quickly turned back around and stared at Lucy’s nightstand as if it were the most interesting thing ever.

 

“See this is another one of the reasons why I don’t get how you haven’t realized you’re as queer as a three dollar bill,” Lucy laughed.

 

“I’m being polite,” Alex objected.

“No, Alex, you should’ve seen your face, you look like a teen boy who got a boner cause he saw boobs for the first time.”

 

“Whatever,” Alex grumbled.

 

“Okay I’m decent now,” Lucy said after a while.

 

“I hate you,” Alex turned back around to see that her friend was finally fully dressed again.

 

“No, that’s bullshit, you love me.”

 

“Fuck off.”

 

“Okay let’s get some food into you, you’re swearing almost as much as me, that’s never a good sign.”

 

~ ~ ~

 

“Okay, so,” Lucy started as they were sitting in the car, “You have chemistry with her right?”

 

“Yep,” Alex nodded, popping the p.

 

“Okay, so it shouldn’t be that hard for you to start a conversation with her right?”

 

“Uh, I mean, do I have to?”

 

“Holy fuck Alexandra,” Lucy groaned.

 

“Don’t go full on Eliza on me you know I hate it,” Alex scowled.

 

“Then stop it.”

 

“Stop what?”

 

“Alex, do you realize how lucky you are?” Lucy sighed. “You know who your soulmate is. All you have to do is talk to her. That’s literally it. Do you have any idea what some people would give for having it this easy when it comes to finding their soulmate?”

 

“Yeah I know, but you know how awkward I am…” Alex trailed off.

 

“Oh I know very well how awkward you are, you nerd,” Lucy laughed, “But listen to me Alex, she’s your soulmate. She was pretty much destined to put up with your awkward nerdiness. Plus you’re kinda adorable when you blush, and stammer, and just nerd out.”

 

“You did not just call me adorable,” Alex glared at her best friend.

 

“Seriously? Is that really all that you got from what I just said?” Lucy snorted, “Alex you’re one of the very few people who get this lucky, and I swear to everything that’s holy I’ll murder you if you don’t try anything, and I don’t care if they’ll find your body.”

 

“But, what if, what if I’m not her soulmate?” Alex asked quietly.

 

“Hey, Alex,” Lucy said soothingly, taking one hand off of the steering wheel to squeeze Alex’s hand tightly, “Don’t worry about that. You know how rare those things are, right? Plus what are the odds of the universe basically bringing your girl right to you, just for you to find that you’re not her soulmate? That’d be way too cruel even for this fucked up world.”

 

“Oh come on Luce, it’s not that unusual, you know it.”

 

“Alex, chances pretty high that you are her soulmate as well, and if you’re not we’re gonna hunt that person down and kill them so she’s gonna be with you,” Lucy grinned at her friend, finally pulling to a stop at the parking lot in front of the school, “Does that sound okay?”

 

“I guess,” Alex shrugged.

 

“Okay, now you’re gonna promise me that you’re gonna try to talk to her today. Otherwise I’m not letting you out of this car, and I don’t care I’ll fuck up your perfect attendance.”

 

“Fine, I promise,” Alex grumbled.

 

“Atta girl,” Lucy grinned and patted Alex’s knee before hopping out of the car.

 

“Ugh, I hate you so much,” Alex muttered as she got out of the car.

 

“No, we both know that you love me,” Lucy sang.

 

Alex just huffed and rolled her eyes at her friend’s antics. They walked to the chemistry classroom together, since Lucy had it on her way.

 

“Oh, by the way, I’m not gonna be able to give you a ride back home, cause I’m supposed to run to pick up Lois at the airport right after school, unless you wanna tag along?”

 

“Nah, that’s fine, I’ll take the bus,” Alex smiled as they stopped in front of the classroom.

 

“Okay. Now, I have history so I gotta run, and you have chemistry so you better stick to the promise you made,” Lucy winked as she gave Alex a salute and walked down the hall, not

giving Alex any space to object.

 

 _Well, this should be fun,_ Alex thought as she took a deep breath and walked into the classroom.

 

As she walked in, her eyes immediately landed on Maggie’s seat, the one right behind her own. She hadn’t come yet. Alex didn’t know if she was relieved or not. One thing she knew for sure though, and that was the fact that her heart was beating so fast it felt like she was about to get a heart attack.

 

She took a seat and willed herself to take deep breaths to steady her heartbeat. It wasn’t a big deal right? She was just gonna talk to a girl. A very pretty girl. Gorgeous even. With those amazing dimples and beautiful deep brown eyes. Who also happens to be her soulmate. Yep, should be a cakewalk.

While waiting for Maggie to come, Alex busied herself with reading her notes, and highlighting some parts, but as hard as she tried she couldn’t concentrate on what she was reading.

 

Suddenly she heard the bell ring, and Mrs M’orzz was walking into the class, but Maggie was still not there.

 

Alex didn’t know if she was be happy that she wouldn’t have to embarrass herself in front of her soulmate today or  if she was disappointed.

 

She couldn’t dwell on that now though because Mrs M’orzz was already starting to explain ideal gasses and she had to pay attention.

 

~ ~ ~

 

Maggie didn’t show up at school at all, Alex didn’t even spot her at lunch break, which was pretty weird since she seemed okay the day before.

 

Alex didn’t let her mind drift to her though, as much as she wanted to, she just couldn’t.

 

Physics with principal J’onnz was her last period that day. He was her favorite teacher, and she often stayed after the class was over, just to talk to him, and she was hoping she could stall going home-cause going home would mean talking to Eliza and Alex was anything but ready to disappoint her mother- a bit today by talking to him for a little while, but he had to leave to deal with some kids that got into a fight, and couldn’t talk to her.

 

Thinking how else she could stall the inevitable, she decided to take a walk home. The school wasn’t far from where she lived, Midvale was not a big town after all.

 

So that’s how she found herself walking down the street, getting soaked by the rain that came seemingly out of nowhere, getting splashed on by the cars that passed by.

 

 _That’s what you get for being such a fucking coward, Danvers._ She thought.

 

Talking to her mother wasn’t a hard thing to do. Well, if you were anyone but Alex then it wasn’t a hard thing to do.

 

She knew her mother loved her, but she just had a weird way of showing it. She wanted Alex to be perfect, to be normal. And Alex tried, god she tried.

 

But now, with this gay thing…

 

Alex knew there was nothing wrong with being gay, it was just that it was not exactly the social norm. And Alex couldn’t take disappointing her mother.

 

Even if it wasn’t her choice. It’s not like she tattooed Maggie’s name on her forearm after all.

 

Suddenly she heard the sound of a car slowing down next to her so she sped up a bit out of instinct. She heard as the car stopped and then she heard the faint noise of a window being rolled down. She turned around and-

“Hey! Hey, Danvers! Do you need a ride?”

 

_Well fuck._

“Hey Maggie.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos write the fanfic:D
> 
> lemme know if it's worth writing a next chapter or if i should just give up:D


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> eyy maggie's finally here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I need a beta because I don't really have the energy to go over the stuff I write... plus if I did I'd probably never post anything so if you're interested hmu either in the comments or on tumblr peggycarterislife

“Come on, hop in!” Maggie shouted through the rain.

 

“Nah, thanks, I, I’m good, I like walks, walks are fine…” Alex stammered.

 

“Don’t be ridiculous, Danvers,” Maggie tilted her head and frowned.

 

Alex weighed her options. Her house was good twenty minute walk away, and even though she was already drenched, she was getting cold, and the rain didn’t look like it was going to pass any time soon.

 

If she took the ride she’d be home sooner, which was exactly what she didn’t want. But on the plus side, it’d be an amazing opportunity to talk to Maggie…

 

“I’ll get your seat wet...”

 

“You wouldn’t be the first one,” Maggie retorted before realizing what she said.

 

Alex nearly choked on air. The idea of Maggie having someone, other than her, on that seat, wet, in any meaning of the word, really… Did definitely not make her feel jealous.

 

She silently walked around to the passenger’s seat just to find out that Maggie had opened the door for her from the inside, grinning at her apologetically.

 

“I, I mean, uh, I didn’t mean it like that, I meant it like, there’s been people, people that were wet, wet people, on this seat, I mean, you know like, wet wet, not like, uh, _wet wet,_ ” Maggie spluttered out an explanation, visibly cringing at the words that left her mouth.

 

“Hey, uh, it’s none of my business, you don’t have to explain it to me,” Alex said, even though her stomach was twisting with jealousy, “It’s your car after all.”

 

It made no sense, she didn’t know her. Fine, they were soulmates but that was it. She had no reason to be jealous. Maggie wasn’t hers, even though she was basically Maggie’s.

 

“It’s my aunt’s actually,” Maggie corrected her, “So it’s actually possible that I just lied to you, and there’s been _wet wet_ people on that seat.”

 

Alex huffed out a laugh as Maggie grinned at her apologetically. “I think I can live with that.”

 

“Good,” Maggie smiled, and Alex felt her stomach flutter as her dimples showed, wanting nothing more than to lean over and kiss them-

 _Get a grip Alex,_ she reprimanded herself internally.

 

“Hey, here, take my jacket,” Maggie offered, reaching to the backseat, and handing Alex a black leather jacket, “you must be cold.”

 

“Oh, no, thanks, I’m good.”

 

“Danvers,” Maggie tilted her head and cocked an eyebrow, pushing the jacket into Alex’s arms insistently, “your flannel is soaked and it’s pretty windy out there, so I bet you’re really cold, now take this jacket and put it on.”

 

“Fine,” Alex huffed, taking the jacket from Maggie, accidentally brushing their fingers together, faking a cough in hopes Maggie doesn’t notice the way her breath hitched at the contact.

 

She pulled it on, willing herself not to smell it, while Maggie started the car. She felt her phone buzz in her pocket, and she pulled it out to find it was a text from Lucy.

 

_OH MY GOD I TOTALLY FORGOT! I’M SO SORRY!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DICKHEAD <3 love ya, xox _

 

Alex huffed out a laugh,” Classy.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“Oh, nothing, just a text from Lucy,” Alex shrugged, putting her phone away,” she forgot to wish me happy birthday.”

 

“Oh, happy birthday, Danvers,” Maggie flashed her one of her dimpled smiles, and Alex was glad she was sitting because she was pretty sure her knees would not cooperate.

 

“Thanks,” Alex smiled shyly.

 

“So,” Maggie started,” trouble in paradise? How long have you guys been together anyways?”

 

“Who?”

 

“You and Lucy.”

 

“Oh, oh no, we’re not a couple,” Alex laughed,” She’s just my best friend. We’ve known each other pretty much since diapers. And she forgot my birthday, but it’s totally excusable, because she got distracted gushing about my soulmate the whole morning, so yeah…”

 

“Oh, I thought you guys were a thing, I’m sorry.”

 

“What for?”

 

“Assuming that you’re, uh, never mind,” Maggie waved it off,” So, you believe in soulmates?”

 

“Don’t you?” Alex asked, her stomach sinking.

 

“I mean, the ridiculous notion that there’s someone out there, that was made for me, I don’t know,” she shrugged,” I don’t think there’s anyone waiting for me.”

 

Alex could Maggie’s features darken. Could see how she gulped roughly, and gripped the steering wheel so tight her knuckles were white.  She could tell that she stepped on a sensitive spot. The self-deprecation in Maggie’s voice made her blood boil, and she dug her fingernails into her palms. If whoever was responsible for hurting Maggie so much ever got into her way, she wouldn’t even need Lucy’s help to dispose the body.

 

“Well, it’s not like I don’t believe I don’t have a soulmate, I’ve always felt them, you know, I just…” she trailed off,” I’m sorry, I don’t know why I’m telling you this.”

 

“Hey, no, you’re okay, you can talk to me if you want to,” Alex offered.

 

“It’s nothing against you, Danvers, I just, don’t really like talking about myself, that’s all, plus I don’t think we’ve actually talked before this,” Maggie huffed out a laugh.

 

“Yeah, we should totally change that,” Alex heard herself saying before her brain even fully processed what Maggie said,” I mean, uh, if you, if you want to…”

 

 _Smooth, Danvers. Real smooth._ If she could she would bang her head against the door of Maggie’s truck.

 

“Yeah, I think I’d like that,” Maggie smirked and Alex’s heart fluttered. Boy, was she happy to be sitting.

 

“Okay,” nodded, smiling so broadly her cheeks hurt. Lucy was going to be so damn proud of her.

 

“Here you go,” Maggie said, pulling up by Alex’s house.

 

“Thanks,” Alex smiled softly, moving to pull off Maggie’s jacket just to be stopped by Maggie’s hand on hers, her stomach fluttering again.

 

Maggie took in a sharp breath as she touched her, clearing her throat before she spoke again, “Keep it. It’s gonna make you talk to me again,” she winked, and Alex honest to god swooned, sending a quick thanks to whoever invented seats.

 

“You sure?”

 

“Yep,” Maggie nodded,” maybe, just, uh, you could just, give me your number in exchange?”

 

Alex nodded not believing herself to get anything intelligible out of her mouth in that moment.

 

“Cool,” Maggie grinned, and handed Alex her phone. She quickly put in her number, handing it back to Maggie who smiled at the screen with a- _wait is that a blush on her cheeks? Holy shit._

“Okay, I’m gonna,” Alex gestured towards the car door, laughing awkwardly.

 

“Hey Alex,” Maggie breathed as Alex moved to get out the car.

 

“Yeah?” she turned around, probably too quickly.

 

“They’re really lucky.”

 

“Huh?” she frowned, confused.

 

“Your soulmate, well at least from what Kara’s told me about you, they’re pretty lucky,” Maggie smiled softly.

 

“I, uh, Kara talks about me?” Alex asked, deciding to ignore the other thing that Maggie said because letting herself really process that would probably give her an aneurysm.

 

“Uh, yeah,” Maggie chuckled,” you’re basically the only thing she ever talks about.”

 

“Oh my god,” Alex laughed, rubbing her forehead.

 

“Hey, only good things, I swear. Plus it’s adorable,” she smiled , her dimples on full display again.

 

“I would hope so.”

 

“Cross my heart,” Maggie laughed.

 

“Bye Maggie,” Alex said reluctantly.

 

“Bye Danvers.”

 

Alex hopped out of the car, quickly running to the door so the rain wouldn’t drench her even more. As she fished her keys out of her backpack she looked back to see Maggie starting the car again, and waving her before she drove off.

 

She waved back before letting herself in, thinking how screwed she was. Fucking universe, how was she supposed to resist that smile, those dimples, those eyes-

 

“Hi sweetie!” she heard her mom yell from the kitchen.

 

_Oh fuck me._

“Oh, hey, uh, mom!”

 

She kicked her soaked converse by the door, taking a few deep breaths before heading to the kitchen. She couldn’t keep stalling this forever, so she better get over with it. She could take that look Eliza gave her whenever she was disappointed in her. If it meant maybe being with Maggie someday, seeing that smile daily, well it was worth it.

 

“How was your day honey?” Eliza asked from the stove as she heard Alex walk into the kitchen, and drop her backpack off.

 

“Uh, it was, good, I guess,” Alex walked over to the sink to pour herself a glass of water

 

“You were not wearing a jacket when you left this morning, right?” Eliza asked as she turned around.

 

“I, uh, no, I decided to take a walk home from school, to, uh, clear my head a bit, but then the rain caught me, but a friend picked me up on the way, and they gave me their jacket cause I was cold,” Alex replied, taking a sip of her water. Hoping Eliza wouldn’t notice how she purposefully used gender neutral pronouns. Even though the jacket was pretty small to belong to a boy.

 

“Alex what’s wrong?” Eliza asked stepping closer to her daughter.

 

“Huh? What, what do you mean mom?” Alex stammered.

 

“You did not eat your breakfast, even though I made your favorite, you dashed out of here so fast… And now you didn’t even change before coming in here even though you’re soaked, and apparently cold.”

 

“Mom, I…” Alex took a deep breath, not knowing what to say.

 

“You know you can tell me anything, I’ll love you no matter what,” Eliza looked at her daughter gently.

 

“Yeah?” Alex checked in, voice small.

 

“Of course,” Eliza nodded, a soft smile playing at her lips.

 

“Okay,” Alex nodded, placing down the glass of water she was holding. She took off Maggie’s jacket, throwing it on the chair, and after taking a few deep breaths, she rolled up the soaked sleeve of her flannel, holding her arm out for Eliza to see.

 

She waited with bated breath, closed eyes. For the dismissive tone of her mother she knew so well. But it never came. When she opened her eyes she saw Eliza looking at her forearm, with the same soft smile she had on her lips before Alex closed her eyes.

 

“Oh sweetheart,” Eliza breathed, and suddenly she was hugging her daughter tightly.

 

“You’re not, you’re not disappointed?” Alex choked out, tears rolling down her cheeks.

 

“Disappointed? Alex, sweetie, why would I ever be disappointed in you?”

 

“Because, I’m, I’m… My soulmate’s a girl?” she offered, not being able to say _that_ word out loud.

 

“Alex, no,” Eliza pulled back to look at her daughter,” I could _never_ be disappointed in you. I know I’m not the best mother, and I know I don’t show it the right way, but I _love_ you, Alexandra, Alex. So no, I’m not disappointed in you. I’m proud of you, for telling me, and your dad would be too.”

 

Alex surged forward, hugging her mother tightly. Tears rolling down her face as she sobbed into her mother’s shoulder.

 

“Thank you, mom,” she whispered after a while.

 

She felt her mother caress her hair,” Now, go change into something dry, or else you’ll get sick, I’m going to pick up Kara from Winn’s, and then we can all have dinner together, okay?”

 

“Okay,” she sniffled, giving her mom one last hard squeeze before pulling back, grabbing her backpack, and running upstairs.

 

She quickly changed into some sweatpants and a tshirt, not bothering to wear a long sleeve to cover her soul mark. At least when she’s home.

 

She flopped down onto her bed with a phone in her hand to call Lucy, only to find a text from some number that only said _Alex?_

She wondered if she should text back since she didn’t know who it was, but figuring she had nothing to lose she shrugged, and texted, _Yes?_

The reply came almost instantly, _Good… just checking if you gave me the right number:D_

She frowned at her phone, quickly typing out a reply, _Maggie?_

Alex smiled at her phone as she got another text, _The one and only._

She could just about picture Maggie’s smug grin, _Why would I give you a wrong number?_

Waiting for a reply she quickly saved Maggie’s number into her phone.

 

 **Sawyer:** I don’t know

 **Sawyer:** I was hoping you wouldn’t

 **Sawyer:** You know… for the sake of my jacket

 **Me:** Of course, it’s not like I sit right in front of you in chemistry

 

She watched as the three dots appeared and disappeared and appeared again, Maggie clearly not knowing what to reply.

 

 **Sawyer:** Okay… you got me Danvers

 **Me:** ;)

 

Alex saw the three dots appear right as she sent her reply, her heart fluttering. She decided to send a quick text to Lucy while waiting for Maggie’s reply.

 

 **Me:** So… Umm… I GOT HER NUMBER!!!

 **Major Sass:** No fucking way

 

Alex sent Lucy a screenshot of her and Maggie’s short conversation, noting that the dots were still there, appearing and disappearing, as if she didn’t know what to say.

 

 **Major Sass:** If there’s someone who can come out to them-self and get a girl’s number in a span of 24h it’s you

 **Me:** I also came out to mom

 **Major Sass:** Holy fuck you’re so extra I love you so much

 **Major Sass:** How’d it go??

 **Me:** Really good actually:D

 **Major Sass:** That’s amazing Alex… Listen I gotta run… Family dinner-_- but I wanna hear all the details tomorrow

 **Major Sass:** Oh and I hope you’re aware I’m gonna read your convo with your wife

 **Major Sass:** Okay gotta go byeeee xox

 **Me:** Yep I’m pretty aware

 **Me:** Wait what

 **Me:** My what???!! ?!!! !

 **Me:** ??!!?! ?!!!? !!!! ???!

 **Me:** LANE??! !!?

 

Alex heard the front door open, and her little sister telling her mom about her day enthusiastically. Seeing that Maggie still hadn’t texted she threw her phone on the bed, and ran downstairs.

 

“Hey Kara,” she greeted her little sister when she walked into the kitchen where Kara was waiting for Eliza to serve the pasta so she could take it into the dining room.

 

“Hi Alex,” Kara smiled as she stuffed some grated cheese into her mouth,” hey is that Maggie’s jacket?” she asked, pointing at the jacket that Alex left hanging on one of the bar stools by the kitchen counter.

 

“Umm, yes,” Alex replied tentatively.

 

“Wait, do you mean, that Maggie?” Eliza turned around, giving each girl a plate, gesturing to Alex’s forearm as she reached for hers.

 

“Yep, yeah, that would be her,” Alex grabbed the bowl with grated cheese and carried it to the dining room along with her portion.

 

“Alex that is amazing, do you know how incredibly lucky you are?” Eliza smiled at her older daughter, sitting down at the table.

 

“Wait, Alex, you told her?” asked Kara, confused, sitting down next to her big sister.

 

“Told what to whom?”

 

“Well, Eliza, that you’re gay?”

 

“I, uh,” Alex took a deep breath hearing the word, glancing at her mom for reassurance and finding her looking at her with a soft smile she nodded,” yeah, yeah I did.”

 

“I’m proud of you,” Kara smiled at her big sister before digging into a portion of pasta that no fifteen year old should be able to consume.

 

“So you know Maggie?” Eliza asked.

 

“Uh, not really, we have chemistry together, but, uh, Kara knows her better...” Alex trailed off.

 

“Well do tell me about this girl that was made for my daughter,” Eliza smiled at Kara who quickly swallowed the huge bite of pasta just to start gushing about how great Maggie is.

 

Alex’s heart felt so full in that moment. The feeling of acceptance and love radiating off of the both women as she watched them talk about her soulmate.

 

~ ~ ~

 

After the dinner Alex helped her mom clean up, and then headed back to her room. She changed into her pajamas, and crawled into the bed, grabbing her phone to see she had a text from Maggie. Well not one, but ten.

 

She smiled at her phone as she opened the text, her stomach fluttering.

 

 **Sawyer:** So… Umm… Would you maybe wanna hang out? Say… Tomorrow after school?

 **Sawyer:** Cause you know it’s Friday and I was thinking… that if you don’t have anything planned we could maybe grab some pizza? You know… umm… talk some more??

 **Sawyer** : I understand if you don’t wanna

 **Sawyer:** Or we could do something else…

 **Sawyer:** Idk… if you don’t like pizza we could grab something else…

 **Sawyer:** Or we could go to my place. My aunt is working so we would be alone

 **Sawyer:** Not that I’m suggesting anything PG just saying we’d have space

 **Sawyer** : Ya know… to talk

 **Sawyer:** Or idk…

 **Sawyer:** It’s up to you…

 

Seeing how panicked Maggie got after she didn’t reply made Alex’s stomach flutter even more. Smiling, she typed out a response.

 

 **Me:** Of course I like pizza I’m not a monster

 **Sawyer:** Sooo pizza?

 **Me:** Sounds great:))

 **Sawyer:** We could order it to my place?

 **Me:** Promise that you’ll keep it PG?

 **Sawyer:** Cross my heart O:)

 **Me:** Okay then

 **Me:** Goodnight Maggie

Sawyer: Night Alex xo

 

Alex’s heart fluttered as she read Maggie’s text. Smiling like an idiot she put her phone on her charger and settled back into her bed.

 

She fell asleep with a smile on her lips, dreaming of _those_ dimples.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos are always great:D
> 
> let me know what you think either in the comments or on tumblr peggycarterislife  
> all the criticism is welcome and appreciated


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> not pizza with maggie yet, that's gonna be the next chapter:D

“Oh my god,” Lucy scrolled through Alex’s conversation with Maggie,” I can’t believe you actually have a date with your wife today.”

 

“It’s not a date!” Alex protested,” And stop calling her that, she’s not my wife.”

 

“Sure it’s not, and, uh, not yet but give it a few years hon,” Lucy winked at her friend.

 

“You’re the worst,” Alex huffed.

 

They were walking around tables in the school yard, trying to find a spot for their lunch break, but everything seemed to be occupied since they came a few minutes later because Alex just _had to_ finish her notes, even though it was their homework.

 

“Yeah, we’ll see at your bachelorette party, okay?”

 

Alex just rolled her eyes at her best friend’s antics, but decided not to argue with her anymore,” I think all the tables are full.”

 

“Well fuck,” Lucy sighed,” guess we’ll be eating on the ground today.”

 

“Yep,” Alex nodded,” Under the tree?” Alex pointed to an old oak tree that was growing a bit further from the lunch tables.

 

“Sure, why not,” Lucy shrugged. “So, when is Maggie picking you up for your date?”

 

“Luce, stop, I’ve told you like a million times, it’s not a date,” Alex whined as they walked across the lawn.

 

“Yeah, sure, she just invited you, to her place, for some pizza, after she drove you home, and gave you her jacket so you wouldn’t be cold, and asked for your number, texted you to check if you gave her the right number like ten minutes after you gave it to her, and then when you didn’t reply to her totally not asking you out,” she air-quoted the last part,” she began to ramble her way through. But yeah it’s totally not a date.”

 

“We’re just gonna hang out, ya know,” Alex threw her backpack down and sat with her back against the tree,” We’re gonna get to know each other a bit better.”

 

“Is that what you kids call shoving your tongue down someone else’s throat these days?” Lucy laughed, sitting down next to Alex.

 

“Lucy!” Alex slapped her arm,” Stop it, it’s not funny!”

 

“What’s not funny?” they both heard someone ask.

 

Alex looked up to see who it was and-

 

_Oh come on._

 

“Oh, hey Maggie,” Lucy grinned, “Hi James.”

 

“Hey Lucy,” James flashed her a smile, then remembering Alex was there too, nodding his head in greeting,” Alex.”

 

“Alex, Lucy,” Maggie grinned, showing her dimples, and Alex was once again happy to be sitting.

 

“Hey guys,” she blurted, “Nothing’s, uh, nothing’s funny. Why would be anything funny? I mean, uh, right Luce?”

 

“Yep, hon,” Lucy laughed, patting her friend’s knee,” I didn’t really get a word of what you just said, but yeah, totally.”

 

Alex cocked an eyebrow, glaring at her friend so hard that if she were Kara, Lucy would have holes in the side of her head.

 

“It’s okay, you don’t have to tell us,” James said, raising his hands, “we just wanted to ask you if we could join you for lunch? Cause ya know, it’s really hot today, and we just ran like a million laps because this one needed to prove me that she’s faster than me-“

 

“Which I am, by the way,” Maggie grinned proudly.

 

“-and we would probably die if we ate our lunch in the sun,” James finished, glaring at Maggie good-naturedly.

 

“Of course, there’s plenty of room,” Lucy answered before Alex could even process the question.

 

So Maggie was going to eat lunch with her. With her and Lucy.

 

_Oh my god, Lucy._

 

Alex shot her friend a warning glare, quickly sending a quick prayer to whomever was listening, that Lucy wouldn’t _talk_ too much.

 

“Sweet, thanks,” James smiled warmly, sitting opposite of Lucy. Maggie sat down right next to him, opposite Alex.

 

“Where’s Kara?” Maggie asked.

 

“One Danvers girl not enough for you?” Lucy asked with a smirk. Alex nearly choked on her sandwich.

 

“I, uh, I,” Maggie struggled to answer, a blush creeping on her cheeks.

 

“She’s working on some article for the paper with Winn,” James answered simply, clearly trying to hold back his laughter.

 

“Oh okay,” Lucy nodded innocently, “Do you guys run together a lot?”

 

“Not so much run as work out in the gym,” James beamed, “Gotta keep those abs tight, right Mags?”

 

Maggie just nodded, not even looking at her friend, finding the paper bag holding her lunch  much more fascinating.

 

Alex was, once again, choking on her sandwich.

 

_Abs? Maggie’s abs? She’s got both dimples AND abs? What?_

 

“You okay hon?” Lucy asked, a smug grin plastered on her face.

 

“I, uh, yeah, I just need some water, I’m kinda thirsty,” Alex coughed.

 

“Oh I bet you are,” she retorted, her grin growing even wider. James had to fake a cough to mask the laugh that bubbled its way out of his chest. Maggie just sat there staring at the brown paper bag as if it were the most interesting thing in the world, while Alex couldn’t help but choke on the few gulps of water she’d drank before Lucy’s _incredibly_ _witty_ remark. She was so going to murder Lucy.

 

Maggie cleared her throat, “So, uh, Danvers, why are you wearing a flannel when it’s like a zillion degrees? Aren’t you hot?”

 

Just before Alex could open her mouth to answer, she heard her best friend talking, “Hmm, well, I don’t know Maggie you tell me.”

Yep, that was it, Lucy motherfucking Lane was a dead girl walking.

 

Maggie just sat there, her stare flitting between James, Lucy, and Alex, her mouth agape.

 

“You know what? I, uh, I just remembered I really need to get, uh, something from my locker, so I’m gonna, I’m gonna go.” Alex scrambled off of the ground as quickly as she could, “I’ll see you guys later.”

 

“Bye hon,” Lucy winked at her, suppressing a laugh.

 

“See you Alex,” James smiled warmly.

 

“You know what I just remembered, I need to get something from my locker too,” Maggie quickly shoved her untouched lunch into her backpack.

 

“No you don’t, our next period is history, you always carry your history book in your-,” James started, confused, before looking at Maggie, “Oh, yeah, you mean, the, that thing, that we need, yeah, go, I’ll see you in class.”

 

“Would you mind if I walked with you?” Maggie looked up at Alex.

 

“Of course she wouldn’t,” Lucy quipped before Alex could say anything.

 

Alex shot Lucy a deadly glare, looking back at Maggie she smiled warmly,” Let’s go.”

 

“Play safe kids!” they both heard Lucy shout as they were walking away.

 

“So, uh, what, what was that about?” Maggie asked as she held the door open for Alex.

 

“Thanks,” she blushed,” Uh, well, that was just Lucy being, well, Lucy.”

 

“Lucy being Lucy,” Maggie mused, a grin playing on her lips.

 

“Yeah,” Alex huffed out a laugh, and tried to change the subject quickly,” So, uh, should I wait for you after school or…?”

 

“Oh, yeah, meet you in the parking lot?”

 

“Yeah, okay,” Alex smiled.

 

“Great,” Maggie beamed.

 

“So, uh, this is me,” Alex pointed to one of the lockers. Maggie stopped with her by the locker, looking at her studiously. “What?” Alex squirmed.

 

“Can I ask you something Danvers?” Maggie tilted her head to the side.

 

“Uh, yeah, sure,” Alex nodded, taking a deep breath, trying to quell her nervousness.

 

_She so knows. Holy fuck._ _I am so royally screwed. Shit... Okay, deep breaths, Alex, deep breaths._

 

Maggie looked at her seriously,” What kind of pizza do you like.”

 

“Oh,” Alex broke out into a relieved laugh,” Umm, pineapple?”

 

“Oh my god, Danvers,” Maggie looked at her with fake disgust on her face,” Don’t tell me you’re one of _those_ people.”

 

“You mean one of the people who know what’s good?”

 

“You’re joking right?”

 

“Why would I be joking about something as serious as pizza?”

 

“You wound me, Danvers,” Maggie clutched her heart,” And here I thought I liked you.”

 

_Here I thought I liked you._

 

The words resonated in Alex’s mind.

 

_She likes me. I’m sure she doesn’t like like me though… There’s no way, right?_

Maggie stood there gaping at Alex after realizing what she said with a blush-

 

_OH MY GOD IS SHE BLUSHING AGAIN?_

“I, uh, should, get going, to, you know, get that, uh the thing, from my locker,” she stammered.

 

“Yeah, you wouldn’t wanna be late.”

 

“Yeah, exactly…”

 

“So, I’ll see you after school?” Alex asked, smiling.

 

“Yeah, see you Danvers,” Maggie grinned, waving her goodbye, and leaving.

 

Alex just stood there. Trying to process what just happened. She knew she couldn’t deal with this on her own. And as much as she was pissed at her, she was in desperate need of some Lucy talk. But that had to wait till she got home because she couldn’t call her while she was on her not-a-date with Maggie.

 

She watched her leave until she disappeared in the crowd, thinking that Lucy was right, Maggie does have a great butt.

 

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos are great and comments even better!! 
> 
> Lemme know what you think, if you have any suggestions I'd be happy to hear them:)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pt. 1 of their not-a-date :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so sorry it took me so long but i've been pretty busy..
> 
> anyways, i feel like you're gonna hate me for how i ended this chapter but i swear i'll try to post another one asap

She was sitting at her desk, tapping her pencil nervously, staring at the clock.

Five more minutes till the end of the lesson. Just five more minutes until meeting Alex in the parking lot. She could do this. She could totally do this.

“Hey,” James poked her into the side with his pencil,” You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” Maggie shrugged, pretending that she found the whole concept of Missouri compromise incredibly interesting, even though she kept glancing at the clock every second.

“Mags, come on, I know you,” James whispered,” you love these lessons, but you didn’t pay much attention today. What’s bugging you?”

Maggie just looked at him incredulously, cocking one eyebrow.

“You nervous about your date with Alex?” James grinned.

“James, come on, you know it’s not a date.”

“I know how much you like her,” James retorted,” How hard you’ve been crushing on her ever since you saw her sassing those douchebags from the football team…”

“She’s probably straight anyways,” Maggie huffed.

“How can you be so sure?” James asked,” That girl wears more flannel than you, my friend.”

“I just know it, okay?” Maggie snapped.

“Hey, keep it down in the back of the class, please,” Mrs. Smith warned them.

“I’m sorry,” Maggie grinned apologetically.

Maggie tried to pay attention for the rest of the lesson, but she found her thoughts drifting to Alex almost every second.

She knew it wasn’t a date but she was so damn nervous, she barely slept that night. She’d been crushing on Alex for ages, she knew she couldn’t possibly stand a chance to be her girlfriend, even if Alex wasn’t straight, she deserved more than her. So she at least wanted to be Alex’s friend, as painful as it could be.

The shrill of the bell pulled her out of her musings. She quickly packed all of her things into her backpack, and left the classroom, not waiting for James.

She wasn’t mad at him, after all he didn’t do anything, she just didn’t really feel like talking about it right now.

“Maggie!” she heard him yell,” Wait!”

She didn’t slow down though, if anything she only sped up, hoping to get lost in the crowd. She heard him jogging behind her as she exited the school, and headed towards her car across the parking lot.

“Maggie, I’m sorry, come on,” he breathed heavily as he caught up with her.

“A tad out of shape, aren’t we?” she tried joking to lighten up the mood, to avoid what James wanted to talk about.

“Maggie.”

“What?” she unlocked her car, throwing her backpack onto the backseat.

“I know you really like her, Mags…”

“But it doesn’t matter, James, okay?” she hissed.

“I don’t wanna push you or anything, I know how hard it is for you to open up, but I’m your best friend, you can tell me anything, you know that, right?” James asked softly.

“Yeah,” Maggie nodded, taking a deep breath,” It was her birthday yesterday.”

“Okay, umm, I’m sorry but I don’t think I’m following.”

“Her seventeenth birthday, Jimmy,” Maggie finally turned around to look at her friend.

“Oh,” he breathed.

“Yeah, exactly.”

“Well do you know who it is?” he asked.

“No, we never talk, why would she tell me?”

“Well, then how do you know it’s not you?”

“That would be just way too good,” she looked up at James, biting her lip to keep it from trembling,” She deserves so much better than me.”

“Hey, no, Maggie, come here,” he said as he hugged her tightly,” You, Maggie Sawyer, deserve the world, and she would be so, so lucky to have you as her soulmate.”

“I’m not gonna argue about that now, cause we don’t have the time, but I strongly disagree,” Maggie mumbled against his chest.

“You’re amazing Maggie, trust me, I wouldn’t hang out with you so much if you weren’t,” James laughed softly,” And what do you know, maybe it’s you.”

“Come on, Olsen, what are the odds of my soulmate going to the same school as I do?” Maggie huffed, pulling back and wiping away the few tears that had rolled down her cheeks.

“Seriously Maggie?” James laughed as he pulled up his shirt enough to point at the soulmate mark on his hip bone.

“Okay, Lucy goes to the same school as you do, you’re lucky, but seriously what are the chances? You know I’m not the luckiest person…” she trailed off.

“Maggie this has nothing to do with your parents being assholes…”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah,” James nodded,” Or you know maybe it does…”

“Wow, Jimmy, just wow,” Maggie stared at her best friend.

“No, no, no, no, Mags, I mean, maybe it’s all a part of some greater plan,” James explained.

“Greater plan? What the-“

“Hi Maggie.”

“Danvers, hey,” Maggie couldn’t help it but smile at her.

“Hi Alex,” said James.

“Oh, James, hi,” Alex grinned apologetically, glancing at him.

“Okay,” James smiled at them both warmly,” I gotta run, see you guys.”

“Bye Jimmy.”

“See you,” Alex waved, turning back around to face Maggie,” Hi.”

“You’ve already said that, Danvers,” Maggie quipped with a grin on her face.

“I, uh, yeah, I, sorry,” Alex stammered.

“Oh don’t be, you’re cute when you’re all flustered,” Maggie heard herself saying before she even realized. Regretting the words immediately when she saw Alex’s face flush beet red. “I’m, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Oh,” Alex looked almost sad, taking a deep breath and squinting her eyes at Maggie she asked,” How’d you mean it then?”

Maggie opened her mouth to say something but she couldn’t get a word out. Her mouth felt weirdly dry, her heart was beating so hard in her chest she thought she was about to get a heart attack.

“So?” Alex cocked an eyebrow.

“I, uh, I,” Maggie tried getting at least something out of her mouth but failed, Alex just stood there looking at her with a smug smirk on her face.

Well at least she was still standing there, and she didn’t really look like she was going to yell at her so that was good too.

“Okay so,” Alex started after a while,” I think I was promised some pizza…”

“I’m sorry,” Maggie mumbled, voice small.

“What for?” Alex looked confused.

“The, the thing, I said,” Maggie struggled to use the English language.

“You honestly didn’t say anything wrong, Sawyer…”

“For calling you cute, okay?” Maggie snapped.

“Oh, Maggie, I, why would you apologize for that?” Alex frowned.

“You, you’re not, mad?”

“A cute girl just called me cute, do I have a reason to be mad?” Alex said, a blush spreading across her cheeks.

Maggie was genuinely taken aback. Sure she knew that not every single girl would get weirded out if she called her cute, in fact she hadn’t met many girls like that since she moved from Blue Springs. But this was different, Alex was actually complimenting her too. Alex fucking Danvers was standing there, calling her cute.

_ Well fuck me. _

But Alex did have a soulmate. And that soulmate wasn’t Maggie. That would be just way too good. And Maggie was used to the fact that good things weren’t meant for her

“I,” Maggie took a deep breath to compose herself,” It’s a long story, Danvers.”

Looking at Alex, she could see the understanding in her eyes, mixed with something soft, and something that looked an awful lot like anger.

Maggie felt a twinge of anger in her chest, she knew it was her soulmate, but for the first time ever she didn’t even bother to think about what was going on with them.

“Then you’ll tell me when you’re ready,” Alex said softly, and Maggie had to use everything she had in her not to cry.

Not trusting herself to speak she just nodded her head, offering Alex a weak smile.

“Okay now let’s get you some disgusting, pineapple-less pizza,” Alex grinned, walking around the car to the passenger’s seat.

“Putting pineapple on pizza should be illegal,” Maggie retorted, making a disgusted face. She was so glad Alex didn’t pressure her into telling her anything.

“Okay, if we want this to work,” Alex said pointing her finger between the two of them,” you  _ have to _ stop insulting pineapple pizza.”

“Over my cold dead body, Danvers,” Maggie grinned as she started the car.

Alex just rolled her eyes and shook her head,” I’m gonna make you change your mind. You’ll see. One day you’ll love pineapple pizza, Sawyer.”

“Not gonna happen,” Maggie laughed,” As long as I have my taste buds intact, I’ll never eat that shit.”

“Come on, it’s not that bad,” Alex protested.

“Yes, yes it is,” Maggie argued,” Are we gonna spend the whole time arguing about our pizza preferences?”

“I don’t know,” Alex said,” Are you gonna keep insulting my pizza?”

“Well duh,” Maggie snorted.

“Oh my God, Maggie,” Alex huffed.

Maggie smiled fondly as she glanced over at Alex. There was just something between the two of them that made the conversation flow easily.

“So,” Maggie started,” Do you wanna watch something at my place or…?”

“Well, if I recall correctly, I was promised pizza and some getting to know each other,” Alex replied with a grin,” But everything PG.”

“Yes, of course,” Maggie nodded seriously, gulping.

She honestly wished she would die right on the spot when she sent that text the night before. Now she was just mentally kicking herself, trying not to let her mind drift to rather R rated things she’d like to do to the girl sitting next to her.

“But I suppose we could watch something while we eat the pizza,” Alex said.

“Uhm,” Maggie agreed. She parked the car in front of the small pizza place,” You wait here and think about what you wanna watch, I’m gonna get the pizza.”

“You want me to wait here till they make the pizza?” Alex asked,” I’m gonna be all old and wrinkly till you get back, if not dead.”

“No, you’re not,” Maggie huffed out a laugh,” I texted Tommy to have the pizza ready so I can just pick it up after school.”

“Tommy?” she asked confused.

“My aunt’s boyfriend,” Maggie clarified.

“Oh, okay…”

“Okay, so wait here, I’ll be right back,” Maggie smiled before quickly running to get the pizza.

The bell chimed as she opened the door, walking over to the counter but not bothering to stop there, she let herself into the back.

“Hey guys,” she said. “Do you know where Tommy is?” she asked when they all greeted her.

“I think he’s in the office, but I don’t know if you really wanna go there,” one of the cooks said,” He left the pizza for you under the counter, so you can just take it and go…”

“Nah, I’m gonna say hi to him,” Maggie smiled,” Thanks Reggie.”

She made her way through the kitchen to where Tommy’s office was, not bothering to knock, she just opened the door.

Looking back, Maggie had never regretted anything more than not just taking the pizza and leaving because she was pretty sure she would have to bleach her brain to get the image of her aunt on that desk… like that.

She shut the door closed as quickly as humanly possible, just standing there frozen to the spot. She heard a string of curses from the inside as someone probably hit themself and knocked something over in the process since she heard a fairly loud crash.

After a few more seconds of just standing there, staring blankly ahead with a horrified expression on her face, the door flew open and Maggie was greeted with the sight of her aunt, slightly disheveled, her uniform not tucked properly, hair messy, cheeks flushed.

“Mags,” she breathed,” What are you, what are you doing here?”

“I came to pick up pizza for Alex and me, and I just wanted to thank Tommy,” Maggie looked at the ground, avoiding making eye contact with her aunt,” But I guess I can thank him later…”

“Hey, anytime kid!” she heard him yell from the inside of the office.

“I’m sorry Izzy,” Maggie looked up at her aunt apologetically,” I should’ve knocked.”

“Nah, you’re good Mags… It’s our fault, we shouldn’t be doing that in here in the first place, especially since the door doesn’t lock…”

“Aren’t you supposed to be at work?” Maggie asked.

“My shift doesn’t start for another half an hour so…”

“Okay, I’ll just,” Maggie gestured at the exit,” Gotta go bleach my brain.”

“Oh don’t act like you’re so innocent,” Izzy retorted.

“Plus I don’t wanna keep the lady waiting for me in the car, so…”

“Oh,” Maggie’s aunt grinned.

“What?”

“Nothing…” she trailed off,” I just, you must really like this Alex girl, since ya know, you never let me have pineapple on my half of the pizza.”

“What? How do you know?”

“Come on Mags, Tommy knows you pretty well,” Izzy smiled smugly,” He was pretty shocked himself.”

“Ugh, okay, whatever, I’m gonna go, I’ll try to erase what I just saw from my brain,” Maggie said, waving her aunt goodbye as she turned to leave.

“Oh I’m sure Alex will help you with that!”

Maggie just shook her head at her aunt’s antics, quickly grabbing the pizza from where Reggie said it would be and ran back to the car.

“I’m sorry it took me so long,” she said as she handed Alex the pizza,” got kind of held up…”

“That’s okay,” Alex smiled.

“How do I bleach my brain?” she asked sincerely, looking at Alex. The confusion on Alex’s face was priceless. “I just kind of walked in on my aunt and her boyfriend, they were having sex on his desk…”

“Oh,” Alex breathed, eyes wide.

“I can’t decide if the fact that she still had most of her uniform on was actually a blessing or a curse…” Maggie said as she rubbed her eyes,” I’ll never get the picture out of my brain, that’s for sure, so there goes my dream to become a cop one day.”

“Your aunt’s a cop?” Alex asked.

“I’m kind of traumatized over here Danvers, trying to pour my heart out to you, and that is what you ask?” Maggie glared at Alex playfully.

“Oh, right, sorry,” Alex grinned,” So… what position were they in?”

“Oh my God, Danvers,” Maggie grimaced, Alex just looked at her with a shit-eating grin on her face. Maggie couldn’t help the butterflies she felt in her stomach when she saw Alex’s smile.

“What?” she asked innocently.

“You’re unbelievable,” she grunted as she started the car.

Alex just scoffed before asking,” So, a cop, huh?”

“Yep,” Maggie nodded.

“Why?”

“What why?” Maggie frowned.

“Why do you wanna be a cop?” Alex asked,” You sure it’s a good choice? You don’t seem to be very bright…” Alex teased.

“Ha-ha, Danvers, very funny,” Maggie snorted.

“Sorry,” Alex grinned,” But for real, why do you wanna be a cop?”

“Well, my aunt is a cop,” Maggie stated simply.

“Okay but that doesn’t really explain anything,” Alex said, looking at Maggie she quickly added,” You don’t have to answer if it’s too personal…”

“No, it’s okay, Alex,” Maggie replied, looking over at the red-head,” But I think conversation would be much better with some pizza, maybe some juice.”

Maggie’s reasons for wanting to be a police officer were a pretty sore topic for her, no one besides James and her aunt knew. It’s not like she had many friends, she was more of a lone wolf, finding it hard to get out of her shell and make friends, but even if she did have a lot of friends, she didn’t think the number of people who would know would be bigger.

It took her almost half a year to open up to James like that. Granted, her wounds were pretty fresh back then, but still, here she was, really considering telling Alex the truth. The whole truth.

However simple the reasons might be, it was hard talking about it. Well, the reasons weren’t really that simple. Being a gay non-white kid, she knew her fair share about discrimination, especially since she was from Blue Springs, Nebraska. A very white, and very Christian town in the middle of nowhere. Where if you didn’t show up at Sunday’s mass you became the most talked about topic of the week. Where if you weren’t white you were the first one to get blamed for anything that happened. Where if you were gay, well, there wasn’t such a thing as being gay… If you claimed to be one of the “abominations” after all, you’d get send to a camp where they would “fix you”.

Her aunt has always been her role model. Telling her about how she can fight all the injustice from the inside, no matter how small the change she makes is, it’s still better than nothing.

After her own parents kicked her out, and Izzy took her in, she promised herself that she would do anything she could to help kids like her, like her aunt taught her, from the inside. To try to fix the system that was so fucked up, at least a little bit. To prevent queer kids from getting harassed, being homeless, or worse…

“Okay then,” Alex nodded without hesitation,” Can I ask you something though?”

“Um, yeah, sure,” Maggie nodded, chewing on her lips nervously.

“Do you like your orange juice with or without bits?” she asked seriously.

“Really Danvers?” Maggie let out a nervous laugh.

“Yes.”

“With bits,” Maggie replied.

“Honestly, what is wrong with you?” Alex asked incredulously.

“Don’t tell me you’re one of those freaks who don’t like bits in their juice,” Maggie shook her head, parking her car in the driveway by the house.

“Don’t tell me you’re one of those freaks who like bits in their juice,” Alex retorted.

“Are we ever gonna agree on something?” Maggie asked with a grin on her face as she killed the engine.

“I’m sure we will, Sawyer,” Alex nodded,” But I have a feeling it’s not gonna be food.”

“Fair enough,” Maggie conceded.

They got out of the car, Alex took the pizza while Maggie grabbed their backpacks from the backseat of the car.

“After you,” Maggie said as she unlocked the door and held it open for Alex.

“What a gentlewoman,” Alex laughed, walking past Maggie,” Thank you.”

“No problem, Danvers,” Maggie replied, trying to hide the blush that was creeping up her cheeks.

Maggie kicked off her shoes by the door, noting that Alex did so as well, and dropped their backpacks by the coat hanger.

“Okay so, um, do you wanna go to my room or…?” Maggie trailed off.

“Well, I would say buy a girl dinner first, but I guess you already did that,” Alex laughed nervously, pointing at the box she was holding in her hands.

“Oh, no, no, no, no, I didn’t mean it like that,” Maggie felt her blush getting stronger, knowing that her darker skin tone would not cover it,” We could also go to the living room…”

“Hey, Maggie, relax,” Alex smiled warmly,” Your room is okay.”

“Okay then,” Maggie took a deep breath,” Let me get some drinks before we go upstairs.”

“Okay,” Alex nodded,” Do you need some help?”

“I guess you could take the glasses,” Maggie said as she headed into the kitchen, Alex in tow. She placed two glasses on the pizza box that Alex was holding, opening the fridge to pull out two boxes of orange juice,” You’re lucky my aunt doesn’t know what’s good either, so we have some bits free juice.”

“You mean I’m lucky you’re aunt  _ knows _ what’s good,” Alex chuckled.

Maggie just shook her head,” Let’s go upstairs before we start arguing about ice cream, shall we?”

“Okay,” Alex nodded, following Maggie upstairs,” Why would we argue about ice cream?”

“Because I like mine vegan and I bet you would never even put that in your mouth,” Maggie answered.

“Okay, uh, one question,” Alex said, stopping in front the door of Maggie’s room,” What the actual fuck is wrong with you?”

“See, I told you,” Maggie chuckled,” Come on in,” she said, opening the door for Alex.

“Okay, I’m gonna let the ice cream thing be for now,” Alex said as she walked in, placing the pizza and the glasses on Maggie’s desk,” But we’re so getting back to it.”

“Whatever you say, Danvers,” Maggie laughed, closing the door behind them, flopping down onto her bed after placing the juice boxes on her desk.

She took her laptop from her nightstand, turning to look at Alex who was still standing by her desk, playing with her hands nervously, and if she were to be honest, it was the most adorable sight she’s ever seen. Well, to be fair, anytime Alex did something Maggie would say that it was the most adorable thing ever…

“I don’t bite,” she chuckled, patting the bed beside her.

“Right, yeah, sorry,” Alex stammered.

Maggie wanted to lighten up the mood, to tell her there was nothing to be nervous about, but truth be told, her heart was pounding like crazy and she was hoping Alex couldn’t actually hear it.

“So, do we wanna watch something?” she asked.

“I don’t know,” Alex answered, moving to sit next to Maggie,” We could just talk for now, and we can watch something later if you want…”

“Uhm, yeah, okay,” Maggie nodded, putting her laptop back, trying to ignore how her heart was beating even faster than before. “So, what do you wanna talk about?”

“Um, I don’t know,” Alex laughed nervously,” I’m not really good at this you know.”

“At what?” Maggie asked, confused.

“Making friends, ya know,” Alex scratched at her neck nervously,” My only friends are basically Lucy and my little sister. I guess you could count Kara’s friends too...”

“Hey, Danvers, it’s okay,” Maggie smiled at her,” I don’t know if you haven’t noticed, but I only really have one friend, so you’re actually better than me.”

“I don’t think so, but okay,” Alex grinned, and Maggie was convinced she was having an aneurysm.

“Okay so, what do socially non-awkward people talk about?” Maggie asked, making Alex laugh.

“I wouldn’t know, Sawyer,” she shrugged,” What about you tell me why you wanna be a cop?”

“Getting right to the deep stuff, are we? I was thinking something more like ‘what’s your favorite color’ or ‘what’s your Hogwarts house’,” Maggie felt her stomach clench. If she was going to tell Alex the truth, and she sure as hell was not going to lie to her, she would have to come out to her.

_ What if she doesn’t know? _

Well, Maggie was pretty sure the whole school knew but that did nothing to quell her nerves.

“Oh, I’m sorry, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” Alex began apologizing immediately.

“Hey, no, it’s okay,” Maggie said, more to herself than to Alex.

“You don’t have to tell me if it’s too personal, Maggie.”

“Do you want to hear it or not, Danvers?” Maggie asked.

“If you want to tell me then yeah, I do,” she nodded.

“Uh, okay” Maggie took a deep breath,” There’s only two people who know this, so please don’t tell anyone?”

“Never,” Alex promised.

“Okay so, uh, as I’ve already told you, my aunt is a cop,” Maggie started, looking down at her hands,” And as you might have noticed, I don’t live with my parents…”

She looked up at Alex, who only nodded, looking at her intently.

“Do you know where I’m from?” she asked her.

“Blue Springs in Nebraska,” Alex answered.

“Yeah, well, uh, fuck,” Maggie cursed, taking a deep breath to try and get the words out.

“Hey you don’t have to tell me, Maggie,” Alex offered,” We can talk about our Hogwarts houses instead…”

“Nah, it’s okay, it’s just hard to get the words out,” she took one more deep breath, closing her eyes,” I’m gay.”

There. She said it. She didn’t know what she was expecting, Alex didn’t seem like a homophobe, but when she opened her eyes she was surprised to find Alex looking at her the same she was before. There was no sign of judgement on her face. There was nothing but kindness reflected in her eyes, and Maggie had to try so damn hard not to start crying.

She was looking at Alex, silently for a few moments before Alex spoke up,” Yeah, I kinda knew…”

“You did?”

“Yep,” she nodded, smiling gently.

“Okay,” Maggie nodded to herself, relief washing over her.

“Um,” Alex cleared her throat,” Is it, is it okay if I hold your hand?”

Maggie almost choked on air, nodding her head as a blushing Alex  _ fucking _ Danvers took her hand into hers, rubbing soothing circles with her thumb.

“Okay, uh, so, where was I,” Maggie cleared her throat,” Well, being from Blue Springs and being gay kind of contradicts itself… My parents, they, uh, weren’t very thrilled to find out I was gay. So, uh, they kicked me out.”

She looked up at Alex to see tears welling up in her eyes.

“Izzy took me in, we moved here because I was getting bullied at school and no one would really do anything about it since I’m a non-white, non-straight kid,” Maggie laughed bitterly,” So that’s why I wanna be a cop, I wanna help the little guys, be like Izzy. She says that whatever you can do to change the world to a better place, no matter how small the change is, it's worth it. She tries to make some change, from the inside, you know… So that’s why I wanna be a cop, like her…”

“Okay, uh,” Alex cleared her throat, when Maggie looked up at her, she saw there were tears streaming down her face,” I really feel like I need to hug you right now, is that okay?”

“Yeah,” Maggie breathed. 

Alex moved even closer to her before embracing her. Maggie felt how Alex buried her face in her neck, her grip at her shirt tightening. Maggie allowed herself to bury her nose in the crook of Alex’s neck, taking a deep breath, Alex’s perfume surrounding her, making her feel dizzy.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos and comments are great!! for real tho i live for your comments:D they make me write faster...  
>   
> do you want the next chapter from maggie's or alex's pov?


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> part two of their "not-a-date" :)

They were sitting side by side on Maggie’s bed, backs against the headboard, munching on the pizza. If it weren’t for the circumstances Alex would be having a party in her head to celebrate the hug but instead she was going through her mental list of the most painful ways to kill a person.

 

She couldn’t understand how someone could be so cruel to Maggie, just for being gay. Maggie who was never anything but nice even after all that she went through.

 

Alex remembered the fear, the self-hatred, the helplessness, the pain she felt about three years ago, and the resigned emptiness that came after. She always wondered what had happened to her soulmate to cause all of that, but now that she knew… Well, fury didn’t even begin to describe what she was feeling.

 

“Okay, so, what’s your house?” Maggie pulled her out of her musings.

 

“Huh?” Alex furrowed her brow in confusion.

 

“Hogwarts house, Danvers,” Maggie grinned, flashing Alex _those_ dimples.

 

Alex didn’t understand how someone who went through something like Maggie did, could possibly smile like that, how her smile was reflected in her eyes.

 

“Oh, uh, Slytherin,” Alex grinned proudly,” Kara says it only makes sense since she’s a Hufflepuff.”

 

Maggie reached for her glass which was placed on the bedside table, nodding her head in agreement,” Little Danvers is right.”

 

“What about you Sawyer?” Alex asked, putting the last bite of pizza into her mouth.

 

“Well, I don’t really know,” she took a sip of her juice,” I always either get Gryffindor or Hufflepuff when I take the Pottermore quiz.”

 

“What did you get the last time you took it?”

 

“Gryffindor,” she said as she placed the glass back on her bedside table.

 

“Uhm,” Alex hummed in agreement, looking at Maggie studiously.

 

“What?” Maggie asked, confused.

 

“Oh nothing,” Alex waved her hand,” Just that it does take a lot of courage to be a cop when you’ll need a ladder to put handcuffs on the bad guys.”

 

“Oh wow, Danvers,” Maggie gaped at her new friend.

 

“It’s true,” Alex shrugged, taking another slice of pizza.

 

“I am not _that_ short,” Maggie scoffed.

 

“Oh yeah you are,” Alex quipped.

 

Maggie frowned, crossing her arms across her chest,” Am not.”

 

“You kind of remind me of that rabbit from Zootopia,” Alex laughed,” I forgot her name, I’ll have to ask Kara…”

 

“Judy Hopps,” Maggie huffed.

 

“Yes, Judy, you look just like Judy,” Alex cackled.

 

Maggie’s frown deepened,” I look nothing like that adorable little bunny.”

 

“Sure, Sawyer,” Alex said, patting her knee,” The whole frowny thing you’ve got going on right now is totally anything but adorable.” She could feel the blush creeping up her cheeks after she said that but she couldn’t help herself, seeing Maggie sitting cross legged on the bed, arms folded across her chest, and a frown on her face accompanied by a slight pout, Alex was pretty sure she just found the definition of adorable.

 

Plus she felt like she had to cheer Maggie up a bit after the serious conversation they just had a few moments ago.

 

Maggie cleared her throat, putting down the slice of pizza she was eating, taking a deep breath before speaking,” Did you just call me adorable, Danvers?”

 

Alex was sure that her cheeks were pretty much matching her hair,” Uh,” she cleared her throat,” Maybe…” She avoided Maggie’s gaze, playing with the crust in her hands.

 

She heard Maggie breath out,” Oh.”

 

Looking up at her she noticed the dark red blush that was covering Maggie’s cheeks, Maggie just staring at her dumbfounded.

 

She tried saying something but her voice wasn’t working, her mouth just opening and closing.

 

Maggie cleared her throat, turning around to take a sip of her drink,” Well, Danvers, you’re lucky I’m full otherwise I’d show you the wrath of Maggie Sawyer.”

 

“Lucky me then,” Alex huffed out an awkward laugh.

 

“So, a movie?” Maggie asked when she turned back around.

 

“Yeah, sounds good,” Alex nodded, she could hear her heart pounding in her ears.

 

_When did not being a mess around Maggie become such an impossible thing to do?_

 

Maggie placed her laptop on the bed in front of them, taking the now empty box of pizza and placing it on her desk. “You want a drink?” she offered.

 

“Yeah, thanks,” Alex nodded, hearing Lucy’s witty quips about how she must be thirsty.

 

Shaking her head to clear it out she took the glass that Maggie handed to her and drained it all in one go, handing it back to Maggie when she was done.

 

Maggie flopped on the bed next to her after she put Alex’s glass on the bedside table next to hers, turning on her laptop. “So what do you wanna watch?”

 

“I was thinking we could watch ghostbusters.”

 

“Yes, holy shit, you’ve no idea how much I _love_ Kate McKinnon,” Maggie grinned as she pulled up Netflix.

 

Alex settled in against the headboard while Maggie set up the movie,” I guess we can finally agree on something.”

 

“Well finally,” she bumped Alex into the shoulder with a grin, settling next to her.

 

Alex bumped her back,” Shut up and watch the movie, Sawyer.”

 

“Aye aye, captain,” Maggie said with a mock salute.

 

~ ~ ~

 

They watched the first twenty minutes of the movie in silence when Maggie bumped into Alex again,” Hey, Danvers,” she whispered.

 

“Yeah, Sawyer?” Alex turned to look at her,” Why are we whispering?”

 

“I don’t know,” Maggie shrugged, replying in a normal voice,” Can I ask you something?”

 

Looking back at the screen Alex nodded,” Sure.”

 

“Well, I was wondering, do straight people ship blatantly gay couples like Holtzbert too or is it just a gay thing to do?”

 

Alex looked over at her, meeting her gaze. She took a deep breath, making a quick decision not to overthink it she simply said,” I wouldn’t know, Maggie.”

 

“What do you mean you wouldn’t know?” Maggie asked, genuinely confused.

 

“What I mean is,” she took another deep breath, looking at the screen rather than into Maggie’s eyes,” That I wouldn’t know what straight people do because apparently I’m not really, uh, straight.”

 

Alex looked back at Maggie who was staring at her with her mouth agape,” You mean, you, I mean, you…”

 

Alex grinned at Maggie’s struggle to string a sentence together, feeling a bit more confident,” Yeah, turns out I’m not as straight as I thought I was. Well, not straight at all in fact…”

 

“I’m so sorry, Danvers,” Maggie finally managed to get out,” I shouldn’t have assumed…”

 

“Hey, it’s okay,” Alex smiled, shrugging she added,” It’s pretty recent anyways.”

 

“Pretty recent?” Maggie asked, her brow furrowed.

 

Alex nodded, tapping her left forearm with her fingers,” Like a day recent.”

 

“You mean,” Maggie pointed to where Alex was tapping her fingers.

 

“That I wouldn’t realize if the universe didn’t slap me in the face with it? Yep,” she grinned.

 

“Oh, so that’s why you’re wearing long sleeves even though it’s like a million degrees.”

 

Alex looked at her arm, at the spot she knew Maggie’s name contrasted in black ink against her pale skin.” Well, not really because my soulmate’s a girl,” she took a deep breath, looking over at Maggie,” It’s because I know her…”

 

“Oh,” Maggie breathed.

 

Alex looked at her, unable to read her expression, she felt soft twinges of jealousy in her chest, deciding not to dwell on why Maggie would possibly be jealous of her soulmate. Well, she wasn’t stupid, she had an idea, but she didn’t want to get her hopes up.

 

She turned back to the screen, trying to focus on the movie.

 

“Do I, do I know her?” she heard Maggie ask her softly after a while. She turned to look at Maggie, her expression was guarded, the feeling in Alex’s chest stronger. “I’m sorry, Danvers, I, it’s not my place, I should-“

 

“No, it’s okay,” Alex cut off her rambling, smiling softly, she took a deep breath, and nodded her head,” Yes, you do know her.”

 

Maggie looked as if she was contemplating asking something for a little bit but then she seemed to change her mind, looking back at the screen she smiled softly, almost sadly,” Well then I hope she’ll treat you right cause I’d hate to kick a friend’s ass.”

 

Alex wanted to pull her sleeve up, to show Maggie her name so the sad smile would replace that happy, dimply one Alex loved so much. But she couldn’t. The fear of her not being Maggie’s soulmate was just too much.

 

Kara said Maggie’s birthday was in a month. Alex could wait a month.

 

She turned her attention back to the movie, leaning her head onto Maggie’s shoulder. She felt Maggie’s breath hitch a little,” Is this okay?”

 

“Yeah, you’re fine, Danvers,” Maggie nodded.

 

“Okay then,” Alex shuffled even closer to her,” Oh, by the way I forgot your jacket at home, sorry.”

 

“It’s okay,” Maggie reassured her,” At least you’ll have to talk to me again…”

 

“Don’t need an excuse for that, do I?” Alex lifted her head from Maggie’s shoulder, looking at her, “I mean, we’re friends, right?”

 

“Yeah, Danvers, we’re friends,” Maggie nodded, smiling, and Alex was happy to see her dimples again.

 

“Good,” she said, leaning her head against Maggie’s shoulder again.

 

~ ~ ~

 

When she blinked her eyes open blearily the first thing she noticed was that it was dark.

 

The second thing she noticed was that one of her arms was draped across somebody’s stomach, the other stuck under them, the person’s leg thrown over hers, hand grasping at her shirt. Assuming it was Kara, Alex cuddled in closer, but after a few moments she realized this was not her little sister. Kara was much warmer than this person. Kara’s shampoo smelled differently.

 

Shuffling a bit she realized she still had her flannel on.

 

_Shit._

 

She remembered how they laid down about halfway through the movie, agreeing that sitting was getting rather uncomfortable. Even though Alex was more than comfortable, sitting there with her head on Maggie’s shoulder, she wasn’t going to say no to lying down and cuddling with her, as awkward as that was at first.

 

They must’ve fallen asleep pretty quickly though because Alex didn’t remember much of the movie after she snuggled into Maggie’s side, and Maggie threw her arm around her waist.

 

She tried to figure out what time it was without waking Maggie up, but she couldn’t see what time the alarm clock on Maggie’s bedside table was showing. Although it was nearly summer so she was guessing it was pretty late since there was no light except for the few street laps outside.

 

As cute as Maggie looked in her sleep, Alex couldn’t just get up and leave. Partly because she was trapped under Maggie, partly because she didn’t want Maggie to feel like she ran away.

 

“Maggie,” she whispered softly,” Maggie wake up.” She used the hand that wasn’t trapped under Maggie’s body to nudge her gently.

 

“Not yet, you’re so warm,” Maggie whined, cuddling closer into Alex.

 

“Maggie I don’t wanna go either but I kinda need to go home,” Alex confessed in a whisper, brushing Maggie’s hair out of her face, seeing how she scrunched up her nose adorably because it was probably tickling her.

 

“Don’t go, Ally,” Maggie buried her face in Alex’s neck, making Alex chuckle, her stomach flutter with butterflies at the nickname.

 

She hated when people called her that. She’d threatened many individuals to rip their head off if they ever called her that again. But it just sounded… right, coming from Maggie.

 

“Mags,” Alex carded her fingers through Maggie’s hair,” I have to. I’m already gonna be late, my mom’s gonna kill me if she find out.”

 

“Huh?” Maggie pulled back a bit, blinking up at Alex sleepily.

 

“Finally,” Alex grinned, not bothering to pull her fingers out of Maggie’s hair,” Good morning.”

 

Maggie suddenly seemed to realize what was happening, propping herself up on her elbow but not disentangling herself from Alex just yet,” Shit, Danvers, did we fall asleep?”

 

“Seems like it,” Alex nodded.

 

Rubbing the sleep from her eyes she asked,” What’s the time?”

 

“The alarm’s on your side of the bed,” Alex replied.

 

 _Your side of the bed,_ echoed in Alex’s head, sounding strangely normal.

 

“Oh, right,” Maggie pulled away from Alex reluctantly, throwing her legs over the side of the bed she sat up. Alex already missed Maggie’s heat, the arm that was draped across her waist almost protectively. “It’s eleven thirty.”

 

“Fuck,” Alex swore as she shot up out of the bed quickly,” I was supposed to be home half an hour ago. Shit, it’s gonna be like midnight till I get home, fuck-“

 

“Hey, Alex,” Maggie stopped her panicked rambling with her hand on her shoulder,” You think I’m gonna let you walk home?”

 

“I, uh, yes?”

 

“It’s late, it’s dark, plus you live all the way by the beach, let me give you a ride Danvers,” she offered with a soft smile.

 

“Okay, thank you,” Alex smiled at Maggie, trying not to let it show that her stomach was doing flips cause of the brief touch.

 

“What are friends for, huh?” Maggie grinned, opening the door for Alex.

 

 _Well certainly not for holding each other like that while they sleep,_ Alex thought.

 

~ ~ ~

 

The drive to Alex’s place was quiet, both girls apparently still not fully woken up.

 

When Maggie pulled up in front of Alex’s house, Alex noticed the light were off and she thanked whatever greater being there was.

 

She had checked her phone, but she had no missed calls or messages from her mom which seemed strange but she guessed het mom just got stuck at the lab again. (Lucy sent her like a million texts though, asking how her date was progressing.)

 

“Wait,” Maggie said as Alex moved to open the door. She hopped out of the car and opened the door for Alex.” Gotta keep my gentlewoman status,” she grinned.

 

“Thank you,” Alex got out of the car, smiling softly at her.

 

“No problem,” Maggie shut the car door behind her and went to get Alex’s backpack from the backseat.

 

They began walking to the house slowly, Maggie carrying Alex’s backpack,” I had fun today, thank you,” Alex looked down at her friend.

 

“I wasn’t bored myself,” Maggie looked at Alex with a smirk, bumping her with her shoulder playfully.

 

“No, seriously, thank you,” Alex said as they came to a stop by the door,” Not just for hanging out with me, for, trusting me, with, ya know, things…”

 

“Likewise, Alex,” Maggie looked up at her, a soft smile playing at her lips. “Here,” she handed her the backpack.

 

“Thanks.”

 

“I guess I’m gonna,” Maggie pointed to her car awkwardly.

 

“Yeah,” Alex took a deep breath.

 

“Goodnight, Alex,” Maggie smiled, dimples on full display.

 

Alex stepped a bit closer, noticing the panic in Maggie’s eyes she hugged her slowly, kissing her cheek as she pulled back,” Night Maggie.”

 

She didn’t turn around after that to see the star struck expression on Maggie’s face as she watched her disappear behind the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos are great and comments even better:) for real tho they give me motivation to write faster... just sayin' ;) :D
> 
>  
> 
> also i was thinking if you'd want some smut later on...? i mean... i could try.. no promises tho:D


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some much needed Lucy time

“Bullshit,” Lucy laughed,“there’s no way you were actually pretty smooth.”

Alex glared at her friend, flopping down on the bed beside her, “Thanks for believing in me Luce.”

“Just stating the facts babe,” Lucy shrugged,” And one of said facts is that you’ve got zero fucking game so…”

“Language Lucy,” Alex scolded her friend.

“Sorry, grandma.”

“Come on, Kara is right behind that wall and you know she can’t really turn off her super hearing.”

“Oh shit, yeah, sorry,” Lucy grinned apologetically.

“Lucy!” Alex threw a pillow at her friend.

Lucy threw the pillow right back at Alex,” Sorry… You know I’m still pissed at you right?”

“What for?” Alex asked confused.

“Um, not replying to all the texts I sent you?”

“You can’t be serious, come on,” Alex said, cocking one of her eyebrows,” I told you I couldn’t really reply cause I was-“

“Too busy taking a nap with your wife, yeah I know,” Lucy interrupted her.

“A, stop calling her that, and B,” Alex lowered her voice,” It’s eight fucking am on a Saturday and I’m already up and not because of surfing, so you kinda have no right to be pissed at me.”

“I was  _ dying _ to know…”

Alex laid down, staring at the ceiling with a light frown on her face, “Could it not wait a few more hours?”

“Um, nope?” Lucy looked at her incredulously. “You had a date, and it was a date don’t deny it, with your freaking soulmate and you didn’t even bother to let me know when you got home.”

“I’m sorry,” Alex sighed, throwing an arm over her eyes,” But when I got back I was just so…”

“Giddy with happiness?” Lucy supplied.

Alex lifted her arm a bit to glare at Lucy playfully, “I guess? So I just kind of forgot…”

“Ugh, okay you’re forgiven,” she threw herself on top of Alex.“You’re lucky I love you so much you know, Ally…”

Alex pushed Lucy off of herself, slapping her arm not so lightly,” Fuck off,” she mouthed, showing Lucy both of her middle fingers.

Lucy just looked at her with a shit-eating grin on her face,” Not the least bit sorry, Ally.”

“God I hate you,” Alex rolled her eyes.

“No you don’t,” Lucy grinned. ” Plus you know I’m just,” she lowered her voice,” fucking around with you, right?”

Alex just shook her head at her friend’s antics.

“Really, Alex, I’m happy it went well,” Lucy said sincerely,” I really think that you should tell her…”

“No way,” Alex sat up, looking down at Lucy.

“Alex she  _ obviously _ has a crush on you.”

Alex stood up and started pacing in front of the bed, “I mean, I guess?”

“You guess?” Lucy propped herself up on her elbows,” Alex from what you’ve told me she’s in so deep there’s no saving her. Besides, I might had a  _ talk _ with her best buddy…”

Alex stopped the pacing to look at her friend, “You what?”

Lucy sat up, crossing her legs,” Well, he didn’t really tell me anything, but I just  _ know _ …”

“You still think it might be him?”

“Yeah, I think so.” Lucy scratched at her neck,” I just feel this  _ pull _ towards him…”

“You sure it’s not just those arms?” Alex joked.

Laughing, Lucy shook her head.” I mean, I really do appreciate  _ those arms _ but I just, I don’t know,” she shrugged.

“I think I know what you mean…” biting her cheek nervously she asked,” Do you think, that uh, Maggie feels like that too?”

“Like what?”

“Like that  _ pull _ you feel towards James,” Alex replied,” ‘Cause you know, I hadn’t realized that it was her until I got the mark, but now that I have it I’m just…”

“I mean, maybe,” Lucy nodded,” Might explain that giant crush she has on you, plus whatever she told you it must’ve been some pretty deep dark secret when so little people know, and she told you. After you hung out together for like an hour…”

Alex sat down on the bed, feeling giddy, “You’ve no idea how badly I just wanna tell her.”

She felt the mattress behind her dip, feeling Lucy hug her from behind, “Then why don’t you?”

Alex turned her head to look at Lucy, “Because what if I’m-”

“Not her soulmate? Come on, that’s bullshit. For real Alex, why don’t you tell her?”

“I don’t know, I just, don’t really know her you know,” she said as she started playing with her hands in her lap. “I guess I just wanted to get to know her a bit before telling her? Also wait to see if I’m her soulmate…”

“Okay, look at me,” Lucy gripped Alex by her shoulders and turned her around so she was looking at her, “The wanting to get to know her part is cool, but Alex, you’ve had such a strong bond ever since I can remember, and I don’t think that’s possible if you weren’t her soulmate as well…”

“One question,” said Alex, raising her hand.

“Yes?”

“How the fuck are you so chill about this stuff?” she asked, not even bothering to lower her voice.

Lucy gasped, swatting Alex’s arm playfully,” Language.”

Alex just glared at her best friend, flipping her off.

“Babe you know I’m more chill about literally everything,” Lucy said matter-of-factly.

“But this is different from, I don’t know, drinking or cheating on a damn test Lucy.” Not that Alex Danvers would ever cheat on a test.

Lucy frowned at her friend slightly,” Is it though?”

“Yes!” Alex stood up and started pacing again.

Lucy leaned back on her elbows, watching her friend pace at the foot of her bed,“Okay, how so?”

“Lucy this little tattoo,” Alex pointed to her forearm where Maggie’s name was written in black ink, “Determines who you’re supposed to spend your life with.”

“So?” Lucy shrugged.

“So?” Alex sputtered.

Alex loved the idea of having a soulmate ever since she was a little girl. Growing up, seeing how happy her parents were together, listening to them tell her about how they both had dated other people before they met, and how they just  _ knew _ the instant they laid their eyes on one another. How dating someone who wasn’t your soulmate could be good but nowhere near as good as when your partner was your soulmate.

When her dad passed away almost two years ago Alex felt like she lost her mom too. Eliza didn’t leave her room for days, only eating when Alex brought her some food and forced her to eat it. After almost two weeks Eliza started going to work again. She worked harder than before, pulling longer shifts, sometimes not even coming home in until the next day. As much as it hurt Alex to see her mom like that, and as hard as it was for her to take care of both, Kara and Eliza, not to mention herself, she knew her mom was going through something unexplainable.

Sometimes she would say how she could still feel him sometimes, some days more than others, but she’d dismiss the idea of him being alive right away, claiming that it has to be the same as when you lose a limb and you still feel like you have it.

After almost half a year after her father’s death Alex told her mom she’d never look for her soulmate, not wanting to go through what her mom went through. But Eliza told her that as much as she missed her father, as much as life without him didn’t feel quite complete anymore, every second she had spent with him was worth it, and she wouldn’t change it for anything.

That conversation was the first time her mom really talked to her since her dad’s plane crash. And maybe it was that talk that made Alex promise to herself that when she’d find him, well now she knew it wasn’t a he, she’d do everything not to screw up, to have a beautiful and perfect relationship like her parents did.

Lucy sighed, throwing her legs over the edge of the bed, “Alex, that tattoo may say who’s your perfect match but you don’t really have to spend your life with that person. That’s why I’m so calm, you know I’m not really into the whole concept of soulmates.” Lucy shrugged, “You know, my parents aren’t soulmates, and I know they’re not the greatest example but they make it work.”

“I know Lucy,” Alex nodded, rubbing her eyes,” But you know how I feel about soulmates…”

“I know,” Lucy said as she stood up, walking over to Alex,” And we’re gonna get you your girl okay?”

Alex looked at her friend with a little smile on her lips,” Really?”

“Yeah,” Lucy smiled as Alex threw her hands around her, hugging her tightly.

“Okay but how do you wanna do it?” Alex asked when she pulled back.

“Well, I’d just show her your fuck- sorry,” Lucy grinned apologetically, “Your arm, but you don’t wanna do that?” she checked.

Alex shook her head no,” I don’t want her to be with me just because I have her name written on my arm.”

“Okay but you and I both know that Sawyer has the gayest crush on your nerdy ass, so I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t be with you  _ just  _ because you’re her soulmate,” Lucy pointed out.

“We don’t know that for sure.”

“Don’t we, Ally?” Lucy asked with a shit-eating grin on her face.

“Oh my god,” Alex groaned, throwing herself face first on the mattress. “I’m not telling you anything, like, ever,” she said, her voice muffled by the bed.

“That is, uh, bullcrap, and you know it.”

Alex lifted herself up to look at her friend, a grin spreading across her face,” Lucy Lane, did you just say bullcrap?”

Lucy stuck her tongue out while showing Alex her middle finger,” Not my fault your alien kid sister has super hearing and can’t stand curse words.”

“Okay whatever, so, what’s your grand plan?” Alex sat up, crossing her legs and clasping her hands in her lap.

“Spend as much time as you can with her.”

Alex glared at her friend,” Is that really your genius plan Sherlock? Cause I’m pretty sure I had figured that one out.”

Lucy just flipped her off again, grinning sarcastically, “That’s literally the only thing you can do, besides, ya know, showing her your soulmark.”

Lying down on the bed Alex threw her arm over her eyes,” I can’t ask her to hang out with me every single day Lucy, that would be weird. I don’t even know where I would take her, and we can’t always hang out at each other’s places…”

“Why not?” Lucy asked, earning herself a glare from Alex.

“That would just-”

“Result in the two of you fucking like rabbits? Yeah probably…”

Alex reached for another pillow and threw it at Lucy again, this time actually hitting her, “You’re unbelievable.”

“I’m sorry, I’ll watch my language,” Lucy said with a mockingly sincere look on her face, earning an eye roll from her friend. “You could go surfing?”

“I don’t think Maggie can surf.”

“You could teach her,” Lucy shrugged,” Besides even if she’s extra bad at it, Maggie Sawyer in a bikini must be a sight to behold.”

Alex just gulped, trying to get rid of the visual of Maggie on her surfboard, droplets of water trickling down her bikini clad body.

Lucy grinned but decided not to say anything when Alex snapped out of her daze, glared at her, and threateningly pointed at a pillow that she hadn’t thrown at Lucy yet,” You could invite her to our birthday party,” Lucy offered.

Alex quickly propped herself up on her elbows, cocking one of her eyebrows,” What?”

“Our birthday party Alex, the one we next Saturday? On my birthday?”

“I’m not stupid, but why would I do that? I barely know her.”

“Oh, do you Ally?” Lucy laughed as she barely dodged the pillow that was thrown at her.

“You’re never gonna cut it are you?”

“Nope,” Lucy answered, trying and failing to hide her grin. “Just, invite her, it’s gonna be fun,” Lucy shrugged.

“Yeah what better place to get to know your soulmate than a party, with a houseful of drunk high school kids,” Alex deadpanned.

“Exactly!”

“Lucy, no,” Alex shook her head.

“Lucy, yes,” Lucy grinned as she sat down next to Alex.

“No, there’s no way,” Alex said adamantly.

It was quiet for a while and Alex thought that Lucy had resigned, which was pretty unusual when it came to her friend, but then Lucy broke the silence, “Where’s your phone?”

“On the bedside table,” Alex replied before thinking. When she realized what Lucy wanted to do though, it was too late, her friend had already grabbed her phone, running out of her room and into the bathroom where she locked herself.

“Oh no you didn’t,” Alex grumbled, running after her. She banged on the bathroom door, not even caring about waking up her mom and Kara. “Lucy open the door, or I swear to God you’re a dead girl walking.”

“You’re gonna thank me one day,” she heard Lucy yell from the other side of the door. “She texted you by the way.”

“What? What’d she say?” this only made Alex bang on the door even more. “Open the door Lucy!”

“She said she had a great time last night, and that you should repeat it soon,” Lucy shouted, and Alex heard as she chuckled,” She also sent a winky face, adorable.”

“Give me the phone Lane!”

“Just a second, I’m nearly done typing!”

“I’m gonna murder you!”

Alex heard a door behind her open, looking around she saw her mom, slipping her bathrobe on, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, “Alexandra what’s all the yelling about?”

“I’m sorry mom, I didn’t mean to wake you up…” Alex  smiled apologetically, “It’s just that Lucy-“

“Lucy is doing a great service for your daughter’s love life,” Lucy grinned as she strutted through the bathroom door, handing Alex her phone back, “Morning Eliza, sorry if we woke you up.”

“Oh,” Eliza grinned knowingly at the two girls,” Well thank you Lucy.”

“Mom stop encouraging her,” Alex protested.

“And why would I do that?” Eliza looked at her daughter with the smuggest grin Alex had ever seen on her mom’s face. “How did your date with Maggie go by the way?”

“It wasn’t a date mom,” Alex huffed.

“It went pretty great actually,” Lucy quipped.

“Well, I’d be happy to hear more,” Eliza smiled warmly.

Alex was so damn happy her mom accepted the fact that she was gay so well. Especially knowing what Maggie went through. She just wanted to hug her mom and thank her for being so amazing but now wasn’t the time, now she was sulking over Lucy’s text and her mom’s betrayal.

“What do you girls say I go make us some breakfast and we can talk?” Eliza asked hopefully. Alex knew she didn’t talk to her mom as much as she used to. They’d drifted apart but lately Alex could see how hard her mom was trying to be better.

“Sounds great,” Lucy said, grinning.

Alex looked up at her mom, smiling shyly,” Okay.”

“Very well,” Eliza smiled,” Bacon and eggs?” she asked, earning a nod from both of the girls. “Come down in fifteen minutes okay?”

“Okay, mom,” Alex nodded, smiling at her mom while dragging Lucy back into her room. “What the fuck,” she hissed once they were inside.

“What?” Lucy asked.

“Why on earth would you text Maggie, pretending to be me?” Alex snapped.

Lucy grinned apologetically,” Because I wanted to help you?”

Alex sat down at her desk, cradling her head in her hands,” Oh my god Lucy.”

“She texted you first, she obviously likes you, she said she’d like to hang out with you soon, so I don’t really see what the problem is…”

Alex lifted her head from her hands, glaring at her friend. “I don’t wanna get drunk and do something stupid Lucy,” she whisper-yelled.

“Oh,” Lucy breathed.

“Yeah, oh.”

“Don’t worry I’ll make sure not to leave you alone with her if you’re really drunk,” Lucy promised.

“Oh you better,” Alex snapped,” You’re still dead you know that right?”

“Yes, I love you too babe,” Lucy grinned,” Come on, let’s help Eliza with the breakfast.”

“Fine,” Alex grumbled.

They headed downstairs when Alex felt her phone vibrate in her hand. She looked at the screen just to see a text from Maggie. She couldn’t help the grin that spread across her face.

“Don’t tell me she already replied,” Lucy laughed, shaking her head in disbelief.

“How do you know it’s her?”

“You look like you’ve been shot with a love ray,” they heard Kara mumble as she sleepily shuffled to the two of them.

Lucy nodded, pointing at Kara, “That.”

Alex just shook her head, rolling her eyes at their antics. “You guys go downstairs, I’ll be there in a second.”

Kara and Lucy both exchanged a look before they both started laughing and headed downstairs, Kara almost tripping over herself when she smelled the bacon.

Alex sat down at the top of the staircase and unlocked her phone, reading the text Maggie apparently sent earlier this morning- earlier being six am- and grinned like a fool.

**Sawyer:** I really had a great time yesterday, thanks Danvers. We should hang out again soon… if you want ;)

Then her eyes fell on the text that Lucy sent a few minutes ago.

**Me:** Likewise Sawyer ;) I was actually thinking if you’d like to come to mine and Lucy’s birthday party next Saturday…

Alex was actually impressed how well her best friend knew her, and how she managed to make the text sound so much like her.

**Sawyer:** hmm… I don’t know Danvers… won’t it be awkward? I don’t really know that many people so…

**Me:** well I’m going to be there so… ;)

Alex bit her lip nervously as she watched the three dots pop up immediately, waiting for the reply.

**Sawyer:** aaaand I’m sold ;)

**Me:** cool… ttyl imma eat some breakfast

**Sawyer:** okay Danvers, say hi to kid Danvers from me:)

Alex locked her phone, taking a deep breath before heading downstairs to try and steady herself a bit, but she knew she couldn’t do anything about the big happy grin she had on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kuddos are great and y'all already know that i live for your comments so... :D
> 
> if you want to come say hi on tumblr (peggycarterislife)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> here, have some unnecessary hand holding and some more gay mess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idek what this is but there's some unnecessary hand holding cause i'll never be over the fact that MAGGIE DID NOT HAVE TO HOLD ALEX'S HAND IN 2x04
> 
> anyways i wrote this on like 2 hours of sleep so i apologize if it's shit..:D

“I have to tell her,” Alex sighed as she sat down on one of the stools by the kitchen counter.

In the past week she spent a lot of time with Maggie, getting to know her. They sat together during lunch breaks, walked each other to the class, and Maggie even joined them for their movie night with Kara yesterday.

And Alex was just absolutely crazy about the girl.

The things that she felt when she was around Maggie, well, she’d never felt anything like that before. When Maggie’s hand brushed against hers accidentally her heart almost jumped out of her chest, the way she tilted her head made Alex melt, and her smile, her smile, well, Alex was pretty sure that Maggie’s smile was the most beautiful thing in the multiverse.

She loved spending time with her. Talking to Maggie was just so easy, it came so naturally that it sometimes felt like they’d been friends forever.

But being around her got harder and harder since all Alex could think about was kissing those dimples, those  _ damn perfect _ lips. All she wanted to do was to hold her hand, not just to hope for those accidental brushes. She wanted to be able to hold her while watching a movie instead of having Kara sit between them.

So yeah, Alex was pretty sure she’d combust if she didn’t tell Maggie soon.

“Then do,” Lucy shrugged, unwrapping a pack of plastic solo cups and placing them on the counter.

The party was at Alex’s place. Eliza was gone for the weekend for some conference and she agreed to let the girls have the party as long as they have adult supervision and don’t drink any alcohol.

Luckily Lucy’s older sister, Lois, and Kara’s cousin Clark were in town for a few days and they promised they'd look after them. Eliza was thrilled since she knew Lois from when used to babysit Alex, she was always the responsible Lane sister. And Clark was family, plus there was no way anything could go wrong on superman’s watch.

Well, the responsible Lane sister and her boyfriend were just now unloading all the alcohol they helped them get from her car.

And when it comes to the alcohol, Alex reassured herself with what Lucy said, what the eye doesn’t see, the heart doesn’t grieve over.

Plus Kara was at Winn’s for their annual Star Wars marathon night so all Alex had to worry about was someone breaking something. And she didn’t really worry about that, having superman as her personal bouncer. 

“Mom always says I’m not good at keeping secrets about myself,” Alex leaned against the counter, burying her face in her hands,” Oh god, how I hate when she’s right.”

Lucy came up to her friend, patting her shoulder,” Listen, Maggie is absolutely  _ crazy  _ about you. She’ll be thrilled.”

Alex looked up at her,” How can you be so sure?”

“I’ve seen the way she looks at you, plus Maggie Sawyer made only two friends in over two years at our school and one of them is your little miss sunshine sister who’s friends with literally everyone,” Lucy said,” She’s known you for like a week and she tells you basically everything.”

Alex ran her hand through her hair, sitting up straight, “I guess you’re right…”

“Of course I am,” Lucy grinned.

“Okay,” Alex took a deep, steadying breath,” I’ll tell her tonight.”

Lucy grinned proudly, patting her on the back,” Atta girl, Ally.”

Alex buried her face in her hands, groaning,” Oh my god, are you ever gonna stop?”

Lucy pretended to give it a thought before shaking her head, “Nope.”

“I hate you.”

“I know for a fact that that’s bullshit,” Lucy said, earning herself a glare from her best friend. “Could you maybe wait a bit with telling Maggie?”

Alex sat up, frowning, “What do you mean?”

“Just wait till after midnight? Just so you’re there when I get my soulmate mark…”

“Why wouldn’t I be there if I told Maggie before that?”

“Cause you for sure are gonna go to your room and fu-“

“Hey, language,” Lois said as she walked into the kitchen, Clark in tow, both carrying some alcohol and snacks.

“Says the person who just bought alcohol for a minor,” Lucy deadpanned.

“You know how the Kryptonians get when you swear around them,” she shrugged, pointing at Clark.

Lucy huffed out a laugh, shaking her head,” Fair enough. Anyways,” she turned back to Alex, “What I was saying earlier.”

“Okay so a, yes of course I’ll be there with you, and b, we would  _ so  _ not do  _ that _ ,” Alex gestured her hands vaguely, her cheeks reddening, “We’ve only known one another for like a week.”

Lucy looked like she was about to make some “witty” retort but Lois spoke up first, her face lighting up, “Does little Alex Danvers  _ like  _ someone?

“You’ve no idea,” Lucy answered instead of Alex with a grin on her face which only earned her another glare from her friend, which apparently only spurred her to go on. She leaned in closer to her sister, fake whispering, “This one’s so dense that she didn’t know it was her soulmate till she got the mark.”

Lois laughed, shaking her head at her sister’s antics,” Oh cut her some slack Luce, everyone’s soulmate bond is different.” She pushed her younger sister away from where she was standing and leaned against the counter, “Tell me about them, and don’t spare a single detail.”

Alex smiled at the use of natural pronouns and pulled the sleeve of her dad’s old, worn out flannel up to show Lois the name, Maggie’s name, on her forearm, noticing how Lois’s expression didn’t change one bit when she saw that it was a girl’s name,” I don’t think we have time for  _ everything  _ now, cause really, she’s pretty awesome,” Alex chuckled.

“Well duh, she’s your soulmate so of course she’s awesome,” Lois interrupted her, smiling warmly at her.

Alex chuckled at the comment, clearing her throat before speaking again, “But we have like half an hour so I’ll tell you as much as I can, and then I could maybe introduce you later?”

“Yeah I think I’d like that,” Lois smiled, moving to sit on the stool beside Alex.

~~~

She was standing on the doorstep of Alex’s house, wringing her hands nervously and trying to get herself to knock. After all it wasn’t such a hard thing to do, was it?

Okay maybe it was a pretty hard thing to do. Because knocking on that door meant having it opened by a beautiful and smiling Alex Danvers which would lead to Maggie turning into a stammering mess as she often did around her friend.

Her friend.

_ Just a friend and nothing more, _ she kept reminding herself.

But looking at Alex Danvers as just a friend was so damn hard with the pull Maggie felt towards her. With the way her heart leaped every time Alex smiled, or the butterflies she felt in her stomach anytime Alex got that cute little crinkle between her eyes when she was concentrating on something extra hard, the way her breath hitched at the slightest of touches, or the way she felt liquid heat pool down in her stomach when she imagined Alex on her surfboard…

She shook her head to clear it out.

Just friends.

Even after that evening at her place where they fell asleep cuddling. Even though Maggie felt like Alex always lingered a little longer while hugging her than what would be deemed a friendly hug-not that Maggie minded-and hugged her a little tighter than a friend, burying her face in the crook of Maggie’s neck. Even though she had caught Alex staring at her lips, biting her own, making Maggie choke on thin air.

Just friends.

Alex had a soulmate after all. And as sick as Maggie felt at the thought of Alex being with someone else, she wanted nothing more than for Alex to be happy. So if that meant only being Alex’s friend Maggie would only be her friend. She was pretty sure she’d walk through hell for that girl. And Maggie knew her fair share about hell.

_ Okay, get your shit together, Sawyer. _

Maggie took one last deep breath and knocked on the door, hearing footsteps from the other side a few moments later. She heard as the door unlocked and looked up, expecting to see Alex’s smiling face only to see that her friend wasn’t the one who opened the door. Instead she was greeted by a grinning Lucy Lane.

“Maggie,” she greeted, her grin growing even bigger, “Come on in.”

“Hey Lucy,” Maggie smiled as she shuffled inside awkwardly, noticing that there was no other people, “Am I early?”

“Yes, Alex will be thrilled,” Lucy nodded, adding that everyone’s actually late when she saw the flash of panic in Maggie’s eyes.

“Okay then,” Maggie offered her a shy smile.

“Take off your shoes, please, there’s gonna be a fuck load of people and God knows what shit some people have on their shoes,” Lucy laughed, “Alex is upstairs in her room, I believe you know where that is.” Lucy winked at her and then disappeared in the direction of the kitchen.

Maggie took off her shoes, placing them aside, and made her way up the staircase. She knew where Alex’s room was because she was here yesterday when Kara invited her for a movie night with her and Alex, and she and Alex hung out in her room while they waited forKara to finish an article for the school paper.

She knocked on the door and heard Alex yell for her to come in, so she did, closing the door behind her.

“Since when do you knock?” she heard her laugh, and then she saw her walk out of the closet, and nearly got an aneurysm because Alex fucking Danvers was standing in front of her, well, shirtless.

Maggie’s brain short-circuited, jaw dropping, as she started choking on thin air. She knew Alex was in a good shape, hell she did feel her abs through her shirt when she basically slept on top of Alex last week at her place, but nothing could prepare her for the visual.

For the expanse of Alex’s smooth skin, the definition of her abs, and as her eyes traveled higher, the soft curve of Alex’s breasts in  _ that _ bra.

Maggie was pretty sure she was dead and somehow got to heaven.

“I thought you were Lucy,” Alex was the first to speak up, covering her forearm rather than, well, the rest. She didn’t even move to grab a shirt and Maggie could swear she saw a light smirk on her friend’s face.

Maggie’s brain seemed to snap back, she quickly turned around, trying to get her mouth to cooperate, “I’m so sorry Danvers, I should’ve said it was me when I knocked on the door.”

“It’s okay,” Alex reassured her.

_ Like fuck it’s okay _ .

Maggie was certain that she wouldn’t get that picture out of her brain for a very,  _ very _ long time.

“I’m decent,” she heard her say after a while.

“I’m really sorry,” she said once more as she turned back around, noticing Alex had put on a long-sleeved black and grey baseball shirt.

“Maggie I wasn’t naked, it’s okay,” Alex smiled at her warmly and Maggie fought to get the image of a very naked Alex Danvers out of her mind.

“Right, yeah, but still…”

“Don’t worry about it,” Alex said as she moved to push up her sleeves before thinking better of it.

“It’s a pretty shit place for a soulmate mark, isn’t it?” Maggie asked, pointing at her arm.

“For now,” Alex nodded, “At least people will know I’m hers… As cheesy as that sounds.”

_ Hers. _

Maggie’s stomach dropped at that, she forced herself to smile, praying that Alex didn’t notice the momentary falter in her expression, “When are you going to tell her?”

“Tonight, actually,” Alex breathed, a hopeful smile etched on her lips.

“Oh, wow.”

“Yeah, I’m really nervous,” Alex admitted, sitting down on her bed.

Maggie moved to sit beside her, placing her hand on Alex’s back to calm her friend a little bit, “Alex you’re amazing, you’ve nothing to be nervous about.”

“You really think so?” Alex asked in a small voice.

“Yep,” Maggie nodded.

“Thanks Maggie,” Alex sighed, resting her head against Maggie’s shoulder, making her feel those  _ damn _ butterflies again.

Maggie pulled back after a while, needing to cheer Alex up a bit, to see that smile that she loved so much. “Plus if she hurts you then she’ll have these to deal with,” she said, flexing her arms and laughing.

She didn’t miss the way Alex’s eyes went wide when she looked at her flexed biceps, or the blush that was slowly making its way up Alex’s cheeks, or the way she had to gulp and clear her throat before speaking, and in a better world Maggie would maybe let herself hope that it was her after all.

But this wasn’t a better world. In this world Maggie would be convinced she doesn’t even have a soulmate if their bond wasn’t so damn strong, and she couldn't feel them.

Alex laughed, clearing her throat once more, “Well, thank you officer.”

Maggie laughed, standing up from the bed, grabbing Alex’s hand. She didn’t really know why she took Alex’s hand into hers.

_ Friends do hold hands, right? _

Alex didn’t seem to mind though, intertwining her fingers with Maggie’s as if it were the most natural thing and Maggie felt her heart leap.

“Come on Danvers, let’s party,” she tugged on her hand, leading her downstairs, their fingers entwined the whole way, Maggie’s heart hammering in her chest like crazy.

She didn’t know what was happening with her soulmate, but she could feel the giddy excitedness through the soul bond, something akin to what she was feeling. She hoped that they were enjoying it at least half as much as she was.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos are great and your comments make me write faster;) :D
> 
> i'll try to write the next chapters when i'm not sleep deprived i swear.. even tho i don't think i'm ever not sleep deprived.. anyways, let me know what you guys think! 
> 
> if you wanna talk to me hmu on tumblr (peggycarterislife)


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> does she finally tell her? who knows, not me, okay i do but you gotta read it if you wanna find out;) :D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so heeeere we go, i wanted to post this yesterday but my laptop restarted and the whole chapter just got deleted and i nearly died... but here it is now, even though it's not the same thing (i can't write the same thing twice idk why *shrugs*) but here have 4000 words of gay nonsense:)
> 
> anyways, I was trying to reply to your comments but I just gave up after answering like 5 or so because I'm really fucking awkward okay? :D i'm sorry.... if you wanna talk to me tho you can hmu on tumblr:) (peggycarterislife) i swear i'll reply. :D

They weren’t drunk. They were just a bit tipsy.

 

When Maggie dragged her down to the kitchen, insisting on getting the party started- Lois just gave Alex a knowing look as soon as she saw her getting dragged into the kitchen with a dopey smile on her face- they all had a round of shots.

 

Then as the people started to arrive they both took a cup of beer, which they drank fairly quickly.

 

Now they were on their second beer and Lois was pretty much giving Maggie a shovel talk.

 

And maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was the fact that Lois was acting like she was her big sister, as if she was back in kindergarten, or maybe it was the fact that Maggie was sitting right next to her, with practically no space between them, basically leaning against her, but Alex felt really content and happy for the first time in what felt like ages.

 

“So your aunt’s a cop?” Lois kept on questioning Maggie.

 

Maggie nodded, taking a sip of her beer, “Yep.”

 

“Okay so I believe you know how to behave yourself?” she asked, receiving a confused look from Maggie, “I mean, you’re one of the “good kids” right?”

 

“I, uh, think so?” Maggie replied as she took another sip of her beer, shooting Alex a panicked look.

 

“Good, cause you know, I, uh,” Lois leaned closer to Maggie, lowering her voice, “I know superman, and I’d really hate to have him throw you into the space,” this earned her a snort from Clark, which he quickly tried to cover up as a cough.

 

Maggie’s eyes went almost comically big, “You know superman?”

 

Lucy nodded her head, “Not the point here, kid. The point is that if you hurt my baby sister’s best friend, I’ll personally pick the star you’ll end up in understood?”

 

Maggie just nodded slowly, staring at Alex with panicked eyes, “He wouldn’t throw you into the space for real, don’t worry,” Alex patted her knee, taking a long drink from her beer.

 

“Oh he would,” Lois protested, “Doesn’t matter you’re-“

 

Alex nearly choked on her drink when she heard what Lois was about to say, but thankfully she managed to recover quickly enough to cut her off just in time, “Oh, uh, don’t you want a refill, Maggie?”

 

“Doesn’t matter I’m what?” Maggie asked, putting up a finger to tell Alex to wait.

 

Alex shot Lois a warning glare which was clearly received and Lois managed not to let it show as she quickly uttered, “That you’re a cop’s kid.”

 

Alex was for sure going to kill her. She was sitting on the sofa, breathing heavily, as if she was about to get a heart attack, and honestly, feeling like she was actually having one.

 

Maybe she should really wait a month and see if she’s Maggie’s soulmate. Maggie would tell her right?

 

Because it was still two hours till midnight but Alex was already so nervous, she felt like she was going to be sick.

 

In the past two hours she’s contemplated all the possible outcomes both telling and not telling Maggie could have, and honestly whatever conclusion she came to she always felt like not telling her was the better option.

 

But then Maggie would laugh or lean against her or even take her hand- which was new but Alex wasn’t complaining- and Alex was reminded of how it felt when she was keeping it from her, like she was going to combust if she didn’t tell her right that instant.

 

So she vowed herself that she’d tell her tonight. No matter what,she wouldn’t back out of it.

 

She quickly finished her drink, and got up from the couch, missing Maggie’s warmth instantly, “I’m gonna get myself another one,” she said pointing to the cup in her hand.

 

“Okay, I’ll go with you,” Maggie shot up of the couch, following Alex to the kitchen, neither of them bothering to turn around when they heard Lois saying something.

 

Once they walked into the kitchen and Alex noticed there was no one there- almost everyone was in the backyard by the pool because of Lucy’s rules about no shoes in the house- she leaned against the kitchen island, letting out a long sigh. “God, I’m so sorry for,” she made a vague gesture with her hand, “whatever that was.”

 

“I, uh, what exactly was that?” Maggie asked, leaning against the other side of the island, looking at Alex with a tilted head and a really cute frown and Alex was glad she was leaning against something because her knees went weak at the sight.

 

“I’ve honestly no idea.”

 

“For some reason it felt an awful lot like a shovel talk…” Maggie trailed off.

 

Alex let out a nervous laugh, scratching at the back of her neck. “Did it?”

 

“Danvers I’m pretty sure it was one,” Maggie said confidently, even though Alex could see it in her eyes, damn it, she could _feel_ how nervous Maggie was.

 

Alex looked down, playing with the rim of her plastic cup, avoiding Maggie’s eyes. She cleared her throat before asking in the smallest voice, “Really?”

 

“Do you wanna tell me why your best friend’s sister would give me a shovel talk?” Maggie asked, answering Alex’s question with her question.

 

Alex gulped and looked up at Maggie, her eyes so open, so vulnerable.

 

This was most definitely not how she imagined doing it. And Lucy _needs_ her to be there when she gets her soulmate mark, and part of Alex just _knows_ that Lucy’s right, that when she tells Maggie, she’s not gonna be able to leave, even if it would be just for a couple of minutes.

 

But Maggie was looking at her with those gorgeous brown eyes, clenching her jaw, waiting for Alex to say something, looking at her intently, refusing to back down, Alex was pretty sure it was the alcohol that gave Maggie the extra bit of courage. Although she did take her hand when she was sober.

 

 Maybe Maggie could feel it too. That irresistible pull that Alex did. The one that made the kitchen island between them seem like an incredible distance. The one that made Alex’s heart race, and blood flood with adrenaline. The one that made it almost impossible for Alex not to stare hungrily at her friend, but at the same time, made looking at her seem like the hardest thing.

 

 _Well, now is as good of a time as any Danvers,_ she thought, licking her lips and clearing her throat once more. Even though it wasn’t because Maggie deserved it to be perfect. Not just drunkenly blurted out over a kitchen island at a party, when anyone could walk in at any second.

 

They were both staring at one another, and Alex was just so damn sure Maggie _knew_. She had to. There was no way she’d look at her the way she was if she didn’t, daring her to speak.

 

“Hey guys, what’s up?” a familiar voice pulled Alex out of her little staring contest with Maggie, making her groan before she turned around to greet whoever had interrupted them.

 

Her groan must’ve been pretty loud though because when she turned around she found James with his arms raised and an apologetic grin on his face, “Did I just interrupt something important?”

 

Alex shook her head no while Maggie nodded, glaring at her best friend, “Kinda, Jimmy.”

 

“I’m so sorry, I’m gonna go, I’ll let you guys get back to whatever you were talking about,” he said as he turned to leave, pointing at the door.

 

“Nah, don’t go. We can talk later,” Maggie said, looking directly at Alex.

 

Alex felt her heart start beating even faster, if that was possible, at the thought of having to gather the courage to tell her one more time.

 

At least she could do it properly.

 

Well, as properly as one could at a damn party, but still, she wouldn’t tell it to Maggie over the kitchen island when they were both tiptoeing the line between drunk and just tipsy.

 

She swallowed, nodding her head ever so slightly, if Maggie wasn’t watching her so intently she wouldn’t have noticed.

 

Alex glanced at Maggie’s friend, who was still hovering by the door, offering him a smile, “Come on, have a drink with us James.”

 

James walked over to them, sitting on one of the high stools by the counter, “Actually, I don’t drink, but I can still grace you with my presence.”

 

“We’re honored,” Maggie said with a serious face, raising her cup towards James before taking a sip. “Want me to get that refill for you?” she asked Alex.

 

Alex thought it through quickly, Maggie deserved everything, perfection, and she deserved Alex to be sober when she tells her. So as much as Alex hated herself in that moment, knowing she’ll be in desperate need of some liquid courage, she shook her head, “No, thanks, I uh, I’d like to sober up for, uh…”

 

“For telling your lady, right,” Maggie nodded, taking a long drink from her beer, “I’m gonna get me some more.”

 

“Your lady?” James frowned.

 

“Oh, shit,” Maggie froze on the spot, “I’m so sorry Danvers, I just kind of, didn’t think… Oh my god, okay… No more alcohol for me,” she said placing her cup on the counter and pushing it away. “I’m so, so sorry Al, I really didn’t mean to-“  


“Hey, it’s okay,” Alex smiled at her softly, turning to look at James, “She meant my soulmate, who happens to be a girl.”

 

James nodded his head slowly, looking at Maggie with a cocked eyebrow and an expression that even Alex knew meant, _I fucking told you so._

 

He looked back at Alex, giving her a shiny smile, “So, you’re gonna tell her she’s your soulmate tonight?”

 

“Yeah, I, uh, that’s what I wanna do,” Alex laughed nervously. “I mean, if I get the courage…”

 

“Well, wow, I haven’t told mine yet,” James said, “I’m kinda waiting for her to get her mark as well, ya know, just to be sure…”

 

Alex nodded slowly, taking a deep breath, “Yeah, I uh, wanted to do that too,” she admitted, “But I, the waiting’s killing me, man. And I’m pretty sure that if I don’t tell her soon I’m gonna die…”

 

James laughed, shaking his head, “Well then good luck with telling her.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

Maggie was silent while Alex and James talked, staring at the counter, until she finally spoke up, “Is she here already?”  

 

Alex turned to look at her, noting the almost empty expression Maggie had on her face, and her heart broke. She wanted to tell her right then and there, Lucy be damned, but she also wanted them both to sober up a bit so she just took a deep breath and nodded her head, “Yeah.”

 

“You should go hang out with her, Danvers,” Maggie said, still staring at the same spot on the counter.

 

“Nah,” she waved her hand dismissively, “I wanna be with you, uh, guys.”

 

_Smooth Danvers, real smooth._

They just sat in silence for a while, Maggie still staring at the counter, jaw clenched, and Alex looking at her, her heart breaking.

“I actually wanted to go find Lucy,” James said, breaking the silence.

 

Alex tore her eyes away from Maggie to look at him, “I think she’s outside by the pool with some of the football players that she invited God knows why…”

 

She saw a glimmer of jealousy in James’s eyes and she’d feel happy for her friend if she didn’t have a… situation of her own.

 

“Okay I’m gonna, uh, I’m gonna go see her, and wish her happy birthday,” he said, getting up from the bar stool he walked over to Alex. “Happy birthday to you too, Alex,” he smiled, giving her a hug.

 

“Thanks, James.”

 

When he left Alex turned around to look at Maggie who was finally looking at her, “Do you wanna go outside or-“

 

“I need to know Alex,” she blurted out, clenching her jaw.

 

Alex’s heartbeat quickened, she licked her lips before nodding, “Okay.”

 

Maggie swallowed, “Okay?”

 

“Yeah, wait for me in my room? I just need to talk to Lucy real quick.

 

“Okay,” Maggie said, her voice small and quiet, as she walked past Alex and out of the kitchen.

 

_Well, fuck._

 

~ ~ ~

 

She found Lucy sitting by the pool, swinging her legs in the water, all the jocks trying to show off, doing flips as they jumped into the pool, but she only seemed to have eyes for James who was sat beside her, talking to her.

 

Alex’s heart warmed at the sight and she hated to interrupt them but she just _had_ _to_ talk to her friend.

She kneeled down beside her, poking her into the shoulder to get her attention, “Hey, Luce.”

 

“Oh, hey babe, where’s Maggie?” she asked, her eyebrow cocked and a smirk growing on her lips.

 

“Uh, she’s waiting for me in my room.”

 

Lucy’s eyes grew wide, “That’s not the answer I was expecting but, uh, way to go my friend.”

 

“Not like that come on,” Alex slapped her on the shoulder, “You know me.”

 

“Okay, fine,” Lucy sighed, “You’re doing one shit of a job trying to hide how panicked you are by the way, so what’s wrong?”

 

“She said,” Alex looked at James, smiling apologetically before dropping her voice and leaning closer to Lucy so only she would hear her, “She said we need to talk.”

 

“Oh, wow,” Lucy gasped, “That is, uh, scary.”

 

Alex glared at her friend, “Really not helping me there, Luce.”

 

“I’m sorry, I just, when someone tells you that you need to talk it never means anything good…”

 

“She didn’t exactly say ‘we need to talk’,” Alex said, “She said, ‘I need to know, Alex’.”

 

“Oh, okay,” Lucy nodded, “Still scary, but less so… So what did you want from me? Want me to give you _the_ talk? Cause honestly, I’ll need to have a word with Eliza if that’s the case.”

 

Alex rubbed her eyes with her hand, frustrated with her friend, “Oh my god, can you not?”

 

“I’m sorry, I promise I’ll cut the teasing,” she said, “For now.”

 

Alex just shook her head at her friend’s antics. “I just came to tell you that I’m gonna tell her, and to knock before entering my room,” Alex said as a blush creeped up her face, “Not that I plan to, uh, you know, but just in case.”

 

“Okay,” Lucy nodded, and Alex could see how hard it was for her best friend to keep her mouth shut.

 

Alex moved to stand up looking at her friend with a smile on her face, “Oh, and, uh, if you don’t have to, don’t go into my room.”

 

Lucy gave her a look and Alex knew she’d never let her live this down.

 

“You know that if you’re not with me at midnight I’m gonna murder you,” Lucy called after her as she was walking away. “My mom’s a top notch lawyer Alex, I’m gonna get away with it!”

 

“Don’t worry,” Alex called back, “Wouldn’t miss it for the world!”

 

~ ~ ~

 

The way to her room seemed like it lasted forever and no time at all at the same time. Her heart hammering like crazy, blood rushing in her ears, palms sweaty.

 

The only good thing about how nervous she was, was the fact that it made her sober up really quickly. And as happy as she was about that, she also wished for some liquid courage because she was really going to tell Maggie Sawyer, the incredible girl who was waiting for her in her room, that she’s her soulmate.

 

She was really about to do it.

 

And as nervous as she was, she was so very excited to finally be doing this.

 

She knocked on the door of her room softly, before opening it and walking in. Her bedside lamp was on, throwing soft yellow light over the room.

 

She looked around the room, noticing that Maggie wasn’t there and she felt her stomach sink.

 

“Maggie?” she called out, but no reply came. Well of course, the room was empty after all.

 

Alex felt her knees starting to tremble so she sat down at the edge of her bed, burying her face in her hands.

 

Her mind was racing. Her heart was still beating like crazy but it wasn’t because of the giddy happiness like before.

 

Maggie left. She left her before Alex even told her.

 

Alex felt like she was going to cry but no tears were coming.

 

She wished Kara was there, so she could hold her while she waited for the tears to come, so she could break down in her little sister’s arms.

 

“What was I thinking,” she huffed out loud, before standing up and walking over to the door.

 

_Might as well drink my sorrows away, right?_

 

As she reached for the door handle the door swung open and Alex stood face to face with Maggie. Her body immediately flooding with relief.

 

“Going somewhere, Danvers?”

 

“I thought you’d left,” she breathed as she moved aside so Maggie could walk in.

 

Maggie looked up at her, searching in her eyes. “I’d never do that to you,” she said, offering Alex a weak smile. “Just needed to use the bathroom, too much beer…” Maggie huffed out a laugh, and Alex knew she was trying to lighten up the mood.

 

Alex smiled back at her, before clearing her throat and walking over to the bed because her knees felt like they were gonna give out again. “So what’d you wanna talk about?” she asked, immediately slapping herself mentally for playing dumb.

 

Of course she knew what Maggie wanted to talk about, what Maggie _needed to know._ But she just couldn’t bring herself to get the words out. Her mouth felt weirdly dry, and her head felt all fuzzy but she knew it wasn’t the alcohol.

 

“I think you know,” Maggie took a deep breath, running her hand through her hair, “Look, Alex, I’m not stupid. I know you, the only person, besides little Danvers, you ever hang out with is Lucy, yet you spent every day this week with me,” Maggie smiled softly.

 

All Alex managed to do was nod as Maggie started pacing in front of her.

 

“And I don’t know if I’m making this stuff up, but sometimes I just feel like, you look at me like,” Maggie stopped her pacing to look at Alex, “Yeah, just like that…”

 

“Maggie, I…”

 

“And sometimes when we’re talking, and correct me if I’m wrong, but I can see your eyes flit to my lips,” Alex felt her eyes fall to Maggie’s lips when she said that, not even bothering to be subtle about it anymore.

 

“And I just, feel so fucking comfortable around you, Danvers, Ally,” Maggie confessed and Alex could see how she was fighting tears.

 

Alex couldn’t be bothered to fight her own tears, letting them roll down her cheeks, smiling at the nickname Maggie had only used once before, when she was half asleep, clinging to her body, not wanting to let go of her.

 

“Plus, Lucy’s teasing isn’t really subtle,” Maggie laughed a bit even as a few tears managed to escape from her eyes.

 

Alex laughed as well, wiping her cheeks, “It really isn’t, is it?”

 

Maggie shook her head, walking over to where Alex was sat on the bed, and stopped right in front of her. “I didn’t want to believe it, because you’re way too good for me, I don’t deserve you,” Maggie put up a finger to stop Alex from protesting, “Good things just don’t happen to me, Alex.”

 

Alex could feel her heart break, seeing Maggie’s expression when she said those last few words, looking utterly broken.

 

“But when I walked in on you today, and you covered your arm rather than, uh, the rest, and when Lois gave me that shovel talk, and when you said you’d rather be with me than spending some time with your soulmate,” Maggie took a deep breath, “I might not think I deserve you Alex Danvers, but I am not stupid.”

 

Sitting down, Alex was shorter than Maggie, so she was looking up at her, tears rolling down both of their faces, and as much as Alex wanted to say something, _needed_ to say something, she couldn’t get her mouth to work.

 

“I’m so gonna regret this if I’m wrong, although I’m quite sure I’m not,” Maggie wiped her tears away, “Can you roll up you sleeve for me, Danvers?”

 

Alex nodded her head, taking a ragged breath, she slowly pulled her sleeve up, looking at Maggie the whole time, and she extended her arm in front of her so Maggie could read her own name.

 

Alex’s heart leaped as she watched Maggie’s expression go from hopeful to amazed to incredibly soft and loving.

 

Maggie traced the letters of her name on Alex’s arm with her fingers, looking up to meet Alex’s eyes, “It’s you.”

 

Maggie’s eyes flooded with fresh tears as she smiled her big dimpled smile, “How would you feel if I, uh, well, I, God I’m a mess,” Maggie shook her head, laughing a little, she looked back into Alex’s eyes, “I really wanna kiss you.”

 

Alex nodded her head ever so slightly before Maggie was standing between her legs, leaning down and cupping her face, stopping mere inches before kissing Alex, leaning her forehead against the other girl’s as if to calm herself down a bit. 

 

And Alex was grateful for that little pause because her heart felt like it was going to jump out of her chest, and the whole moment was starting to feel like one huge blur and she _needed_ to remember every single second of this.

 

But then they both surged forward at the same time, their lips meeting in the softest kiss, and Alex felt like she was having an aneurysm.

 

Everything about the kiss was perfect, Maggie’s soft lips moving gently against hers, Maggie’s fingers that moved to tangle in her hair, even the awkward angle they had because Alex was sitting on the bed, and the way she tasted like beer.

 

Once they pulled apart Maggie rested her forehead against Alex’s, breathing out a sigh of relief, “You’ve no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do _that_.”

 

“We have like an hour till midnight,” Alex said glancing at her alarm clock, “I’ll have to go find Lucy before she gets her soulmate mark, but we can do _that_ till then… If you want to of course.”

 

Maggie pulled back to look at her, a big dimpled smile on her face, “There’s nothing I’d like to do more, Alex.”

 

“Good,” Alex grinned, “Maybe, we uh, I don’t know, maybe we could, uh-“

 

“Lie down?” Maggie suggested, tilting her head “How are you so incredibly cute when you’re all flustered?”

 

Alex felt a blush make its way up her cheeks, biting her lip nervously, not missing the way Maggie’s pupils seemed to dilate at the action. “Uh, yeah, we could maybe lie down,” she nodded, “It’s gonna be more comfortable, ya know.”

 

“Uhm,” Maggie hummed as she pecked Alex’s lips, before Alex shuffled back on the bed, leaning back against the headboard.

 

Maggie followed right after, but instead of sitting next to her, like Alex thought she would, she swung one of her legs across Alex’s waist and straddled her.

 

“This okay?” she asked when she saw Alex’s eyes grow wide.

 

Alex brushed Maggie’s hair out of her face and tucked it behind her ears gently. “It’s perfect,” she breathed before pulling Maggie down into another kiss, almost dying at the sound that came out of Maggie’s mouth when Alex licked her lower lip.

 

Alex couldn’t believe it. She was laying in her bed, with Maggie fucking Sawyer, who also happened to be her soulmate, straddling her. Their fingers tangled in each other's hair.

 

And they were kissing.

 

And God, fuck, was it perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soooo? thoughts? :D
> 
> kuddos are awesome but it's your comments that give me the inspiration and keep me writing;)
> 
> i wanna hear all of your opinions/suggestions! leave them down in the comments or come talk to me on tumblr:) (yooidontevenknow)


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> idek but it's pretty gay tbh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sooo i know it took me longer than it usually does to update and i'm really sorry, idk why it took me so long but tbh writing this was such an agony... so i hope you'll enjoy?? :D

They were laying on the bed, Maggie wrapped around Alex’s body, face buried in the crook of her neck, their legs entwined. And if it were anyone else, even her little sister, Alex would tell them to get their face out of there because she was just so damn ticklish. But Maggie’s nose buried in her neck didn’t make her want to squirm away, it felt actually kind of perfect.

But as Alex had learned, everything felt just so perfect and right with Maggie.

They had to take a break from their make out session because it frankly started getting a little out of hand.

Maggie had slipped one of her thighs between Alex’s legs, subconsciously grinding against the other girl’s thigh. When Alex realized what was happening she let out a low moan and ground her hips up into Maggie’s, but then they both seemed to freeze, both of them agreeing that that was just too much, too fast, too soon.

So that’s how they found themselves tangled in each other’s arms, Alex playing with Maggie’s hair as the other girl traced her own name on Alex’s other arm.

“What are you thinking about?” Alex asked, breaking the comfortable silence.

Maggie chuckled softly, “Cheesy stuff…”

“Hmm,” Alex kissed the top of Maggie’s head, feeling her stomach flutter because she  _ could do that now _ . “Care to share?”

“I just, can’t believe that this is really happening,” Maggie whispered.

“Me neither.”

Maggie propped herself up on one elbow, looking down at Alex as she brushed a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “I can’t believe that it really  _ is  _ you.”

Alex looked away and bit her cheek, trying not to let herself think about what she’ll do if she’s not Maggie’s soulmate.

Maggie put two fingers under Alex’s chin, gently turning her so she would face her, “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“What if,” Alex gulped, trying to keep her lip from trembling, her voice from shaking as she looked into Maggie’s eyes, “What if it’s not me though?”

Maggie frowned, “What do you mean?”

Alex nudged Maggie gently so she could sit up. “What I mean, is that you’re my soulmate,” she smiled softly, when she saw the sparkle in Maggie’s eyes as a dimpled smile appeared on her lips, even though her throat was burning as she tried to hold back tears, “But what if I’m not yours?”

“Alex,” Maggie started as she sat up as well, moving so close to Alex that she was sitting in her lap, “I  _ know _ you are.”

Alex let her hands fall to Maggie’s thighs where she traced absent-minded circles with her thumbs, “But what if I’m not? You know it’s not that uncommon…”

“Al, I just  _ know,  _ okay?” Maggie placed her hands on Alex’s, offering her a gentle smile, “I can feel it, feel you, through the soul bond.”

“How can you be so sure it’s me?” Alex asked in a small voice.

“I don’t know, I just know it. It’s as simple as breathing,” Maggie shrugged, “Looking back, I could always feel you so strongly through the bond…”

Alex took her hands from under Maggie’s and started playing with them nervously, “Yeah well, you know there are some cases when the person’s soulmate could feel them through the bond even though the person they could feel was not their soulmate. It’s actually not even that rare, I’ve read this one-“

She was suddenly cut off by Maggie’s lips on hers, and as much as she hated when people didn’t let her finish talking, she didn’t really mind this.

“Nerd,” Maggie chuckled as she pulled back.

“Just stating the facts.”

“That’s exactly what nerds do, Danvers.”

Alex just rolled her eyes, a soft smile starting to grow on her lips, “Whatever.”

They sat there in silence for a while, looking at one another, Alex chewing on the inside of her cheek.

Alex was the first one to break the silence, “It just scares me, you know?”

“Hey,” Maggie pulled her to her chest, one hand on Alex’s back, drawing soothing circles, the other finding its way into Alex’s hair, “My birthday is exactly in twenty-eight days, and I know it seems like a long time but please don’t stress yourself out about it, okay? Because I  _ know _ I’m right, and you’ll see in twenty-eight days.”

“Yeah?” Alex looked up at her, voice small.

“Yeah,” Maggie nodded.

“Okay,” Alex nodded, burying her face in Maggie’s neck, breathing in her scent to calm herself down a bit, to remind herself that Maggie was there, with her, at least for now.

Maggie carded her fingers through Alex’s hair gently. “As much as I’m enjoying this,” she broke the silence after a while, “It’s ten minutes till midnight, which means you should probably go find Lucy.”

“Shit,” Alex cursed as she pulled away from Maggie to look at the clock.

It really was ten minutes till midnight, and if she didn’t want to get dragged through all seven circles of hell by her best friend, she really had to go. But Maggie was just so warm and soft and Alex never had a harder time getting out of bed.

She stood up, looking down at Maggie who was still sat on her bed. “I’ll be right back,” she smiled before leaning down to give her a lingering kiss on the lips, still not quite believing she could do that.

Maggie smiled her dimpled smile when they pulled apart. “I’ll be waiting,” she said as she settled back into Alex’s bed, hugging one of Alex’s pillow.

“Was I really just replaced by a pillow so fast?”

“It smells like you,” Maggie mumbled, her face buried in the pillow, and Alex’s heart leaped.

“You’re adorable.”

Alex chuckled as Maggie flipped her off without even lifting her head from the pillow, and walked out of the room to look for her best friend.

~ ~ ~

“Have you seriously not moved since I left?” Alex frowned as she sat down next to Lucy, exactly where she had left her before.

Lucy shrugged, looking at her friend. “You’ve been gone for like what, fifteen minutes?”

“It’s actually been almost an hour,” James piped up with an amused smile on his face.

Lucy turned to Alex with a panicked expression on her face. “What the fuck?”

Alex pulled her phone from her pocket, showing it to her friend. “It’s seven minutes till midnight, Luce.”

“Shit.”

“Yep.”

Lucy looked at James with an apologetic grin on her face, telling him that she’d be right back. She stood up and pulled Alex with her, heading back inside the house. “So, you told her?” Lucy asked, pointing at Alex’s arm, her sleeve still rolled up.

“Yeah,” Alex smiled so wide her cheeks hurt.

“I’ll need all the details, but later, I’m pretty fucking nervous right now,” Lucy admitted as they reached the staircase.

Alex was just about to say something when she heard a familiar voice call her name. Frowning, she turned around just to see Rick walking from the living room.

“Hey, Rick,” she offered him a tight smile.

“Who the fuck invited you?” Lucy didn’t even bother greeting him.

“Good to see you too, Lane,” he quipped as he glanced at her briefly before turning back to Alex with a cocky smirk on his lips. “Happy birthday, Alex.”

“Thanks,” Alex took a step back, moving closer to the stairwell.

“Why aren’t you partying with the rest of us?”

She took another step closer to Lucy, wanting to get out of there as quickly as possible for the sake of her best friend’s soulmate reveal, but also because she knew how much Lucy hated the guy.

“I’ve been busy,” she shrugged, scratching at the back of her neck.

Rick’s eyes flashed to her arm, her left arm. Her sleeve was still rolled up, and now that she was scratching her neck, he could perfectly see Maggie’s name written across Alex’s forearm.

“Oh,” he breathed, frowning as a somewhat disgusted expression settled on his face. “I see.”

“Okay, as much as I’d love to drag your pathetic ass right now, we have to go. I believe you can see yourself out,” Lucy grabbed Alex’s arm and started dragging her up the stairs before he could say.

They heard the door slam just as they reached the top of the stairs. Alex’s heart was pounding in her chest, her jaw was clenched, and she hadn’t even realized how tightly she was holding onto Lucy’s hand until Lucy told her.

“I’m sorry, I just...” she took a deep breath, letting go of Lucy’s hand. “Did you see how he looked at me when he saw her name?”

Lucy nodded, pulling her friend into a tight hug. “There’s always gonna be assholes like that, hon.”

“I know, I just, it’s new…” Alex pulled back from the hug, wringing her hands nervously. “We can talk about it later though because we have less than five minutes,” she said as she glanced at the clock that was hung on the wall next to the bathroom.

“Shit,” Lucy cursed as she grabbed Alex’s hand again, pulling her towards her room.

“Wait, no,” Alex stopped her before she could open the door. “Maggie’s, uh, kinda napping in there.”

“And I’m gonna tease you about that later,” Lucy laughed, shaking her head.

Alex pointed to Kara’s room, which was right next to hers, and they both walked in. Closing the door behind them, Lucy threw herself into Kara’s beanbag, Alex sat down on the floor beside her.

“What’s the time?”

“Two minutes,” Alex replied, showing Lucy her phone.

“God I’m going to die,” Lucy sighed dramatically, throwing an arm over her eyes.

“What happened to, ‘of course I’m not stressing out I’m not you’?” Alex chuckled.

“Shut up,” Lucy grumbled, swatting Alex’s arm playfully.

 

“Sorry.”

They sat in silence for a while, the noise from outside the only sound in the room. “Could you hold my hand?” Lucy asked, breaking the silence. “I’m scared.”

“Of course,” Alex smiled, shuffling a bit closer and taking her best friend’s hand into both of hers.

“Thanks for not forgetting, by the way.”

“Huh?” Alex frowned before realizing what Lucy was talking about. “Oh, uh, actually, thank Maggie…”

“Bitch.”

“I’m sorry, I just got a little carried away…”

Alex could see Lucy’s smirk even in the dark of the room, “Oh, I’m sure you did.”

“Oh shut up,” Alex grumbled. “We just talked, ya know. It was… nice.”

Lucy snorted, shaking her head, “Yep, your hair totally looks the way it does cause of talking.”

Alex quickly ran her free hand through her hair, trying to smooth it down a bit. She made a mental not to kill Maggie later for not warning her about the state of her hair.

“Piss off.”

“Just saying that-“ Lucy froze in the middle of her sentence.

“You okay?”

“What’s the time?”

Alex checked her phone quickly, “It says a minute till midnight, but it could be late.”

“Could you, uh, did you feel it?” Alex could feel Lucy’s grip on her hand tighten.

“Yep,” she nodded.

Lucy took a deep breath, squeezing Alex’s hand even tighter. “I think I can feel it.”

“Okay,” Alex said slowly. “Where?”

“On my hip,” Lucy replied, looking at Alex with wide panicked eyes.

“Do you want me to take a look?”

“Can we do it together?”

“Sure,” Alex nodded smiling softly.

Lucy drew in a deep breath before letting Alex help her get up from the beanbag. “Okay,” she closed her eyes as she took one last breath to calm herself a little bit, squeezing Alex’s hand with one of hers as she slowly lifted the hem of her shirt up.

Alex didn’t let her eyes drop down, keeping them on her friend’s face, waiting for her to open her eyes. “Ready?” she asked softly.

“Yeah,” Lucy nodded as she opened her eyes, giving Alex a nervous smile.

Alex turned on the flashlight on her phone, so they could see it in the dark room, as they both looked at Lucy’s soulmate mark.

“Holy shit,” Alex breathed.

“Holy shit,” Lucy echoed.

Alex slowly looked up to look at her friend just to find Lucy staring at her soulmate mark with an open mouth. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” she nodded slowly as she finally looked at Alex with a huge grin on her face “Just can’t believe I was actually right.”

“When are you gonna tell him?”

“Right now,” Lucy pulled her shirt back down and headed out of the room.

“Hey,” Alex grabbed her hand pulling her back.

“I’m sorry,” Lucy grinned, hugging her friend tightly. “Thank you.”

“I’m happy for you,” Alex smiled at her when she pulled back.

“Okay I’m gonna go now if you don’t mind,” Lucy said, pointing at the door.

“Yeah, I’ve actually somewhere to be myself,” Alex smiled, walking over to the door, grateful for the lack of light in the room that would hide her blush.

“We should probably do something about the backyard full of people,” Lucy said, opening the door and walking into the hallway.

“Shit,” Alex cursed.

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll tell Clark and Lois to take care of it as the responsible adults that they are.”

 

“Yeah?”

“Yep, you have a lady to get back to after all,” Lucy winked at her as she turned and headed down the stairs.

“Thanks,” Alex smiled.

She walked over to her room, opening the door softly, not wanting to wake Maggie up in case she was sleeping. She walked in, closing the door behind her with a soft click. Hearing Maggie’s soft snoring, she smiled. She put her phone on the bedside table and turned off the lamp. Hating herself for doing it, she nudged Maggie softly so she could pull the covers from under her.

“Al?” Maggie rubbed her eyes sleepily.

“I’m sorry I didn’t wanna wake you…”

“S’okay,” Maggie mumbled as she propped herself up on one elbow. “What’s the time?”

“Just a few minutes after midnight.”

“Shit,” Maggie cursed, sitting up. “I should probably get going, my aunt’s gonna be worried…”

“Or you could, uh, stay?” Alex offered shyly.

“Would that, would it be okay?” Maggie looked up at her with wide eyes.

“You kidding?” Alex chuckled. “Of course it’d be okay.”

“You sure?”

“Absolutely,” Alex nodded, bending down to kiss her softly on the lips.

Maggie reached for her phone that she had put on the bedside table when they started making out, “I should probably text my aunt though.”

 

Alex nodded, walking over to the closet. “Do you want some pajamas?” she asked, looking at Maggie over her shoulder.

“Yeah, thanks,” she smiled as she placed her phone back on the bedside table, walking over to Alex.

“Do you want some pants as well?” Alex asked, handing her an old Midvale high t-shirt. Noticing Maggie’s wide-eyed look she chuckled. “I usually sleep in a shirt and some underwear cause it gets pretty hot,” she explained.

“Oh,” Maggie laughed awkwardly and even though the lights were off in the room she could swear she saw a blush on Maggie’s cheeks.

“So?”

“Yeah no pants for me too, thanks,” she smiled, taking the shirt from Alex and walking over to the other side of the bed.

Alex pulled off her pants quickly, and changed the shirt she was wearing for a slightly oversized one with short sleeves. Then she unclasped her bra and pulled it from under her shirt.

After folding her things on one pile next to the closet she turned around just to see Maggie sitting on her bed with her back to Alex, pulling her sports bra over her head, and even though there was almost no light in the room Alex could see Maggie’s back muscles flexing as she took off the garment. She felt her mouth run dry, unable to turn around, or take her eyes off of the other girl.

“I can literally feel you staring, Danvers,” Maggie chuckled as she reached for the shirt to pull it over her head.

“I’m so sorry,” Alex could feel blood rush into her cheeks.

“No, you’re not,” Maggie retorted, turning around to look at her once she was dressed.

“Well, I am…”

“But not really.”

“Uh, have you seen you?” Alex snorted, climbing into the bed. Maggie chuckled climbing under the covers as well, and snuggling into Alex.

“Night, Alex.”

Alex kissed Maggie’s forehead, smiling contently as she let herself relax into the mattress. “Goodnight, Maggie.”  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos are amazing and comments make me write (faster??:D) 
> 
> come talk to me on tumblr, peggycarterislife :D


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's really cheesy and hella gay, you're welcome

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know it took me a really long time to update, and i'm so sorry, but i've been pretty depressed lately, and as much as i wanted to write i just couldn't... 
> 
> so, i'm really sorry, here, have this gay shit, i hope you enjoy it, and i know it's pretty short but it took me fucking ages to write okay?? :D come yell at me on my tumblr, peggycarterislife, or just come say hi :D

The first thing Maggie noticed when she woke up was how incredibly dry her mouth was. Blinking her eyes open she took in her surroundings, noticing she wasn’t in her own bedroom. The events of the previous night came rushing back to her, and she smiled fondly. She turned around hoping to find Alex still asleep, but the bed was empty.

Frowning, she got out of the bed, and stretched her back. She sent a quick thanks, to whatever deity there was, for not being hungover.  Granted, she didn’t drink that much, but she knew- even though she’d never admit it- that she was pretty small, and it didn’t take much to get her drunk. But she managed to drink just enough to get the courage she needed to talk to Alex, and then kiss Alex, and also to sleep in a bed with Alex without actually panicking about it.

She glanced at the alarm clock, noting it was 9am, and saw the glass of water placed right next to it. She quickly chugged the whole glass, her heart feeling all fuzzy at the thought of Alex caring about her enough to leave her a drink at the bedside table. The other girl must’ve let her sleep in, figuring she probably wouldn’t come back soon, Maggie put on a flannel that was thrown over Alex’s chair and made her way downstairs.

She found Alex in the living room, curled on the couch in sweatpants and a tank top, with her back to Maggie, reading a book. Maggie leaned against the doorframe with a fond smile on her lips, watching Alex fiddle with a corner of the page as she read.

“Nerd,” she chuckled softly, shaking her head.

“Maggie,” Alex turned around, startled by Maggie’s voice. She closed the book and threw it on the coffee table as she got up from the couch and made her way to Maggie.

Maggie could see the other girl’s lips moving, she knew she was saying something, she knew she was supposed to pay attention to what her friend-  _ girlfriend? _ \- was saying, she knew she was probably expected to reply to her but in that moment she couldn’t be bothered to make her brain work because Alex fucking Danvers was walking towards her in a tank top and one of the sweetest smiles she’d ever seen. But most importantly, she was wearing glasses and Maggie was pretty sure she’d never felt gayer.

Granted she did see Alex shirtless yesterday, but that was different, and she couldn’t really let herself enjoy the view. Now though, now she could, and god, was she enjoying it.

She felt her throat run dry, forcing herself to blink so she would stare at the other girl like a total idiot, though she noticed the exact moment when Alex realized she wasn’t listening to her, that she was staring even though she was trying so damn hard not to.

She could see the slight change in Alex’s mood, could feel it, and she forced herself to snap back, shaking her head to clean it. “I had no idea you wear glasses,” she explained after she cleared her throat, her voice weaker than she’d like.

After the words had left her mouth she saw a flash of insecurity in Alex’s eyes, as she quickly took them off. “Yeah, uh, I do. Well, I mostly I wear contacts but I forgot to take them out before going to bed yesterday, and my eyes are just killing me now… I don’t have to have them on now, I, uh, can see without them. I might get a headache but nothing I couldn’t survive, you know… I-“

“I’d totally kiss you right now to cut off your cute rambling but alcohol morning breath,” Maggie grinned apologetically.

“You, you would?”

“Uh huh,” Maggie nodded, noticing the faint blush that was creeping up Alex’s cheeks. “Put the glasses on? Please? I don’t want you to get a headache.”

Alex looked at her hands, avoiding eye contact while she mumbled something quietly.

“What was that?”

“I haven’t really worn them around anyone besides mom, Kara, and Lucy…” she confessed a bit louder, still not looking at Maggie.

“Why not?” Maggie frowned.

Alex shrugged, looking up at Maggie shyly. “Cause I look stupid…”

Maggie clenched her jaw, her muscles tensing, she could feel the anger that flared inside her chest. She wasn’t angry at anyone in particular, but she knew she’d rip anyone who ever made Alex feel like she was less than perfect in half.

“Are you angry?” Alex pulled her out of her thoughts.

“Oh, uh, I’m sorry,” Maggie grinned apologetically. “You read me like a book, Danvers.”

“I could literally feel it, Sawyer,” she deadpanned, lifting her forearm.

Maggie took Alex’s hand into hers, tracing the letters of her name with her fingers. “Still feels kinda unreal, ya know…”

“I know,” Alex nodded, her voice soft, as she took a step closer to Maggie. “Care to explain why you got so angry?”

Maggie nodded, looking up at Alex, “Danvers you could wear a freaking potato sack and you’d look amazing.”

“Come on.”

“I don’t make the rules, Danvers,” Maggie shrugged. . “Besides, I think you just made me gayer with those glasses so…”

Alex laughed as she tangled their fingers together, “You’re ridiculous.”

“No, you’re just really hot,” Maggie could feel the blush that crept up her cheeks after she said it but she couldn’t care less, seeing Alex’s dopey smile as she put the glasses back on.

“Okay but that doesn’t really explain why you got angry.”

Maggie looked down at their intertwined hands as she started playing with Alex’s fingers, trying to avoid looking at her. “Because you got really insecure all of a sudden, and that didn’t come from nowhere. People have made you feel like you’re not good enough,” she paused for a second, looking up at Alex who just nodded silently. “And the thought of someone making you feel like you’re less than perfect makes me angry as hell,” she finished, looking at their hands again.

She didn’t look back up until Alex lifted her chin with gentle fingers, “Now if you don’t mind, I’ve gotta kiss the hell out of you.”

Maggie leaned against the doorframe more firmly, looking into Alex’s soft brown eyes. “Morning breath,” she protested even though she wanted nothing more than to kiss the other girl.

“Don’t give a fuck,” Alex shook her head as she stepped even closer, Maggie’s body trapped between the doorframe and Alex, her eyes darting between Alex’s lips and eyes.

“Fair enough,” she gulped as she tangled her free hand in Alex’s hair, pulling her down. Alex’s hand settled on her hip, gripping it tightly as she pulled their bodies together, crashing her lips against Maggie’s.

Maggie felt Alex pushing her against the wooden doorframe as she swiped her tongue against Alex’s lip. She let go of Alex’s hand so she could tangle the fingers of her other hand in her hair, pull her into herself more firmly. Alex bit her bottom lip at the action, earning a moan from Maggie.

“Good morning by the way,” Alex chuckled breathlessly as she rested her forehead against Maggie’s.

“Good morning indeed,” Maggie leaned up to peck Alex’s lips.

Alex pulled back to look at Maggie, a huge smile on her face, which Maggie was pretty sure she was mirroring, “You want some breakfast?”

“Yeah thanks,” she nodded, letting Alex tangle their hands together as she dragged her into the kitchen.

“Where is everyone by the way?” she asked as she sat down by the kitchen island.

“They left like half an hour ago after we cleaned up.”

“You should’ve woken me up, I could’ve helped you,” Maggie pouted, feeling guilty.

“There wasn’t that much cleaning up to do actually, thanks to Lucy’s no shoes inside rule,” Alex reassured her as she walked over to the other side of the counter.

“Doesn’t matter, Danvers,” Maggie huffed. “I feel such a dickhead for sleeping while you guys cleaned up everything. It’s just not fair, I should’ve helped you guys, I-” Maggie cut herself off when she noticed the way Alex was staring at her, leaning against the counter. “Danvers?”

“Yeah?”

Maggie tilted her head, cocking an eyebrow, “Why are you staring at me like that?”

“Like what?” Alex frowned.

“Alex.”

“Maggie.”

“Come on.”

“Fine,” she relented. “I just, well, you look really good in my clothes,” she mumbled, blushing.

Maggie could feel her own blush creeping up her cheeks as she cleared her throat. “Why, thank you,” she grinned, feeling ridiculously happy as she let everything sink in. She was sitting in Alex’s kitchen, in Alex’s clothes, waiting for Alex to make her some breakfast.

Her life hadn’t felt so perfect in the longest time. 

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos are awesome but y'all know i live for your comments;) :D 
> 
>  
> 
> come talk to me on my tumblr, peggycarterislife :) criticize my shitty writing or just come yell with me about our fav lesbians, and how THEY'RE TOTALLY NOT GONNA BREAK UP


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> one huge mess of??? there's some sister time, some awkward texting, some mother daughter talk and with some drama sprinkled on top

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i KNOW it's been almost A MONTH and i am SO SORRY 
> 
> i just couldn't get into the right headspace to write another chapter of this but for some reason i could write that cheesy ass college au?? *shrugs* idk how
> 
> anyways, here, have almost 4k words of this mess... hope it was worth the wait??

“I need to know  _ everything _ ,” said Kara, storming into Alex’s room, not caring she woke her sister up from her nap.

“What?” Alex mumbled, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes as she propped herself up on one elbow.

“I swear to Rao, Alex, I’ll melt your face off if you leave something out,” Kara said, a serious expression on her face as she plopped down on Alex’s bed.

“What?” Alex repeated herself as she sat up, leaning against the headboard.

“About Maggie, Alex! For someone as smart as you, you’re ridiculously slow sometimes…”

“Oh,” Alex breathed. A smile made its way on her lips as she remembered the events of last night and today’s morning.

Maggie left like half an hour ago, after breakfast, saying that her aunt had texted her and she needed to go home. Her smile only widened, thinking of how great Maggie looked in her flannel, how she refused to give it back to Alex cause it smelled like her, and  _ “You had my leather jacket for like three days, Danvers, so this is only fair”.  _ How reluctant to leave Maggie was, how she couldn’t stop kissing her goodbye- not that Alex was complaining.

She was pulled out of her thoughts by Kara’s hand, waving in front of her eyes. “Earth to Alex!”

“Yeah, uh, sorry,” she grinned apologetically.

“Sooooo?”

“I told her,” she said with a dopey smile on her face.

She was pretty sure she could hear her back crack when Kara launched herself at her with an excited squeal, hugging her as tight as she could without hurting her, even though it was still a little harder to breathe.

Kara pulled away with a huge smile on her face, her eyes shining. “I mean, I knew you told her cause, a, just look at your face, you’re glowing, Alex, b, I met her when I was on my way from Winn’s and she had the same exact look in her eyes! And, c, she was wearing your flannel, in which she looked absolutely adorable by the way, and-“

“Kara,” Alex cut her sister off, placing her hands on Kara’s shoulder’s.

“Yes?”

“Breathe.”

“Right. Yeah. Sorry,” Kara grinned. “I’m just  _ so  _ excited for you Alex!”

“Yeah I can see that,” Alex chuckled, shaking her head.

“Maggie’s just  _ so  _ amazing. I’m so happy you have her.”

Alex’s smile froze on her face. “She has me, I don’t know if-“

“No.”

“Huh?”

“Alex, no.”

“Alex no?”

Kara sat up a little straighter as she looked at her sister with a serious expression on her face. “Don’t you dare go on another one of those ‘maybe I’m not her soulmate’ rants,” Alex frowned, tilting her head when Kara actually air-quoted the last part.

“But Kara-“

“No,” Kara shook her head adamantly.

“I just,” Alex swallowed roughly to get rid of the lump that was starting to form in her throat, “I don’t want to get my hopes up. Because I’m already feeling too much for her… And honestly if it’s not her… I don’t know what I’m gonna do, Kara.”

Alex bit her lip to keep herself from crying.

The scary reality was so easy to forget when she was with Maggie, too preoccupied by her voice, her laughter, and as of last night, her lips. But when she wasn’t with her, she was thinking about her, and when she was thinking about her, her mind always slipped to  _ those  _ thoughts.

The thoughts of what if.

She’d been terrified of the possibility of not being her soulmate’s soulmate ever since she was a kid. There weren’t many people like that in Midvale, after all it wasn’t a big town, but there lived a few of them. And no matter how happy they claimed to be, Alex could always tell that there was  _ something _ they were missing, that they could never be as happy as everyone else.

And now that she knew Maggie, now that Maggie had become so close, so important to her, those damn thoughts only got that much scarier. Even though she hadn’t known her for a very long time, she just knew that she couldn’t imagine her life without Maggie. When she let herself think of it, she just felt, well, empty.

And that terrified her like nothing ever had.

“Alex,” Kara said, her voice soft, as she shuffled closer to her big sister, putting an arm around her and pulling Alex into her side.

Alex couldn’t hold the tears back any longer. She buried her face in Kara’s shoulder, gripping at her shirt, as she started sobbing, feeling Kara squeeze her a little tighter. “I’m scared, Kara.”

“Hey, look at me,” Kara waited for Alex to look up, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. “I’m never gonna have a soulmate,” Alex shot her sister a confused look. “Remember how broken I felt when I you told me that humans have soulmates? I’d never even heard of soulmates before I came to earth. And remember what you told me? You told me that it doesn’t matter, that I’m perfect as I am and I don’t need another person to make me feel valid.”

Alex nodded, clearing her throat. “But she makes me feel so complete, Kara.”

“I know, and judging by the way she looks at you, the way she was basically prancing on her way home, you make her feel the same,” Kara said with a soft smile on her face. “And even if you weren’t her soulmate, which is pretty much impossible, she would never just trade you for someone else.”

“I wouldn’t want to hold her back…”

“Alex, my Rao! That girl is absolutely crazy about you, and maybe you’ve just started noticing but she’s had that look in her eyes whenever she looks at you pretty much since the first time she saw you. Hell, Alex, I used to think the poor girl was having an aneurysm whenever you walked by!”

Alex chuckled wetly, hugging her little sister tightly. “Thanks, Kara,” she mumbled with her face buried into Kara’s shoulder.

They stayed like that until Alex heard her phone vibrate on the bedside table. She pulled away from her little sister, wiping her eyes as she grabbed it. Unlocking the screen she noticed Maggie had texted her.

**Sawyer:** What’s wrong?

A soft smile made its way in Alex’s lips as she showed the text to Kara.

“See?!! Tell her I thank her for helping me prove my point.”

Alex just chuckled, shaking her head as she unlocked her phone, typing out her reply.

~ ~ ~

 

She was lying in bed with her chemistry textbook, trying to study, but she found herself drifting. That had never really happened to her. She’d always been so focused when it came to studying. Even after her dad died.

Especially after her dad died.

But now she just couldn’t concentrate, with the giddy feeling in her stomach- which she suspected wasn’t only her own.

Her heart skipped a beat when she heard her phone buzz with a text, almost falling off of the bed in her haste to get to it. She felt a twinge of disappointment when she saw that the text wasn’t from Maggie but from Lucy.

**Major Sass:** so

**Major Sass:** our party sucked

**Major Sass:** I mean I had a great time

**Major Sass:** but we were pretty shit hosts

**Major Sass:** not that I really give half a fuck

Alex chuckled at the string of texts Lucy sent her in a matter of seconds.

**Me:** I hung out with the one person I actually invited… still don’t really get why you had the need to invite those fuckboys from the football team

**Major Sass:** to maintain my popularity?

**Me:** you’re such an attention whore

**Major Sass:** yep

**Major Sass:** can’t even argue with that

**Major Sass:** sooo

She watched as the three dots popped up again as Lucy typed. She locked her phone, putting it on the bed next to her, and tried to get back to studying.

She heard her phone buzz again, and as hard as she tried to just finish reading the paragraph, she couldn’t. Because it could’ve been a text from Maggie, and she couldn’t just ignore Maggie.

She picked her phone up, looking at the screen, her heart skipping a beat when she saw the text really was from Maggie.

**Sawyer:** hey

**Me:** hi

Alex felt her phone vibrate in her hand with a text from Lucy.

**Major Sass:** is Margaret’s butt really as great as it looks?

Alex snorted at Lucy’s text, shaking her head. Her best friend would never change.

“Alex?” she heard Kara’s voice from the other side of the door.

She put her phone on the bed, turning her head to the door. “Yeah?”

Kara opened the door slightly, a broad smile on her face. “Eliza said dinner will be ready in five minutes.”

“Tell mom I’ll be right there.”

Alex picked up her phone as soon as Kara shut the door, typing her reply to Lucy.

**Me:** I’m so not talking to you about Maggie’s butt

She froze as soon as she hit send, noticing the previous message, frowning in confusion because why would Lucy ask her out on a ‘real date’. Her eyes wide when she noticed who she really sent the text to, heart pounding like crazy when the read receipt popped up.

She stared at the screen for a few more seconds, her brain frozen from the shock, before she typed ‘fuck… wrong chat… sorry:D’.

_ Sure Maggie didn’t know the text wasn’t meant for her. _

_ Fuck. _

She made a screenshot and sent it to Lucy- but not before triple checking she’s sending it to the right person.

**Major Sass:** bitch you didn’t

**Major Sass:** :DDDD

**Major Sass:** how is that even possible???

**Me:** I don’t know but I’m pretty sure I’m having a heart attack

Her phone vibrated again. She took a deep breath before exiting her conversation with Lucy.

**Sawyer:** ... I’m guessing that was meant for Lane?

**Me:** Yes?

**Me:** I’m sorry

**Sawyer:** I mean… I do have a great butt so you’ve nothing to apologize for, Danvers ;)

Alex chuckled at Maggie’s reply, shaking her head. She could pretty much see the smug grin Maggie had on while typing the text.

**Sawyer:** now… could you please answer my question?

**Sawyer:** I’m kinda dying over here

**Me:** I’d love to go out with you Maggie

Alex could feel the butterflies in her stomach as she sent the text, not even bothering to keep the huge smile off of her face. 

~ ~ ~

“How happy was she when you told her?” Eliza’s voice startled Alex.

She put the plate she rinsed into the dishwasher, turning around to look at her mom. Eliza was leaning against the doorframe of the kitchen, a fond smile on her lips.

“What?” Alex asked, frowning.

Eliza chuckled, shaking her head, as she walked over to the kitchen island, leaning against it. “Maggie,” she said simply.

“How?” Alex breathed, her eyes going wide. There was no way her mom knew about the party, right?

“Oh Alex, I’m your mother,” Eliza laughed, “There really is some truth to the whole ‘a mother always knows’ thing.”

“Oh,” Alex chuckled nervously.

Eliza’s smile softened as she looked at her daughter. “Besides you just seem… happier.”

Alex ducked her head, scuffing her feet on the tiled floor, unable not to smile the smile she knew Lucy would tease her about. “I really am, mom.”

She looked up at her mom to see her nod slightly, with a knowing look on her face. “So I’m guessing Maggie was excited to see that she’s your soulmate?”

“Yeah,” Alex breathed out, still not quite believing it herself. She leaned against the counter, opposite of Eliza, resting her chin in her hand.

“I’m so happy for you, Alex. I can’t believe it’s been so long since your father came up to me after our first lecture, nearly tripping over his own feet, that’s how nervous he was,” Eliza chuckled, a wistful look in her eyes. “But then he just looked at me and said, hi, my name’s Jeremiah Danvers and I think you’re my soulmate, please have coffee with me?”

Alex had to blink back a few tears that were threatening to fall from her eyes. She’d heard the story so many times, but ever since Jeremiah passed away, Eliza didn’t talk about him much. And at first Alex didn’t really get it, wanting to keep her dad’s memory alive, but as the time passed she could see how hard Eliza was trying, and how much it hurt her to talk about him, even though she wanted to.

But was the first time she talked about that particular memory since he died, and she just felt so proud of her mom. Especially now that she’d found her own soulmate, she couldn’t even imagine how hard it must’ve been for Eliza.

She watched as her mom wiped a few stray tears from her face, clearing her throat. “So when do I get to meet the perfect person for my daughter?” she asked with a teasing smile.

Alex laughed despite the blush that was creeping up her cheeks. “I don’t know, mom,” she shrugged.

“You should invite her for dinner sometime,” Eliza suggested.

“Mom we’re only going on our first date this week,” Alex said, accepting the fact that she’d never get rid of the dopey grin she had on whenever she thought about Maggie. “But don’t worry, you’ll meet her sooner or later.”

“Rather sooner than later, sweetie.”

“Fine,” Alex chuckled, turning around to put the last plate into the dishwasher. “I’ll be in my room if you need anything,” she said, pointing at the door that lead out of the kitchen.

“One more thing before you go, Alex,” Eliza called after her, making Alex stop and turn around.

“Yeah?”

“I just realized I gave you the wrong sex talk,” Eliza said. Alex’s eyes went wide with horror as she thought to the awkward conversation she had with her mom a few months ago-complete having to pull a condom on a banana and all- and she would rather die than having to sit through another conversation like that.

“Mom, no.”

“I’m just saying that you can ask me about anything, Alexandra… There’s no shame in-“

“I’ll be in my room if you need anything,” she cut Eliza off before she could continue, turning around as she dashed out of the room quickly, her cheeks burning bright red.

As much as she appreciated her mom being so okay with all of this, she was not going to willingly sit through another awkward talk when she could just google everything.

~ ~ ~

Maggie felt simply amazing as she walked into the school on Monday morning.

She was going on an actual date, with a girl she’d been crushing on for what felt like ages. Not to mention she was actually Alex’s soulmate.

She was still trying to wrap her head around the fact that she was her soulmate.

Maggie couldn’t believe that this was her life now. She just felt  _ so happy.  _ She’d never felt this blissfully happy in her entire life, not even before she was kicked out. And especially not after she was kicked out.

A week ago she was just hopelessly crushing on the girl who, as it turned out, had it as bad for Maggie as she did for her. The mere thought of going on an actual date with Alex, of getting to hold her and kiss her again, had Maggie’s stomach doing somersaults.

She got to her locker, opening it, and stuffing the books she needed into her backpack. She closed the locker as she turned around, a huge grin spreading across her face when she saw Alex, walking down the hallway with Lucy by her side, rolling her eyes even though she laughed at something that Lucy had said, shoving her best friend’s shoulder lightly.

Maggie watched as the two of them got closer, not moving from her locker. Her heart skipped a beat when Alex finally noticed her, her eyes softening and a wide smile spreading across her face.

She leaned against her locker as Alex walked over to her, returning Lucy’s wave as she continued walking down the hallway.

“Hey,” Alex breathed when she stopped in front of her.

“Hey,” Maggie repeated, glancing at Alex’s arm where she knew her name was written, hiding under the sleeve of Alex’s shirt.

“I didn’t know if you’d be okay with everyone knowing,” she said softly, making Maggie’s heart ache.

On one hand, of course she’d be okay with everyone knowing she was Alex’s soulmate, she was  _ proud _ to be Alex’s soulmate. But on the other hand she was terrified. Terrified of how people might react, knowing how cruel they could be, but she didn’t even care about what they’d do to her as much as she worried about what people might do to Alex.

Because Maggie had gone through all the bullying before, and back then she didn’t have anyone but her aunt. Now she had a best friend who she knew would stick up for her no matter what, and she also had Alex and she was sure Alex wouldn’t fuck around if someone gave Maggie a hard time.

But Alex had never gone through anything like that, and Maggie would be damned if she let it happen because Alex deserved only the best, she didn’t deserve people looking at her as if she was an abomination.

Her heart ached because Alex was thoughtful enough, knew her well enough, to cover her Maggie’s name up.

Maggie blinked away the few tears that had welled up in her eyes, giving Alex a small smile. “Thank you.”

Alex nodded with a soft smile on her face, looking down at Maggie. “Of course.”

“God, you’ve no idea how much I wanna kiss you right now, Danvers,” she lowered her voice, her eyes flitting to Alex’s lips as she swallowed roughly.

“I think I do,” Alex chuckled nervously, biting her lower lip.

“Fuck.”

“After school,” Alex promised. “That is if you haven’t changed your mind about our date…”

“Of course I haven’t.”

“Good,” Alex grinned her eyes flitting down to Maggie’s lips, and Maggie was so happy she was leaning against the damn locker because her knees went weak. “I gotta go, but I’ll see you at lunch?”

Maggie nodded, smiling, as she watched Alex turn around and walk back in the direction where she came from. “Weren’t you going the other way?”

“Was just hoping you’d be here,” Alex called over her shoulder and Maggie couldn’t even find it in her to care if someone heard.

She watched Alex leave until she disappeared in the crowd, knowing she probably looked like an idiot, unable to stop smiling. Sighing, she fixed her backpack on her shoulder as she opened her notebook, starting to read her notes.

She only made a few steps before someone smashed her into the lockers, knocking her notebook out of her hands. Her muscles tensed automatically, ready for a fight, her heart slamming like crazy. This hadn’t happened for the longest time. The last time someone physically attacked her was back in Blue Springs.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” she heard the guy who knocked into her and she relaxed a little. Maybe he just wasn’t looking where he was going, after all it wasn’t like Maggie was paying much attention to her surroundings either. Maybe it was even her fault…

“It’s okay,” she muttered, bending down to grab her notebook but the guy kicked it away.

_ Okay, that totally wasn’t unintentional. _

Maggie’s stomach dropped as her heart started beating even faster. She gulped to get rid of the burning in her throat, forcing herself to put on a brave face. “What the fuck is your problem?” she barked as she stood up straight, finally looking at the person.

It was Rick Malverne. And of course Maggie knew he was a notorious dick, but as far as she was concerned she hadn’t done anything to piss him off.

She clenched her jaw, digging her fingernails into her palms as he smirked down at her. “I said I was sorry,  _ Maggie Sawyer _ .”

Maggie frowned at the way he said her name, she had no idea he even knew her name.

“You got a problem, pal?” Maggie hoped Rick didn’t notice how relieved she was when she heard James’s voice.

“Nope, I was just apologizing to Maggie here because my clumsy ass knocked into her,” he said, staring at Maggie before bending down to pick up her notebook. “Here,” he dusted it off and shoved it into her hands a bit too roughly, making James frown.

“You okay?” James asked when Rick was out of earshot. Maggie leaned against the locker, letting out a long sigh.

“Yeah.”

“Mags you’re shaking,” he said with a gentle voice, stepping a bit closer to her. Maggie loved him so much for not trying to touch her, just standing close to her.

“Huh?” she looked up at him with a confused look, before looking down at her hands, which were clutching the notebook so tight, her knuckles went white. She let out a dry laugh when she noticed her hands were really shaking.

“What’d he want?” James’s voice made her look from her trembling hands, looking into his concerned eyes instead.

“I don’t know,” Maggie said, her voice sounding strange and empty to her own ears.

“Come on, let’s get into the class before the bell rings,” James said softly after a while.

“Yeah, okay,” Maggie stood up straight, feeling how wobbly her knees really felt, she leaned into James, who put an arm around her to support her.

They made their way into the class slowly, Maggie taking deep breaths to calm herself down, feeling guilty when she remembered that Alex was probably feeling all of this panic too. She tried to convince herself that it was nothing, that it was just Rick being Rick. It didn’t mean anything. She would be okay. She wasn’t in Blue Springs anymore.

She was safe.

Right?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos are amazing and your comments give me life and motivation and make me write faster:D   
> (i also crave some validation tbh...)
> 
> hope this made the shitty ass week we've had at least a bit better?? 
> 
> also i made myself a promise that i'd try to reply to all of your wonderful comments cause i feel like such a dickhead cause you guys always leave me the nicest comments and never reply... no promises tho cause i don't know how to do this whole 'responding to comments' thing:D if you wanna talk to me tho hmu on my tumblr, peggycarterislife


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> winn is a great little brother, alex is hella mad at whoever felt like picking on maggie and lucy is the friend we all want and need... oh and there's also-their first 'real'-date, and alex is a gay mess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i told myself i'd update at least every week, and i actually managed to do it?? so i feel hella proud of myself?? 
> 
> so here have over 3.5k words of gay nonsense, and my attempt at angst. even tho my angst is pretty fluffy so... enjoy?? :D
> 
> (i feel like i should warn you cause i wrote this really fucking sleep deprived so yea...:D)

Alex felt like all the air had been sucked out of her lungs. She leaned against the wall, trying to take deep breaths and calm herself down, to make her heart beat slower. But her deep breaths did nothing when all she could think about was Maggie, her mind going a mile a minute.

She tried to pull her phone out of the pocket of her jeans with her shaky hands but she dropped it before she could even unlock it. Swearing under her breath, she sat down on the floor in the hallway, reaching for her phone.

She dialed Maggie’s number as fast as she could, hoping she’d pick up. Alex saw the other girl only a few minutes ago and she seemed to be just fine, great even, all big smile with deep dimples and shiny eyes. Something must’ve gone terribly wrong when Maggie was pretty much having a panic attack.

The call went into voicemail when Maggie didn’t pick up and Alex felt like she was going to throw up. She knew she probably wasn’t helping her-  _ girlfriend?- _ soulmate with her own panic but she couldn’t help it.

Blinking back the tears that had welled up in her eyes she clenched her jaw, dialing Maggie’s number again. She didn’t pay much attention to all the people who passed by, staring at her like she was crazy but not bothering to ask her if she was alright.

Alex cursed when Maggie didn’t pick up again, shutting her eyes tight, willing herself to calm down at least a bit so Maggie wouldn’t have to deal with her panic as well.

She could hear someone calling her name and when she opened her eyes Winn was crouching down beside her, looking at her with a panic of his own in his eyes. Shaking her head, she cleared her throat, trying to force a few words out but failing, her voice cracking.

She collapsed into Winn, burying her face in his shoulder, breathing raggedly. “Hey, Alex, what happened?” she could hear his voice more clearly, pulling back to shake her head. “Did somebody hurt you?”

Clearing her throat once more Alex managed to speak up, her voice sounding strange to her own ears. “Not me, my soulmate.”

His eyes went wide, his throat bobbing as he swallowed roughly, nodding his head slowly. “Is Maggie okay? God, no, that’s a stupid question… I, uh, have you tried calling her?”

Alex simply nodded, unable to force any more words out.

“Of course you have… I’m guessing she’s not picking up?” he waited till Alex shook her head no before continuing, “Have you tried calling James?”

Alex’s heart jumped a little at Winn’s idea. James, she needed to call James. But she froze before she pulled her contact list up. “I don’t have his number,” she croaked out, voice small.

“I do!” Winn said as he pulled his phone out of his pocket, dialing James’s number before handing the phone over to Alex.

She waited a few seconds, her heart hammering like crazy before she heard James’s deep voice from the other end of the line. “What’s up Winn?”

“James,” she breathed out, “is she, is she-“

“She’s okay Alex,” his words washed over her, helping her breathe a little easier. She closed her eyes, resting her head against the cool wall, letting out a quiet thank you.

There was a silence on the other end for and then Alex felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of her heart when Maggie’s voice came through the speaker. “Hey, Al.”

“Maggie,” she clutched the phone tighter, pressing it closer to her ear.

She heard Maggie chuckle but even over the phone she could hear that it wasn’t the laugh she was used to. “I’m sorry if I scared you…”

“I’m so happy to hear you voice,” Alex said, her voice cracking at the end of the sentence. “What happened? Are you okay?”

“I’m okay, Alex, don’t worry,” Maggie said, and Alex could practically feel how untrue those words were. “I’ll see you at lunch, okay?”

She wanted to protest, to get Maggie to tell her what happened, who hurt her, so she could hunt the person down and make them regret being born. But she nodded, forcing out a quiet  _ okay _ when she realized Maggie couldn’t see her. She knew Maggie would tell her eventually, if she wanted to.

“Be safe,” she said before ending the call, not even caring about how ridiculous that must’ve sounded. 

Handing the phone back to Winn with a weak smile and a  _ thank you _ , she tried to stand up but her legs felt just too weak. Winn must’ve noticed, offering her a hand which she gratefully accepted.

“Come on, scary Danvers,” he said as she put an arm around his shoulders, making her huff out a laugh, “let’s get into the class before Mr. J’onnz. You know how much he hates when someone’s late.”

“Wait,” Alex stopped when they were a few feet away from the classroom.

“No, I’m not gonna tell anyone about how soft you are. Yes, I know you would make me regret being born,” Winn rolled his eyes good-naturedly.

“No, not that,” Alex waved her hand dismissively. “I mean, yes, that as well, but… How, how did you know that Maggie,” she lowered her voice in case anyone who was passing by in the almost empty hallway could hear them, “is my soulmate?”

His eyes went comically wide as he took a deep breath. “Please don’t kill me? I swear I wasn’t trying to get her to tell me!” he whined. “You know how bad she’s with secrets! Especially when she’s  _ that  _ excited, I mean-“

“Winn,” Alex cut him off with an amused grin on her lips. “Calm down, I’m not going to kill you. I honestly kind of expected she’d tell you…”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah… But if you tell someone I swear to god I’ll-“

“Kill me. Yeah. Noted,” he nodded quickly, making Alex bite back a laugh at how genuinely panicked he looked.

“Good,” she grinned, putting her arm around his shoulders again. “Come on Schott, time for some Physics.”

~ ~ ~

James was not trying to make small talk while they were sitting together at the lunch table outside, waiting for everyone else to join them, and Maggie was eternally grateful to her best friend for knowing her so well.

When she spotted Alex, walking into the school yard- her backpack slung over one shoulder, hair somewhat messy, as if she’d been running her fingers through it, and eyes wild, looking around the crowd of people, looking for her- she wanted nothing more than to run towards her and hold her, let Alex hold her, and never let go.

But she couldn’t.

Not after what happened before the first period. She couldn’t risk provoking Rick, or some other entitled asshole. She still felt pretty shaken up from what he did, and he didn’t even do anything half as bad as the kids in Blue Springs used to, didn’t even call her any of those hurtful things they used to. But still, the way he towered over her, eyes cold and hateful, and that stupid sneer on his lips, as if he was daring her do make one wrong move, to give him a reason to do something.

And as much as the thought of something like that happening again made her blood run cold, the thought of it happening to Alex- good, sweet, brilliant Alex- had her blood running cold and boiling at the same time and her stomach clenching with fear.

So instead she just raised her arm up, waving at Alex till she noticed her. She could  _ feel _ Alex relax when she laid her eyes on her, letting out a shaky breath, she made her way over to the table with a weak smile on her lips.

Alex sat down right next to Maggie, but not too close to her, their shoulders barely brushing. Alex’s worried eyes scanned over Maggie carefully as if she was looking for some injuries.

“You would’ve felt it, Danvers,” Maggie said quietly, not wanting anyone else to hear.

“Huh?” Alex met Maggie’s eyes, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“If someone hit me,” she clarified, clearing her throat as she suppressed a shudder when some rather unpleasant memories flashed through her mind, “you would’ve felt it.”

“I was  _ so  _ scared,” Alex said as she took in a deep, shuddering breath.

Maggie closed her eyes, willing the tears that had welled up in her eyes to just disappear. “I know,” she whispered. “I’m sorry.”

“Maggie,” Alex said and Maggie opened her eyes, looking at her. “You’ve nothing to apologize for… What, what happened?”

Maggie’s jaw clenched when Alex asked the question. She couldn’t worry Alex with something like that. She shouldn’t bother her with all the baggage she had. It didn’t matter and Alex deserved so much better than a broken soulmate. And as much as she’d hate herself for lying to Alex, it was still better than showing her how weak and pathetic she was. She wanted to be the best she could for Alex, because Alex deserved perfection. A broken soulmate was as far from perfection as it gets.

“Nothing, really,” she forced a smile on her face, hoping that Alex couldn’t feel the gnawing feeling of guilt as the words left her mouth.

Alex tilted her head, frowning at her. “Maggie.”

“Alex.”

“Please?”

She was pretty sure Alex could feel the pang of guilt in her chest, when she looked into her worried pleading eyes.

“Some jerk knocked into me in the hallway and I panicked,” she said, trying to make herself feel at least a bit better with the fact that she was lying only partially.

Alex nodded slowly and Maggie could see how her brain was working a mile a minute, her eyes still wary. “If anyone ever did anything to you,” she said softly, reaching out for Maggie’s hand but stopping herself inches away. Maggie noticed and smiled softly, laying her hand onto Alex’s, which was resting on the table. “Please tell me? I couldn’t live with myself if someone was hurting you and I didn’t do anything about it.”

“Okay,” Maggie nodded, squeezing Alex’s hand gently.

“Promise?”

“Promise,” Maggie nodded, the word bitter in her mouth.

~ ~ ~

“She lied to me,” Alex told Lucy when they both sat down in the class, pulling out their notebooks.

Lucy looked at her with furrowed brow. “Who? Maggie?”

Alex nodded, fiddling with the top right corner of her notebook. “Yeah.”

“Come on, Alex. It literally makes no sense…That girl would never lie to you.”

Alex took a deep breath, looking at the now ruined corner rather than at her friend. She knew Maggie was lying, not only did she see it in her eyes but she could literally  _ feel  _ it. But she didn’t push her, knowing Maggi would open up if she wanted, even though she’d never been so worried. Because what Maggie resonated through the bond was not just some irrational reaction to someone bumping into her in the hallway. Maggie was terrified.

So much that it reminded Alex of all the things she felt through the bond before Maggie came to Midvale. All the nights she couldn’t sleep, filled with hatred and anger and fear, curled up in her little sister’s arms. All the days at school, walking around the hallways with Lucy or Kara or Winn always by her side, just in case, waiting for another punch, another wave of panic.

“Lucy I just  _ know _ , okay?” she said, turning to look at her best friend. “I can literally feel her emotions when they’re strong enough. And the crushing guilt she felt when she promised me… I don’t want to push her to tell me something she doesn’t want to, but I care about her  _ so  _ much, and the thought of something happening to her, of someone treating her like shit… I can’t fucking stand the thought of that, Luce.”

She took a deep shuddering breath, pushing the thoughts of some self-righteous prick treating her Maggie like she’s less than the perfect human being that she is, just to prove how strong and great they are.

Lucy nodded her head slightly, reaching over to squeeze Alex’s hand. “I know, Alex. I’m sure she’ll tell you eventually… And once she does, I swear I’ll help you hide the body.”

“But what if she doesn’t?” she asked, her voice small.

“Then we’re gonna go dickhead to dickhead till we find the one that’s got a problem with your girl,” Lucy grinned, making Alex shake her head with an amused smile on her lips. “Then we hide the body,” she added with a deadly serious face.

Alex laughed at Lucy’s promise, looking at her friend who seriously looked ready to murder, her amused eyes the only thing giving her away.

“Thank you, Lucy.”

~ ~ ~

Neither of them said anything about what happened in the morning as they made their way to the small ice cream shop in the center of the town.

Laughing at how terrified Winn looked when he sat at the lunch table and said how incredibly soft they looked, earning himself a threatening glare from both of them. Alex’s heart nearly stopping at how gorgeous Maggie looked when she laughed like  _ that,  _ her head thrown back, dimples deep, and eyes shiny when she stopped laughing and opened them, looking over at Alex. Her hand itching to grab Maggie’s and interlace their fingers every time they brushed against each other as they walked from the parking lot. It was almost as if nothing happened.

Almost.

Because every time Maggie said something, making Alex laugh, every time she laughed, every time she so much as looked at Alex with those soft brown eyes, taking Alex’s breath away, Alex felt like her heart was being torn to pieces. Because somehow someone thought that it was okay to hurt her, to make her feel like she’s less than anyone else, to bring back those hurtful memories of her past.

And there was nothing Alex could do about it.

She shook her head to get rid of the thoughts as Maggie held the door of the ice cream shop open for her, blushing as she thanked her.

“Bet I can guess which flavor you want?” Maggie grinned at her when they stood in the small line of people.

Alex frowned- there was no way Maggie could guess what ice cream she wanted- even though a smile was tugging at the corners of her lips as she nodded slowly. “Okay. What do you want if you win?”

“When, Danvers, not if,” she replied. “You have to try vegan ice cream.”

Alex scrunched up her face in disgust, making Maggie laugh. “Gross. Okay, uh, what do I get if you’re wrong?”

“That’s not gonna happen.”

“Maggie.”

“Fine,” Maggie sighed, her eyes lighting up as she bit her lip. Alex took in a deep breath, bracing herself for Maggie’s answer as Maggie looked up at her and leaned closer. “You’ll get whatever you want, Danvers,” she whispered into her ear and Alex nearly choked on thin air.

She could literally feel the spreading across her cheeks as Maggie pulled back and looked at her with a shit-eating grin on her face, praying Maggie couldn’t feel the wave of arousal that shot through her body when her mind went somewhere it totally shouldn’t have. Definitely not in the middle of an ice cream shop.

Alex cleared her throat before speaking. “I, uh, okay Sawyer.”

Maggie flashed her a big dimpled smile before asking her to go sit down when she saw that the group of people who’d been sitting in the back corner booth were leaving.

She slid into the booth, her back to the wall, looking at Maggie as she ordered their ice creams, and walked over to her with two paper cups in her hands. Sliding one to Alex as she slipped into the booth, opposite of her.

Alex just stared at the cup of mint chocolate chip ice cream in front of her, blinking a few times. “How?”

Maggie grinned as she popped a spoonful of her chocolate ice cream into her mouth. “Soulmate telepathy, Al,” she said, her face serious and Alex’s mouth fell open, remembering the things she thought of mere moments ago.

“Wha-, uh, a what now?” she spluttered, feeling the blush coming back into her cheeks.

Maggie burst out laughing, Alex just stared at her with wide, panicked eyes trying not to let her mind wander back to the cause of her panic.

“Alex,” Maggie said as she stopped laughing, wiping her eyes. “I’m just kidding.”

“Oh, yes, I knew that,” she scoffed, nodding quickly, a wave of relief washing over her, as she popped a spoonful of ice cream into her mouth.

“Although,” Maggie began, taking another spoon of ice cream into her mouth, “I _can_ feel when you’re turned on.”

Alex’s eyes went wide as she realized what Maggie just said. She opened and closed her mouth a few times but no sounds came out, looking at Maggie who was watching her with an amused expression on her face.

“I, uh, I’m sorry, Maggie,” she finally managed to get out.

All traces of amusement disappeared from Maggie’s face as she looked around the shop, reaching for Alex’s hand over the table, lacing their fingers together.

“Hey, Alex,” she spoke softly. “You’ve nothing to apologize for.”

“I don’t?”

“No! I mean,” Maggie cleared her throat, ducking her head slightly as Alex noticed the slight blush that was creeping up her cheeks “don’t tell me you’ve never felt me being turned on or…”

Alex sucked in a sharp breath at Maggie’s words, knowing very well what she meant even though she didn’t finish the sentence. And as hard as she tried to push those thoughts down, she couldn’t.

Because she didn’t really care about it when she didn’t know who her soulmate was- even though it wasn’t really pleasant when she knew they were getting themself off while she was eating dinner with her family. But for some reason she hadn’t really thought of the person actually being Maggie, even though she’d known it was her for over a week now.

But as she let the thought sink in, in the middle of an ice cream shop, she could feel the blush on her cheeks grow even stronger along with the heat between her legs.

She realized that she should probably say something when she noticed that Maggie was looking at her expectantly from across the table. “Oh, uh, yeah,” she nodded quickly.

Maggie squeezed her hand tighter as she took a deep breath. “I know that an ice cream shop is not really the right place for a conversation like this, but we should probably talk about this stuff eventually... I mean if you want to!” she added, eyes wide.

“I want to,” Alex blurted out. “Talk about it. I want to talk about it.”

“Okay,” Maggie nodded, smiling as she took a spoonful of ice cream and held it up in front of Alex. “Now, I believe you’ve lost the bet so…”

“Oh god,” Alex muttered, looking at the spoon with disgust.

“Come on, Danvers. It’s really not that bad,” Maggie chuckled.

Alex looked at her dimpled smile, her heart skipping a beat at how relaxed Maggie looked in the moment. She grabbed Maggie’s hand that was holding up the spoon and lowered it down gently, looking at Maggie with a soft smile on her lips.

“One more thing before I die,” she said, earning herself another chuckle from Maggie.

“Stop being so dramatic! It’s just ice cream!”

“That thing has no right to be called ice cream.”

“Alex.”

“Maggie.”

“I believe you were about to make your last wish or whatever,” she said, rolling her eyes.

“Right, uh,” she took a deep breath to steady herself. “Do you wanna be my girlfriend?”

Alex’s stomach dropped as Maggie started laughing, but the latter seemed to notice because she was looking at her with an earnest expression mere seconds later. She put her spoon back into her cup, as she reached over to clasp her hand over hers and Alex’s interlocked fingers.

“Alex Danvers, I would love to be your girlfriend,” she smiled brightly, eyes shining.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Then why the fuck did you laugh?”

“I’m sorry I thought you were just trying to stall cause I thought that this,” she pointed her finger between the two of them, “was pretty obvious.”

Alex chuckled, shaking her head slightly. “Okay then, girlfriend.”

“Nerd,” Maggie laughed as she grabbed the spoon again, bringing it to Alex’s mouth. “Come on, I’ve granted you your last wish, time for you to try my ice cream.”

“Who’s being dramatic now?”

“Alex.”

“Fine,” she huffed as she opened her mouth, letting Maggie feed her a spoonful of her ice cream.

She scrunched her nose up in disgust even though it wasn’t really bad. Truth be told she actually liked it, but she wouldn’t tell her, even though she was fairly certain that Maggie knew.

“So?” she asked expectantly as Alex swallowed.

“Are you trying to kill me?” Alex asked with disgust, earning herself an amused chuckle from Maggie.

“Oh come on, death by ice cream wouldn’t be  _ that  _ bad.”

And no, it actually wouldn’t be, as long as the last thing she saw was her girlfriend’s-  _ her girlfriend’s!- _ smile and the happiness shining in her eyes.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> KUDOS ARE GREAT AND YOUR COMMENTS MAKE ME WRITE FASTER CAUSE THEY GIVE ME MOTIVATION AND LIFE (and anxiety when i have to reply to them cause idk how to accept compliments and i'm hella awkward, but i replied to all of your comments from the last chapter so..) and i promise i'll try to reply to all of them 
> 
> seriously tho, replying to your comments went like this  
> me: *writes a reply*  
> me:*shows it to a frined* good?  
> friend: *nods*  
> me: you sure?  
> friend" *nods again*  
> me: okay but how sure are you?  
> friend: *facepalms* jesus shit julie just reply to the damn comment
> 
> ANYWAYS, i hope you liked it! :D  
> come talk to me on tumblr on peggycarterislife


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there's some angst, some pretty cheesy fluff and quite a lot of gay mess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so apparently being home and high on meds is good? for my creativity... cause it took me only like three hours to write this, which is the longest chapter yet i think? a bit over 7k? but god knows y'all deserve some cheesy fluff with all the shit that's going on right now... so i hope you'll enjoy :D

It had been four days and Maggie was still refusing to tell her. Granted, it didn’t happen every day, but Alex could feel Maggie’s fear whenever she walked into school.

Four days of fear and panic, and there was nothing Alex could do because Maggie wouldn’t even admit that something was actually wrong. And all Alex could do was watch, and  _ feel _ , how her girlfriend struggled.

And it was tearing her up from the inside.

All she wanted to do was to protect her, to keep all the people who made her feel like she’s something less away from her. But she couldn’t because Maggie kept insisting everything was fine.

They even had their first argument yesterday.

Alex promised herself she’d never push Maggie into anything. But when she came over to her place after school and Alex saw her tired, scared eyes, trying to force a smile on her face, trying to seem like everything was okay, like it wasn’t just a few hours ago that Alex felt like she couldn’t breathe, like she was going to be sick, she just couldn’t hold back any longer. She couldn’t just stand by and watch.

So she asked and Maggie insisted everything was okay, and she didn’t even know how but she suddenly heard her own voice, louder and harsher than she wanted. And in that moment she could literally see Maggie retreat into her shell, could see how she somehow shrank in front of her own eyes, her jaw setting and her shoulder squaring even though she could see tears brimming in her eyes.

And she hated herself so much in that moment. She never wanted to hurt her, she just wanted to help her. Wanted her to feel like she wasn’t alone anymore. Because she wasn’t, she had Alex.

She’d always have Alex.

And Alex wanted to apologize, wanted to wrap her in her arms and tell her how sorry she was, and how she wanted nothing but to help her, to be there for her, but Maggie just grabbed her backpack and left before Alex could say anything else.

Alex texted her, tried calling her, to apologize, to explain. But the only text she got from Maggie after she’d left her house was that she got home okay, ignoring all the texts Alex had sent her.

Alex could feel how broken Maggie felt. She knew she was crying her heart out. And she hated herself even more because she knew that it was because of her, it was her fault that Maggie was hurting even more.

When Kara found her she was lying on her bed, clutching on Maggie’s sweatshirt, which she stole from her girlfriend after their first date at the ice cream shop. The sweatshirt was soaked with tears and Alex’s throat felt raw from all the crying, her head pounding, wondering if the headache was hers or Maggie’s- probably both.

She let Kara hold her as she calmed down, only to start crying again when Kara asked her what happened. But she somehow managed to tell her, even through all the tears. Kara just listened and handed Alex tissues from the bedside table when she needed them, held her tighter as Alex’s body wracked with sobs.

When Alex was done talking she just pulled her even closer to her and just held her, and Alex knew she was listening to her heartbeat because she was holding her extra tight till it calmed down.

Yesterday night Kara slept in Alex’s bed, and for once Alex was the one who needed to be held to keep the bad dreams away.

“I’m sure she’s not mad at you,” Lucy pulled her out of her thoughts.

They were all sitting at one of the lunch tables, waiting for Maggie to come. James said she just went to get something from her locker, and that she wouldn’t be long, but it had already been more than five minutes and Alex couldn’t help the rising panic in her chest.

Alex looked up at her best friend, wondering if she looked as broken as she felt. “I acted like such a dick, Luce,” she said, her voice sounding hollow to her own ears.

“You were just trying to help her, Alex.”

Alex just scoffed, shaking her head. “You should’ve seen the look in her eyes…  I hurt her, and she’s got a right to be mad at me. Hell, I’m fucking pissed at myself.”

“Alex,” James leaned over Lucy’s shoulder. “I can guarantee she’s not mad at you.”

Alex frowned. “But I can-“

“She’s mad at herself,” James said before she could finish her sentence.

Alex just sat there, staring at him, trying to wrap her head around what James said. Maggie being mad at herself didn’t make any sense to her. After all, she was the one who fucked up, who yelled at and pushed her when she was supposed to just hold her, be there for her however Maggie need her to be.

She took a breath, opening her mouth to ask James what he meant, but then she felt it again. The panic and fear, combined with stinging pain in her palms where she was sure Maggie was digging her fingernails in to keep herself grounded.

She shut her eyes tight, grabbing the table tightly. She could hear all of her friends asking if she was okay but she didn’t answer, couldn’t answer, too focused on taking deep breaths. She felt Kara sit down next and she knew that her little sister rounded the table a bit too fast for a human but she couldn’t even bring herself to scold her for that in the moment, trying to ground herself in the feeling of Kara’s hand resting on the small of her back.

The panic faded as fast as it came, Alex collapsing into Kara’s side, trying not to cry.

“You okay, Alex?” she heard James’s voice.

She sat up straight again, looking at him through the tears that had welled up in her eyes, shaking her head slowly. “You know who’s been doing this to her?” she asked, her jaw clenched.

James frowned at Alex’s question. “What?”

“James, please,” she took a shuddering breath. “I need to know who’s hurting her.”

“She told me it only happened that one time,” he said, his eyes wide.

Of course.

Of course Maggie wouldn’t even tell James, feeling like she could only rely on herself, like she was in it alone again.

Alex clenched her jaw, her grip on the edge of the table tightening. “This is the third time.”

“No.”

“Yeah.”

“I can’t believe I didn’t know,” he shook his head in disbelief.

She wanted to ask him who it was,  _ needed  _ to know, but her phone pinged with a text and Alex decided that talking to James could wait when she saw it was from Maggie, asking her to come to the bathroom nearest to her locker, saying she needed her.

Alex didn’t need any more, getting up from the table in an instant, leaving her lunch untouched as she grabbed her backpack and ran to the bathroom.

“Maggie?” she called as she burst through the door, hearing a faint sniffling from one of the stalls.

“Alex?” she heard Maggie’s voice from the last stall.

She walked over, leaning against the wall, taking a deep breath. “Can I come in?” she asked softly.

“I’m a mess, Danvers,” Maggie chuckled bitterly.

“That’s not what I asked.”

There was a beat of silence, Alex’s heart racing like crazy, before the door opened and she walked in quickly, locking it behind her. “You know, people are gonna start talking if they see us walking out of the same stall,” Maggie said as she wiped her eyes with a bit of toilet paper.

She was trying to lighten up the mood, to hide her feelings, Alex knew that. Her heart felt like it was being torn to shreds as she looked down at Maggie, sitting on the toilet lid, trying to put on a brave face.

She crouched down in front of her, placing her hands on Maggie’s knees after getting a small nod from the other girl. “Wanna tell me what happened?”

Maggie’s bottom lip trembled, fresh tears rolling down her cheeks. “I’m sorry, Alex,” she sniffled before burying her head in her hands. “So sorry.”

Alex didn’t know what to do, her heart breaking at the sight as Maggie kept mumbling apologies into her hands. She took her backpack off, throwing it next to Maggie’s as she kneeled in front of her for better stability. Her hands ran up Maggie’s arms, all the way to her shoulders and then back to her hands, taking them into hers and pulling them away gently.

“Mags, look at me,” she  said, her voice soft, as she waited for Maggie to lower her hands and look up at her through teary eyes. “You have nothing to apologize for, okay?”

Maggie’s lip trembled again as she shook her head, hiding her face in the crook of Alex’s neck rather than her own hands this time. “I thought I could handle it. But I can’t, Alex, I just can’t,” she said as her body wracked with sobs, clutching onto the back of Alex’s flannel. “You deserve so much better than this, Al. I’m so sorry.”

Alex pulled her closer into her, rubbing soothing circles over Maggie’s back, trying to calm her down. “Maggie you didn’t do anything wrong.”

“But I, I did,” Maggie said as she pulled back to look at her, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. “I shouldn’t have left yesterday, not like that, not when you were just trying to help me.”

“No, Maggie. That was my bad… I shouldn’t have reacted like that. I should’ve, I should’ve-“

“No.” Maggie shook her head. “You were just trying to help me and I acted like an ass… And I’m sorry for that.”

Alex just shook her head, kissing Maggie’s temple before she pulled her closer, holding her tighter. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you,” she whispered into Maggie’s hair. “I’m sorry.”

“I would’ve done the same, Danvers,” Maggie chuckled when she pulled back, letting Alex wipe the fresh tears away with the sleeve of her flannel.

Alex smiled at her softly, her hands resting on Maggie’s knees again. “Wanna tell me what happened?”

She saw Maggie’s jaw clench as she took a deep breath. “I thought I could handle it.”

“Handle what?”

“But I’m just too weak, Alex,” she went on, ignoring Alex’s question. “It just, I, it brings back too many bad memories… And I always fucking freeze.”

Alex could feel her stomach drop as Maggie started sobbing again. She pulled her down into her, sitting on the floor, her back leaning against the wall, not caring about how dirty the tiles probably were, and cradled Maggie against her chest as she held onto her for dear life.

“I got you,” she whispered as she brushed a strand of hair behind Maggie’s ear, kissing the top of her head. “You’re not alone anymore, Maggie. You have me. You’ll always have me.”

Maggie clung to her even tighter at those words, her sobs dying down slowly, her breathing evening out. Alex reached over, tearing a bit of toilet paper and handed it to Maggie to blow her nose, taking it from her, despite Maggie’s protests that it was all snotty and gross and threw it into the toilet.

They sat together in silence for a while. Alex carding her fingers through Maggie’s hair. Maggie resting her head on Alex’s chest, listening to her heartbeat.

“You promise?” Maggie asked, breaking the silence.

“Promise what?”

Maggie took a deep breath, tightening her hold on Alex’s flannel before answering. “That you’ll never leave me,” she said finally, her voice small and Alex’s heart ached as she pulled her closer, held her tighter, her eyes stinging with tears of her own.

“I promise,” she breathed, blinking back the hot tears, kissing Maggie’s head again. “There’s no one I’d rather be with than you.”

Maggie drew in a small shuddering breath. “Not even when I’m being weak and pathetic like this?”

Alex felt her blood boiling at the question, white hot anger flowing through her veins mixed with hatred for the people who made Maggie think about herself like that.

“Maggie Sawyer,” she started, unable to hold her own tears back any longer, letting them flow. “You’re one of the  _ strongest, _ most  _ amazing  _ people I know _.  _ And I know it’s probably hard to stop thinking about yourself like  _ that _ after everything you’ve been through, after all those hurtful things people have said to you, fuck, after what your family did to you… But I’m not one of  _ those  _ people, I’m never gonna think about you as anything but strong, and smart, and amazing, and breathtakingly gorgeous.”

Maggie let out a wet chuckle, looking up at Alex with soft brown eyes. “Careful, Danvers, or people might notice how soft you’ve gone.”

“Don’t even give a fuck,” Alex shook her head, leaning down to capture Maggie’s lips in a soft, brief kiss.

“Malverne,” Maggie said after they’d pulled back.

“Huh?” Alex frowned, blinking a few times.

“I don’t know why but he’s been acting like such a dick lately, cornering me at my locker, calling me… names…”

Alex clenched her jaw, fighting the urge to get up, find Rick and make sure that no one ever finds him again. And at the same time she was cursing herself for not putting the pieces together sooner.

It all made sense.

He’d been asking her out on another date ever since she ran away from the first one, but she turned him down every single time, and considering his anger issues, hurting his ego wasn’t the best idea.

Plus she knew his dad, knew what a raging homophobe he was. Hell, the whole town knew, when he walked around yelling all those things at anyone who so much as looked at him the wrong way, anyone who seemed too different for his liking. And even though Rick had his moments, could be charming and sweet and considerate, he was very close with his dad, looked up to him, wanted to be like him.

And he saw Maggie’s name written on her skin.

Alex knew he wasn’t happy about it, could see it in his eyes when he glanced at her arm. But she never thought he’d give Maggie a hard time for that. If anything she expected him to take it out on her.

“Fuck,” she muttered, closing her eyes, resting her head back against the cool wall. “It’s my fault,” she said when she felt Maggie’s eyes on her.

“What?”

Opening her eyes, she looked down at Maggie. “That night at the party,” she started, her heart skipping a beat at the way Maggie smiled at her, her eyes brightening. “I forgot to roll my sleeve back down when I went to find Lucy. We met him on our way upstairs and… he saw my mark.”

“Oh.”

“Maggie I’m so sorry,” Alex bit her lip as fresh tears welled up in her eyes.

“Hey, no, Alex,” Maggie looked into her eyes, cupping Alex’s jaw softly. “It’s not your fault that he’s a homophobic dickhead.”

“None of this would’ve happened if I just rolled my fucking sleeve back down, Maggie…”

“We can’t hide forever, Al,” Maggie said, her voice small.

Alex looked into Maggie’s eyes, smiling softly as she caressed her cheek. “See, one of the bravest people I know.”

Maggie chuckled, shaking her head as a faint blush colored her cheeks. “Promise me one more thing?”

“Yeah,” Alex nodded.

“Please, don’t do anything stupid,” she said, her expression turning serious at Alex’s frown. “I’m serious, Alex. I know you, I know how impulsive you can be. And yeah, Rick may be a dick but he’s not worth the trouble.”

Alex clenched her jaw, narrowing her eyes at Maggie. “But he hurt you.”

“He never even touched me, Alex.”

“Doesn’t need to touch you in order to hurt you.”

“You know we can’t cuddle if you go to prison…”

“That’s why I’m gonna do a good job hiding the body.”

“Alex.”

“Maggie.”

“Please?”

“Fine,” Alex huffed, rolling her eyes. “I promise I’ll try not to kill him.”

“Thanks babe,” Maggie beamed, pecking Alex’s lips, frowning when she noticed Alex’s look when she pulled back. “What?”

“You called me babe,” Alex explained, her heart feeling so full, as a huge smile spread across her face.

“Yeah, I did,” Maggie’s eyes went wide as she realized. “Is that, is that okay?”

“It’s more than okay, babe,” Alex grinned, leaning down to kiss her girlfriend again, neither of them caring about the fact that they were still sitting on the dirty floor of the bathroom or the shrill of the bell, too lost in each other’s lips.

~ ~ ~

She knew she promised Maggie she wouldn’t hurt him. Well, that she’d try not to kill him. But that didn’t mean she couldn’t think about hurting him, about making him regret even so much as looking at her girl the wrong way.

She was sitting in her Math class, not really paying attention to whatever it was that their teacher was scribbling on the whiteboard, just twirling her pencil between her fingers nervously, and glancing at the clock every few seconds.

Just five more minutes to go.

She heard her phone buzz in her bag and pulled it out when Mrs. Smith wasn’t looking, hiding it behind her pencil case.

**Sawyer:** Alex?

**Me:** Yes?

She looked up from her phone just in time to see Mrs. Smith turning around. She started scribbling everything that was on the whiteboard quickly, pretending she was actually paying attention. She heard her phone buzz again but had to wait a couple of seconds till her teacher turned back around.

**Sawyer:** You okay?

**Me:** Why wouldn’t I be?

**Sawyer:** I can literally feel how angry you are

**Me:** Some self-righteous asshole’s been treating my girlfriend like shit

**Me:** I think I have a right to be pissed off

“Ms. Danvers?” her head snapped up as Mrs. Smith called her name.

“Yes?” she asked, eyes wide. She wasn’t one of the kids who would text in class, she never really understood why they played with their phones instead of paying attention.

“I asked if you could show the class the solution to this problem,” Mrs. Smith said, handing her the marker as Alex stood up and walked over to the board. Thankfully it didn’t take her long to solve it, she handed the marker back to Mrs. Smith, a proud smile on her face, as she made her way back to her seat.

As soon as the teacher turned around again Alex checked her phone to see if Maggie had sent her any messages, finding a couple.

**Sawyer** : Of course you do

**Sawyer** : But please don’t do anything stupid?

**Sawyer** : I know it’s Friday and you have a sister’s night with Kara but I was thinking that we could maybe grab some milk shakes after school?

**Sawyer** : I hate how I walked out on our date yesterday… let me make it up to you?

Alex smiled at her phone, biting her lip as she typed out her reply.

**Me** : milkshakes do sound good…

**Sawyer** : cool… meet you at my locker after the lesson?

**Me** : sounds great xx

The last two minutes went by incredibly slowly, Alex staring at the clock to make it go faster. When the bell finally rang, after what felt like a lot more than just two minutes, Alex was out of her seat and on her way to Maggie’s locker before all the other kids even packed their notebooks into their bags.

She was just about to turn the corner when she felt the now familiar feeling, her stomach dropping, her lungs feeling empty. She dug her nails into her palms as anger replaced panic. Rounding the corner she saw him, towering over Maggie, a cocky sneer on his face.

Alex’s heart broke when she saw Maggie. Her shoulders squared, back straight, head up, fists and jaw clenched, putting on a brave face even though she was so close to breaking.

She didn’t stop, didn’t warn him, before grabbing his shirt and slamming him into the locker right next to Maggie, whose eyes went wide.

“What the fuck is your problem Alex?” he barked, trying to squirm away from the tight hold she had on his shirt as she pressed him against the locker.

“My problem?” she scoffed, slamming him into the locker again. “What the fuck is your problem?”

“Alex, let him go,” she heard Maggie’s soft voice, felt her gentle hand on her shoulder. “He’s not worth it.”

“Listen to your little dy-“

“Don’t you fucking dare finish that sentence,” Alex practically growled. “You speak to her again, hell, you so much as look at her again and I promise you, you’ll be in a world of pain.”

She made sure to slam him against the lockers one more time before letting go. She turned back around to Maggie, looping her arm around her shoulders as she shot Rick one last warning glare.

Both of them were silent on their way out of the school, just clinging to one another as they walked across to parking lot.

“I can’t believe you actually did that,” Maggie said when they were both sitting in her car.

Alex looked over at her girlfriend. “I know I promised I’d try but when I saw him just… I couldn’t, Mags. I’m sorry but I couldn’t.”

Alex’s eyes widened as Maggie looked at her with the faintest sign of a smile on her lips. “You’ve nothing to apologize for Alex.”

“No?”

“No,” Maggie shook her head, reaching over the center console to take Alex’s hand into hers. “Thank you, for standing up for me. God knows people usually don’t do that for me.”

“I’m not just people,” Alex said, air quoting the last word with one hand as she squeezed Maggie’s hand tighter with the other one. “Maggie you’re my soulmate. And you better get used to this because I’m  _ always _ gonna stand up for you, no matter what.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” she nodded, squeezing Maggie’s hand tighter as she brought it to her lips, kissing it softly.

“Can we, uh, I’m,” Maggie stumbled over her words, brushing a few loose strands of her own hair behind her ear. “I’m sorry but I don’t think I’m really in the mood to go out…”

Alex just smiled softly at her girlfriend, bringing her other hand to cover their intertwined fingers. “Cuddles at my place?” she asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Hmm,” Maggie grinned, nodding her head slowly. “Might get some more than cuddles after what you just did to Rick.”

“Huh?” Alex’s eyes went wide at Maggie’s suggestive smirk, heat pooling into her cheeks and… other places.

“Honestly? That might’ve been the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.”

Alex grinned, licking her lips, as she watched Maggie’s cheeks flush a light pink at her admission. “Is that so, Sawyer?”

“Yep,” Maggie nodded quickly, her cheeks going even brighter.

Alex leaned over to kiss her slowly, feeling the mix of hers and Maggie’s arousal coursing through her veins. She nipped at Maggie’s bottom lip before pulling back, taking in the look in Maggie’s eyes.

“Take me home then,” she husked, grinning at the way Maggie’s throat bobbed as she swallowed thickly.

~ ~ ~

They had some time before Kara would get home. Knowing her sister, Alex was sure she’d stop by the bakery to pick up some donuts on her way and spend at least ten minutes talking to the person behind the counter, so they had about forty minutes till Kara would get home.

Forty minutes that Alex didn’t plan on wasting.

She closed the door behind them as they walked into her room, throwing her backpack onto her chair. Turning around to look at Maggie who was looking at her surfing trophies. She walked behind her, wrapping her arms around Maggie’s waist she rested her chin on her shoulder.

“I’ve never seen you surf,” Maggie said, placing her hands over Alex’s.

Alex grinned, kissing Maggie’s shoulder. “I could teach you, if you wanted…”

“Yeah?” Maggie turned her head to the side, flashing Alex one of her dimpled smiles.

“Yeah,” she nodded, kissing Maggie’s dimpled cheek. “Tomorrow?”

“Sounds perfect.”

“Great,” Alex smiled as she started walking backwards slowly, kissing Maggie’s neck and pulling her to her bed.

Maggie laughed, turning around in Alex’s arms, she looked at her, tilting her head and cocking one eyebrow. “What are you up to, Danvers?”

“Nothing,” Alex shook her head, trying to put on her most innocent face.

“Hmm,” Maggie hummed as Alex turned them around, Maggie’s back facing the bed now. She buried her face in Maggie’s neck, placing a soft kiss on the place where her neck meets her shoulder, making Maggie giggle. “Sure seems like nothing to me, Danvers.”

Alex looked up at her, a pout on her face, which only made Maggie laugh even more, Alex’s heart feeling so full at the sight, placing a chaste kiss to Alex’s lips. She pushed Maggie a couple more steps backwards before the backs of her knees hit the bed. But instead of falling backwards like Alex hoped she would, Maggie just sat down, looking up at Alex with raised eyebrows.

“What?”

“I think I was promised some cuddles,” Maggie grinned as she hooked her fingers into Alex’s belt loops, pulling her closer.

Alex pouted again, not even caring about how stupid she probably looked because Maggie was looking at her with the softest smile on her lips. “And I think I was promised more than cuddles…” she trailed off, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively pulling another laugh from Maggie.

“Is that so, Danvers?” she asked, tilting her head.

“Hmm,” Alex nodded her head as she looped her arms around Maggie’s neck. “For my heroic actions,” she said trying to keep a serious face.

“Well, what can I do, a promise is a promise” Maggie sighed, shuffling back, settling herself comfortably in the middle of Alex’s bed. “Take what you need my hero.”

Alex stood beside her bed, frozen, looking down at Maggie. “Maggie I don’t wanna push you into doing anything you don’t want to. I’m fine with just holding you, or you holding me, even though you’re pretty small to be the big spoon… But I’d never do anything you don’t-“

“Danvers,” Maggie cut her off. “I swear to god if you don’t get your ass over here kiss me in the next five seconds I’m leaving.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“Four.”

Alex’s eyes went wide as she quickly climbed onto her bed, hovering over Maggie uncertainly, her heart hammering like crazy. “This okay?” she checked in with her girlfriend, receiving a blinding smile and a nod in response.

“Perfect.”

Alex smiled at her as she brushed her thumb along Maggie’s jaw, leaning in to finally kiss her.

“Wait,” Maggie stopped her, her hand on Alex’s chest. Alex moved to get off of her girlfriend, eyes wide and panicked, thinking she did something wrong, but Maggie’s hands on her shoulders stopped her, pulling her back down. She leaned up to place a quick kiss onto her lips, Alex’s body relaxing at the soft brush of their lips.  “Relax, you didn’t do anything wrong,” Maggie smiled tenderly, the smile replaced by a frown mere seconds later.

“Then why the…” Alex’s brow furrowed as she tapped one finger against Maggie’s forehead, the corners of Maggie’s mouth twitching slightly.

“Say you didn’t mean it.”

“Didn’t mean what, babe?” Alex asked, loving the way the pet name rolled off of her tongue, making Maggie smile for a brief second before she scolded her features again.

“That I can’t be the big spoon because I’m short.”

“I mean, you are pretty short…” Alex trailed off, earning a playful slap to her shoulder.

“Alex.”

“Yes, short people can be big spoons,” she relented. “Can I finally kiss you now? Please?”

“Well since you asked so nicely…” Maggie shrugged.

Alex just shook her head, leaning down to finally capture her girlfriend’s lips. Maggie tangled one of her hands in Alex’s hair as Alex swiped her tongue across her bottom lip, smiling at the sigh that Maggie let out.

She shifted her weight so that one of her hands was cradling Maggie’s head, the other tracing patterns on her ribcage, over her shirt. She felt a blush creep up her cheeks as she let out a whine when Maggie bit on her bottom lip, pulling slightly.

She could feel Maggie’s cocky grin on her lips. Deciding to wipe it off Alex did the same, feeling Maggie open her mouth just enough to swipe her tongue in, brushing against Maggie’s. Maggie let out a whimper that had Alex’s hips bucking into Maggie’s thigh.

She felt Maggie tugging on the sleeve of her left hand, the one that was tracing patterns over her ribcage, just under her bra, and pulled back quickly, spluttering apologies.

“Alex, hey, no, it’s okay,” Maggie reassured her, taking her hand and placing it back. “I was just thinking if you could… You know what, it’s stupid anyways, just forget it,” Maggie shrugged, pulling her into another kiss with the hand that was tangled in her hair.

“Maggie,” she stopped her before their lips could meet, looking deep into her eyes. “What do you need?”

Maggie swallowed thickly, taking a deep breath. “I was just thinking, if you could maybe roll up your sleeve? I know it’s stupid but I just-”

“It’s not stupid,” Alex cut her off, placing a soft kiss on Maggie’s nose before she kneeled between her legs, trying to undo the button on her cuff so she could roll it up.

Maggie propped herself up on her elbows, watching as Alex struggled with the button. “Need help, Danvers?”

“It’s fucking stuck,” Alex huffed, extending her arm to Maggie so she could try. After a few moments of unsuccessful fumbling with the button Maggie gave up, telling Alex that it was okay, trying to pull her down into another kiss. Alex put a finger up, stopping Maggie, “What if I, uh,” she knew her cheeks were flaming red but she couldn’t really help it with what she was about to ask. “What if I take the shirt off?”

She looked up at Maggie just in time to see how her jaw clenched, throat bobbing as she swallowed roughly. “I mean, I, uh, if, if you don’t mind then, uh, yeah, sure,” she nodded eagerly, stumbling over her words.

“Okay,” Alex said after she cleared her throat, bringing her shaky hands to the buttons of her flannel.

It wasn’t like Maggie had never seen her shirtless before, but this was different. This was nothing like being walked in on while changing, or feeling Maggie’s eyes on her as they changed before or after gym class. This was something new.

Maggie sat up, covering Alex’s hands with her own as she looked into her eyes. “Let me?” she asked, her voice small.

Alex nodded, letting her hands fall to her sides as she watched Maggie’s face while her fingers undid all the buttons on her flannel, trembling slightly. Maggie’s eyes were focused on the buttons, switching to Alex’s eyes as she popped the last one.

Alex took Maggie’s hands into hers, kissing them softly, before she let Maggie pull the shirt off of her shoulders, watching Maggie’s eyes the whole time, trying to connect the look in her eyes with the feelings that she was resonating.

Her heart was slamming like crazy, and for a moment she wondered if Maggie could hear it. She watched as Maggie’s eyes grew wide as she slipped Alex’s shirt off completely, taking in the newly exposed skin, and for a second there, Alex felt like covering herself up, not used to someone looking at her with such intensity.

“Wow,” she breathed after a while, meeting Alex’s eyes again. “You’re just… wow.”

Alex chuckled, shaking her head as she leaned in closer, placing a soft kiss on Maggie’s lips. She was about to push Maggie back down into the pillows when she felt her pulling back.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, her eyes searching Maggie’s face.

“Nothing,” Maggie shook her head, a shy smile on her lips. “I just thought, well, that you might want to take mine off as well…”

“Oh,” Alex breathed, her eyes wide, cheeks burning even more, heart pounding like crazy. Maggie Sawyer, shirtless, in her bed. She was fairly certain she died and somehow got to go to heaven.

“Only if you want to, of course!” Maggie pulled her out of her thoughts and Alex realized she was probably staring too long.

“I do!” she nodded eagerly. “I mean, if you’re okay with it. I don’t want you to do anything just because you feel like you have to do it… Cause you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, of course and-“

“Alex.”

“I’m rambling again, aren’t I?”

“Hmm,” Maggie nodded, smiling softly. “Now, do you wanna do it yourself or should I?”

“I wanna do it!” Alex rushed out, swallowing thickly.

“Okay,” Maggie nodded, shuffling closer to Alex.

Alex just stared at her, frozen for a few moments, before Maggie took her hands and placed them on the hem of her shirt, giving Alex a reassuring nod when she looked at her one more time. Then she was lifting the shirt up and over Maggie’s head, throwing to the side, somewhere in the direction of Alex’s discarded flannel.

“Holy shit,” she breathed, eyes going wide as they landed on Maggie’s toned stomach. Her mouth went dry at sight in front of her. Maggie Sawyer, shirtless, wearing a black sports bra, her abs flexing as she laughed at Alex’s expression, in her bed. Yep, she was in heaven.

“Like what you see, Danvers?” Maggie grinned at her as Alex finally met her eyes.

Unable to speak in that moment, Alex just nodded her head quickly before surging forward and capturing Maggie’s lips once again. She pushed her back so she would lie on the bed again, Alex hovering over her. She felt one of Maggie’s hands on her back, the other tangling in her hair again, pulling her closer into her. They both sighed when their skin touched, deepening the kiss.

Alex was suddenly being flipped over, looking up at Maggie’s smug grin, her dark hair cascading around her face. “Hey,” Maggie grinned, looking down at Alex.

“Not fair,” Alex pouted, making Maggie shake her head as she placed a soft kiss to Alex’s lips before moving to her cheek, her jaw, and down to her neck. Alex whined, moving her hands to Maggie’s ass as Maggie nipped her way down her neck, before biting and sucking on her pulse point, soothing the mark with her tongue.

“Did you just give me a hickey, Sawyer?” Alex craned her neck, trying to look at the spot that she was sure was starting to turn red.

Maggie looked at Alex’s pulse point, feigning a gasp. “That was totally unintentional.”

Alex shook her head at her girlfriend’s antics and flipped her over, grinning at Maggie’s surprised gasp. She kissed the underside of Maggie’s jaw, nibbling her way to Maggie’s ear and down, to where her shoulder meets her neck, biting down and sucking before licking over the newly formed hickey, a proud grin on her face as pulled back, admiring her work.

“You just had to, Danvers, didn’t you?” Maggie sighed, shaking her head.

“Don’t act like you didn’t like that, Sawyer,” Alex frowned before leaning up and kissing Maggie’s chin.

“Well…”Maggie trailed off, earning a playful swat to her arm. “Kiss me again?” she asked, her eyes so soft and Alex couldn’t get to her lips fast enough.

She let Maggie flip her over again, her heart leaping at the way Maggie grinned into the kiss. Alex tangled her fingers in Maggie’s hair, pulling her closer as Maggie’s hand skimmed up her ribcage hesitantly, stopping just under her bra, Alex’s heart hammering like crazy.

Alex whined as Maggie bit her bottom lip, feeling her hand moving higher ever so slightly. She moved one of her hands to Maggie’s back, pulling her closer into her, breathing out a ‘yes’ as Maggie pulled back, needing her permission before she let her hand go any higher.

Maggie’s fingers skimmed the underside of her bra ever so gently, moving up slowly, Maggie looking into Alex’s eyes the whole time, both of their hearts thudding in their chests.

But before she could do anything else the door to Alex’s room flew open, tearing both of them out of their perfect little bubble.

“You won’t  _ believe  _ the day I’ve-“ Kara cut herself off mid-sentence when she noticed the couple, lying on the bed, tangled in each other, neither of them moving, Maggie covering her big sister’s body with her own.

“Little Danvers,” Maggie greeted awkwardly after a few moments of silence had passed, Kara not saying anything just staring at them with wide eyes.

“Kara can you give us a minute?” Alex asked, her voice more amused than annoyed.

“A minute, yeah, sure, of course,” Kara muttered as she made her way out of Alex’s room. “Bleach. I’ll need a lot of bleach.”

Alex started laughing as soon as Kara shut the door behind her, Maggie burying her face in her neck, groaning.

“A way to make an impression on your little sister,” she mumbled against Alex’s neck.

“Oh come on,” Alex threaded her fingers through her hair, “Kara  _ loves  _ you.”

“Didn’t you say she wasn’t supposed to come home for,” Maggie glanced at the clock, “twenty more minutes, Alex?!”

“I think that’s got something to do with what she was about to tell us before she noticed,” Alex chuckled, gesturing at the two of them, “This.”

“Ugh,” Maggie groaned, placing a soft kiss to Alex’s lip before she got up, walking over to where Alex had thrown her shirt. Alex’s heart nearly stopped at the sight, a shirtless Maggie Sawyer with kiss swollen lips and a fresh hickey on her neck, standing in her room.

“Do you have to put it on?” Alex asked as she propped herself up on her elbows, getting a confused frown from Maggie. “Huh?”

“You know, topless is a good look on you, Sawyer,” she grinned, biting her lip as Maggie pulled her shirt over her head, throwing Alex her flannel.

“Likewise, Danvers,” she grinned, walking over to the bed, hovering over Alex. “But I don’t think Kara would appreciate the two us walking around topless.”

“Who cares?”

“You do, babe,” Maggie grinned, pecking Alex’s lips once more.

“Yeah,” Alex whined, scrunching up her nose. She pulled her flannel on while Maggie went to get her backpack, smiling at the way Maggie watched her while she buttoned it up.

She walked Maggie to the door, refusing to let go of her girlfriend.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Alex,” Maggie promised, giving Alex one last soft kiss before walking out the door.

“Tomorrow,” Alex smiled, watching as Maggie got into her car and drove off with a wave and a big smile on her face, Alex’s heart feeling full.

~ ~ ~

“So I take it you guys are good?” Kara asked as she sat down next to Alex, pulling a blanket over the two of them, popping some popcorn into her mouth, tearing her eyes away from the screen for a moment to look over at her sister.

“Hmm,” Alex nodded, her smile not having faded ever since Maggie left.

“I’m happy for you, Alex,” Kara smiled, nudging her sister’s shoulder with her own gently, careful not to dislocate it like she had a few times before.

“Thanks Kara,” Alex bumped her back, the Kryptonian barely moving at the contact.

Kara looked back at the screen, taking a deep breath. “Don’t need to know  _ how _ good you guys are though.”

Alex snorted at the look in her little sister’s eyes. “Yep, don’t worry about that.”

Both of the turned their attention to Mama Mia- it was Kara’s turn to choose the movie. Alex tried to pretend she hated it but she couldn’t keep it up for long, joining Kara in singing along to the familiar tunes.

“Oh and a warning would be nice the next time you decide to… uh… do that,” Kara said when they were halfway through the movie. Alex chuckled when she saw how red her little sister’s cheeks were.

“You weren’t supposed to come home for another twenty minutes, Kara. It’s not our fault.”

“I’ve told you that the bakery was closed!”

“Yes, I know, you’ve told me like a million times.”

“That’s because I’m traumatized, Alex!” Kara sighed dramatically dropping her head on her sister’s shoulder.

Alex shook her head at her little sister’s antics, shoving some popcorn into her mouth. “Heard that like a million times as well.”

“Stop making fun of my trauma,” Kara frowned, looking up at Alex. “Hey, what’s that on your neck?”

“What?”

“Here,” Kara said poking into the spot where Alex knew Maggie left a hickey not even an hour ago.

Eyes wide, she covered the spot with her hand, staring at the TV. “It’s nothing.”

Kara peeled her hand off of the spot, looking at it closely. “Doesn’t look like nothing to me, Alex,” she said, shining at it with her phone.

“I’m pretty sure it’s nothing, Kara,” Alex felt her cheeks go redder the longer Kara stared at the hickey.

“We should probably have Eliza take a look at it just in ca-”

“No!”

“Alex?”

“I promised you no more traumatizing, Kara. So stop making it so hard for me.”

“Oh,  _ oh, _ ” Kara’s eyes went wide as she finally got it. “Ew.”

Alex grinned apologetically, her cheeks bright red, feeling too happy to care about the disgusted look on her little sister’s face.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos are great and your comments give me so much life (and my pal says that i'm actually getting better at replying even tho it's still stressful as fuck)  
> (also i'm posting this at 1am so please appreciate me? :D)
> 
> anyways, i hope you enjoyed this hella long chapter and that you're all coping with the event that shall not be named, i know it's hard but look at mama bear, she's staying strong and flipping the cw off as much as she can so #staystrongformamabear ?? 
> 
> if you need someone to talk to about it you can always message me on tumblr, peggycarterislife, or if you just wanna stop by and say hi that's cool too:)


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kara's day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so this is not really an actual chapter (i'm sorry!) but RunToStandStill commented on the last chapter, asking about Kara's shitty day (and who am i to say no??) and i wanted to write like a few sentences for them but then it was over 1k and apparently you can only reply with 4k character?? fuck you too ao3?? and my friend who helps me with replying said that i should post it.. so i hope y'all enjoy this at least a little bit (please note my passive aggressive middle finger to the CW)
> 
> and RunToStandStill i hope this is enough?? :D

Since she slept in Alex's bed that night she didn't set her alarm. But in the morning she just slept through Alex's alarm, knowing how unnecessarily early her sister wakes up and leaves for school. So Eliza woke her up and she was so late she had barely any time for breakfast and a hungry Kryptonian is not a happy Kryptonian. (I mean, she did eat four toasts and an omelette from six eggs but we all know Kara...) 

 

And of course Eliza had to leave right after waking her up so she couldn't drive her to school and of course she almost missed the bus and the fact that she has superspeed made it so much worse because DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HARD IT IS TO RUN AT A HUMAN SPEED WHEN YOU'RE RUNNING LATE???? But thankfully she did make it, and thought her day would be just fine, talking about the Last Jedi with Winn on their way to school.

 

Her first lesson was with Mrs. Reynolds, and everyone knows how much Kara LOVES Mrs. Reynolds- and no, it's not because of how green her eyes are or how the waves of her long dark hair frame her face or how pretty her smile is or how there's butterflies in Kara's stomach any time she talks to her or tells the whole class how great Kara's essay was. So Kara just walked into class, with a big smile on her face, looking forward to another lesson with her favorite teacher who she TOTALLY DIDN'T have a crush on, and then she froze when she noticed the pile of essays on Mrs. Reynolds's desk, remembering the essay she wrote like A WEEK AGO, which was lying on her desk at home, because OF COURSE she forgot to take it in her haste. So she had to go and tell Mrs. Reynolds and apologize and she didn't seem mad, told Kara it was okay as long as she brought it to her first thing on Monday morning, but Kara couldn't help the crushing feeling in her chest, feeling like she let down her favorite teacher (WHO SHE TOTALLY DIDN'T HAVE A CRUSH ON). 

 

Then the ABSOLUTELY WORST part of her day, witnessing the horrible resonation Alex had on lunch break, hearing her sister’s heart beat like crazy while she gasped for breath as if she was under water. Alex told her how bad they were, she remembered how bad they were before, when Maggie still lived in Blue Springs, and although she didn’t know, didn’t even think of asking Alex, she hated the people who were responsible for whatever happened to Maggie. And seeing Alex like that, gasping for air, grasping the table, her knuckles white, was pure torture to Kara because she couldn’t do more than put her hand on her sister’s back, to try to anchor her to this world, and wait till it passed. 

(And it was moments like this one that made Kara wonder if she was actually lucky to not have a soulmate. Even though sometimes she felt like she maybe actually did have a soulmate. Like sometimes her emotions weren’t her own. But those feelings were usually gone before she could actually let herself start thinking about the possibility that after all there is someone out there, waiting just for her.)

 

The rest of the day went just fine, but when she went to pick up donuts for sister night (Totally not looking forward to see the cute baker, Jessie, who was always so sweet to her and sometimes gave her free donuts and croissants and his smile was just as bright and shiny as Mrs. Reynold’s and his eyes were so deep and so brown and so soft.. And yeah she TOTALLY didn’t have a crush on him either.) But the bakery was closed and there was a note on the door saying that it was because Jessie was sick and if Kara’s heart ached a little it was TOTALLY just because she hated the thought of someone as sweet and as kind as he was lying sick in bed. 

 

So she just went to the store to grab some ice cream and popcorn but she hated going to the store because the cashier never smiled at her and whenever she tried being nice she just received a rather unpleasant glare in return.

 

But she did get the ice cream, and she did get the popcorn, and the ice cream was mint chocolate chip and she made sure to take the popcorn with extra butter because she knew that was Alex’s favorite and she wanted Alex to be happy, because Alex deserved to be happy, and Kara wanted to make sure she was okay after seeing her… like that today. 

 

And then she was on her way home, walking maybe a little faster than a human would, but just because she wanted to get to her big sister as fast as she could, just so she could hold her, to make sure she was okay, not gasping for breath, her heartbeat calm. 

 

In her haste to get to her sister she didn’t even realize that there wasn’t just one heartbeat coming from her sister’s room, didn’t pay much attention to the gasps that she heard, thinking it was probably just the neighbours (AGAIN). But then she was bursting through the door, ready to rant about her day, to get her sister’s mind off of her Maggie situation, even though she was sure Alex would tease her about her crushes that were TOTALLY NOT CRUSHES, and then she turned around, stopping herself mid-sentence, noticing that Alex didn’t really seem like she minded having Maggie on her mind… or rather literally ON HER. 

 

And after that she was sure that nothing worse could happen that day but then when she was finally watching Mama Mia with Alex, noticing how much it took for Alex not to sing along and pretend she hated it, and she leaned against her big sister’s shoulder, listening to her heartbeat, which was calm and steady, the familiar thud-thud that had been Kara’s anchor ever since she came to this world. But then she looked up at her sister and her eyes noticed a mark on her neck and she wasn’t very familiar with human diseases but she was pretty sure that having deep purple marks on necks wasn’t normal, so she told Alex and she could hear her heartbeat increase, and could hear the slight panic in her voice and she got scared, scared until Alex said that she promised she wouldn’t traumatize her any more and then she got it.

 

And as horrified as she was, she was actually happy for her sister, because her sister was happy and her sister was safe and her sister was very obviously falling in love with her soulmate and her sister’s soulmate was very obviously falling in love with her sister and even though that meant she would probably see more of those marks (which thankfully weren’t a disease), she didn’t mind. As long as Alex was happy and safe, Kara was happy and content.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i KNOW this was not an actual chapter, but i would still love it if you left me some feedback?? :D (maybe some kudos??)
> 
> and as always, feel free to come and say hi to me on tumblr, peggycarterislife, i love talking to y'all


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> maggie panicks, they go surfing and alex finally introduces maggie to eliza THE MOM danvers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i KNOW it took me longer than i said it would to update and i'm sooo sorry but.. uh.. life happened i guess?? anyways here have another long chapter (even longer than the last one...) and i hope it's worth the wait... :D

She loved the length of her hair.

It was just perfect for the hot Californian weather and it didn’t take ages to dry off.

But now, as she was staring at her reflection in the mirror, dressed in an oversized sleeping shirt, that didn’t really cover her neck, she so desperately wished it was longer.

Well, either that or for some weird natural phenomenon to happen to give her an excuse to wear a turtleneck. Or a scarf. Just... something to hide the fairly big deep purple mark right in the middle of her neck.

Because as much as she loved the feeling of Maggie nipping and sucking on her neck she was sure Eliza wouldn’t be quiet about it.

When she came home, Alex was huddled in a blanket, and the light wasn’t on in the living room, the TV screen being the only source of light in the room, so of course she didn’t see it then. And Alex was so damn relieved. But then Eliza asked her to come talk to her before bed and Alex’s heart was racing like crazy- she was honestly surprised Maggie hadn’t sent her a text or called her to ask if she was okay.

She took a deep breath to still her nerves and headed downstairs, praying that her mom was sitting in the kitchen, sipping on her wine and going through the latest lab results without the lights on.

Of course she wasn’t.

But thankfully she didn’t turn around when Alex walked in and there was a barstool to her right on which Alex could sit on, and if she managed to go the whole conversation without turning, she should be fine.

“What’d you wanna talk about, mom?” she asked as she slipped onto the barstool, mentally patting herself on the back.

“Hmm,” Eliza hummed as she put up one finger, pointing the other to the paper to show Alex she was nearing the end of the paragraph. It didn’t take her long, not even a minute, but during that one minute Alex went through her mental list of things she did.

Her mom didn’t ask her to  _ come talk to her _ very often, and when she did it was mostly because she was in trouble. Alex was sure it wasn’t because of the party, Eliza would’ve said something sooner if she knew. The only other thing that she could think of was shoving Rick into the locker and threatening to beat the living shit out of him, but that couldn’t be it. And even if it was, and Eliza was about to give her a speech about how disappointed she was, Alex would do it again if it meant keeping Maggie safe.

Maggie.

Alex felt her stomach drop when she remembered the comment her mom made a few days ago, something about giving her the wrong sex talk… And Alex thought she’d let it go but maybe she knew Maggie was here today, and maybe she somehow knew what they did, and maybe it was all because she noticed that damn hickey on her neck, and now she changed her mind and was ready to give Alex the right sex talk.

Alex didn’t even realize she let out a groan until Eliza turned to look at her, an apologetic grin on her face. “I’m sorry sweetie, I know I’m bringing a lot of work home these past few days but we’re so close to finally-,” Eliza cut herself off, noticing how Alex suddenly found the magnets and pictures on their fridge very interesting. “Alex are you okay?”

“Me? Pfft, yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?” Alex shrugged, feeling her cheeks go red.

Eliza eyed her daughter warily, frowning. “Nothing it’s just that…” the frown was replaced with a big smile seconds later, Eliza’s eyes glinting with something that Alex couldn’t quite name. She waved her hand dismissively, taking another sip of her wine, “How’s Maggie?”

Alex’s eyes went wide at the mention of her girlfriend. “Maggie? Yeah, good, good… She’s good,” Alex said, stumbling over her words, wanting nothing more than to bang her head against the counter.

Eliza turned in her seat, facing Alex, her eyes roaming over her daughter, a concerned frown on her face. “Alex, sweetie, are you sure you’re okay?”

She scoffed and scratched at the back of her neck with her right hand, keeping it there to cover the hickey as she turned to face Eliza, placing her elbow on the counter. “Of course I am!” she said, cringing at how over-enthusiastically that sounded.

“Alex, I’m your mom.”

Alex just frowned, not knowing where her mom was going with that.

“You can tell me anything,” she said, reaching over, trying to take the hand that Alex had plastered over her neck into hers. Alex just stiffened, pressing her palm over the spot even tighter, which left Eliza holding onto her forearm, a confused frown on her face. “Alex.”

“Mom?” Alex tried sounding as innocently as she could.

Suddenly Eliza burst out laughing, making Alex wonder how many glasses of wine she’d had before this one. “Oh my god,” she shook her head, wiping a tear away.

“Are you okay, mom?” she asked, genuinely concerned.

Eliza took a deep breath to calm her laughter and looked at Alex, a shit-eating grin on her face, and Alex just knew she was fucked. “You have a hickey on your neck, don’t you?”

“What? No,” she shook her head, scoffing. “How would I even get a hickey on my neck?”

“I’m fairly sure Maggie would know,” her mom’s grin widened as she raised one eyebrow.

Alex could feel her face going red, letting her head fall and bang against the counter, groaning as she hit her forehead harder than she intended. “How?” she whined, face still against the counter, too embarrassed to look at her mom.

“Alex, I love you, but you honestly couldn’t be more obvious,” her mom laughed.

Alex sat up straight, trying to glare at her mom even as her eyes fell to the hickey on her neck, an amused smile on her lips. Alex had to fight the urge to slap her hand over the mark again as she felt her cheeks go even redder the longer her mom looked at it. 

“Am I in trouble?” she asked after a moment of silence, voice small.

Eliza met Alex’s eyes, her eyebrows shooting up. “Because of a hickey? Alex, don’t be ridiculous,” she waved her off, taking a sip from her drink.

“Oh thank god,” Alex let out a sigh, her shoulders relaxing but only slightly because she knew she was still in for a  _ lot _ of teasing. “What’d you wanna talk about?”

“I wanted to invite Maggie for dinner tomorrow.”

Alex’s eyes went wide. “Oh.”

“Oh?”

“Oh.”

“Alex I’d really like to finally meet my daughter’s soulmate. She seems like a great girl from what I’ve heard about her.”

Alex couldn’t keep the dopey smile off of her face. “Yeah, she’s amazing.”

“Plus it looks like the two of you have gotten closer,” Eliza said with a shit-eating grin on her face as her eyes dropped to Alex’s neck.

“Oh my god, mom!” she could feel her face going red again, hiding behind her hands. “Can you not?”

“No, I’m sorry sweetie,” Eliza chuckled. “Teasing you is way too easy.”

Alex looked up at her mom, frowning, “I’ll text, Maggie.”

“Great,” Eliza smiled. “Does she have a favorite meal?”

Alex’s frown turned into a soft smile at her mom’s thoughtfulness, her eyes welling up with tears as she jumped off of the barstool and wrapped her mom in a tight hug. “Thank you,” she mumbled against her shoulder as Eliza wrapped her arms around her.

“What for?”

_ For being thoughtful. For accepting me. For being so amazing about all of this. For still loving me the same. For not kicking me out like Maggie’s parents did. _

Alex made sure to blink back her tears before she pulled back, looking at her mom, “Just, thank you.”

Eliza gave her a small nod and that smile that told Alex that she knew exactly what she meant even if she didn’t say it out loud because  _ ‘A mother always knows, Alexandra.’ _

“So, what’s Maggie’s favorite food?”

“I actually don’t know but I’m pretty sure if you cook something I hate she’ll love it.”

~ ~ ~

**Damnvers** : what the fuck Maggie?

Maggie read the text as she stood up from under the table, rubbing at the back of her head, sore from hitting the table when she tried to get up (no, she totally didn’t forget about the table).

It wasn’t her fault her phone fell when she read the text that Alex had sent her. It wasn’t even because of that text that her phone fell and she hit her head. The phone just slipped from her hands, and people hit their heads all the time, okay? It had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that her girlfriend’s mother invited her to dinner. Tomorrow.

Fuck.

**Damnvers** : how even do you hit your head when you’re THAT short???

Maggie snorted at Alex’s last text. She’d never admit it to anyone, not even Alex, that she honestly didn’t really mind Alex’s teasing about her height. If it were anyone else, Maggie would have none of it. But it was her Alex and by now Maggie had come to terms with the fact that she couldn’t do anything that Maggie wouldn’t find endearing.

Even if it was the teasing about her height.

**Me** : seriously babe?

**Damnvers** : sorry!

**Damnvers** : are you okay?

**Damnvers** : it hurts like a bitch… How did you even hit your head so hard?

**Me** : kinda forgot that I was still under the table…

**Damnvers** : what the fuck were you doing under the table??

**Me** : nothing

**Damnvers** : Maggie

**Me** : soooo surfing and then dinner?

Maggie saw the three dots appear and disappear a couple of times before Alex sent her reply, chuckling because she knew her girlfriend was contemplating whether or not to let the table thing be.

**Damnvers** : yes

**Damnvers** : you sure you’re okay with the dinner?

**Damnvers** : it’s not like I don’t want you to meet my mom

**Damnvers** : cause I do!

**Damnvers** : but we totally don’t have to do this if you don’t want to  

Maggie knew she was grinning at the screen of her phone like an idiot but she couldn’t help herself, imagining how cute Alex looks when she gets nervous and starts rambling. And the fact that she said ‘we’ instead of ‘you’ in her last text made Maggie feel all warm and fuzzy.

She stood up from the dining table and put her plate into the dishwasher, heading to the living room where she plopped down on the couch and unlocked her phone to reply Alex, just to find a couple more texts.

**Damnvers** : I KNOW it’s probably too early for you to meet her

**Damnvers** : but she won’t stop talking about how much she wants to meet you

**Damnvers** : and Kara won’t stop talking about you

**Damnvers** : and you know how Kara gets when she’s excited about something

**Damnvers** : and I’ve honestly only seen her this excited when we order pizza and potstickers

**Me** : so Kara’s the one who won’t shut up about me in front of your mom and who’s excited about me being your soulmate?

She grinned as she felt a slight tinge of panic resonate through the bond. Teasing Alex was just way too easy.

**Damnvers** : no!

**Damnvers** : I mean yes

**Damnvers** : but no

**Damnvers** : I mean

After a good minute of watching the three dots appear and disappear, she decided to take mercy on her girlfriend.

**Me** : Danvers calm down

**Me** : I’m just fucking with you

**Me** : and I get it

**Me** : I know Kara’s basically a puppy but I also know you Alex

**Me** : so don’t worry

**Damnvers** : okay… so you’re good with the dinner?

Maggie typed out a quick yes, her heart pounding in her chest like crazy at the thought of meeting Alex’s mom.

She’d heard a lot about the woman. And it was all good stuff but even though they hadn’t talked about it much, she also knew how hard she could be on Alex sometimes. How much she wanted Alex to be perfect. And she also knew how badly Alex wanted to live up to her mother’s expectations, to be the best that she could.

So what absolutely terrified Maggie about meeting Eliza was that she wouldn’t think Maggie was a good enough soulmate for her daughter.

Well, she knew she wasn’t good enough for Alex Danvers because Alex Danvers deserved the best and she was… just Maggie. She wasn’t even enough for her own parents, and those people didn’t deserve the best. Alex did.

Maggie was scared that Alex’s mother would somehow blame the universe’s choice on her daughter. That she’d blame her for how her soulmate wasn’t perfect, how she was as far from perfect as it could get.

**Damnvers** : Mags I can literally feel how nervous you are

**Me** : Al I’m meeting your mom for the first time of course I’m nervous

**Damnvers** : can I call you?

**Me** : sure

Maggie waited a few seconds before her phone started ringing, smiling at the picture of Alex that popped up on her screen. It was a picture of Alex from their first date, laughing with her head thrown back and some ice cream on her chin.

Alex spent like good fifteen minutes after Maggie had taken the picture whining about how awful it is and how Maggie she would murder Maggie in her sleep if she didn’t but Maggie couldn’t help herself, setting it at least as Alex’s contact picture.

Maggie’s smile grew bigger when she picked up and heard Alex’s soft ‘hey’.

“Hi.”

“You’ve nothing to be scared of, Maggie. I’ll be right there the whole time.”

“And I really appreciate that, Danvers, but I don’t think I can not be nervous.”

“Would it help if I held your hand?”

Maggie huffed out a little laugh and she wanted to say something funny, she really did, but instead she asked, “Would your mom be okay with that?”

“Maggie,” Alex breathed and Maggie knew she had the cute little crinkle between her eyes. “Of course she would. There’s not a single day that she doesn’t ask me when she’s gonna get to meet my soulmate.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Plus, she was okay with the hickey so I don’t think she’d be opposed to some hand holding…”

Maggie’s eyes went wide. “She was what now?”

“Okay with the huge purple mark in the middle of my freaking neck, which thanks by the way, you chose a really great spot.”

“So she saw?”

“It’s literally in the middle of my neck, Sawyer. Kinda hard to miss.”

“Fuck.”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah, so, uh, I don’t think I can ever meet your mom after that.”

“Oh, come on,” Alex chuckled. “Don’t be so dramatic.”

“You promise you’ll hold my hand?”

“Cross my heart.”

“Okay.”

“So you’ll come?”

“Of course,” Maggie nodded even though Alex couldn’t see her. “I  _ really  _ wanna see you surf, Danvers.”

“Is that the only reason?”

“Duh,” Maggie said as she bit her lip to keep herself from chuckling.

Alex’s laugh made Maggie’s heart jump in her chest. “You’re so full of shit, Sawyer.”

“Must suck to be stuck with me for forever,” Maggie laughed.

“So far it’s actually pretty great,” Alex’s voice was soft as she spoke, Maggie’s laugh turning into a tender smile.

“Wow, Danvers, you’re so soft.”

“Only for you,” she replied making Maggie scoff. “But I don’t know about forever…”

Maggie felt like someone poured a bucket of cold water over her. She wracked her brain for something to say but she couldn’t, frozen, feeling like her heart was beating a mile a minute and not beating at all at the same time.

“I mean, I don’t know if I can actually live with someone who calls Hawaiian pizza an abomination.”

Maggie blinked a few times, trying to process what Alex just said. “Wait. Was that supposed to be a joke, Danvers? Cause you seriously almost gave me a heart attack.”

“Payback’s a bitch, babe,” Alex said, laughing.

“I hate you so much,” Maggie grumbled, shaking her head.

“No, you don’t.”

“No, I don’t. I actually like you a  _ lot _ , Danvers.”

“Good, cause I like you a  _ lot _ too, Sawyer.”

Maggie couldn’t help the smile that split her face at Alex’s words, biting her lip as she felt a blush spreading across her cheeks. “Good…”

“Aww, look at you!”

Maggie dropped her phone, jumping up at her aunt’s voice. “Oh my god why would you sneak up on me like that?”

“I actually didn’t,” Izzy grinned apologetically.

Maggie frowned. “You didn’t?”

“No,” she shook her head, laughing. “You were pretty immersed in that phone call, Mags.”

“Shit,” Maggie cursed as she picked up her phone from the floor.

“Maggie? Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, yeah don’t worry.”

“Is that Alex?” her aunt whisper-yelled, getting a nod from Maggie. She gave Maggie thumbs up with a huge smile on her face before she disappeared into the kitchen.

“Listen, Al, I should probably go,” Maggie said reluctantly. “My aunt just came home.”

“Oh, okay. Can’t wait to see you tomorrow…”

“Bye, Al.”

“Bye, Mags.”

She took a deep breath, trying to stop smiling but she couldn’t. Getting up from the couch, she walked over to the kitchen, leaning against the doorframe. Izzy was sat at the table, eating dinner, giving Maggie one of her warm smiles when she noticed her.

“Soooo?”

“She’s taking me surfing tomorrow,” Maggie grinned as she plopped down in the seat opposite her aunt.

“Hmm,” Izzy hummed, taking another bite.

“Yeah, I can’t wait.”

“What’s worrying you then?”

“What?” Maggie frowned.

“Maggie I know you and that,” she said, pointing to Maggie’s face. “That’s your ‘I’m scared shitless but I’d rather die than show it’ face.”

Maggie stared at her aunt, her mouth hanging open. She never really understood how she did it, how she knew Maggie so well. Even before Maggie moved in with her, she just always  _ knew  _ when something was up _.  _ Even when Maggie’s mom had no idea.

Not that Maggie’s mom ever really cared about  _ knowing  _ her.

“How?” Maggie asked.

“What how?”

“How do you do it? How do you always  _ know _ ?”

Izzy put down her cutlery, taking a deep breath. “Well, I know I’m not your mom… An aunt always knows?” she shrugged, a weak smile on her face.

Maggie stood up, throwing herself at her aunt, hugging her as tightly as she could, as a few silent tears rolled down her face. “You didn’t answer my question but you did make me cry” she mumbled into her aunt’s shoulder, chuckling. “Good job, Iz.”

“Sorry, kid,” she said as she wrapped her arms around Maggie.

“I love you,” Maggie said, her voice small, as she gripped at Izzy’s uniform shirt even tighter.

“You too, Mags,” Izzy pulled back a bit to place a kiss into Maggie’s hair. “Wanna tell me what’s up?”

Maggie nodded as she pulled back, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, sitting back down. “Alex wants me to meet her mom. Well, Alex’s mom wants to meet me…”

“Is that it?”

“Yeah,” Maggie nodded, looking down at her hands.

“Maggie, look at me,” Izzy said, her voice soft. “You’ve absolutely nothing to worry about. You’re amazing. Her little sister loves you and from what you’ve told me, Alex’s absolutely crazy about you. So, trust me, Alex’s mom’s gonna love you too.”

“You really think so?”

“Of course, you’re a great kid. Only an absolute dickhead wouldn’t think so.”

Maggie nodded, a small smile on her face. She knew Izzy was talking about her parents.

“Okay but, uh,” Maggie took a deep breath, looking back down in her hands. “What if her mom saw the hickey I kind of sort of gave her today?”

“You what now?”

Maggie looked up at her, an apologetic grin on her face. “Left a hickey in the middle of Alex’s neck…”

“Doesn’t Alex have short hair?”

“Well, yeah, kind of…”

“Margaret Ellen Sawyer,” Izzy said with a stern face, and fuck she was full naming her, this wasn’t good. Maggie honestly didn’t think her aunt would be mad about that. “I thought I’ve taught you better than to leave hickeys in visible places.”

“You, I, uh, what?”

“Maggie, come on, use your brain.”

“Wait, you’re not mad?”

“Mad?”

“Yeah?”

“Have I ever actually been mad at you?”

“That one time when I picked all the pineapple off of your pizza and threw it out.”

“Yeah, that was so not cool.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, you’re not.”

“No, I’m not,” Maggie laughed, shaking her head.

Izzy reached over, taking Maggie’s hand into hers. “Listen, hickey or not, she’s gonna love you because you’re you and you’re amazing.”

“You think so?”

“I know it, kid,” she said, smiling warmly.

“Thanks.”

“Now, how about you go pick a movie and I’ll join you when I change?”

“Sounds perfect,” Maggie said as she got up, heading to the living room to pick a movie.

She didn’t really pay attention while watching, thinking about tomorrow, and about how badly she didn’t want to fuck up.

~ ~ ~

It only took five minutes after they’d arrived at the beach for Maggie’s jaw to drop and her brain to stop working.

But honestly who could blame her?

Having seen Alex shirtless she thought she’d be okay today. But here she was, unable to tear her eyes off of her girlfriend, as she took off her hoodie and shorts, and holy shit Maggie had never felt gayer than when she saw Alex in that blue wetsuit top and black bikini bottoms.

“Sawyer?” Alex cocked an eyebrow, a grin spreading across her face when she noticed Maggie was still standing there in her shirt and shorts.

“Yes, yeah, I, uh, sorry,” she stammered as she quickly took her shirt and shorts off, not missing how Alex’s eyes raked over her bikini clad body.

“Wanna go for a swim before we start?”

“Sure,” Maggie nodded, smiling, and totally not staring at Alex’s ass as she walked a few steps in front of her.

The water was colder than Maggie expected so she walked slowly, stopping after every step she took to get used to it. Alex just ran, throwing herself into the water when she was thigh deep. Maggie smiled fondly when Alex flicked her head out of her face, but her smile froze when she noticed the wicked grin on Alex’s face.

“Danvers, no.”

“Danvers, yes.”

Maggie turned around running out of the water but Alex’s arms were around her waist before her feet could touch the sand, spinning her around.

“Alex don’t you fucking dare,” she warned, clawing at Alex’s arms, trying to make her let go but Alex’s grip was strong.

“Mags trust me, it’s better if you do it faster. It’s like tearing off a band aid,” Alex laughed, her breath warm on Maggie’s neck.

“Danvers I swear to god, if you fucking throw me in, you’re dea-“

She couldn’t finish her sentence because suddenly she was pulled under water, gripping at Alex’s arms even tighter. The water was fucking freezing and Maggie was starting to regret this whole beach date thing, no matter how good Alex looked in that wetsuit.

Alex turned her around so she would face her as she pulled her out of the water. One arm still firmly still around her waist as she put the other up so Maggie would let her speak before yelling at her.

“Before you say anything,” she said as she flicked her wet hair out of her face, and damn it if that wasn’t distracting as hell. “I didn’t throw you so technically we’re good.”

Maggie narrowed her eyes, trying to look as unamused as she could while Alex brushed some of her hair behind her ears gently. “I hate you so much, Danvers.”

“No you don’t.”

Maggie frowned as she leaned in, pecking Alex’s lips softly. “Race you to that dude on the inflatable duck and back?”

“What do I get if I win?”

“Uh… A kiss?”

“Okay,” Alex grinned as she threw Maggie into the water to slow her down, swimming as fast as she could.

“That was such a dick move, Danvers!”

As hard as she tried, she couldn’t beat Alex with the little head start she had, and she spent good five minutes grumbling about how it totally didn’t count since Alex cheated- not that she really minded that Alex won.

~ ~ ~

“Oh fuck,” Maggie cursed for what felt like the hundredth time in the past thirty minutes. She’d been practicing hopping onto the surf without overbalancing and with as little adjustment as possible, like Alex showed her. And it looked so easy when Alex did it so Maggie thought it’d be no problem at all, but it turned out to be a lot fucking harder.

Alex helped her the first few tries, holding the surf so Maggie could get the hang of hopping onto it, and that was pretty easy. But then Alex let go and Maggie jumped onto the surf confidently, feeling like she’d mastered this part, just to overbalance and get a mouthful of salty water.

She tried glaring at Alex when she came up, gasping for air, and found Alex laughing with her head thrown back, but Alex pulled closer, holding her with one arm around her waist, while Maggie caught her breath, and Maggie honestly melted at the soft look on Alex’s face when she stopped laughing.

She was more careful after that, more aware of how she was balancing her weight. And after a couple of tries she got better, she still didn’t get it right every single time but she did feel more confident. So she asked Alex what’s next and Alex told her that she had to hop on the board with as little adjustment as possible at least ten times in a row before they could move onto the next thing.

And Maggie thought about herself as a patient person but when she overbalanced on number ten three times she felt like she was going to lose it. But Alex just smiled at her that soft smile and told her that she knew she could do it so Maggie pressed on.

And it might’ve taken a bit too long for Maggie to finally get all ten perfectly but when she finally did she felt maybe a little too proud of herself, she pumped her fist in the air, letting out an excited ‘yes’ that soon turned into another ‘fuck’ as the surfboard overbalanced.

Alex didn’t let her fall into the water this time though, catching the surf just before it tilted enough for Maggie to fall off. “Great job, babe,” she said, smiling down at Maggie as if she felt as proud as Maggie did, not just because of all the pride Maggie was sure she was resonating.

“Thanks,” she breathed, beaming, as she hopped off of the surf. “So what’s next?”

“Next you’re gonna hop on, just like you practiced, and try paddling a few feet. Then you’ll hop off, hop on again, paddle a few feet, and you’re gonna do that till you feel comfortable and confident enough.”

“So I’m just supposed to paddle along the beach like an idiot?”

“Basically, yeah…”

Maggie laughed as she jumped back onto the board without having to adjust much. “Do I get any instructions for this one?”

“Oh, yeah, right, uh… So you wanna tighten your core and raise your chest off of the surf a bit and keep your feet together,” Alex instructed, waiting for Maggie to do as she said before continuing. “Great now, your hands should be cupped and you should use big long strokes.”

“Anything else I should know about?”

“Uh… Your arm should be like elbow deep in the water as it passes through.”

“Okay,” Maggie nodded as she started paddling, trying to focus on all the things Alex told her to do.

It wasn’t as hard as she was expecting it to be but she didn’t felt farm from comfortable as she tried to keep herself from overbalancing as the small waves rocked the surf slightly. But she kept paddling between Alex and some invisible mark a couple feet away from her.

And it wasn’t like she wasn’t enjoying it, because she was, but she felt like she’d been paddling back and forth like a total idiot for hours.

“How much longer, Danvers?” she asked as she hopped off of the board next to Alex.

“I don’t know,” Alex shrugged. “Everyone is different.”

“How long did it take you?”

“I actually don’t know.”

“You don’t know?”

“Nope,” Alex shook her head. “I’ve been surfing ever since I was a little kid.”

“Yeah I’m not even surprised ‘cause the amount of trophies you have in your room is honestly ridiculous,” Maggie laughed.

Alex shrugged, scrunching up her nose adorably as she scoffed. “Yeah it’s whatever…”

“Al, I can barely paddle on this thing without falling over, so it’s not whatever,” Maggie smiled at her as she walked closer to her, lacing the fingers of her free hand together with Alex’s. “It’s crazy impressive.”

Alex ducked her head, a shy smile on her lips.

“Come on you must be cold,” Maggie said, tugging Alex to the beach, the surfboard tucked under her arm.

“I’m not cold,” Alex protested.

“Babe, you’ve been standing here for like an hour and your lips are fucking blue.”

“There’s more fun ways to get my lips warm than dragging me out of the water,” Alex whined.

Maggie laughed, shaking her head. “You’re ridiculous, Danvers.”

“And yet you still like me.”

“Damn right I do.”

~ ~ ~ 

~ ~ ~

She stood under the shower, letting the warm water wash all the salt off of her body and from her hair. And she was definitely not stalling because she had absolutely no reason for that. Because she was super calm and not nervous at all.

Okay maybe she was nervous just a little bit but that was completely reasonable. She was meeting her girlfriend’s mom for the first time, which was a pretty big thing for her even without being Alex’s soulmate.

But the whole soulmate thing just made her that much more nervous. Because Alex deserved perfect, her mother demanded perfect, and Maggie was nowhere near perfect.

Thankfully Eliza went to do some last minute shopping when they came home so Maggie had some more time to prepare herself for the evening.

She washed her hair with Alex’s shampoo, breathing in the sweet scent of lavender, letting it help her calm her down a little bit. It wasn’t the same as smelling it on Alex’s hair but it was enough. After drying herself she wrapped her hair in the towel, pulling on her shorts and Alex’s flannel because she spilled water over her own shirt- totally not on purpose.

She buried her nose in the collar of the shirt, breathing in the thing that was just so distinctly Alex, taking deep breaths, trying to get her heart beat back to normal.

Okay so maybe she was nervous a whole lot, but she didn’t want Alex to worry, or to think she didn’t want to do this, so she tried to push the feeling as deep down as she could, tried to not focus on it. But of course it didn’t work because a few moments later there was a knock on the door, followed by a soft “Mags, you okay?” and Maggie just cursed the whole soulbond thing internally.

She unlocked the door without saying anything and leaned against the counter as Alex let herself in. “What’s wrong?” she asked as she shut the door behind her, walking over to Maggie.

“Nothing…”

“Maggie don’t lie to me,” Alex said softly, looking at her pleadingly with those big brown eyes and Maggie felt like she’d kicked a puppy. “We can literally feel each other’s emotions and I feel like I’m about to throw up.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, Maggie, you’ve nothing to apologize for,” Alex said moving to take Maggie’s hands into hers put she stopped herself before she could touch her. Maggie smiled softly, taking Alex’s hands into hers, giving them a soft, reassuring squeeze. “I just, uh, you know you can tell me anything, right?”

“Yeah.”

“And you know you don’t have to do this whole dinner with my family thing if you’re not comfortable with it.”

“Alex, I wanna do this. I just, I’m meeting your mom for the first so of course I’m nervous,” she shrugged, offering Alex an apologetic grin.

“But you’ve nothing to be nervous about.”

Maggie’s eyes flicked to the bruise on Alex’s neck as she cocked one eyebrow. “Seriously?”

“Oh come on,” Alex laughed. “She’s gonna love you and I bet she won’t even remember this in a couple years.”

“God I hope so.”

“Could you maybe keep your hair down though? Because the shit I’ll get if she notices that,” Alex took in a deep breath, pointing to Maggie’s neck.

“A way to calm me down, babe.”

“No, I mean, my mom just lives for teasing me about, uh, about  _ things…” _

Maggie smirked as she watched the blush creep over Alex’s cheeks. “ _ Things, _ Danvers?”

“Fuck off,” she laughed, swatting at her arm playfully.

Maggie took a deep breath, pulling Alex closer into her as she wrapped her arms around her waist. “You’ll hold my hand like you promised?” she asked, her voice small.

“Of course,” Alex nodded, kissing her forehead. “I’ll be with you the whole time, you’ve nothing to worry about.”

“Okay,” Maggie nodded, resting her forehead on Alex’s shoulder, feeling safe and calm, and she thought that maybe she could do this without being so stressed out.

~ ~ ~

They were sitting in the living room, waiting for Eliza to come back, and Maggie allowed herself to relax a bit, leaning her head against Alex’s shoulder and tangling their fingers together. She wasn’t really paying attention to what the sisters were talking about, feeling how tired she was after the afternoon at the beach.

So she just closed her eyes and listened to the sound of her girlfriend’s voice as she talked to her little sister.

That was until she heard the cheerful, “Girls, I’m home!” as Eliza Danvers walked through the front door. She sat up, looking at Alex with wide eyes as Kara ran to help her mom.

“I’m right here, and you’re amazing,” she said, smiling at her gently. Maggie took a deep breath to compose herself before standing up and letting Alex lead her to the kitchen.

“Mom,” Alex started as they walked through the door, and Maggie squeezed her hand tighter, trying to ground herself. “This is my girlfriend, M-“

“Maggie,” Eliza didn’t even let her finish, walking over to them with a radiant smile on her face. “I’ve heard so much about you! Granted, it was from my younger daughter… But it’s so good to finally meet you!”

“You too, Mrs. Danvers,” Maggie smiled, letting go of Alex’s hand to shake Eliza’s.

“Oh don’t be silly,” Eliza batted her hand away, pulling her into a hug, and okay this was totally not going the way Maggie thought it would. “And, please, call me Eliza.”

Maggie glanced to Alex as she pulled back from the hug, getting a small nod from her girlfriend. “Okay, Eliza,” she smiled as her hand found Alex’s again.

Making small talk with Eliza while they set the table and brought all the food over to the dining room was actually a lot easier than Maggie had expected, there was just something about the woman that made Maggie feel like she belonged. But that did nothing to calm Maggie down, especially when Eliza’s eyes flicked from the flannel Maggie was wearing to Alex, clearly realizing that it was her daughters.

Maggie just hoped no one but Alex could tell how even after receiving such a warm welcome, she still felt like something was about to go horribly wrong, her heart racing a mile a minute.

The worried look that Kara shot her was enough to tell her that she was doing a pretty shit job at hiding how nervous she was. (Unless Kara could hear her heartbeat which would be crazy.)

“Mom what is this?” Alex asked, prodding her portion with a fork, when they were all sitting at the table.

“Lasagna, sweetie.”

“But that’s not pasta.”

“No, it’s zucchini.”

“Why?”

“Well you said that Maggie likes vegan ice cream so I thought why not make something vegan?”

Maggie didn’t even realize her jaw had dropped, staring at Alex’s mom with wide eyes. Because an adult who wasn’t her aunt, who didn’t even know her, remembered such an unimportant little fact about her and made something  _ for her _ . And it took all that Maggie had not to start crying right then and there.

“Mags?” Alex’s voice pulled her out of her thoughts.

“Yeah?”

“You okay?”

“Sweetie, you don’t have to eat it if you don’t like it. We can always order in, I can-“

“No, it’s perfect, Mrs. Danvers, Eliza,” Maggie looked at Alex’s mom, blinking back tears, a weak smile on her face. Alex’s hand found hers under the table, interlacing their fingers together. Eliza just nodded, smiling as if she  _ knew _ , but she didn’t say anything, and Maggie was so damn grateful for that.

“So about that ordering in…”

“Alex, no.”

“But  _ mom _ .”

“Look at your sister,” Eliza pointed at Kara, and Maggie’s eyes went wide because she hasn’t even touched her food yet and Kara’s was almost gone. “She likes it.”

“I foo,” Kara mumbled around a mouthful of lasagna.

“Kara would eat  _ anything  _ and you know that.”

“Alex come on, you haven’t even tried it yet.”

“It’s vegan. I don’t have to try it to know I won’t like it.”

“You did like my ice cream,” Maggie mumbled, earning herself a glare from Alex, and making Eliza laugh.

Alex kept protesting the food for the rest of the dinner, saying how inedible it was after almost each bite. Although Maggie could see how much she actually liked it, too proud to admit that she was wrong.

Kara ate two more servings till Maggie finished her own, which Maggie found incredibly impressive. She knew Alex’s sister ate quite a lot but the fact that she managed to eat three huge servings of lasagna in half an hour was honestly mind blowing.

By the time they ate everything and were about to get up and do the dishes Maggie felt ridiculous for being so nervous about meeting Alex’s mom. The woman was just so warm, Maggie could tell how hard she was trying to make her feel like she was welcome.

“Thank you for dinner, Eliza,” Maggie said, smiling as she put down her cutlery. “It was delicious.”

“I’m glad you enjoyed it, sweetie.”

Maggie got up, taking Alex’s plate and putting it onto hers, moving to take Eliza’s and Kara’s as well but Eliza stopped her as she reached for her plate.

“You’re our guest, Maggie. The girls can take care of the dishes,” she waved her off, looking at Alex and Kara who got up immediately, taking the plates. “Sit down.”

Maggie sank back into her chair, reaching for Alex’s hand again but then she realized that Alex was going to the kitchen and so was Kara and she would stay alone with Eliza.

And oh.

Fuck.

She tried to look as calm as possible though, and if she wasn’t so stressed she’d question the look Kara shot her when her heart started beating like crazy again. Alex gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze before disappearing into the kitchen.

And Maggie was alone with Eliza, trying to stay as calm as possible, or to at least look as calm as possible.

“Maggie,” Eliza’s voice pulled her out of her thoughts, making her look up at her.

“Yes?”

“God knows Alex won’t stay in the kitchen for long,” Eliza chuckled, shaking her head. Maggie drew in a sharp breath, stealing herself for whatever her girlfriend’s mom was about to say. “Maggie, breathe, please.”

“Sorry I just…”

“I’m not going to shovel talk you, don’t worry.”

“You’re not?”

Eliza shook her head, sipping from her water before looking at Maggie. “Alex deserves the best,” she said and Maggie felt like she was going to be sick because here it was, now was the time when Eliza was going to tell her she wasn’t enough for her daughter. “And I see how happy you make her-“

“But I’m not good enough,” she heard herself saying before her brain even processed what Eliza had said.

“What?” Eliza frowned. “Maggie, no. That’s not what I’m trying to say at all… How, I, why would you even think that, sweetie?”

“Because I never am,” she said as she looked away from Eliza, her voice small.

“Maggie, look at me.” Maggie took a deep breath before looking up at Eliza, blinking back the tears that were threatening to fall. “I don’t know who made you feel like you’re not good enough, like you could never be good enough, but I know they couldn’t be more wrong. Because I can see how happy you make my Alex. She hasn’t been this happy in years, not since her dad passed away… And I know that I don’t really know you, Maggie, but from the little that I know about you… I  _ know _ you’re a good person, the perfect person for my daughter.”

“I, uh,” Maggie stared at Eliza, trying get her mouth to work but she couldn’t.

Because she thought Eliza was going to tell her she wasn’t good enough for Alex. But here she was telling her that she was  _ perfect _ for her. And Maggie herself didn’t think she was good enough for Alex, but her mom, the woman that wanted nothing but perfection from Alex, for Alex, was telling her that she more than good enough.

“So all I wanted to say was, thank you, Maggie. Thank you for making my daughter happy again.”

And Maggie didn’t know what to say but she didn’t have to because Eliza was just looking at her with that soft, knowing smile, reaching her hand across the table to give Maggie’s hand a gentle squeeze before the girls came back into the dining room.

Alex eyed the two of them suspiciously, taking Maggie’s hand into hers again just like she promised, looking at her with worried eyes when she noticed the unshed tears. But Maggie just shook her head so Alex let it go, bringing her hand to her lips and kissing it gently. And Maggie didn’t need to look over to know that Eliza was smiling at them, pride shining in her eyes.  

“Monopoly anyone?” Kara called from the living room, making them all groan in unison. But they all got up, all of them complaining just a little, just to tease Kara a bit.

And Maggie hated the game so much, she never really enjoyed playing it. But she didn’t mind playing it now, surrounded by these amazing women. She didn’t really mind the playful bickering about who won because Alex’s arm was draped around her shoulders, and Kara was stuffing her face with popcorn-and god that kid does have an appetite- and she looked just adorable, trying to argue with her mouth stuffed full, and Eliza just sat there, looking at them all with that kind of motherly pride that Maggie hadn’t seen in a long time and she felt accepted and loved.

She finally felt like she belonged. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> KUDOS ARE GREAT AND YOUR COMMENTS GIVE ME SO MUCH LIFE (and make me write ??faster???:D) 
> 
> fun fact: i had the longest argument about vegan food with my friend Annie (the one who helps me reply to all of your lovely comments) she's basically the Charles to my Jake... i also agreed to eat whatever vegan meal she cooks for me so if y'all won't hear from me, you know how i died.
> 
> anyways i don't know when i'm gonna post the next chapter cause i wanna finish my secret santa prompt first... but i promise i'll do my best to update asap!
> 
> also what kinda show gets cancelled 3 episodes in?? weird huh?
> 
> oh and as always, feel free to come say hi to me on tumblr, peggycarterislife (oh and there’s apparently some kinda ongoing bet about who can send me the weirdest/most random ask so feel free to weird me out?? :D)


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AlmostAsGoodAs_I_do asked for some jealous Alex so here ya go :D (she's mostly an emotional mess but hey...)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soo... i KNOW it's been a long time since i last updated and i'm so sorry but as i said i wanted to work on my secret santa prompts... but to make it up to you there's gonna be another one on sunday!! (if life doesn't get in the way)

Maggie didn’t have that many friends. Well, she didn’t really have any except for James, Kara, and Alex. Alex wondered if she considered Lucy and Winn her friends as well now, she hoped she did because she knew how lonely Maggie felt at times, and she wanted nothing more for her girl than a group of people who cared about her at least half as much as she herself did, a group of people Maggie would feel comfortable and safe around, a family of sorts.

So when her eyes scanned the cafeteria, looking for her girlfriend, and her stomach dropped and filled with dread, she felt bad about it, she really did.

Because Maggie and James were sitting at their usual table, waiting for the rest of the group to join them, and Maggie was laughing with her head thrown back and her dimples deep and her eyes shining, and if Alex wasn’t too preoccupied trying to push that dreadful feeling as deep down as she could, she would definitely find herself thinking that four letter word starting with l, that had been on her mind since Saturday night when they all played monopoly and Maggie was curled into her side and just looked so soft and relaxed and happy, and  _ god _ they had barely been dating for two weeks but Alex was pretty sure that she was in love with the girl.

She wondered if it had anything to do with the fact that Maggie was her soulmate because just a month ago she’d laugh at anyone who would tell her they fell in love that fast.

And even though her heart stopped when she saw Maggie laughing like that, looking so carefree, her stomach dropped because it wasn’t James who made her laugh like  _ that _ , it was that new girl, Kate.

When Maggie introduced them on Monday, Alex was happy because her girlfriend never made new friends. She was happy because Kate had the same electables as Maggie, and the two seemed to have a lot to talk about, and she saw how happy Maggie was so she was happy too, because happy Maggie was her favorite Maggie.

Now it was Thursday and Kate was suddenly sitting at their table, in  _ Alex’s spot _ , and she was making her girl laugh the way that only her and James know how, and she was leaning into Maggie’s personal space just a bit too much, and Maggie’s hand was suddenly on her forearm as she kept laughing, and then Kate covered it with her own hand and Alex honestly felt like throwing up.

Because yeah, Maggie was her soulmate, and she’d been trying  _ so hard _ not to think about what if she wasn’t Maggie’s soulmate after all, even though Maggie kept telling her every day how sure she is that it’s her, there was always that one tiny voice in the back of her head that made her doubt herself when it came to literally any aspect of her life, this whole soulmate thing included.

So she stood there, in the middle of the cafeteria, completely frozen, looking at her soulmate, and willing herself not to turn around and run away, not to cry.

Taking a deep breath and blinking away the few tears that made their way into her eyes she plastered a fake smile on her face and made her way over to the table.

“Hey guys!” she greeted everyone, cringing at how overly cheerful she sounded. Maggie stopped laughing and looked up at her, scanning her face with worried eyes. Of course she  _ knew  _ something was up.

“Hey, Alex,” Jimmy waved without looking up from his textbook, turning the page.

“Alex, hi,” Kate greeted, a cheerful smile on her face and Alex had to dig her nails into her palms to ground herself and not punch that stupid smile off of her face.

She felt Maggie’s gentle fingers on her hand-fingers of the hand that had been resting on Kate’s forearm, and Alex didn’t miss the thing that flashed across Kate’s face, feeling her stomach twist but reminding herself that Maggie was looking at  _ her _ now, touching  _ her _ now- turning her head to look at her, she found Maggie looking up at her with gentle wide eyes and that soft crease of her eyebrows that Alex had learned she got when she was worried about someone and didn’t know what to do, how to fix it.

“You okay?” she asked softly and Alex wanted to do nothing more than gather Maggie in her arms and kiss her and hold her and never let go. But she couldn’t.

She couldn’t because they were in school, and they weren’t out to anyone but their friends, and even the soft brush of Maggie’s fingers against her hand felt like too much, made her feel like someone was definitely watching.

Alex wanted to come out. Because she was dating Maggie freaking Sawyer and she wanted to scream it from the rooftops. She wanted to finally stop wearing long sleeves so everyone could see Maggie’s name on her skin (and also because it was like a million degrees outside), she wanted to hold her hand when she walked her to the class, and she wanted to put her arm around her shoulders when Maggie leaned into her when they ate lunch, and as much as she hated  _ those couples  _ that were making out in the hallway all the time, she’d caught herself wishing it was the two of them, and most importantly, she wanted to be able to pull Maggie into herself and away from Kate.

She wanted to come out but she would  _ never  _ pressure Maggie into doing so. She’d rather sweat her ass off in long sleeved shirts and flannels, and settle for the way that their hands brushed when they walked down the hallway together, and just enjoy the brief press of her shoulder when they sat next to each other at the lunch table, and make fun of  _ those couples _ with her girlfriend, and, as much as it was killing her, refrain from killing Kate freaking Kane.

“Al?” Maggie’s soft voice pulled her out of her thoughts, Maggie’s hand was holding hers now.

“Yeah?”

“What’s wrong?”

Maggie’s soft tone and her wide eyes and gentle fingers made Alex’s heart swell in her chest, and she had to remind herself that they were not home and that she couldn’t just lean down and kiss Maggie until neither of them could breathe.

“Nothing,” she shook her head, giving Maggie-what she hoped was- a reassuring smile, as she sat down on her girlfriend’s other side.

But Maggie was obviously not buying it- damn the soul bond- because she turned around in her seat, her back to Kate- who didn’t seem very pleased about it, and no, of course that didn’t make Alex just a tiny bit happy- and propped her elbow against the table, studying Alex’s face intently.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” she asked, frowning slightly, hoping Maggie would just let it go.

“Because something’s wrong and I don’t know what,” she replied, chewing on her bottom lip as if she was trying to make herself concentrate better.

“Maggie, I’m okay.”

“Promise?”

Alex swallowed roughly, nodding her head, hating herself for lying to Maggie. “Yeah,” she said with a weak smile, and she hated herself for lying to Maggie.

Maggie looked as if she was about to say something but Kate’s voice stopped her. She looked almost as if she forgot that Kate was there and it honestly made Alex just a little more than a tiny bit happy.

She didn’t listen to whatever Kate was talking about as she dug into her lunch, noticing how even though Maggie was talking to Kate, she had scooted closer to Alex and the pinky finger of her right hand that was resting on her own knee was brushing against Alex’s, and Alex wondered if it was as hard for Maggie to keep her hands to herself as it was for her.

“Where’s Lucy?” she asked James when she was halfway through her lunch, needing her friend like never before because even though Maggie had moved from Kate a bit and was now sitting so close to Alex that their shoulders were brushing, Alex was sure Kate moved closer to her girlfriend and was now twirling a strand of her hair around her finger and Alex honestly felt like she was going to be sick.

“She said something about helping Kara and Winn with the school paper,” he said without even looking up at her, his forehead scrunched in concentration as he kept reading.

“Oh,” she breathed.

Great. So she had to eat her lunch in silence, while listening to fucking Kate and her very obvious flirting with her Maggie. Amazing.

“I’m sorry, Alex,” James finally looked up at her, an apologetic smile on his face. “I forgot to study and I have this huge exam right after lunch and I-“

“Hey, James, don’t worry about it,” she waved him off with a soft smile, seeing how nervous he was.

He nodded his head, a grateful smile on his face, and buried his head back in the book, and Alex was left to listen to Kate’s obnoxious voice. And she was trying to convince herself that it was nothing, that she was just making stuff up, and that Kate was just trying to make some friends since she was new. But it wasn’t easy since she leaned into Maggie’s space more than necessary, touched Maggie when there was absolutely no need for that, and laughed even when Maggie’s comments weren’t really that funny.

And as oblivious as Alex knew that she was, she was pretty sure that Kate was flirting with her girlfriend.

But Maggie didn’t seem like she was aware of it. Or at least, Alex hoped she wasn’t, because the thought of Maggie knowing that Kate was flirting with her, and letting her, (and flirting back… but no, she wasn’t… or was she?) when Alex was sitting right there, made her honestly feel sick.

Maggie turned around, giving Alex another worried look. And Alex saw how she took a breath to say something but then Kate’s hand was on Maggie’s arm and Kate was talking again and holy shit Alex was going to murder.

“So, Mags,” she started and Alex had to dig her fingers into the table to keep herself grounded, because again, there were only three people who could call Maggie  _ Mags _ and those were her aunt, James, and Alex. “I was told that they have some top notch ice cream in that cute little shop-“

“Oh yeah, Alex and I went there on, uh, we went there like two weeks ago. It was really good, right Al?” Maggie smiled at her as she bumped her shoulder, and Alex wasn’t sure if she wanted to wrap her up in a hug and never let go because of how innocent her girlfriend was, or just bang her own head against the table because how fucking oblivious can one person be?

(That was one of the very few moments when Alex questioned Maggie’s career choice.)

“Yep, amazing,” she nodded, not even looking over at Kate, who was so obviously asking her girlfriend out, and to make it even better she wanted to take her to the place where they had their first (official) date, because of course, the universe just had to fuck with her as much as possible.

Kate cleared her throat and Alex could see how she leaned a bit closer to Maggie, her stomach twisting uncomfortably. She glanced up from her lunch at James, just to find him looking at her with furrowed brow and confusion written all over his face.

“And so I was thinking,” Kate continued, “that maybe we could go there together? Maybe today after school?”

“What do you say Al-“

Alex would’ve burst out laughing because of the face that James made, looking like he was ready to get up and slap some sense into his best friend, but she didn’t because she was too busy fighting back tears.

“I don’t wanna be rude but I, uh, was thinking that we could go alone? Just you and I?”

“Just the two of us?”

“Yeah, you know like a, uh, like a-“

Alex didn’t even know how but suddenly she was up from the table and walking away as fast as she could, heading into the nearest bathroom and locking herself in one of the stalls, where she sat down on the toilet lid, waiting for the tears to come.

She wasn’t sad, she was angry. Angry at Kate, for flirting with her girl and asking her out. Angry at the assholes who made Maggie’s coming out so hard and made her feel like it wasn’t okay to be herself, like it wasn’t okay to hold Alex’s hand at school. Angry at the fact that she couldn’t really do anything about the fact that Kate was flirting with her girlfriend without outing her. Angry at how helpless she felt- and oh, okay, there go the tears. And also angry at herself for not being strong enough to stay at the damn table, for not staying there with Maggie, and for maybe not being enough for her after all.

She heard the door open and tried to quiet her sobs, taking deep breaths to calm herself down. She could hear soft footsteps and heavy breathing of the person who just came in, as if they ran to the bathroom. And then she heard a careful knock at the door of the stall she was in and she was ready to tell the person to fuck off but then she heard Maggie’s soft and quiet  _ ‘Ally’ _ , and she had to clench her jaw so tight she thought she might break her teeth to keep herself from crying.

“Al, I know you’re in there,” she said, her voice small. “Let me in, please?”

Alex took a deep breath, quickly wiping her eyes before she unlocked the door and let Maggie in. She didn’t move to get up so Maggie threw her backpack on the ground and crouched in front of Alex, her eyes searching in her face worriedly, as she put her hands on Alex’s knees tentatively, and Alex couldn’t help herself but remember how she was the one crouching down in front of a crying Maggie almost a week ago.

“We seriously need to stop this whole bathroom thing because it honestly smells gross in here,” she said with a chuckle, trying to lighten up the mood a bit.

But Maggie didn’t laugh, and her eyes didn’t crinkle like they used to. She just took one of Alex’s hands into hers, tangling their fingers together. “I’m  _ so  _ sorry,” she said. “Al, I had no idea she… You know I’d never-“

“Why not?” Alex asked before her brain even processed what Maggie had said and she honestly wanted to kick herself when she saw the broken expression on Maggie’s face.

“Because I only want you,” she said, bringing Alex’s hand to her lips and kissing it lightly. “God, Al, I don’t think you understand how much you mean to me.”

At that Alex stood up, pulling her girlfriend with her and into a tight hug, burying her nose in Maggie’s neck and inhaling her scent.

“I think I do,” she mumbled against Maggie’s neck, feeling her girlfriend’s grip on the back of her flannel tighten. “I’m sorry I reacted like that. I just, I didn’t know what to do.”

Maggie pulled back slightly, looking up at her girlfriend. “It’s okay. God knows I would’ve punched that cocky smirk off of her face if she was flirting with you.”

“Oh, you’ve  _ no idea _ how badly I wanted to do that.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t notice,” Maggie said, ducking her head shyly.

“It’s okay, Mags,” Alex said, tucking a strand of Maggie’s hair behind her ear. “You sure you wanna be a detective though?”

Alex’s teasing smile froze on her lips when Maggie looked up at her, her eyes wide and so, so vulnerable. “I just thought I could make friend you know. She’s new and she doesn’t know all the bullshit school gossip and I just, I guess I got blinded by that… I’m so sorry, Al.”

“Oh, Maggie,” she breathed, pulling her as close to her as she could, Maggie tucked her head under her chin and they stayed like that for a while, just holding each other.

“We seriously need to stop doing this whole bathroom thing,” Maggie said as she pulled away, making Alex chuckle. “Smells awful in here.”

“Yeah it does,” she scrunched up her nose, nodding. “Have any plans after school, Sawyer?”

“Nope,” Maggie shook her head, a wide smile making its way onto her face.

“Wanna come to my place?” Alex asked with a smirk as she let her eyes flick down to Maggie’s lips, not missing the way her girlfriend’s breath hitched.

“I, uh, yeah, yeah I’d love to,” she nodded, making Alex chuckle as she stumbled over her words.

“Great,” she breathed against Maggie’s lips as she pulled her into a deep a maybe a bit desperate kiss, knowing it was because of the jealousy that was still coursing through her veins but she couldn’t help herself, because she needed as much of Maggie as she could get. She needed to remind herself that Maggie was hers and wasn’t going anywhere.

And Maggie didn’t really seem to mind as she gripped onto Alex’s hips tightly, pulling her closer, and letting out a quiet whimper as Alex nipped on her bottom lip. They both giggled as Alex pulled back slightly, shushing Maggie, before her girlfriend pulled her back for another kiss and they stumbled into the door of the stall, Maggie’s back landing against it with a soft thud.

Alex pulled back, a little breathless, looking down at her Maggie whose eyes were wide and shiny and Alex was pretty sure hers looked the same.

“Come on, Sawyer,” she said as she reached for Maggie’s backpack, handing it to her, and slinging her own over her shoulder. “Not that I’m not enjoying kissing you, but we’re in a pretty gross school bathroom.”

“To be continued at your place?”

“To be continued at my place,” Alex nodded with a grin on her face, leaning down to peck Maggie’s lips one last time before they headed out of the bathroom.

Maggie walked her to the class, their pinkies brushing against one another as they walked and Alex felt her heart skip a beat every time their shoulders bumped. And then Maggie left with a wink and a smirk, and how Alex was going to survive two more lessons when she knew what was waiting for her after school was beyond her. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> KUDOS ARE GREAT AND YOUR COMMENTS GIVE ME SO MUCH LIFE (and make me write ??faster???:D)
> 
> oh and as always, feel free to come say hi to me on tumblr, peggycarterislife :)


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> y'all wanted to know what happened at alex's place.. for science... so here.. :D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soo i'm still hella sick and i wrote this very high (not as high as the actual 'writers' tho) on my meds and i literal physical pain but hey... hopefully it's not that bad?
> 
> oh and thank you all for you amazing comments, i swear i'll try to get back to all of them later but i'm off to take another nap now cause my head's being a bitch again.. :D

“Wait,” Alex giggled into the kiss as she kicked her bedroom door shut behind them. Maggie pressed her up against the door the moment it was shut but pulled back, looking at her girlfriend with a wide grin on her face.

“Yes, Danvers?”

“I just wanna change my shirt real quick. It’s too hot in this thing,” she said, pointing at her flannel.

Maggie pouted when Alex moved to get to the closet, making Alex chuckle and shake her head. She climbed onto the bed, sitting down cross-legged. Alex could feel her girlfriend’s eyes on her as she walked over to the closet, smirking because she knew her girlfriend was chewing on her bottom lip, working up the courage to ask her what she wanted to ask her.

“Al?” Maggie spoke up before Alex could even pull out a clean tank top.

“Yes?” she turned around smiling softly.

“I mean, uh… you don’t have to if you don’t want to but uh, maybe you could just take the flannel off? Only if you’re okay with that!” she rushed out.

Alex had to bite her cheek not to laugh when she saw her girlfriend’s wide eyed expression and red cheeks. She walked over to the bed slowly, a smirk on her face. “Maggie Sawyer, are you asking me to take my shirt off?” she asked, cocking an eyebrow.

She didn’t miss the way Maggie swallowed roughly, or the way that she clenched her jaw. Playing with her fingers, she squeezed one of them too tightly, cracking a knuckle, making both of them cringe at the sound.

“Sorry,” she grinned apologetically.

Alex sat down on the bed, taking Maggie’s hands into hers. She kissed the back of each hand and pulled them into her lap, squeezing gently.

“Maggie?”

“Hmm?”

“Breathe,” she said.

Maggie nodded, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. “I just… aren’t we rushing into things a bit too fast?”

Alex blinked a few times. “I’m sorry but I don’t think I’m following.  _ You  _ just asked  _ me  _ to take off my shirt,” she pointed out, frowning. “Plus it’s nothing we haven’t done before…”

“Yeah, no, I’m sorry, I just,” Maggie paused, taking another deep breath. She turned her hands under Alex’s tangling their fingers together. “I have no idea what the appropriate waiting period is before you do anything in a relationship. And I really don’t wanna mess up by rushing into things… Not that I didn’t enjoy it the last time, holy fuck Alex you have no idea how much I enjoyed it, but I… I don’t know…”

Alex nodded slowly, processing Maggie’s words, before she shuffled a bit closer to her. “Do you feel like we’re moving too fast?” she asked tentatively.

Maggie looked up at her shyly, shaking her head no.

Alex smiled softly, bringing one of Maggie’s hands to her lips and kissed it. “Me neither.”

“No?”

“No,” she said. “And I know about as much as you do about relationships… We could maybe just do what feels right? And if either of us feels like something is too much we can just talk about it. What do you say?”

Maggie just looked at her with wide eyes for a couple of seconds without saying anything and Alex felt like her heart was about to jump out of her chest, like she had maybe said something wrong. But then Maggie was surging forward and whispering ‘ _ God, you’re perfect.’ _ against Alex’s lips and Alex couldn’t help herself but smile into the kiss as she tangled one of her hands in Maggie’s hair.

She shuffled back, pulling Maggie with her, her head hit the pillow, Maggie’s hair falling down and tickling her face. She tucked a few strands behind her ears, reveling in how perfectly soft it was, watching as Maggie smiled down at her softly, her cheeks dimpling slightly.

“You’re so beautiful,” she whispered, tracing her thumbs over her girlfriend’s cheeks, over the dimples that came out in full force as Maggie blushed at the compliment.

Maggie shook her head, leaning her forehead against Alex’s. “You, Danvers, you.”

Alex opened her mouth to argue but was silenced with Maggie’s lips on hers. She tangled her fingers in Maggie’s hair, pulling her closer. Their kisses were soft and slow, Maggie’s hand resting on Alex’s hip, tracing patterns with her thumb over the exposed flesh where her flannel had ridden up a bit.

She felt Maggie smile into the kiss as she moved one of her hands to Maggie’s cheeks, tracing it over her dimple. “You really like my dimples, don’t you?” she asked with a grin when she pulled back slightly.

“ _ I _ really like  _ you _ ,” she replied with a wink, making Maggie giggle and hide her face in her neck.

“I  _ really _ like you too, Al,” she said, her breath warm against Alex’s neck, and placed a soft kiss to her pulse point. “Like…  _ a lot. _ ”

Alex hummed contentedly with a huge smile on her face, carding her fingers through Maggie’s hair as her girlfriend continued to kiss her neck.

“Mags,” she breathed when she felt Maggie nip at her jaw.

“Hmm.”

“No hickeys.”

Maggie tore her mouth away from her neck, looking up at her and nodding. “Yep, nope, don’t worry.”

Alex chuckled and pulled her back in for another kiss but this time less soft, less slow, more intense. Her lips parted for Maggie’s tongue as her girlfriend’s hand disappeared under her shirt, feeling Maggie’s shaky fingertips trail across her ribcage.

She slipped her hands from Maggie’s hair and onto her shoulders, barely holding back a moan when Maggie shifted and the muscles under her hands tensed. Feeling brave, she let her hands travel down Maggie’s back, stopping at the small of her back for a moment to make sure that Maggie was okay with what she was about to do.

She pulled back slightly, meaning to ask her but Maggie didn’t let her, mumbling ‘ _ Yes.’  _ against her lips before kissing her again. So she let her hands travel even lower, and when they finally settled over Maggie’s butt and she gave it a light squeeze, she didn’t know if the moan she let out was because of Maggie biting on her lower lip or because holy wow her girlfriend’s butt really was glorious.

And then Maggie’s mouth was on her cheek, on her jaw, traveling down her neck, and on her collarbone and then she was kissing the hollow of her neck and then a bit lower right above the last button of Alex’s flannel, and Alex couldn’t help herself but grab Maggie’s but a little harder, pulling a moan from her girlfriend that sent shivers down her spine. 

And when Maggie’s hand had slipped out from under her shirt, traveling up, her fingers touching that last button, Alex could hear her girlfriend ask if it was okay, and she could hear herself give her a ragged yes. And then Maggie was popping the buttons on Alex’s flannel open, placing a kiss on every new piece of skin that was revealed, and Alex felt like she might actually faint when Maggie gave her one last lingering kiss right above the waistband of her pants

“You good?” Maggie checked in as she climbed back up, covering Alex’s body with her own again.

Alex nodded quickly, her hands settling on Maggie’s back. “You?”

Maggie grinned, nodding, and Alex’s heart jumped a beat when she pulled back slightly, looking down at her with something that looked an awful lot like love. And then her mouth was on Alex’s again, and the kiss was a bit messy because neither of them could stop smiling.

Alex let her hands travel down again, but this time she stopped at the hem of Maggie’s shirt. She let her fingers slip under the shirt, feeling the goosebumps that formed under her fingertips as she traced patterns into the skin that she found.

After a moment her hands slid back to the hem of Maggie’s shirt, pulling it up ever so slightly. Maggie’s contented hum was enough for Alex to try to pull it all the way over her head, she followed Maggie as she pulled away, thinking she wanted to give her better access to get the shirt over her head. But then Maggie was sitting up and pulling away completely and Alex’s heart dropped in her chest and she was ready to start spluttering apologies.

But Maggie put up a finger, giving Alex that soft smile, so Alex kept her mouth shut, tried to get her breathing under control.

“Babe, I’m sorry, you didn’t do anything wrong, okay?” Alex gave her a small nod, waiting for Maggie to continue. “Just a quick question, would it be okay if I locked the door?”

“Locked the door?” Alex frowned.

“Yeah, I don’t really feel like getting walked in on by your kid sister again and I know you said she was supposed to be at Winn’s but I really don’t wanna risk it…”

“Oh, sure,” Alex breathed, nodding, as she watched Maggie walk over to the door and lock it.

She smiled at her as she climbed back into the bed, trying not to think about the fact that her little sister had superpowers and could see through walls and hear things from miles away. Not to mention she could literally run through that door like a freaking cartoon character without a scratch.

She seriously needed to talk to her mom about telling Maggie.

(Yes, Eliza, not Kara. Because Kara liked to share her secret with her friends and there wasn’t many people that Kara didn’t consider her friends. So they had a rule about discussing it with Eliza every time Kara wanted to tell someone ever since Kara told Winn because she just couldn’t wait for the damn popcorn like a normal person- “ _ Do you have any idea how much faster you can make popcorn with heat vision, Alex?  _ and _ It’s so much cooler than the dumb popcorn machine!  _ and  _ No, I’m not scared of it anymore!.  _ -.)

Of course she would ask Kara if it was okay with her, but she’d talk about it with Eliza- even though she kind of knew what her mom’s answer would be, judging by how she couldn’t stop gushing about how amazing Maggie was after she’d left on Saturday.

She was pulled out of her thoughts when Maggie pulled her own shirt over her head. Throwing it to the side she straddled Alex’s lap, grinning when she noticed the way Alex’s eyes roamed over her body.

“You okay if I take this off?” Maggie asked, her fingers wrapped around Alex’s flannel. Alex gave her a nod and Maggie slipped it off, throwing it to the side and kissing Alex softly.

Alex could feel the gentle press of Maggie’s hands on her shoulders, clearly trying to get her to lie down again. She smirked into the kiss as she flipped them over, clearly not being as smooth as she thought she was when Maggie’s forehead hit hers and they both cursed as they pulled back.

“Real smooth, Danvers,” Maggie groaned as she rubbed her forehead, squinting at Alex who was lying on her side as well, hand on her forehead.

“I’m  _ so  _ sorry!” Alex propped herself up on her elbow, moving Maggie’s hand away to check on her head. She traced gentle fingertips over the slightly reddened skin, leaning down to kiss it. “I think you’ll live.”

“Thank you, doctor Danvers,” Maggie said, grinning up at her, “Don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“You’re ridiculous,” shaking her head she leaned down to press a soft kiss to Maggie’s lips.

Maggie shifted, pulling Alex closer and after a while Alex settled on top of her, one of her hands cradling Maggie’s head, the other resting just under her bra. She could feel Maggie’s heart thudding real fast against her ribcage, wondering if Maggie could feel that her heart was beating just as fast, with her hands rested on her back. She let her body rest against Maggie’s, both of them sighing as their skin touched, as they got lost in each other’s lips.

~ ~ ~

“Al?”

“Hmm,” Alex hummed as she nuzzled into her girlfriend’s neck.

They were lying on the bed, Alex cuddled into Maggie’s side, Maggie’s hand in her hair. And as much as Alex loved kissing Maggie, and as sad as she was to stop when they both agreed that it was getting a bit too much, she just couldn’t get enough of  _ this _ .

Of Maggie dressed in one of her shirts- because ‘ _ No, Alex, I can’t wear my own shirt because it doesn’t smell like you. _ -, of the feeling of Maggie’s fingers carding through her hair, of the sound of her steady heartbeat under her ear, and of how completely safe and relaxed she felt.

“Ally?” Maggie’s fingers stopped moving in her hair and Alex blinked her eyes open, propping herself up on one elbow to look at her girlfriend.

“What’s wrong?” she asked with a frown.

Maggie shook her head, pulling Alex back down and continuing the steady strokes of her fingers. “Nothing, I just, I’ve been thinking…”

“About?” Alex encouraged her girlfriend softly, hearing how Maggie’s heart started beating faster.

“I get it if you don’t want to but uh, I was just wondering if you maybe… Well, I’ve been wanting to…” Alex pressed a soft kiss against her neck as Maggie took a deep breath, trying to get the words out. “I wanna come out.”

Alex propped herself back on one elbow, looking down at her girlfriend, who was looking up at her with wide eyes.

“Really?”

“Yeah,” Maggie nodded, sitting up. “I mean, we don’t have to if you don’t want to but, uh, I’m sure the thing with Kate wouldn’t have happened if she knew…”

Alec clenched her jaw at the mention of Kate, nodding. “Yeah, probably… But are you sure you wanna do it?”

She watched Maggie worry her bottom lip between her teeth for a moment, a frown on her face, before she nodded. “Yeah.”

“Yeah?”

“I mean, I’m still terrified cause of what happened at my old school, but I’m pretty sure no one’s gonna come near me after you scared the living shit out of Rick in front of everyone…”

“I fucking hate that guy.”

“I know you do, babe,” Maggie said. “Plus I have friends, like actual  _ real _ friends now. I didn’t have that back then. I thought I did, but they all stopped talking to me after… But now they know me and they accept me for who I am.”

“And they all love you for who you are,” Alex said, her voice gentle, not missing the way Maggie’s eyes seemed to soften at the sentence.

“Plus,” she said, threading her fingers through Alex’s, “I have you, now.”

“Yeah, you do,” Alex smiled, bringing Maggie’s hand to her lips, kissing it gently. “Forever.”

“Forever, Danvers,” Maggie grinned as she leaned down to press a kiss to Alex’s lips. “So you’re okay with it?”

“Yeah,” Alex nodded. “I’ve been wanting to do it but I wanted to wait till you felt ready.”

“God, Danvers, you’re perfect,” Maggie sighed, leaning in for another kiss. “And you’re mine and everyone at school’s gonna know.”

Alex hummed as Maggie lied down again, and she settled into her side, throwing a leg over her waist. “And you’re mine and Kate’s gonna know it,” she couldn’t keep the grin off of her face as she placed a kiss to Maggie’s neck.

“That I am,” Maggie said, her fingers going back to Alex’s hair.

It took her a good couple of minutes to stop grinning like an idiot at the thought of holding Maggie’s hand tomorrow at school, at finally being able to kiss her if she wanted to, and- as petty as she knew she was being- at Kate seeing her hold Maggie’s hand.

She had nearly drifted off to sleep when there was a knock on the door. She blinked her eyes open, happy that her sister took the conversation they had about knocking seriously even though ‘ _ Alex, I can literally hear what’s going on even if I really don’t want to! What’s the point of knocking?” _ .

“Um, Alex?” she frowned when she heard Winn’s voice from the other side of the door. “We have a teeny tiny problem…”

She scrambled off of the bed as fast as she could at that, her brain going through the worst possible scenarios of what could’ve happened to her little sister. But she obviously wasn’t fast enough because said sister was suddenly standing in front of her, holding her  _ freaking bedroom door  _ in her  _ hand _ .

“Kara!”

“Alex!”

“Oh my god Kara, really? First you crush my console and now you literally break down Alex’s door?” Winn asked as he stepped into the room.

“I said I was sorry! And I didn’t expect Alex to lock the door! She never locks-“ Kara cut herself off as her eyes landed on the bed behind Alex. “Oh, hi Maggie.”

“Okay, um,” Maggie started as she stood up, walking to stand next to Alex. “I’m sorry, but, uh, what the fuck is going on, little Danvers?”

“Soulmark, Alex! I got a soulmark!” Kara went on, clearly not getting Maggie’s question.

“Wait what?” Alex’s eyes widened. “I thought you weren’t supposed to get one…”

“Yeah me too but I-“

“Guys!” Maggie cut in. “Can somebody please explain to me, what’s going on? How did kid Danvers get her soulmark when she’s just fifteen and it’s like 5pm? And how on earth did she just break your door, Alex?”

Alex glanced at Kara, biting her cheek anxiously. At Kara’s nod she turned back to her girlfriend, who was standing there with her arms crossed across her chest and her eyebrow cocked, head tilted to the side- and if it wasn’t for the situation they were in right now Alex would totally tease her about how adorable she looked- and took a deep breath, “You might wanna sit down for this…” 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos and comments are amazing! i always love to hear what y'all think so please, leave a comment or come talk to me on tumblr, peggycarterislife
> 
> i don't know when i'm gonna post the next chapter cause i'm still hella sick and i need to catch up on all the school stuff i missed this week cause i had to stay home and next week's supposedly gonna be just full of exams so um.. @death come take me?? 
> 
> also this is not finished yet but i feel like there's not that many chapters left so um.. is there anything you'd like me to write when this is done?


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kara tells maggie she's an alien...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyyy everyone!! happy new year!! 
> 
> i know it took me fucking ages to update this but uh.. life happened i guess? anyways, i'm back with a new chapter (that hopefully doesn't suck as much as i think it does)

Maggie had always considered the whole sitting down to listen to some shocking news thing just pure bullshit. But when Alex told her that she should probably sit down, she did. Because Alex had that wide-eyed look on her face and she could feel how nervous she was, and Kara grinned at her apologetically before leaning Alex’s door against the wall, and Winn just sat down on the chair by Alex’s desk with a huff and Maggie could tell he was trying not to show how nervous he really was.

And, yeah, sitting down didn’t seem like such a bad idea.

Because her knees felt kind of wobbly as her brain tried to process the fact that not even five minutes ago she was cuddling with her girlfriend but then her girlfriend’s kid sister went full on hulk on her girlfriend’s bedroom door. But judging by Alex’s and Winn’s faces, it didn’t seem like it was anything unusual. And she felt like her brain was about to explode as she tried to come up with a reasonable explanation for all of that.

She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down but failing as she heard Alex mumble that Eliza’s going to kill her as she paced in front of her.

Kara came up to her sister, placing a hand on her shoulder to stop her pacing. “Alex it’s okay.”

“No, it’s not, Kara.”

“I’m sure she won’t tell anyone. Plus it’s not like we can hide this from her forever…”

Alex closed her eyes as she took a deep breath, and Maggie knew she was trying not to think about how upset Eliza would be later. She turned around to face Maggie and took one more deep breath.  “Okay so I  _ know _ this is probably gonna sound crazy, but uh, well… Kara, uh-“

“I’m not really from this planet.”

Maggie blinked a few times, her mind going a mile a minute as she processed the new information. “Oh.”

“Oh?” Alex repeated, her eyes wide with panic.

Maggie rubbed her forehead, trying to get her brain to work faster. Because Alex was clearly panicking and Maggie hated seeing her like this. She knew Kara meant the world to her big sister, and she never wanted Alex to think that she wasn’t okay with who Kara really was.

“So you’re, uh, an alien?” she said when her brain finally started working again.

“Yeah.”

“But, uh, you look like a human…”

“No, humans look like kryptonians, actually. Krypton is- was a much older planet than Earth,” she said with a smile even though her eyes went dark with something Maggie had never seen in them before, a sadness that seemed to be heavier than anything any fifteen year old should know.

It reminded her of her fourteen year old self. But the way that Kara referred to her home planet in the past tense told her that the loss she’d suffered went beyond her family, beyond her friends, or the town where she grew up.

She had like a million questions but she swallowed them all, nodding slowly. “Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me,” she said with a small smile on her lips.

“So you’re okay with this?” Alex asked, her voice small.

Maggie looked over at her girlfriend, who was standing next to her little sister, trying to stand tall and proud, with her arms crossed across her chest, clutching her elbows so tightly her knuckles went white, and Maggie knew she was trying to hold herself together.

“Of course I am,” Maggie stood up and walked over to her, taking Alex’s hands into hers and giving them a reassuring squeeze. “I love your sister, she’s an amazing person, and I don’t see why this should change anything.”

“God you’re amazing,” Alex sighed, leaning her forehead against Maggie’s shoulder and finally relaxing a bit. Maggie placed a soft kiss to the top of her head, smiling at Kara over Alex’s shoulder.

“Aww, you guys are the cutest,” said Winn, making Alex look up and glare at him. The fact that they both told him to shut up in perfect unison only made him smile even wider, especially after Kara’s muttered ‘ _ He’s right…” _ , and neither Alex nor Maggie could really fight the smiles that tugged on their lips.

“Okay now that she knows can we please get back to my mark?” Kara asked.

Alex let go of Maggie’s hands, walking over to her sister. “Where is it?” she asked, and Kara pulled on the collar of her shirt to expose the soulmate mark right under her collar bone.

Maggie couldn’t see the name from where she was standing. She just watched as Alex traced the words with her fingers, watched as Alex got that concentrated look in her eyes and that crinkle on her forehead.

“It’s real,” she muttered after a while, the crinkle on her forehead getting somehow deeper.

“Of course it’s real! She crushed my freaking console  _ cause it tingled! _ ”

“I said I was sorry! I just, I- I don’t know… I panicked, okay? I didn’t-“

“Guys, shut up,” Alex said when she finally looked up from Kara’s mark. “I think we should call Clark, Kara.”

“But Kal was a baby when we left.”

“He’s our best-“

“Clark?” Winn asked, frowning, and Maggie could feel Alex’s stomach drop as her eyes went wide. “Clark as in Clark Kent?”

And, oh. Yeah. Maggie knew why Alex had her  _ I fucked up so bad _ look on her face.

Because she met Clark at the party. And she also met Lois at the party, and Lois said knows Superman and that he’d throw her into the space if she ever hurt Alex. And Alex said he’d never do that, and the way she said it sounded as if she knew him. And she  _ met  _ him, and she’s not blind, and honestly how had she not realized when his disguise is literally just glasses?

“Clark Kent is Superman,” Winn said, his eyes wide and mouth hanging open, before Maggie could say it out loud herself.

“I’m so dead,” Alex said, rubbing her forehead with the tips of her fingers.

“I can’t believe Superman used to change my diapers…”

Maggie would laugh at the look Winn had on his face if it wasn’t for the quickly rising panic that Alex was resonating.

“Al?” she stepped closer to her girlfriend, just as Kara walked over to Winn to try to get him to breathe again. “Alex?”

“I fucked up so bad, Mags,” Alex said, and Maggie didn’t even know how but her girlfriend was wrapped around her suddenly, her head buried in Maggie’s neck. Maggie rested her hands on her back, rubbing soothing circles, as Alex took deep breaths, as if she was trying to calm herself down with breathing Maggie in, and Maggie’s heart leaped.

“You didn’t do anything wrong, babe,” she said, feeling Alex’s grip on her shirt tighten.

“I just outed Superman to two people,” Alex mumbled against Maggie’s neck.

“I’m pretty sure it was Winn who said that Clark Kent is Superman,” Maggie said. Alex stood up straight, frowning down at Maggie but not letting go of her.

“Mags, come on, I-“

“No, Alex, listen,” she cut her off. “You didn’t do anything wrong, okay? I’m sure Eliza won’t be mad and-“

“You don’t know her that well…”

“And if she is then you can just explain what happened to her.”

“She won’t listen, Maggie. She never does when it comes to  _ this _ , to Kara. I’m supposed to protect her and I-“

“And you’re doing great.”

“Mom doesn’t think so…”

“Then I’ll talk to her,” Maggie said, earning herself a wide eyed look from Alex. “No, really, I will. Because, Alex, you’re amazing, and you didn’t do anything wrong, and I need you to stop being so hard on yourself, okay?”

Maggie’s heart broke as Alex’s bottom lip quivered and her eyes brimmed with tears. She watched as her throat bobbed when she swallowed down the tears, and nodded, before leaning down and kissing Maggie softly.

She rested her forehead against Maggie’s, taking a deep breath. “Okay,” she said, her voice barely a whisper. Maggie knew it took Alex a lot to agree, and she promised herself that she’d spend the rest of forever making sure that Alex Danvers would treat herself and got treated like she deserves.

“I’m gonna call Clark, Alex,” Kara said after a moment, pulling the two of them out of their little bubble.

“Do you want me to go with you?” Alex asked, and there was not a trace of that vulnerability from just a few moments ago. She was back in her big sister mode, and Maggie was taken aback by how tough Alex was.

Kara’s eyes flickered between Maggie and her sister, and Maggie could see that she was struggling to decide. But before she could say anything Alex smiled at Maggie, squeezing her hand before letting go, saying she’d be right back.

She flopped down on the bed, leaning against the headboard. Winn spun around on the chair so that he’d face her. “You know I’ve known her for the longest time and I’ve never seen her so soft around anyone.”

Maggie frowned. “What are you talking about?”

“Alex,” he said. “She’s just…  _ so _ different when she’s with you.”

“Really?”

Maggie wasn’t blind and she knew her girlfriend. She knew that Alex didn’t fuck around, and that Winn called her Scary Danvers for a reason. But she didn’t think she was  _ that _ special.

“Yeah, really,” Winn nodded, smiling softly. “I mean, I’ve seen her act all soft around Kara but that’s a different kind of soft. This, what you guys have, is just… I don’t know…”

“Very articulate Schott,” Maggie said with a smirk on her face.

“Listen, Alex is like the big sister I’ve never had, and I’m just so happy to finally see her so happy,” he said, and Maggie had to bite her lip to keep it from quivering, because damn it this was the second time in the past week someone told Alex was happier because of  _ her. _

She looked away from Winn’s eyes, playing with her fingers. “You’re not shovel-talking me Schott, are you?” she asked, proud of herself when her voice didn’t crack.

“I might be the little brother but if you hurt her you’re gonna wish you weren’t born…”

“I would never-“

“I know,” he said. “I know you wouldn’t, but Alex sticks up for me so, you know, gotta do the same for her.”

Maggie nodded, smiling softly. She knew Alex had a lot of people that cared about her, but it always felt nice to hear it from them, to know that there would always be someone to take care of her if she couldn’t.

“Thank you.”

“What for?”

“Looking out for her,” she said, trying to blink back the tears that welled up in her eyes out of nowhere.

Winn was up from his seat and next to her on the bed in a blink of an eye, opening his arms for her. She smiled, wiping a tear or two away, before hugging him.

It felt nice. Making more friends. Making friends that accepted her for who she was, and cared about her more than her ‘friends’ back in Blue Springs ever did.

“You’re a good egg, Sawyer,” Winn mumbled into her shoulder after a while.

She bit back a laugh, and pulled back, trying to glare at him the way Alex did, that big sister glare that always made him shut up and call her ‘Scary Danvers’.

“And you’ve ruined the moment, Schott,” she retorted, making him scowl.

“And you’ve got the whole Alex glare down so good it’s actually creepy.”

She laughed at that, shoving him lightly as she leaned back against the headboard again, Winn settling right beside her.

“So,” she started, trying to fight the grin that was creeping on her face, “Superman used to change your diapers?”

Winn groaned, hiding his face in his hands. “I can’t believe I actually said that out loud.”

“Yeah, me neither, Schott,” she said, laughing as he tried to glare at her, even though his ears were flaming red.

“Please don’t tell anyone?”

“Don’t worry,” she smiled, patting his knee. “Your secret’s safe with me.”

“A really good e-“

“Don’t test me, Winn,” she said, big-sister-glaring him again.

Him put his hands up in surrender, muttering an okay and something about how Alex just  _ had _ to get a soulmate who pulls the scary look as good as she does.

“So,” he started after a moment of silence, “what’s it feel like to have an alien in your family?”

_ Family. _

That’s something she tried not to think about too much since she was fourteen. She had Izzy, she knew that. Izzy was her family and she didn’t think she’d ever get to be a part of a family that was bigger than the two of them.

When she was little, she used to dream about what her soulmate’s family might be like. She always wondered if they were loud, and big and close like her family.

Or as close as she thought her family was.

She used to wonder what it would be like, to be a part of her soulmate’s family. What it would be like to make her big, loud, and close family even bigger, and maybe louder, and hopefully just as close.

But after… after, she didn’t really think about it anymore.

Couldn’t really think about it anymore.

And she was shocked that the thought of maybe, hopefully being a part of Alex’s family one day hadn’t crossed her mind yet.

Because she knew it had only been a few weeks but she knew she couldn’t imagine her life without Alex. Because Alex made her feel safe, and happy, and cared for, and like she mattered. And she also made her feel _so_ _loved._

And Maggie couldn’t imagine what her life would be like without Alex by her side.

And the realization hit her like a ton of bricks and she knew she probably shouldn’t have been so calm because Alex was tearing down the walls she’d built way too easily, and that should’ve been terrifying but it wasn’t.

She  _ loved _ Alex.

She was  _ in love  _ with Alex.

And her brain was going a mile a minute and her heart was pounding hard enough to make Alex feel it but Maggie couldn’t help herself but grin like an idiot. Because holy shit she was in love with Alex, and they hadn’t been together for that long, and if anyone had told her just a month ago, that she’d fall in love with someone in a matter of weeks, she would’ve called them crazy.

But sitting here, in Alex’s bed, with Alex’s little brother of a friend, realizing it all, it just all felt so simple.

It felt like coming home, and Maggie couldn’t wait for her birthday so she could finally have Alex’s name written on her arm for the rest of her life.

“Maggie?” Winn pulled her out of her musings.

“Yes?”

“What’s it feel like to have a Super-sister-in-law?”

Maggie’s insides felt all warm and mushy at Winn’s choice of words and her already stupidly huge grin got even bigger- because wow, if this worked out, she’d get to marry her girl one day, and she’d get to get a dog with her, and they’d grow old together and-

And of course that’s when Alex and Kara came back, and there was no doubt about the fact that they both heard what Winn had said. Because Kara was smiling and her eyes were shining with excitement as they flitted from Maggie to Alex.

And Alex’s eyes were wide but so, so soft, and her face was so open Maggie didn’t even need the stupid soulbond to know that Alex felt the same way she did.

“Shut it, Schott,” she smacked Winn across the head without tearing her eyes away from Maggie.

Winn looked like he wanted to tease the two of them some more but his eyes landed on Kara when he turned around, and his face suddenly turned serious. “What’d Clark say?”

“He didn’t know that we didn’t have soulmates back on Krypton.”

“So…?” Winn asked.

“He’s got a soulmark too, yes,” said Alex.

“He said he got his a bit early too, but he just assumed that that’s how it was back on Krypton.”

“Makes sense,” he said. “So what’s it like to get your soulmark?”

“Crazy,” Kara said, laughing a little, as she sat flopped down on the bed. “I thought I’d never get a mark and now it’s just- crazy.”

Winn shuffled over to his best friend, throwing an arm around her shoulders. “But like… good crazy, right?”

“I, uh, I guess…”

“You guess?”

“I mean, yeah, it’s great, but in a way it’s also not,” she said, fixing her glasses. “I finally get why you people freak out about this stuff so much. Like, yeah, I know she’s out there, but I’ve no idea where.”

Maggie’s brain stuttered a little when Kara said ‘she’ as if it wasn’t a big deal. Granted, she was from a different planet, and maybe it wasn’t such a big deal back there.

“You two better appreciate what you have,” she said, frowning, as she pointed a finger between Alex and Maggie, her eyes shining happily even as she tried to look serious.

Alex finally walked over to the bed, and sat down next to Maggie, tangling their fingers together and squeezing Maggie’s hand, before she leaned in to kiss her soundly. When she pulled back she had the sweetest smile on her lips, and the softest look in her eyes and Maggie’s heart leaped at the sight, because wow, did she  _ love  _ Alex Danvers.

And it took her all she had not to blurt it out right then and there, but she knew better than to say it in front of her girlfriend’s little siblings, because sometimes not even Alex’s glare could cut off their teasing.

“We do,” Alex said, as she pulled back, looking over at her little sister. “Right, Mags?”

“Yeah,” Maggie said, leaning her head against Alex’s shoulder. “We do.” 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos and comments are amazing! i always love to hear what y'all think so please, leave a comment or come talk to me on tumblr, peggycarterislife


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex tells Eliza that Maggie knows...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sooo i've had the worst week, i'm fucking tired and stressed beyond belief and have like 10 tests this week (not even kidding) and i've no idea how i'm still alive and just.. yeah... i promised i'd give you another chapter today so here it is :D i hope you'll like it.. :)

Alex was sitting on the couch, waiting for her mom to come home so she could tell her that her bedroom door needed to be fixed. Because her little sister broke it down. (And Alex was so incredibly grateful, to whatever higher power there was, that she didn’t burst in while they were still making out topless.)

Her little alien sister with super powers, that her girlfriend knew about now, broke her freaking door down. And Alex was happy that Maggie finally knew, but she was also dying on the inside because Eliza was surely going to kill her.

Or maybe she wasn’t going to be so mad… After all Eliza seemed to really like Maggie. Plus, she was Alex’s soulmate so she was kind of bound to find out at some point. And there was no doubt Maggie, good, kind, sweet Maggie, would keep Kara’s secret.

Alex trusted her.

But they also managed to somehow out the man of steel as well, and as much as she trusted Winn, she knew how obsessed he was with Kara’s cousin- as much as he’d deny, it she’d seen him drool over both, Clark and Superman- and she was terrified he’d let it slip.

But her mom didn’t need to know about that, right?

All she needed to know about was the door, Maggie knowing, and Kara’s soulmark.

Fuck.

Kara’s soulmark.

She was happy for her little sister, she really was, but the moment she had read the name written on Kara’s skin her heart dropped, because everyone knew that name and everyone knew that family was no good.

Maybe a couple of years ago she would’ve been happy. Because back then that name didn’t strike pure terror in most people. It was just a name of another incredibly rich family. An incredibly rich family with a son Kara’s cousin befriended.

But then it all went downhill.

And she  _ knew _ that Clark’s psycho of a friend had a little sister, but she couldn’t remember her name, hoping it wasn’t Lena.

_ Lena Luthor. _

Kara didn’t know that her cousin used to be friends with the Luthors. Clark and Lex weren’t friends anymore when Kara came to live with the Danvers’. She didn’t know her soulmate was probably her cousin’s enemy’s little sister. She only knew the Luthors from the news since Clark never talked about them anymore.

And when she looked at Alex with those big blue eyes after showing her mark to Alex again, when they were in Kara’s room, Alex knew her own were wide and scared because of course the universe would be cruel enough to give her little alien sister, her sweet Kara, a soulmate that was probably from a family of alien haters.

It was just too fucked up, and too Romeo and Juliet, to be true.

Kara had already lost too much, had already been through too much. She didn’t deserve to have to deal with a family of xenophobic assholes. She deserved the best.

And Kara just knew, even though Alex didn’t say anything out loud, and she just smiled at her reassuringly- and Alex felt like kicking herself in that moment because she should’ve been the strong one, not Kara- and told her that the universe knew what it was doing, and that whoever this Lena person was, even if she was really family with  _ the _ Luthors, Kara would never judge her for her family’s actions.

And Alex just stared at her, dumbfounded, wondering when her little sister grew up so much.

She could feel the headache that was starting to build behind her eyes. She rubbed her temples, trying to calm herself down a bit, taking deep breaths to get her thoughts in order so she wouldn’t blurt out something stupid in front of Eliza.

Her phone vibrated on the table and she smiled when she saw it was a text from Maggie, asking her if she was okay and telling her she could call her if she needed to. Alex couldn’t help the smile that made its way on her face after reading the text. Maggie was so amazing, so thoughtful, so caring, and Alex was so in-

“Are you seriously blushing after reading a text from your girlfriend?” Kara’s voice startled her and she nearly dropped her phone.

“I, uh…”

“Oh my Rao,” Kara said, her eyes widened before she slapped a hand over them. “Please tell me you’re not sending each other dirty texts.”

Alex chuckled at the fact that her sister whispered ‘dirty texts’. “What would that hand over your eyes help you with if we were?”

“I don’t know, okay?” Kara huffed, still not taking the hand off of her eyes. “Wait, you still haven’t answered my question.”

Alex shook her head at her sister’s antics. “No, we’re not,” she said.

“Oh thank Rao!” Kara said, finally taking her hand off of her eyes and flopping down beside Alex. “What’d Maggie send you that got you blushing like that?” she asked, trying to snatch the phone from Alex’s hand.

Alex’s reflexes were thankfully really good after years of living with a super-powered sister, and she shoved it into her back pocket quickly, tucking herself into the corner of the couch so Kara couldn’t pull it out (As if she couldn’t pick her up with her little finger.) because even though there weren’t any ‘dirty texts’ in her conversation with Maggie, Alex didn’t need her little sister to know how disgustingly sappy she could be.

“Aleeeeex,” Kara whined, making Alex laugh. “Come on, I wanna knooow.”

“She was just making sure I’m okay.”

“Aww, I love when you get that look,” Kara said, pointing at Alex’s face.

Alex frowned, cocking her head to the side. “What look?”

“The Maggie look!”

“The Maggie look?”

“The one you get when you talk about her, or text her, or think ab-“

“How do you know when I’m thinking about her?”

“ _ The look _ , Alex!”

“You’re ridiculous,” Alex scoffed, shaking her head, as she pulled out her phone to let Maggie know she was fine and that she’d call later. Tucking her phone back into her pocket she looked up, noticing Kara who was looking at her with a huge smile on her face. “You okay, Kar?”

“You love her, don’t you?” Kara asked, her smile getting somehow even bigger.

Alex’s jaw dropped at the question and her eyes went wide. She’d be lying if she said she hadn’t been thinking about it for the past couple of days. And every time she thought about it she came to the same conclusion, she did love her.

She was in love with her girlfriend, and thinking about it made her incredibly giddy with excitement. But now that Kara said it out loud, Alex was actually kind of scared, because Kara saying it out loud made it somehow more real.

Because what if she wasn’t Maggie’s soulmate? What if Maggie left her to be with that other person? Alex knew that as much as it would kill her to see Maggie with someone else, she’d be happy as long as Maggie was happy. Because she loved her. But the thought of Maggie loving someone else was just-

“Alex,” Kara’s voice pulled her out of her thoughts. “No.”

“No?”

“No,” she repeated firmly, shaking her head as she moved closer to Alex and took her hand. “I know that face, and I don’t like that face. And I honestly can’t wait for Maggie’s birthday so I don’t ever have to see it again.”

“But-“

“No, Alex,” Kara said, her voice firm yet gentle. “Do I need to call Maggie to deal with this nonsense again?”

Alex shook her head, remembering how Kara literally called Maggie to come over after she panicked like this last week. “I just,” Alex started, her voice quiet, “the thought of not having her in my life is fuc- it’s terrifying, Kara.”

“First of all, language, Alex!” Kara scolded her, but her eyes were still gentle and Alex knew she did that just to make her laugh. God, she loved her little sister. “And second of all, you don’t have to imagine your life without her! You’re so lucky you’ve found each other… And Alex, I know, I  _ know _ she’s not going anywhere, okay? I know because I’m not blind and I can see the way she  _ looks  _ at you! It’s the same exact way you look at her, Al. And I also know she’s not going anywhere because Maggie’s also like super smart, and leaving you would be beyond stupid…”

Alex didn’t know what to say, so she just smiled at her sister weakly, and squeezed her hand as tightly as she could.

“And I’m if I have to repeat this to you for two more weeks then I’m gonna, but you owe me so many potstickers once that girl has your name on her arm,” Kara added, getting a laugh out of Alex.

She shuffled even closer to her big sister, throwing an arm around her shoulders and pulling her into her. They stayed like that for a while, Kara holding Alex, rubbing soothing patterns into her back, and Alex just holding onto her little sister, willing herself to believe Kara’s words.

She needed Maggie’s birthday to come already. As terrified of the day as she was, she needed to  _ know _ . Even if it wasn’t her…

“I do love her,” she said, and even though her voice was quiet the words seemed to ring in her ears. Because that was the first time she’d said it out loud, and whoa, okay, yeah, it was real. And the nervous excitement that seemed to fill her whole body was kind of terrifying but in the best way.

The quiet of the living room then filled Kara’s excited squeal and the popping sound of Alex’s back as Kara squeezed her just a bit too tightly, making Alex regret not pulling away before she told her.

“Oh my gosh, Alex, I’m so sorry!” Kara pulled back quickly, looking at her sister for any sign of injury.

“It’s okay, Kara,” Alex said as she straightened her back, leaning back a little till she heard a satisfying pop. “I’m okay.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh my Rao you’re in love with Maggie!” Kara squealed excitedly. “When are you gonna tell her?”

“I, uh, I don’t know,” Alex shrugged, scratching at the back of her neck.

“You don’t know?”

“I mean, isn’t it kind of too soon for this?”

“I don’t know… You know I don’t know much about how this soulmate stuff works, but I honestly don’t think it’s too soon,” Kara said.

Alex groaned, dropping her head into Kara’s lap dramatically and burying her face in her hands. “It’s not like  _ I _ know much about all of it.”

“What? Come on, you’ve read all those books ab-“

“Books are different, Kara,” Alex mumbled into her hands that were still covering her face. “Books don’t tell you shit about how much time you should take to fall in love or when and how to tell them.”

She froze when she heard her someone- that sounded an awful lot like her mom- clear their throat behind her. She sat up and turned around, as quickly as she could, to find her mom standing in the doorway of the living room, her arms crossed across her chest.

“Language, Alexandra,” Eliza said.

And Alex wanted to ease her mom into the conversation about everything that had happened, wanted to ask her how her day was maybe, before she dropped everything on her. But now she had to deal with an Eliza that looked just a tad bit more irritated than Alex needed her to be, and she felt like her heart was going to jump out of her chest.

“Mom, hi!” she said, her voice sounding overly cheerful even to her own ears.

Eliza studied her daughter with her eyes for a moment before she decided to join the girls on the couch, sitting on Kara’s other side. She was still looking at Alex, and Alex was getting more and more nervous, because fuck she pissed her mom off before even saying anything to her.

But Eliza’s eyes were soft, and for a moment there Alex thought she might’ve also seen a glimmer of pride, which made no sense, but Alex figured it was still better than an angry Eliza.

Unable to take her mother’s look anymore, she decided to break the silence. “So how was your d-“

“My little girl’s in love?” Eliza cut her off.

Alex’s mouth opened and closed a few times as her brain tried to process what her mother had said. She was not expecting  _ that _ . “I, uh, umm,” she cleared her throat and took a deep breath, willing herself to get a coherent sentence out, “So… you heard?”

Eliza gave her the warmest smile at that, and yeah, that was definitely pride in her eyes, and Alex was beyond confused. “Yeah, sweetie,” she said. “I didn’t mean to listen to your conversation, I just… overheard.”

Alex nodded in understanding as she tried to think of something,  _ anything  _ to say, besides the ‘ _ Mom I fucked up so bad. Please don’t kill me.’  _ that wouldn’t leave her mind.

“I’m  _ so _ happy for you, sweetie,” said Eliza, reaching over Kara- who was just sitting in the middle with the biggest smile on her face, watching the interaction- and took Alex’s hand into hers, giving it a light squeeze. “Maggie is  _ so _ great. I’m  _ so happy _ you have her.”

“Yeah, me too,” Alex said, a small smile on her lips.

“You should invite her over sometime soon again,” Eliza suggested. “I would really like to spend some more time with her. I mean, with the two of you. You just look so much happier when you’re around her, you know…”

Alex squeezed her mom’s hand back when she saw the tears that started welling up in Eliza’s eyes. “I really am, mom,” she said, and suddenly Eliza was up from her seat and next to Alex, hugging her tightly. And Alex let herself be held for a moment, gathering the courage to tell her mom what she needed to tell her.

But then Eliza pulled away, and leaned back against the couch, and took one of Alex’s hands into hers again, and just started talking about how perfect Maggie was for her. And Alex was confused to say the least, but who was she to complain when  _ her mom _ was literally  _ gushing _ about her girlfriend.

And there had never been a single thing in Alex’s life that Eliza didn’t find something wrong about. But she’d never said anything wrong about Maggie, not even a week ago when that whole hickey thing happened, and now she was telling Alex she thought Maggie was perfect for her, and Alex couldn’t believe it.

Maybe letting her mom gush about Maggie for a while wasn’t a bad idea…

So she sat there and talked with her mom and Kara, agreeing to bring Maggie over sometime soon. And even though it wasn’t long it felt like an eternity to her, because her heart was about to jump out of her chest with how wild it was beating, the whole thing didn’t even last ten minutes.

She felt her phone vibrate in her back pocket several times during the conversation, and she knew it was Maggie with her reassuring texts. And the fact that Maggie cared  _ so much _ \- granted, maybe she just thought Alex was having an aneurysm- made Alex feel all warm and fuzzy, and Alex just loved it, and she loved  _ her,  _ and it gave her that little bit of courage that she needed to finally say something.

“Um, mom?” she spoke up quietly.

Eliza turned her attention from Kara to Alex, looking over her face with worry in her eyes. “What is it, Alex?”

“I, uh, have to tell you something.”

“Is everything alright, sweetie?”

“No. Well, yes, but, no, I mean, ugh,” Alex took a deep breath, trying to compose herself.

“Alex, whatever it is you know you can tell me.”

“Maggie knows,” she said, avoiding her mother’s eyes.

“Knows?”

Hearing Eliza’s tone Alex didn’t need to look at her mom to know she had  _ that look _ on. The one that was just an inch away from the inevitable  _ ‘I’m so disappointed in you, Alexandra.’ _ The one that made Alex want to hide in her room and never come out, just so she wouldn’t have to see her mom look at her like that ever again.

“About Kara,” Alex said, her voice quiet.

When Eliza wasn’t saying anything Alex finally dared to look up, her heart dropping at the way her mom was looking at her.

“Eliza, it was my fault,” Kara cut in, placing a reassuring hand on Alex’s knee. “I didn’t even stop to think that the door could be locked and so when I swung it open it just kind of stayed in my hand and I-“

“You broke Alex’s door?”

“Yeah,” Kara nodded. “I’m  _ so  _ sorry.”

“It’s okay, don’t worry about it, sweetie,” Eliza smiled at Kara sweetly.

And if Alex didn’t know better she would’ve been relieved, hearing her mother’s gentle tone and seeing her sweet, reassuring smile. But she knew her mother better than that. She felt tears stinging in the corners of her eyes and tried to blink them back, not wanting to break down in front of her mother, not yet at least.

“Kara could you leave us alone for a moment? I’d like to talk to your sister alone.”

“But I wanted to talk to you about-“

“Just go upstairs, Alex will let you know when we’re done.”

“Okay,” Kara nodded, squeezing Alex’s knee reassuringly before she got up and headed upstairs.

“No eavesdropping, okay?” Eliza yelled after her.

“Okay.”

They were both silent for a little while, Alex looking at the coffee table in front of her, trying to ignore the fact that she could literally feel Eliza’s hard stare.

“Mom, I can explain,” Alex started when she couldn’t take the silence anymore, finally meeting her mother’s eyes. “We just-“

“What were you thinking, Alexandra?”

Alex swallowed roughly, clenching her jaw, because yep, there it was. And even though she hadn’t said it directly yet, Alex could hear it in Eliza’s voice, see it in her eyes. She disappointed her. Again.

“I didn’t think-“

“You didn’t think?”

“No, mom, I-“

“Alex she’s your little sister! You’re responsible for her,” Eliza said.

“I know, mom,” Alex said, barely managing to hide the tears in her voice.

“Do you?”

Alex felt as if she was shrinking under her mother’s eyes. She knew she messed up, and she knew her mom would be mad, but she’d learned that as much as she tried she could never really prepare herself for  _ the look _ .

“Because it seems to me that locking yourself up in that room- with Maggie, I assume,” Eliza paused, waiting for Alex to nod, “was more important than thinking about Kara’s safety.”

“Maggie won’t tell anyone mom, I trust her.”

“You can’t just blindly trust her because she’s your soulmate, Alexandra.”

Alex took a deep breath to calm herself down before speaking again. “It’s not just about her being my soulmate. She knows what it’s like when people don’t respect you and share your secrets… She would  _ never _ tell anyone,” she said. “There’s nobody I trust more than her, mom.”

“ _ I know _ , honey, I know,” Eliza said, her voice suddenly gentler, as she placed one of her hands on top of Alex’s. “And that’s normal, you’re in love and-“

“No, mom,” Alex cut her off, pulling her hands from under Eliza’s. “It’s- you don’t understand.”

“I understand that you’re in love and that everything seems to be so shiny, and that whenever Maggie smiles you have butterflies in your stomach, and that you want to spend every single moment with her… And Maggie’s great, I really like her and I’m happy she’s your soulmate, but  _ Alex _ being in love doesn’t mean you’re allowed to be so irresponsible now. You still need to look out for your sister.”

“I do look out for h-”

“Oh really? Because I feel like we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now if you really did, Alexandra.”

Alex drew in a deep breath, willing herself not to cry until she was in the safety of her room. 

“You can’t let Maggie distract you so much.”

“Distract me?” Alex asked, raising her eyebrows. She tried to breathe, to get her anger under control, knowing an outburst wouldn’t really help her already bad situation. “Maggie’s not a ‘ _ distraction’,  _ mom. She is so-”

“Amazing, I know, sweetie, I know.” Alex balled her hands into fists and dug her fingernails into her palms in an attempt to ground herself. “But, again, if you weren’t so distracted you would’ve thought about the possibility of-”

“Of Kara breaking my door?” Alex asked, unable to hold back any longer. 

“I wasn’t done talking, Alexandra,” Eliza said. Alex just rolled her eyes, knowing she was walking on a pretty thin ice but she couldn’t find it in her to care anymore. “I know this is all very new and exciting for you but you can’t put Maggie before Kara. Your sister needs you, she-” 

“So you’re saying I have to choose?” 

“No, I didn’t say that, Alex. I’m just saying that your sister should  _ always  _ come first.”

She stood up from the couch, hoping her mom was done talking and wouldn’t make her sit back down because she couldn’t take anymore of this. “You never listen,” she mumbled as she turned around, heading upstairs.

~ ~ ~

Alex was lying in her bed, the shirt that Maggie had left there earlier that day hugged tightly to her chest. She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, rereading through the texts Maggie sent her after the conversation with Eliza. Maggie told her how perfect she was, that it wasn’t her fault, that she would never tell anyone, that it could’ve happened to anyone- with a super-powered sibling.

That she was there for Alex, always.

She still felt as worthless and useless as always after one of those talks with her mom, but having Maggie tell her all of that made her feel at least a little better.  And she wished that Maggie could really be there so she could hold her. But after her talk with Eliza it didn’t really seem like a good idea. Especially since she had no door.

She heard footsteps on the stairs and then a soft nock on her doorframe. Turning around she saw Kara, standing there and looking at her with concerned eyes.

“Hey,” Kara said softly.

“Hi,” Alex said, smiling weakly.

“Can I come in?”

Alex just patted the bed beside her, shifting a bit to make some space for her. Kara walked over swiftly, lying down beside her sister, and lifted one of her arms so Alex could tuck herself into her, pulling her closer.

“I’m sorry,” Kara whispered.

“You’ve nothing to apologize for, Kara,” Alex said and pulled back a little to look at Kara’s face. “It was my fault. I shouldn’t have-“

“No, Alex,” Kara cut her off. “I love Eliza so much, but I  _ hate _ what she told you.”

“Didn’t mom tell you not to eavesdrop?” 

“Not the point now, Alex.”

“I mean, she  _ was  _ kind of right…”

“No, she wasn’t,” Kara shook her head. “It was my fault and she should honestly stop being so hard on you.”

“Kara-“

“No, Alex, you’re the best big sister anyone could ever ask for, and you don’t deserve to be treated like that.”

“I mean, at least she didn’t tell me what a disappointment I am this time,” Alex shrugged. “Not directly, anyways…”

“Alex, you’re not a disappointment, okay? You’re amazing! Like… the exact opposite of a disappointment! And if you don’t believe me ask Maggie or Lucy or James or Winn or anyone, really, you’re amazing, Alex.”

Alex blinked back the few tears that had made their way into her eyes, hugging her little sister as tight as she could.

“Did you tell her?” she asked, needing to change the subject.

The look Kara gave her told her that they’d get back to this soon, but she knew not to push her big sister, so she just nodded.

“What’d she say?” Alex asked curiously.

“That we should probably call Clark, but I said that we’ve already called him,” Kara said. “And that calling him was your idea.”

Alex smiled at how thoughtful her little sister was. “And?”

“Well, she wasn’t too thrilled about the whole Luthor thing, but I think she was pretty okay with it…”

“I’m really happy for you, Kar,” Alex said, smiling.

“Yeah, I, uh- Is that Maggie’s shirt?” Kara frowned, pointing to the shirt that Alex had clutched to her chest tightly.

“No?”

“She literally had that on today, Alex.”

“Yeah, okay, it is her shirt,” she said. “And I know I’m being ridiculous but with everything that’s happened today… I don’t know it just calms me. As weird as that sounds.

“You’re too adorable,” Kara said, looking at her sister with a huge grin on her face.

Alex tried to look as serious as she could and glare at her sister, but she couldn’t really help the smile that tugged on her lips. “You know you’re dead if you tell anyone, right?”

“Yep.”

“Good.”

Alex snuggled into her sister, letting Kara hold her. She tried not to think about her conversation with her mom, tried to push all the thoughts of disappointing her again, of not being enough again, out of her head. And after a while she felt herself drifting off to sleep, wrapped in the safety of her sister’s arms, clutching onto Maggie’s crumpled t-shirt.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos and comments are amazing! i always love to hear what y'all think so please, leave a comment or come talk to me on tumblr, [peggycarterislife](http://peggycarterislife.tumblr.com/)
> 
> (i've been called the jake peralta of mommy issues, so the alex/eliza part was pretty hard for me to write, especially since my relationship with my mom is pretty similar to the one that alex has with her mom so... my apologies if it was bleh but yeah...)
> 
> and as i said this week's gonna be fucking awful so i don't know when i'll be able to update... i promise i'll do my best tho!


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the coming out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M ALIVE!! i feel like i'm gonna die any moment now (15 exams in a week will do that to you) but I'M ALIVE!! AND FLO IS COMING BACK AND I HAVE A REASON TO LIVE AGAIN!! #ilovemyendgamelesbiansoulmates  
> i actually had this chapter ready yesterday but i kind of sort of fell asleep and forgot to post it... i'm tired okay? :D anyways... i hope you'll enjoy:)

Alex was leaning against the side of Lucy’s car, wearing an unbuttoned flannel and Maggie’s shirt under it- it was one of the shirts that was just a tad too long for her but fit Alex perfectly- and she smiled that perfect smile when Maggie hopped out of the car, and Maggie felt like her heart actually stopped beating for a moment.

She could literally feel how tense Alex was when she hugged her, and the fact that the tension seemed to leave her body when she buried her face in Maggie’s neck and took a deep breath made the butterflies in her stomach go crazy.

God, she loved her.

“I missed you so much,” Alex mumbled against the skin of her neck.

Maggie soothed one of her hands down Alex’s back, pulling her in a little closer. “It wasn’t even 24 hours, Danvers,” she said, but she couldn’t help the smile that made its way on her face at the thought of Alex missing her just as much as she missed Alex.

“So? Am I not allowed to miss my girlfriend?” Alex asked and Maggie tightened her embrace because she knew that Alex didn’t miss her just because they weren’t together for a little over twelve hours, but because of what happened with Eliza.

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

Alex pulled back, shaking her head. “Not now,” she said. “Let’s just focus on this whole coming out thing now. We can talk about my mommy issues later.”

Maggie nodded, trying to ignore the nervous feeling in her stomach. “Okay.”

“You lovebirds done?” Lucy asked as she rolled down the window and poked her head out. “I mean no pressure but you know how much that bitch Adams hates me, and I don’t really feel like pissing her off…”

“You ready?”

She didn’t say anything, just nodded, taking a deep breath to steady her nerves and took Alex’s hand into her trembling one. Alex gave it a reassuring squeeze and pressed a kiss to her temple.

“You good if I take the flannel off?” Alex asked and Maggie’s heart nearly burst inside her chest at the soft look in her eyes and the fact that Alex just _cared so much_ _about her_.

She didn’t say anything again, just nodded silently and let go of Alex’s hand long enough for her to take the shirt off and stuff it into her backpack. Lucy walked over to them after locking the car and Maggie noticed right away that her ever-present cocky attitude wasn’t there. She was looking at her with kind eyes and a small smile and Maggie had never seen her like this before.

“It’s gonna be okay,” Lucy said as she put her hand on Maggie’s shoulder. “If someone’s really stupid enough to be a dick about it I’ll personally rip their head off.”

“I don’t think that would be worth the jail time,” Maggie chuckled.

“My mom’s a top notch lawyer, I’ll get away with it,” Lucy smirked, her cocky attitude back and Maggie had to blink back tears because wow Alex’s best friend really cared about her. Alex’s best friend was her friend too.

She had friends who  _ cared _ about her now.

Alex threw her backpack over her shoulder and offered her hand out to Maggie, who tangled their fingers together. And if she squeezed a bit too tight Alex didn’t say anything, just smiled as she pressed one last kiss to Maggie’s temple and started walking towards the school.

Maggie could hear her heartbeat in her ears. Hell, she could feel it in her chest. Beating louder and faster the closer they got to the school, and her thoughts were whirring in her head.

A part of her brain still couldn’t believe that she was holding Alex Danvers’ hand  _ out in public _ , couldn’t believe that when glanced at Alex she was walking with her head held high and looked  _ proud _ to be holding Maggie’s hand, and that when Alex looked at her she had the sweetest smile on her face, and  _ god  _ Alex had  _ her name _ written on her forearm and now everyone would know.

But a different part of her brain couldn’t stop screaming that she was holding  _ a girl’s hand out in public,  _ and that the last time she held hands with a girl like this was four years ago with Eliza and even though it was platonic for her friend, Maggie’s heart was going just as crazy as it was now. And then she told her she liked her and then suddenly the whole school knew and-

“Mags,” Alex’s voice pulled her out of her thoughts.

“Yeah?”

“Breathe, okay?”

Maggie nodded and took a deep breath, smiling at her girlfriend weakly.

“I’m here for you, okay? And so are they,” Alex said, smiling, and when Maggie turned around to see what Alex meant she had to bite her lip to keep herself from tearing up again because Kara, James and Winn were all standing by the entrance and it looked like they were waiting for them .

“Hey guys!” they all said in almost perfect unison.

“Hey,” Maggie said, a small worried smile on her lips, as she kept looking around at the people that walked by. “What are you guys doing here?”

“Waiting for you,” Winn said, frowning as if it wasn’t obvious.

“Yeah, but why?”

“We wanted to be here for you, Mags,” James said. “If anyone has anything bad to say they’ll have us to deal with.”

She bit her bottom lip as it wobbled. “Thank you,” she said, her voice small.

“That’s what the Superfriends are for,” Winn said, smiling.

“We are  _ so _ not calling ourselves that, Schott,” Alex grumbled even as she couldn’t help but smile at her friend.

“You’re a part of the family now, Maggie,” Kara said and Maggie squeezed Alex’s hand even harder.

Family.

Kara called her family and Winn said that she was a part of the Superfriends- and as much as Alex grumbled about the name she knew she secretly loved it- and Maggie had never had friends who _cared_ _so much_ about her.

She buried her face in Alex’s shoulder and Alex’s fingers went right into her hair. She took a deep breath and willed the tears to go away because she had a reputation to uphold and she had already almost cried twice this morning.

“You okay?” Alex asked.

“Yeah,” Maggie breathed, taking one more deep breath before pulling back. “Shall we?”

Alex nodded and her hold on Maggie’s hand tightened as they walked through the door. Maggie was expecting everyone to stare at them the second they walked in, and even though it felt like everyone was looking at them, ready to call them all the names the kids back in Blue Springs had, nobody seemed to notice.

Everyone seemed to be too busy talking to their friends, copying their homework or rushing to the class, to notice. And those few people that did look at them, and noticed their joined hands didn’t seem to care, some of them smiling at them as they passed by.

And after a few moments of no one paying attention to them, she finally let herself enjoy the feeling of holding Alex’s hand in front of everyone, let herself laugh with  _ her friends _ at some stupid joke that Winn had said. She let herself look at Alex and enjoy just how ridiculously beautiful she was when she laughed with her head thrown back and the look in her eyes that seemed to be filled with pride and joy.

They walked them all the way to the chemistry classroom and promised to meet at lunch before the Superfriends went their own way, telling them to let them know if they needed them to kick someone’s ass.

Alex turned around in her seat so she would face Maggie, intertwining their fingers on top of Maggie’s desk.

“Thank you,” Maggie said, tracing patterns with her thumb over Maggie’s knuckles.

Alex frowned. “What for?”

“Asking the ‘ _ Superfriends _ ’-“

“Please don’t call them that,” Alex said, scrunching up her nose.

Maggie laughed, shaking her head. “Come on, you like it.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Alex.”

“Maggie?”

“Come on.”

“Fine, I do,” she said. “But don’t tell Winn.”

“Okay,” said Maggie. “Seriously though, thank you.”

“Don’t thank me, it wasn’t my idea.”

“James?”

“No, Winn, actually…”

Maggie’s eyes went wide, blinking a couple times. “Really?”

“Yeah. He was there when Rick was a dick the first time, and he thought it’d be good for you to have them all there…”

Maggie bit her bottom lip when she felt it quivering again, the third time this morning. But she couldn’t really find it in her to care about the reputation she had to uphold. Because they all cared about her  _ so much _ .

Because she was a part of something now. A part of the Superfriends, a part of the family. And even though they hadn’t known her for a long time they all liked her for who she was and they all wanted to be there for her even though she didn’t ask them, even though only Alex and James knew what had really happened to her.

“I-,“ she opened her mouth to say something but no words came out, her brain still struggling to process the fact that she had these amazing people in her life now.

“You deserve it, Mags,” Alex smiled, bringing Maggie’s hand to her lips and pressing a soft kiss to her knuckles.

Maggie wished they weren’t in public right now so that she could just climb into Alex’s lap and kiss her to within an inch of her life, to tell her how happy she was she had her in her life, how much she loved her.

But there was a class full of people and Maggie felt like all of their eyes were on them as Alex’s lips pressed to the back of her hand. And then the bell rang and the teacher walked into the room and Alex let go of her hand so she could turn around and Maggie wanted to kick the tiny part of herself that was actually relieved when Alex let go.

There was a bigger part of her though, that wanted nothing more than to take her hand again and never let go. The feeling of everyone in the class staring at her, even though everyone was paying attention to the teacher, was persistent and she needed Alex to ground herself. Instead of reaching out and touching her, she settled for watching the steady rise and fall of her shoulders as she breathed, willing the time to go faster.

~ ~ ~

Rumours spread quickly at Midvale High and by the time she was walking to her third lesson of the day, History with Mrs. Smith, she could hear people whispering as she walked by. But she didn’t mind because most of them were not so subtly pointing at her, whisper-yelling loud enough that she could hear what they were saying, and the fact that it was ‘ _ Look! That’s Alex Danvers’ soulmate! Yes, that Alex Danvers’ soulmate!’ _ made her carry herself prouder.

And when she finally made it to the cafeteria for lunch, Alex was already sitting at the table, talking to Winn, and Maggie didn’t even need to hear their conversation to know that they were talking about nerd stuff. Because Alex had that crinkle between her eyes as she listened to Winn, his hands flying everywhere as he talked. And then her eyes lit up excitedly when he finished and Maggie just chuckled to herself when Alex started talking and Winn bit his lip as he tried to concentrate on what she was saying, and Alex’s hands were flying everywhere now, and Maggie was just so in love with her nerd of a girlfriend.

She made her way over to the table, sitting right next to Alex, leaving barely any space between the two of them. “Hey,” she greeted the two of them as she placed her lunch on the table.

“Maggie,” Alex beamed, her eyes lighting up even more when she looked at her girlfriend.

“My favorite good egg is here!”

“Schott,” they both said in perfect unison, glaring at their friend.

Winn put his hands up in defense, turning his attention back to his lunch, and Maggie could swear she heard him mumble ‘ _ So married.’  _ before he stabbed his fork into the food in front of him.

“How’s your day so far?” Alex asked. “Do I need to kick someone’s ass?”

“Nope,” she shook her head. “Do I?”

“No.”

“Good. So what were you nerds talking about?”

“Pftt, nerds?” Alex scoffed, cocking an eyebrow, and Maggie’s heart felt fit to burst because of how adorable her girlfriend was.

“Oh, I found this super cool video,” Winn started after swallowing his bite, not even bothering to protest the fact that Maggie had called him a nerd, “where scientist managed to make water freeze and boil at the same time thanks to the triple poi-“

“Yeah, nerds.”

“Shut up!” Alex whined, bumping Maggie’s shoulder with hers. “It’s actually really cool! Like, as the liquid boils, high energy molecules leave the liquid as gas, lowering the temperature of the liquid left behind which causes it to freeze. And the whole process of boiling and freezing continues while the substance remains at the same pressure and temperature! Isn’t that just amazing?”

Maggie couldn’t help the smile that spread across her face as she watched Alex ramble about the science behind the video that Winn was now showing her. And as cool as she had to admit that it was to see the liquid freeze just to start boiling a second later, she couldn’t tear her eyes away from Alex’s excited smile and her bright eyes.

And she got a very strong urge to kiss her, so she asked her quietly if it was okay, making Alex stutter over her words and blush. But then she was nodding her eyes wide and cheeks slightly flushed and Maggie’s heart felt like it was going to beat out of her chest because she loved nerd Alex, and she loved flustered Alex, and she just  _ loved  _ Alex.

But instead of blurting those three words right then and there, in the middle of the cafeteria, she leaned in and pecked Alex’s lips gently. And when Alex pulled back she had that soft look in her eyes, the one that Maggie knew was reserved for her, and Maggie was so happy they were out now because she could hold her hand now and lean into Alex’s side as they both ate their lunch.

The rest of their friends joined them a moment later. James talking to Kara about an article she was working on for the young reporter completion that she had joined. Winn listened to the two of them as he finished his lunch, while Lucy teased Alex and Maggie in her true little shit fashion, making Alex blush and stutter and choke on her water a few times. Maggie just laughed at her girlfriend’s reactions, hoping Lucy didn’t notice her blush at a couple of her comments.

And Maggie felt so great, so happy, so safe, surrounded by her  _ friends _ , getting teased for liking a girl but in a good way, and with said girl leaning into her side the whole time as she blushed and stammered through her best friend’s comments.

It wasn’t till after all of their friends had gone their own ways after the lunch, hurrying to the classes before the bell rung. The two of them were walking down the hall hand in hand, headed for the gym, when someone knocked into Maggie.

They both turned around, expecting the person to apologize, and Maggie herself ready to apologize to the person. But when they turned around Maggie gripped Alex’s hand tighter, feeling Alex’s grip tighten as well.

“I thought you weren’t  _ that _ stupid, dick,” Alex said through clenched teeth.

“Rick, it’s Rick, Alex,” he said calmly. “And I honestly didn’t care that much as long as you kept it just for you, but  _ this, _ ” he said, gesturing between the two of them, “this is just disgusting.”

“Fuck off, Malverne,” Alex growled, taking half a step in front of Maggie, shielding her. And as much as Maggie loved her for being so protective, she hated herself for being so weak, for freezing again.

“No, you fuck off. I don’t need to see this every day at school, I-“

“Then don’t look?”

“Oh come on, Alex,” he said, taking a step closer. “You could do so much better than  _ that _ ,” he cocked his head in Maggie’s direction. “Rumor has it that not even her own parents wanted her, that’s why she’s living with her aunt, is that true?”

Maggie knew how hard holding back and not punching the idiot square in the face was. She could  _ feel _ how incredibly angry Alex was, her anger the only thing Maggie could feel at the moment.

“It’s none of your fucking business.”

“So it is true… You could do so much b-“

“Don’t even finish that sentence or-“

“Or what? You’re not gonna hit me Alex,” he said. “We both know how much you don’t wanna disappoint your mom.”

She felt Alex tense up at Rick’s words, and with a deep breath she stepped from behind her. “Fuck off, Rick,” she said, honestly proud of herself when her voice came out stronger than she’d expected.

He looked like he was about to say something, but then someone tapped him on the shoulder and Maggie was pretty sure he was flying to the ground before he could even turn around.

“You heard them, fuck off,” Kate said, shaking her hand off.

He scrambled from the floor, looking at the small crowd of people that had gathered around before he quickly ran away, holding his bleeding nose, clearly deciding that trying to salvage what was left of his dignity wasn’t worth the detention time.

“Thanks,” Alex said when Kate came closer to the two of them.

“No problem,” Kate smiled brightly.

“No, really, thank you,” said Maggie.

“Seriously, if you ever find a self-righteous dickhead that needs punching, please let me know.”

Alex chuckled. “We will.”

“Listen, I, uh, I’m sorry for hitting on Maggie… I had no idea,” she said, pointing at the soulmark on Alex’s arm.

“It’s okay,” Alex said. “It’s not like you knew…”

“Yeah,” Kate smiled nervously, scratching at the back of her neck. “I’d really like it if we could be friends again…”

Maggie glanced to Alex quickly before smiling brightly and nodding her head. “I’d like that too.”

“If you hit on her again, you’re dead,” Alex quipped in.

“Noted,” Kate nodded. “Okay I gotta run… See you guys later!”

“So,” Alex started after they bid their goodbyes, “do you have any plans for tonight?”

“Isn’t it Friday?”

“Yep.”

“Don’t you guys have sister night?”

“Kara said it’s okay, with everything that happened yesterday…”

“Oh, okay,” she nodded, worrying on her bottom lip.

“Unless you don’t wanna do anything?”

“No, I uh, I just… Eliza isn’t gonna be thrilled to see me,” she said. She could see Alex’s shoulders fall a little as she nodded, saying that Maggie was probably right. “Do you wanna come over to mine?”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Maggie nodded. “We can order pizza and watch a movie.”

“Like the first time?”

“Like the first time,” Maggie nodded, smiling.

“Is Izzy gonna be home?” Alex asked when they entered the locker room.

“No, she’s working the nightshift,” Maggie said, throwing her backpack on the bench. “Why? Do you have any plans, Danvers?”

Alex spluttered, a blush creeping on her face, and Maggie had to try real hard to keep herself from laughing. “What? No! No, I, uh, no. I was just asking cause I wanted to know if I should prepare myself for meeting your family _. _ I don’t have, uh, plans. I’m perfectly fine to eat some pizza and fall asleep watching a movie… Unless you wanna, uh, have some plans?”

Maggie swallowed, trying to get the very inappropriate images out of her head. “I, uh, no,” she shook her head.

“Okay,” Alex nodded, pulling her shirt over her head and smirking at Maggie when her eyes widened. And god was that smirk doing things to her… “Maggie?”

“Yeah?”

“First in the gym gets to choose the movie?”

“You’re on, Danvers,” Maggie said as she pulled her eyes away from her girlfriend reluctantly, not willing to lose without a fight.

Even though it didn’t really matter to her because either way she was going to spend the evening with Alex curled into her side. And more likely than not, they weren’t even going to get through the whole movie…

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos and comments are amazing! i always love to hear what y'all think so please, leave a comment or come talk to me on tumblr, [peggycarterislife](http://peggycarterislife.tumblr.com/) (I'M LIKE SO PUMPED THAT FLO'S COMING BACK COME YELL WITH ME)


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> date night and some confessions... oh and alex meets maggie's aunt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so i know this took me a tad longer than i said it would but i didn't like the first version of this so i deleted that, then the second one got deleted by my dickhead of a laptop and then life happened and just yeah... i hope you'll enjoy the useless fluff :D

She went through her mental checklist of things, trying to remember if she hadn’t forgotten anything. She had a couple of Maggie’s t-shirts- because Maggie’s smell had faded and Alex needed her to wash them and wear them- and the DVDs stuffed in her backpack- because even though she had won, she didn’t want to watch something that Maggie wouldn’t like, so she had decided to grab a couple of her favourite movies and let Maggie choose. She had told her mom she was going to Lucy’s, since she knew her mom wouldn’t be thrilled about her skipping movie night with Kara to be with Maggie after everything that happened the day before. She had also asked Lucy to cover for her in case her mom called. And Kara was at Winn’s so she wouldn’t have to worry about her sister’s poor lying skills.

Deciding she probably didn’t forget anything, she finally knocked on the door and waited for Maggie to open. Her heart skipped a beat when Maggie opened the door and grinned that big dimpled smile that Alex just _loved_ _so_ _much_.

“Danvers,” she said, stepped back a little so Alex could come in and closed the door. She turned around and looped her arms around Alex’s neck, pulling her down into a soft kiss.

“Hi,” Alex breathed when she pulled back, resting her head against Maggie’s.

“Hey,” Maggie said, her dimples deep as she smiled at her.

They stayed like that for a moment, foreheads pressed together, holding each other close, just breathing the other in. Maggie moved her fingers to Alex’s hair, carding them through the short locks.

“Okay so, as the great girlfriend that I am,” Alex started when she pulled back enough to look at Maggie, “I’ve decided I’d bring more options and let you choose what we’d watch.”

“Oh wow,” Maggie gasped, clasping a hand over her heart dramatically. “The great Alex Danvers is going soft on me.”

Alex slapped her arm lightly, chuckling. “Oh shut up.”

“Never.”

“I hate you.”

“Oh come on Danvers, we all know you lo-like me.”

Alex’s heart nearly stopped at Maggie’s slip-up. But even if Maggie did say ‘love’ it wouldn’t mean anything, right? Alex tried to get her racing heart to calm down and ignore Maggie’s wide eyed, panicked look, which made it seem like the near slip-up was anything but meaningless.

“Yeah, I do,” Alex said, hoping Maggie would get what she meant, because as much as she was dying to say those three words, they seemed to be stuck in her throat.

Maggie drew in a deep breath and pulled her in for a soft, lingering kiss, one that made Alex think that Maggie understood what she wasn’t saying.

“Come on, Danvers,” she said after they pulled back, before Alex had a chance to even think about  _ really _ telling her. Maggie laced her fingers through Alex’s, pulling her into the living room. She sat down on the couch and patted the space beside her, waiting for Alex to take her backpack off and sit down as well. “Please tell me you have at least one solid option in there.”

“Pftt, of course I do,” Alex said as she plopped down next to Maggie. She unzipped her backpack and pulled Maggie’s shirts out first, throwing them at her girlfriend. “They don’t smell like you anymore,” she explained when Maggie frowned in confusion.

“So soft.”

“Shut up or I’m not letting you pick a movie,” Alex grumbled, shooting Maggie a playful glare.

Maggie put her hands up in surrender. “Okay, okay, I’ll stop calling you soft.”

“Thank you.”

“For now.”

“Maggie.”

“I swear I won’t tell anyone, babe.”

Alex just shook her head before she opened her backpack again, ready to show Maggie what movies she’d brought. But before she could pull out a single DVD out of her backpack, Maggie’s voice, much softer now, all traces of teasing gone, made Alex look back at her.

“Al?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you wanna talk about yesterday?”

Alex blinked a couple of times, not saying anything, before she dropped her backpack to the ground. She pulled her legs up to her chest and shrugged. “I don’t know,” she said. “I mean, there’s really nothing to talk about…”

“You were really upset and you still are, Alex, I can feel it.”

She drew in a shuddering breath. Of course she was still upset. This is how it always was after an argument with her mom. It also depended on what they argued about but it mostly took a couple of days for Alex to get over it, to get over feeling like an utter disappointment.

And this time it was about Kara, about how she wasn’t the good big sister she was supposed to be, and Alex was used to those by now. They still hurt, but not as much as they used to.

But this time it was also about Maggie. About her sweet, perfect, kind Maggie. She spent most of the night lying awake, thinking about what her mom had said. Trying to convince herself that her mom wasn’t right, and when she realized she couldn’t do that, trying to come up with a way to be both, the perfect big sister for Kara and Maggie’s girlfriend, but she-

“I can literally hear you thinking right now, Al,” Maggie pulled her out of her thoughts, shuffling to sit closer to Alex, but not touching her.

“I’m sorry.”

“Babe, you’ve got nothing to apologize for.”

“But I kind of do,” Alex said, turning to the side to face Maggie. “I shouldn’t be so upset about something so stupid, Maggie. I mean, mom was right, it  _ was _ my fault. If we hadn’t locked the door Kara wouldn’t have broken it and so it was my fault.”

“Alex, no-“

“Yeah, Maggie,” she said and took Maggie’s hands into her own. “I don’t know how to juggle all of this yet, but I swear I’ll figure out how to be good enough for all of you- you, mom, and Kara. And I’m sorry I don’t know how to do that yet. I swear I’ll get better. I’m so sorry.”

They just looked at one another for a while, Alex’s mind racing a mile a minute, before Maggie asked, “Are you done now?”

Alex’s eyes went wide. She nodded, her heart feeling like it was going to beat out of her chest.

“Okay, so I guess it’s my turn to apologize now-“

“Maggie, what-“

“No, please just let me,” she said, squeezing Alex’s hands. “It was my idea to lock the door-“

“But I didn’t stop you!”

“Well what would you have said? ‘Don’t lock the door my sister’s supergirl?’”

“Supergirl?” Alex frowned.

“Yeah, you know, he’s Superman so I was thinking- wait no. That’s not important right now. What’s important is that  _ I _ locked the door so it’s really  _ my  _ fault not yours, and I’m sorry.”

Alex frowned. “But you didn’t know Kara would break the door! It’s not your fault, Maggie, it- oh,” Alex breathed when she finally realized what Maggie did.

Maggie grinned. “There you go.”

“But Maggie, I should’ve figured something out! I should’ve known that something like that could happen, especially since it’s happened like three times! I should’ve d-“

“No, you didn’t do anything wrong. Kara was supposed to be at Winn’s so of course you didn’t think about that. You had no idea she’d get her soulmark, if she didn’t she’d be with Winn and your door would still be in one piece. But you had no way to know that would happen.”

Maggie paused and Alex knew she was giving her time to process what she’d just said.

“So please stop beating yourself up over stuff like that,” Maggie said after Alex had given her a small, shaky nod. “You’re a perfect sister, and Kara tells you all the time. Hell, Winn considers you his big sister!”

Alex snorted at that, shaking her head. 

“My point is, I know Eliza can be hard,” Maggie said, and Alex realized she was crying as a couple of tears made their way down her cheeks when she nodded. “But I also know she loves you  _ so _ much, and I know, I  _ know _ that she doesn’t have the best way of showing it, but I’m sure that if you talk to her she’ll try to be better.”

“She never listens to me,” Alex said, shaking her head.

“I know it might be hard to get through to her,” Maggie said as she brought one of her hands to wipe Alex’s tears off of her cheeks. “But you have me. I’ll be there when you talk to her, if you, uh, if you want to. And if you don’t I’ll be there for you after you talk to her, no matter what happens.”

“Yeah?” Alex choked out, her throat burning with tears that she was trying to hold back.

“Of course,” Maggie smiled softly, squeezing Alex’s hands in hers. “I know it might not be enough but you’ll always have me, I’ll-“

“I love you,” Alex blurted out, cutting Maggie off.

She felt like her heart stopped for a moment- or maybe it was Maggie’s heart, she wasn’t sure- and watched as Maggie’s eyes went wide. She watched as tears filled her girlfriend’s eyes, a small smile twitching on the corners of Maggie’s lips, as she tried to make her mouth work and get some words out.

Alex wiped her own tears and cleared her throat, taking a deep breath before she spoke up, “You’re more than enough Maggie. You’re just, god, you’re just so perfect and I know it’s probably too soon but I do, I love you, and you don’t have to say anything-“

“I love you, too.”

Maggie’s voice was soft and small and her eyes were so, so vulnerable, and as she blinked a few tears made their way down her cheeks. Alex felt like her heart burst in her chest when Maggie smiled that big dimpled smile of hers.

She couldn’t believe it, Maggie loved her too.

Even though it had only been a couple of weeks Maggie didn’t seem to think it was too soon, Maggie felt the same way. She was in love with Maggie and Maggie was in love with her and Alex couldn’t help but think that life had never felt so perfect than now, sitting on this sofa with her girlfriend, both of them crying but also smiling so big their cheeks hurt, with Maggie holding her hands tightly in her own, her eyes shining with nothing but happiness.

“Yeah?” Alex breathed out.

Maggie bit her lip, nodding her head. “Yeah.”

Alex wiped her eyes, before framing Maggie’s face with her hands and pulling her into a soft, lingering kiss. They rested their foreheads together after they’d pulled apart, Alex tracing her thumbs along Maggie’s jaw.

“Can we, uh, could we just cuddle for a bit without watching anything?” Maggie asked after a while, her forehead still rested against Alex’s.

Alex pulled back, nodding. “Yeah,” she said. “We’re still watching one of my movies though,” she added after she lied down, shuffling a bit to make some room for Maggie.

“Of course, babe,” Maggie said.

After Maggie had lied down next to her, opening her arms for Alex, Alex tucked herself into Maggie’s side, throwing one leg over Maggie’s as her arm came to rest on her girlfriend’s stomach. She buried her nose in Maggie’s neck and sighed contently when Maggie tangled her fingers in her hair, scratching at her scalp lightly.

“Alex?”

“Hmm?”

“I love you.”

Alex smiled so big her cheeks hurt and moved a bit to place a gentle kiss to the underside of Maggie’s jaw. “I love you, too,” she said.

~ ~ ~

She didn’t know when she fell asleep- she couldn’t really help it with Maggie’s scent surrounding her, her warm body pressed against hers and her fingers carding through her hair- but suddenly she woke up to the sound of the front door slamming shut.

“I’m fine Tommy! It’s just a sprained wrist, my legs are fine. I can walk on my own.”

She felt her stomach drop when she realized who the voice belonged to, Maggie’s aunt. Maggie’s aunt was home even though she was supposed to be working. She was home and Alex was so not prepared to meet her, her brain still foggy with sleep.

She sat up quickly, probably too quickly, because the next thing she knew, she was on the ground between the couch and the coffee table. The yelp she let out when she fell made Maggie jolt awake.

She rubbed at her eyes tiredly, before realizing that Alex had fallen off of the couch. “You okay, babe?”

“Your aunt’s home!” Alex whisper yelled instead of answering Maggie’s question.

“What?” she asked, trying to prop herself up on her elbows. “Fuck my arm fell asleep,” she cursed, pushing herself up with her left arm.

“Tommy, I swear I’m okay!” came her aunt’s voice from the hallway.

“You’re hurt and stubborn. Please let me help you.”

Maggie’s eyes went wide when she heard that. She glanced in the direction of the hallway and back to Alex, clearly torn between running to her aunt to see if she was okay and staying here with Alex to calm her down.

She seemed to decide to stay with Alex as she stood up and offered her a hand to pull her up from the ground, and Alex knew it was because Maggie could feel how anxious she was.

“Don’t worry, babe,” Maggie said, not letting go of Alex’s hand. “You’re amazing, Izzy will love you.”

“I think I’m gonna be sick.”

“Hey, Al, you’re perfect and you have nothing to worry about, okay?”

Maggie clearly waited for her to reply but Alex just stared at her with wide eyes, her heart pounding in her ears.

“I love you,” she said when she realized Alex wasn’t going to say anything, that managed to make Alex smile a little.

“You too.”

“I’m here, and I swear I’ll hold your hand through the whole thing, like you did last week,” she paused, getting a nod from Alex. “I’ve got you, okay? You’re amazing, Alex.”

Alex forced herself to breath out an ‘ _ Okay’ _ and let Maggie lead her to the hallway, her heart beating like crazy because she was about to meet the most important woman in Maggie’s life, the woman who took her in when everyone else turned her back on her, and she was so wildly unprepared she had to use all her mental energy not to run away.

But she couldn’t run, and wouldn’t run, because Maggie wanted her to meet her aunt- granted, maybe not like this- and because Maggie said she was there for her and she trusted Maggie with everything she had.

“What happened?” Maggie asked as they stepped into the hallway.

“Your aunt’s hurt and won’t even let me help her take off her jacket,” the man said, turning around from Maggie’s aunt- who was clearly struggling to take her jacket off- to face the two of them. “Hey, Mags,” he said, smiling. He frowned for a second when his eyes landed on Alex, and Alex found herself gripping Maggie’s hand a bit tighter, before his whole face lit up, “Oh my god you must be Alex!”

That seemed to get Maggie’s aunt attention, she turned around, finally managing to take her jacket off and didn’t even bother to hang it, just threw it in the general direction of the hanger.

“I, uh, I, yeah,” Alex stuttered.

“I’ve heard so much about you! It’s so great to meet you, feels nice to finally put a face to the name,” he said, walking closer to her and offering Alex his hand to shake. “I’m Tommy by the way, Izzy’s boyfriend.”

Alex shook his hand, hoping he didn’t notice how clammy her hand was. “Hi.”

“I’m sorry to interrupt your date,” Izzy spoke up, walking over to them. “But I’ve been dying to meet you so I’m not really  _ that _ sorry.”

“It’s, uh, it’s lovely to finally meet you Ms. Sawyer,” Alex said, smiling, and hoping that they couldn’t tell she was literally dying on the inside.

“Oh come on, kid,” Izzy scoffed. She smiled and Alex couldn’t help herself but wonder if all the Sawyers had those ridiculous dimples. “Call me Izzy, I’m not that old.”

“Right, yeah, okay, uh, Izzy.”

“I’m gonna grab you some Advil, Iz,” Tommy said.

“I don’t need painkillers, I’m fine!”

“I can literally feel how much it hurts!” he huffed, leaving the three of them alone.

“Care to explain what happened to you?” Maggie asked, cocking her head to the side.

Izzy huffed, walking around the two of them, and sat down on the couch in the living room. The two of them followed her, sitting close to one another, Alex in the corner of the couch and Maggie leaning against her. Alex could feel the worry flowing through Maggie’s body.

“So,” Izzy started, “we were chasing these perps and-“

“Since when does that stand for, I tripped on the stairs cause I was too busy reading the file in my hands to watch where I was going?”

“Oh shut up,” Izzy grumbled, taking the pill and the glass of water from him.

They talked for a while, Maggie and Tommy teasing Izzy, and Alex found herself much more relaxed. She was happy that Maggie had someone like Izzy in her life, and she saw who Maggie took all those good qualities from- she couldn’t imagine that Maggie’s parents could be so kind and warm- and understood why her girlfriend looked up to the woman so much.

It was about an hour later- Alex was sitting with her arm draped around Maggie’s shoulders, Maggie leaning into her, and Alex couldn’t understand why she’d been so nervous about this- when it happened.

Izzy asked Tommy to bring her a glass of water, but Alex could see she told him something with her eyes and she couldn’t help the way her stomach clenched nervously. And then she asked Maggie to go order the pizza, giving her the same exact look and Alex knew, yeah, Alex knew what was happening, and yeah she was fucked.

Maggie gave her a small smile as she got up from the couch, squeezing her hand reassuringly, and as hard as she tried to find some comfort in it, she couldn’t. Because she was suddenly alone with Izzy and Izzy’s face was still warm and open but there was something hard behind her eyes, and this was the most important person in Maggie’s life and god she couldn’t fuck this up.

She folded her hands in her lap and started picking on her cuticles, waiting for Izzy to say something, wishing Maggie would come back soon.

Izzy stood up from her seat and sat down closer to Alex, pointing at her left arm. “May I?”

“Oh, yeah, sure,” Alex said, extending her arm so Maggie’s aunt could see the mark.

Izzy smiled softly, her dimples barely noticeable. “You have no idea how happy she was when she came home after you told her,” she said, not looking up at Alex. “I hadn’t seen her so happy since that asshole that my sister married brought her to my house and left. I’m not saying that my sister’s innocent, far from it, but she at least sends me a text every once in a while, asking about her…”

Tears stung Alex’s eyes when Izzy looked up at her, anger and pain etched in the woman’s face.

“I’ve seen her go through  _ so much _ , and she’s strong, she really is, but she’s not unbreakable,” Izzy said. “She’s lost so many people, Alex. And I know she’s your soulmate and that the thought of ever leaving her might seem crazy but it’s not impossible.”

“Izzy, I-“

“Wait, let me finish cause Tommy won’t be able to hold her in that kitchen much longer,” Izzy said and rubbed her hands together nervously. “It’s not gonna be perfect, there will be some hard times, and I need to know you won’t walk away, or let her walk away. Because I don’t think I’ll be able to watch her lose more people, especially someone as important as you are. So I need you to promise me that you won’t let her go, no matter what.”

Alex nodded without hesitation, “I promise.”

“Good,” Izzy smiled. “But if you ever break that promise and hurt her, I swear I’ll hunt you down and-“

“Okay, good, because I’d deserve that,” Alex cut her off. “But I swear, I won’t let her go.”

“I like you, Alex,” Izzy grinned, her smile so similar to Maggie’s, and Alex’s heart swelled in her chest as Izzy pulled her into a hug, because her girlfriend’s aunt, the most important person in her life, liked her, thought she was good enough for Maggie.

“What’s going on?”

Maggie’s voice made them pull away, both trying to wipe their tears away as discreetly as possible. Izzy shuffled back to her spot so Maggie could sit next to Alex again, and Alex draped her arm around Maggie’s shoulders automatically.

Maggie looked at Alex with a frown on her face. “Were you crying?” she asked, turning to Izzy. “I told you to be nice Iz!”

“And I was!”

“Then why are you crying?” she turned back to look at Alex.

Alex just shook her head, smiling at her softly, and wiped her eyes one more time before pressing a kiss to her forehead. “I love you,” she breathed against her forehead, not missing the way Izzy’s eyes seemed to light up at her words.

Alex knew she’d never get tired of hearing those words from Maggie when she pulled back, with the biggest smile, triple dimple and all, and whispered those three words before she leaned in and kissed her softly.

“Reggie should be here in twenty minutes,” Tommy said as he walked into the room, putting the glass of water Izzy had asked for on the coffee table in front of her.

“Do you kids mind if we watch a movie with you?”

They both shook their heads no, as Alex reached for her backpack and pulled out the DVDs she had brought, which only made Maggie laugh because ‘ _ Oh my god Danvers only you could own all the Die Hard movies!”  _ and ‘ _ Why does my soulmate have a horrid taste in pizza and movies?!”  _ which made Alex’s heart swell because Maggie called her her soulmate.

And then the impossibly stupid grin on her face got even bigger when Maggie’s aunt grabbed one of the movies, rushing to put it into the DVD player while telling Maggie how great Alex was and how happy she was that the universe had given her a soulmate that knows what’s good.

She felt so incredibly content when Maggie tucked herself into her side, grumbling about how the movie was far from amazing as Alex carded her fingers through her hair. And when the pizza came Maggie and Tommy both gave Izzy and Alex a speech about how putting pineapple on pizza and calling it pizza is a disgrace- which made Izzy throw a pillow at his face because the pizza was from his restaurant. After he’d made an excuse about how it didn’t really matter when he could make some money out of it they all settled back to watch the movie.

And Alex let the stress of the week wash away as they watched  John McClane leap off of the Nakatomi Plaza, holding her girl close, knowing that everything would be alright because she had Maggie, and she loved her and Maggie loved her back, and she was never going to let her go.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soo one more to go (and if i don't chicken out there will be smut) i can't believe i'm almost done with this story... i never expected to get such an amazing feedback, your support honestly means the world to me guys, thank you! 
> 
> kudos and comments are amazing! i always love to hear what y'all think so please, leave a comment or come talk to me on tumblr, [peggycarterislife](http://peggycarterislife.tumblr.com/)


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> uhh there's smut in here,,, also maggie's soulmate reveal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so... uh.. as the summary says... there's smut in here... i'm sorry if it sucks? s'my first time writing smut so like... be gentle please?? :D  
> i'm sorry it took me so ling to update but life happened?? :D in a good way tho.. like twentygayteen treating me pretty gay good way.... anyways this chapter is pretty long so that should make up for the long wait?? i hope you'll like it and that it was worth the wait!!:)

Alex smiled as she blinked her eyes open, feeling Maggie’s body pressed up against hers, Maggie’s arm thrown around her waist. She took Maggie’s hand into hers, lacing their fingers together and her smile grew even bigger when their engagement rings brushed against one another. 

She brought their tangled hands up to her lips and dropped a kiss to Maggie’s palm, before moving her lips to Maggie’s forearm and kissing the soulmark that was there and wrapped it around herself tighter.

Seeing her own name on Maggie’s skin always made her feel giddy. Even after all those years it still felt as surreal and amazing as the first time, when they held each other tight in Maggie’s bed, both of them fearing that it would be someone else but both of them refusing to say it out loud.

And Alex couldn’t believe how far they’d come since then. How much their lives had changed- how she went from being a doctor doctor to being a doctor doctor special agent, and how the whole world knew Kara as Supergirl now.

And she couldn’t believe that she was actually going to get to marry her soulmate, that Maggie had said yes to the proposal she had blurted out a couple of months back when they were sitting on the couch, watching a movie and eating pizza. Alex had been planning to propose to her, she wanted it to be amazing and romantic and Maggie worthy. She even had the speech ready. But she couldn’t help herself in that moment and the words were out of her mouth before she knew it.

She started apologizing the moment her brain caught up with what had happened, because Maggie deserved better than that and damn it she had it all planned, Maggie just shook her head as tears filled her eyes, telling her that it didn’t matter, that it would’ve been perfect no matter how Alex did it, and that it was just  _ so her _ to blurt it out in the middle of a movie.

So here they were and Alex still couldn’t believe she’d get to call Maggie her wife,  _ her wife _ , in only 4 months, 3 weeks and 17- no, 16 days now.

Thinking back, Alex felt ridiculous when she remembered how worried she was about not being Maggie’s soulmate before she had gotten her mark. She remembered how she couldn’t sleep the night before Maggie’s birthday and she knew she wasn’t the only one, feeling Maggie’s anxiety through the bond. And Maggie’s tired eyes the next day at school told her she was right.

But as worried as she had been that day, it had turned out to be… simply great.

/~ ~ ~/

It had been weeks since the whole ‘Maggie knows’ incident. And Eliza had been treating her… well it had been worse but she wasn’t exactly the nicest when talking to Alex. She didn’t talk about it anymore but Alex could see the way her mom looked at her, could feel that she was always a bit more distant while talking to her- not that they talked a lot lately, and honestly, it was Alex’s fault for the most part since she’d been avoiding her mom as much as she could- and she could hear her mother’s voice in her head, telling her how she had failed her, again, every time they talked.

Maggie had only been to their house a handful of times in the past couple weeks, and only bumped into Eliza twice, but Alex had been relieved that her mother treated her girlfriend the same way she did when they first met.

So, yeah, it wasn’t great but Alex wasn’t complaining since it always could’ve been worse.

In the past couple of weeks she had learned how to avoid her mother as much as she could and how to cut their conversations short without giving Eliza a reason to be mad. And she had felt guilty a couple of times when she was almost  _ sure _ that her mom just wanted to talk to her, maybe wanted to make things between then good again, but she just found another stupid excuse so she wouldn’t have to talk to her, so she wouldn’t have to risk getting her mom angry again.

She had found a way to avoid it all, and she was honestly proud of herself.

And tonight was Friday but she wouldn’t have to worry about having to somehow worry about another sister night spent trying not to ditch Kara to avoid Eliza- because for the past couple of weeks she’d started coming home earlier, for some reason, and didn’t work as much at home, for some reason, and she watched movies with them on the last sister night, which made Alex want to scream because that made her plan of avoiding her  _ so much harder _ \- because tonight she wouldn’t be home.

But the thought of tonight was making her nervous for an entirely different reason.

Because tonight was  _ the night _ .

Maggie would get her mark tonight.

She’d get her mark tonight and just the thought of that made Alex  _ so _ anxious, she felt like she was going to be sick. And she felt like such an asshole for that because she knew Maggie could feel it too.

Maggie on the other hand was radiating excitement and  _ love _ \- she still couldn’t believe that she could actually feel how much Maggie loved her, how she was resonating it at all times- with just a tiny bit of fear. And the fact that Maggie was  _ so sure _ , and so, so brave made her fall for her even deeper.

Alex grabbed the neatly wrapped gift she had for Maggie from her bedside table and put it into her backpack. Shooting Maggie a quick text that she’d be right there, she pretty much ran down the stairs. She made her way into the kitchen to grab the pint of Maggie’s favorite ice cream that she had gotten earlier that day and threw it into her backpack, careful not to tear the wrapping paper on the gift.

“Alex?” her mom’s voice startled her as she was zipping up her backpack.

She spun around quickly, plastering the best smile she could manage over her face. “Hey mom,” she said. Alex was honestly hoping that she’d managed to leave before Eliza came home.

She’d known that the universe hates her for the longest time.

“Where are you going?”

“To Maggie’s.” She frowned. “I told you it’s-“

“I know,” Eliza cut her off but her voice was soft and her eyes were gentle so Alex forced herself to relax a little bit. “I just, well, do you want me to give you a ride?”

No.

Absolutely not.

Being locked in a small space with her mother for, what she assumed would be, the longest ten minutes of her life, where she’d be forced to talk to her, was exactly the last thing that Alex wanted.

Proud of herself for not blurting out the words, she shook her head no. “I can take my bike,” she said, shrugging. “It’s not far.”

“In this rain Alex?” her mom asked, cocking an eyebrow.

She looked out of the window and frowned. How the hell did she not notice it was fucking pouring outside? Well, she was kind of preoccupied with her own thoughts and with trying to quell the anxiety building up in her stomach.

“I can’t let you take your bike, sweetie.”

Alex’s eyes snapped back to her mom. She contemplated her options for a moment, but she knew she couldn’t be  _ that  _ obvious about avoiding Eliza. And she knew she was taking a moment too long to answer so she just smiled the brightest smile that she could manage and nodded, even though it was the last thing she wanted at the moment.

“Yeah, okay,” she said. “Thanks.”

~ ~ ~

They drove in silence, the splattering of raindrops on the windshield the only sound in the silence of the car. The radio wasn’t on and that was never a good sign. It always meant that Eliza had something to say, and most of the time it meant that Alex did something wrong. She fiddled with the straps of her backpack the whole time, waiting for her mom to say something. But Eliza stayed quiet the whole time and when they finally pulled up in front of Maggie’s house and Alex felt a wave of relief wash over her.

Alex turned to her mom to say goodbye, one hand on the door handle. “Thanks for the ride, mom,” she said, but Eliza didn’t even turn to face her, gripping the steering wheel tightly, and Alex knew there was no way she’d get out of the car without hearing whatever Eliza had to say. “Mom?”

Eliza drew in a deep breath and let go of the steering wheel, folding her hands in her lap, fiddling with her fingers nervously. “This… this isn’t easy for me Alex.”

Alex frowned. “What?”

“I, uh, Kara talked to me.”

Alex’s eyes went wide. She loved her little sister, and she knew her little sister had the best intentions but her little sister also had no filter.

“Mom, please, whatever she said, I, uh, I don’t wanna fight right now. I can’t, I-“

“Alex, just,” Eliza cut Alex off, finally turning to look at her, “listen to me. Please.”

Eliza’s tone was gentle and her eyes were wide, and Alex wasn’t sure because it was dark in the car but she thought that maybe she could see tears glistening in her mom’s eyes, so she nodded slowly.

“I’m sorry for how I reacted. I wasn’t fair, you always put your sister first-“

“That’s what you taught me to do.” Alex could feel the tears that were welling up in her eyes, so she clenched her jaw to keep herself from crying.

“I know. I  _ know _ it’s so unfair but Kara’s a little girl from another planet, Alex, I just wanted to make her feel as accepted as I could. And when your dad was still here it was so much easier. But then he- and I just couldn’t do it alone. So I put all the responsibility on you, and I’m sorry. I’m sorry for forcing you to be strong when I couldn’t, for making you grow up so fast-“

“For making me feel like I was never enough?” Alex asked, her voice breaking.

“Oh Alex, no,” Eliza reached out and took one of Alex’s hands into hers, squeezing tightly. “I never meant to make you feel like you’re not enough, and I’m  _ so sorry  _ for that too. I just, you’re my daughter and I want you to be better than me.”

“So that’s why you’re so hard on me? Cause you want me to be better than you?”

“But that doesn’t mean I don’t love you, Alex.”

“Sure feels like it sometimes.”

Eliza took a sharp breath, shaking her head. “I’m so sorry,” she said. “I promise I’ll try to be a better mom.”

Alex just looked at her mom for a while, trying to process everything she’d said. She felt as if her brain was going a mile a minute and not working at all, at the same time.

She didn’t expect  _ this _ .

When Eliza offered to give her a ride she expected her to talk to her, to maybe try to talk about the door incident, but she never expected her to apologize. But here they were, Eliza still squeezing Alex’s hands in her own, tears streaming down Eliza’s cheeks now, her eyes wide, and Alex’s throat burning from trying to fight her own tears.

And Eliza looked like she actually meant it. Like she was really sorry, and she was really going to try her best to change, and Alex felt a glimmer of hope in her chest, because maybe she could be enough for her mom now. Maybe  _ she’d been _ enough for her mom all this time…

So she let herself nod slowly, swallowing roughly. “Okay,” she said, her voice barely a whisper.

She couldn’t hold back the tears when Eliza pulled her into a hug, wrapping her arms around her tightly. They stayed like that for a moment, just hugging one another, Alex letting the familiar scent of her mom’s perfume calm her down.

They both wiped at their eyes when they pulled back. Eliza reached over and squeezed Alex’s hand in hers one more time.

“Wish Maggie a happy birthday from me,” Eliza said.

“I will.”

“And tell her I’d love it if she stopped by for lunch this weekend.”

A smile spilt Alex’s face as she nodded, hugging her mom one more time before pulling her hoodie over her head and hopping out of the car. She ran to the door as fast as she could, almost crashing into it.

She knocked, waiting only a couple of seconds before Maggie swung the door open and pulled her in by the hand.

“Hi,” she breathed out as she kicked the door shut behind herself and slipped the hoodie off of her head, smoothing back the strands that had gotten wet.

“Hey,” Maggie smiled, standing up on her tiptoes to place a soft kiss to Alex’s lips.

“Where’s Izzy?” Alex asked as she kicked her shoes off, knowing her girlfriend’s aunt would’ve greeted her if she were there.

“Had to go to work,” Maggie shrugged but Alex could see the sadness flash behind her eyes.

She knew how much Maggie wanted Izzy to be there with her when she got her mark.

“I’m sorry, Mags.” She wrapped her arms around Maggie, holding her tight as Maggie buried her face in her neck.  She could feel Maggie mumble something against her neck but couldn’t make out what she was saying so she pulled back a little, “What was that, babe?”

“I don’t mind,” Maggie repeated. “I have you.”

“Yeah, you do,” Alex smiled. She pulled her back into her embrace and kissed the top of her head, holding her tight, her voice barely a whisper when she breathed ‘ _ Forever.’ _ into Maggie’s hair.

~ ~ ~

They ended up cuddled in Maggie’s bed, watching Brooklyn 99 on Maggie’s laptop. But she wasn’t really paying much attention to the show, her anxiety rising with every minute. The closer they were to midnight the more she found herself stuck in her own head, going through all the things that could happen if it wasn’t her after all.

She noticed that Maggie got quieter too. Just an hour and a half ago she was laughing- that way that Alex just loved so much, her head thrown back and her eyes shining and her dimples in full force- as she fed Alex some of the ice cream she had brought, Alex faking disgust because like hell she was going to admit that she actually liked it.

But now they were watching her favorite show and she wasn’t laughing like she used to, and she wasn’t making her own jokes like she usually did, and when Alex glanced up on her face her eyes weren’t focused on the screen.

“Mags?”

Alex’s soft voice seemed to pull Maggie out of her thoughts. She looked down at Alex, carding her fingers through her hair. “Yeah?”

Alex bit her lip, contemplating if she should ask her what was on her mind, but she was pretty sure she knew and she didn’t want to hear it from Maggie, she didn’t want hear it because that would make her own fears more real and she didn’t want that, as selfish as that was.

“I know your birthday’s tomorrow but, uh, can I give you your present now?”

“You didn’t have to get me anything…”

“Do you know me?” Alex asked, arching an eyebrow as she got up from the bed.

Maggie chuckled and sat up, leaning against the headboard, while Alex walked over to her backpack. She pulled out the gift, clutching it in her hands tightly as she walked back to the bed. She sat opposite of Maggie and crossed her legs.

Drawing a deep breath she started, “So I know this is cheesy as hell,” she traced her fingers along the pattern of the wrapping paper, avoiding Maggie’s eyes. “But I wanted you to have it,” she said, looking up at her girlfriend, and handed it to her. “Happy birthday, Maggie.”

Maggie leaned over to press a kiss to Alex’s lips before taking the gift from Alex’s hand. “Wouldn’t expect anything but cheesy from you, softie,” she grinned as she pulled back.

Alex swatted at her knee lightly. “Hey!”

She watched as Maggie pulled the duct tape off, unwrapping the little box carefully, trying not to tear the wrapping paper and she would’ve made a jab about how Maggie was apparently one of  _ those  _ people if her heart wasn’t slamming like crazy in her chest.

When the paper was finally off, Maggie put it on her bedside table, and opened the lid of the box. She took the locket out with trembling fingers, tracing the stars that were engraved on the pendant.

“Alex,” she breathed out, looking up at her with wide, questioning eyes, because of course Maggie knew that it there was more to it.

“My dad gave it to me,” Alex said, a sad smile on her face, “before uh, before he left for that business trip that he never came back from.”

“Al, no, I can’t take this,” Maggie said, shaking her head, handing the necklace back to Alex.

Alex wrapped her hand around Maggie’s, pressing the locket into her palm. “I want you to have it,” she repeated. “I just… He said he’d always be with me. And when he died, I felt  _ so alone _ … So I always had it with me, it used to remind me of him. Made me feel stronger somehow, as stupid as that sounds… But with you I- oh my god this is gonna sound so corny- but I just feel whole again when I’m with you.”

“You really want me to have this?”

“Yeah,” she nodded. “He would’ve loved you…”

Her voice broke at the end of the sentence. She barely blinked back the few tears that had welled up in her eyes. And then Maggie’s arms were around her, hugging her tightly, and Alex let a couple of tears slide down her cheeks and onto Maggie’s shoulder.

“You gonna open it?” she asked when she pulled back, wiping her eyes.

She watched as Maggie opened it with careful fingers, her face splitting into a huge smile when she saw the picture of a little Alex and Jeremiah on the beach, Jeremiah holding a surfboard in one hand and Alex in the other.

“That was the first time he took me surfing,” Alex said. “I was like four.”

Alex couldn’t help the grin that made its way on her face when Maggie looked at the other side of the locket. “Ally,” she gasped.

“You have no idea how proud Kara was that she managed to sneak that picture,” she said.

It was a picture of the two of them, from the night Maggie met Eliza for the first time. They were sitting on the ground by the coffee table, Alex leaning against the couch and Maggie cuddled into her side, both of them looking way too happy for someone playing monopoly.

“I  _ know _ it’s cheesy,” Alex started when Maggie wasn’t saying anything for a bit too long. “But I just… It means a lot to me, and I love you so much and I guess I just wanted you to have a part of me. And I-“

“I love it, Alex,” said Maggie, finally looking up at her with tear-filled eyes.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Alex smiled so big her cheeks hurt when Maggie asked her to help her put it on. She couldn’t stop smiling even when Maggie leaned in to kiss her softly. And then Maggie pulled her down and tucked herself into Alex’s chest.

~ ~ ~

The silence seemed almost deafening to Alex as they lay in bed together, just holding each other, Maggie’s laptop lying closed on her bedside table now. And even though cuddling Maggie was one of Alex’s favorite things, and holding her girlfriend was quite comforting, Alex’s stomach was in knots and her heart was beating so strong she could hear the blood rushing in her ears.

She kept glancing at the clock every 2 minutes and 36 seconds, not knowing if she wished the time could go faster or slower. It was still an hour till midnight and she felt like her own nerves combined with the ones that Maggie was resonating were going to kill her soon.

She smiled softly when Maggie propped herself up on her elbow, brushing a stray strand of hair from Alex’s forehead with her other hand.

Maggie just stayed there, propped up on her elbow, looking down at Alex, so she reached up to tuck Maggie’s hair behind her ears. “You okay?” Alex asked.

“Are you?”                                                                          

“I love you.”

“I love you too,” Maggie said. “And I want you to know that no matter whose name I’ll get, it won’t change anything about that, okay? I love you, Al, so much.”

Alex nodded and pulled Maggie down for a kiss.

“I mean,” Alex started when they pulled apart, “we can feel what the other feels, so-“

“You know that that doesn’t have to mean anything…”

“I know. But you know it’s pretty rare.”

“Yeah, I do.”

“Good,” Alex said. “So let’s not think about that now.”

“Yeah, okay,” Maggie nodded. “I mean, I know it, I can  _ feel _ it, Alex. It’s you, it’s gotta be you.”

She nodded, tangling her fingers in Maggie’s hair and pulling her down. “It’s me,” she breathed against her lips before she kissed her.

Maggie was quick to deepen the kiss, slipping her tongue into Alex’s mouth as she cupped her jaw with her hand. Alex slipped her hands from Maggie’s hair and onto her shoulders, pulling her closer so Maggie shifted to lie on top of her.

The hand with which Maggie wasn’t supporting herself moved to the hem of Alex’s shirt, slipping under after a moment. She traced Alex’s skin with gentle fingers, and Alex could feel Maggie’s hand trembling slightly.

Alex let her hands travel under Maggie’s shirt as well, pulling her as close as she could, relishing in the warmth of Maggie’s skin under her palms. And as great as that was she needed to feel more of her, needed to be closer to her, Maggie’s sweatshirt and t-shirt suddenly felt like there was too much between them and she needed them off.

She pulled away from Maggie’s lips, tugging at her sweatshirt. “Can you take it off? I, uh, I need to feel you.”

Maggie nodded, sitting up on her heels, and took both of the articles off in one go. And Alex’s mouth went completely dry at the sight because holy shit Maggie wasn’t wearing a bra. She could see how nervous Maggie was, her eyes were wide and her hands twitched as if she was willing herself not to cover her body.

Alex sat up, her eyes locking onto Maggie’s as she interlaced their fingers. “You’re absolutely gorgeous,” she breathed.

And then Maggie’s hands were on her face and she was pulling her into another kiss, but this one slower and softer than the ones before, less desperate, and Alex kissed her back with the same softness, her hands coming up to cradle Maggie’s jaw.

“Can, uh, can yours come off too?” Maggie asked when she pulled back after a moment.

Alex nodded and lifted her hands up, waiting for Maggie to pull her shirt over her head for her. Maggie just chuckled, shaking her head, before she moved to take her shirt off. She threw it away and moved her hands to Alex’s ribcage, leaning in for another kiss.

Tangling her hands in Maggie’s hair, Alex pulled her closer. She gasped into Maggie’s mouth when she felt her girlfriend’s hand move up, brushing over her bra-clad chest.

“Take it off,” she breathed against Maggie’s mouth.

Maggie pulled back, her eyes wide as they scanned Alex’s face. “You sure?”

“Yes.”

Maggie dropped a small kiss to Alex’s shoulder, before moving her hands behind her to undo the clasp on Alex’s bra. “It really is different from this angle,” she huffed after a while of unsuccessful fumbling.

“Need some help, Sawyer?” Alex asked.

“No, I can,” she flashed Alex a big dimpled smile when she finally managed to unclasp it, “do it.”

Alex smiled at her girlfriend and kissed the top of Maggie’s head as Maggie kissed her shoulder again. She drew in a deep breath when Maggie slipped the straps off of her shoulders, making the bra drop into her lap.

She had to fight the urge to cover herself as Maggie’s eyes raked up her half naked form, but this was Maggie, her Maggie, and she trusted her, and loved her and knew Maggie would never judge her, so she let her look, keeping her hands at her sides.

“Alex, I, just, um, wow,” Maggie stuttered when she finally locked eyes with Alex.

“Yeah?” she asked, her voice laced with insecurity.

“I have never felt gayer than I do right now, Danvers,” said Maggie with a light smirk on her face. “Seriously though, you’re perfect, Al.”

Unable to speak in that moment, Alex just surged forward, capturing Maggie’s lips in another kiss. She could feel Maggie pushing her back lightly, so she lied down, pulling Maggie on top of her, barely repressing a sigh when Maggie’s naked chest pressed against her own.

She tangled one of her hands in Maggie’s hair and gripped onto her back with the other one, pulling her closer. Maggie let the hand that she wasn’t supporting herself with roam over Alex’s skin. She groaned when Maggie’s lips left hers and she tried to bring Maggie back but then Maggie’s mouth was on her jaw and kissing its way down her neck.

And then she was digging her nails into Maggie’s and biting her lower lip because Maggie’s mouth was suddenly placing a soft kiss to the top of her breast and her fingers were creeping higher.

“You good?” Maggie asked, looking up at Alex with wide eyes.

“Perfect,” Alex said, hoping Maggie didn’t hear how out of breath she was when they barely did anything.

But then Maggie’s mouth was back on her skin and Alex lost the ability to think, so she just let herself feel, let herself get lost in the feeling of Maggie’s warm mouth and gentle fingers on her skin, gasping when Maggie’s lips closed around her nipple.  

“Okay so,” Maggie suddenly lifted her head up and Alex had to gather all of her self-restraint not to drag Maggie’s mouth back to her breasts. “I have no idea what I’m doing it here so, um, does it, well, is it, I mean, uh… good?”

Alex smiled at the way Maggie stumbled over her words adorably, nodding her head. “Amazing,” she said, her heart skipping a beat at the grin that she got from Maggie.

And then Maggie’s attention was back on Alex’s chest, tracing every bit of skin she could find with soft lips and trembling fingers. When Maggie’s lips closed around her other nipple, her hips bucked up into the thigh that was slotted between her legs, a gasp falling from her lips.

That made Maggie look up at her again, eyes wide and even though the light in the room was dimmed she could see that her pupils were blown wide.

“I, uh, I’m… sorry,” she stuttered out, her brain too fuzzy to form a sentence.

“No, don’t be,” Maggie smiled gently, crawling higher so she could press a kiss to Alex’s cheek. “I mean… we can feel what the other feels. And we’ve been turned on together before but now it’s just… whoah.”

Maggie was right. They’d made out many times before this but this just felt different. She’d never been  _ this _ turned on. And the fact that she could feel Maggie’s arousal coursing through her body too didn’t make this any easier.

Maggie suddenly slipped off of Alex, lying down beside her with her arm thrown over her waist. Alex just turned to face her, giving her a puzzled look.

“Maybe we should take a break because I don’t think I’m gonna be able to stop if we keep this up,” she explained, placing a kiss to Alex’s shoulder.

“Then let’s not stop.”

The words were out of her mouth before she could really think of what she was saying. She swallowed thickly, watching Maggie’s face tentatively. Maggie’s tongue darted out to wet her lips before she clenched her jaw so tight Alex could see it even in the dark of the room.

“I mean, uh, only if you want to,” she added after a moment of just looking at one another.

Maggie brought her hand to her face, caressing her cheek and brushing a few strands of hair back. “I do,” she said. “I want  _ you _ .”

Alex drew in a shuddering breath and nodded slowly, before closing the gap between them and capturing Maggie’s lips in a soft kiss. They stayed like that for a while, lying on their sides, tracing each other’s skin and exchanging soft, slow kisses.

And then Alex found herself on her back again, with Maggie back in the same position that she had been before, and their kisses grew hungrier, Maggie biting Alex’s lower lip as Alex’s hands cupped Maggie’s ass, squeezing lightly.

When Alex’s hips bucked up into Maggie’s leg again, she pulled back from the kiss. “Shouldn’t we… I mean, uh, like, you know… pants?” she stuttered out, making Maggie giggle.

“Ever so articulate, Danvers,” she said, sitting back on her heels.

Alex sat up as well, feeling the blush spreading across her cheeks. “Stop it,” she swatted at Maggie’s leg lightly, trying to give her her best glare even though she knew it wasn’t working since it only made Maggie laugh. But the sight of a half-naked Maggie Sawyer laughing was pretty much her new favorite thing so she wasn’t complaining.

“So,” Maggie started after she’d stopped laughing. “Wanna get naked, Danvers?”

Alex’s breath hitched in her throat as she nodded frantically. Her heart felt as if it was going to pound out of her chest as she fumbled with the button of her jeans. She shimmied them past her hips and let Maggie help her take them all the way off. Then Maggie stood up from the bed and pushed her sweatpants over her hips, letting them pool around her feet, she stepped out of them and crawled back to Alex.

“You sure about this?” Alex asked before they removed their underwear.

“Yeah,” Maggie said, smiling softly. “You?”

“Me too.”

“Okay so… can I take this off?” Maggie asked, her fingers brushing over the hem of Alex’s underwear.

Her throat dry, Alex nodded, swallowing roughly a couple of times so she could get her voice to work again. “Only if yours can come off too.”

Maggie smiled and nodded, before leaning in to place a soft kiss to the corner of Alex’s mouth. Then her fingers were wrapped around the hem of Alex’s boyshorts and Alex’s heart was slamming like crazy- because what if Maggie wasn’t going to like what she looked like fully naked- but she willed herself to take a deep breath and relax as she lifted her hips so Maggie could pull them off.

Maggie didn’t stop after taking Alex’s underwear off, as if she knew how insecure Alex was, and took her own off right after throwing Alex’s to the side. But then she let her eyes rake over Alex’s now fully naked body, and as much as Alex appreciated the lack of light in the room, she wished she could see Maggie’s face better. But at the same time she couldn’t care less about what her girlfriend thought of her naked body because her girlfriend was naked too and somehow looked even more gorgeous than before.

“Absolutely perfect,” Maggie breathed out at the same time Alex said ‘ _ You’re gorgeous.’ _ , making them both chuckle.

Maggie covered Alex’s body with her own, both of them marveling at the feeling of the other’s naked body pressed against her own. She tangled her hands in Maggie’s hair, pulling her down into a soft kiss.

And it all just felt so familiar yet so new, with Maggie’s body over hers, Maggie’s hand cradling her head and the other tracing patterns over her ribcage with trembling fingers, with Maggie’s lips against her own and her breaths mixed with her own.

She bent one of her legs up, brushing against Maggie’s wet center, and she could hold back the moan that bubbled up from her throat.

“You’re so wet,” she gasped when she pulled away from the kiss.

“We’re still feeling the same stuff, right?” Maggie chuckled awkwardly.

“I, yeah, no, yeah,” Alex stuttered. “I just… It’s hot.”

Maggie bit her lip, studying Alex’s face for a moment. “Would it be okay if I, uh… Can I touch you?”

“Yes,” Alex said without hesitating.

Her heart slammed like crazy as she felt Maggie’s hand travel down her torso. She watched as Maggie studied her face intently the whole time, her eyes closing only for a moment when Maggie’s fingers slipped between her folds.

When she opened her eyes again, Maggie was looking down at her with amazement, arousal and love mixed in her eyes.

“I love you,” Maggie said, leaning in to kiss Alex softly.

“I love you too.”

“I might need a little guidance here,” Maggie said, her fingers still not moving. “Cause I know what feels good on myself but…”

“Yeah okay,” Alex nodded, gasping a little when Maggie’s fingers finally moved, circling around her entrance to gather arousal on her fingers. “Just- yeah, yeah there.”

She bit her lip hard when she felt Maggie’s fingers circle around her clit slowly.

“Good?” Maggie asked.

“Yeah just keep doing that,” Alex nodded, clutching onto Maggie’s back. “You can maybe go a little faster and add a bit more pressure.”

“Like this?”

“Yeah, fuck, yeah, that’s really good,” Alex said, letting her eyes slip closed as she lost herself in the feeling of Maggie’s fingers on her clit and then her mouth on her neck.

And as much as she wanted this to last forever, she felt herself getting to the edge faster than ever before, especially when Maggie ground her own center against Alex’s thigh, asking her if it was okay and her voice was raspy and breathy in a way that Alex had never heard before, and it took Alex all her self-control not to come just yet as she nodded her head yes and Maggie started grinding against her thigh.

It didn’t take long before she was left clawing at the edge, trying not to let go. Her thighs started trembling and she clutched onto Maggie tighter, bit her bottom lip harder.

“I got you, Al,” Maggie breathed in  _ that _ voice, looking down at Alex with nothing but love in her eyes. “You can let go.”

So she did. She came with a strangled cry, holding Maggie tight, clawing at her back, as the other girl worked her through her orgasm, before she crumpled against her with a muffled gasp against Alex’s neck a moment later.

“Wow,” Alex breathed, carding her fingers through Maggie’s hair.

“Yeah,” Maggie mumbled into Alex’s neck.

“Does it feel this good when it’s with someone who’s not your soulmate?” Alex wondered out loud.

Maggie propped herself up, looking down at Alex. “I don’t know about you, Danvers, but I really don’t care.”

She pressed a kiss to Alex’s shoulder before rolling off of her, and pulling the cover, that they had kicked to the end of the bed when they were watching Brooklyn 99, over them. She threw her arm over Alex’s middle, snuggling into her side.

Alex carded her fingers through Maggie’s hair as they just lied there, enjoying each other’s presence and the feeling of their naked bodies cuddled up together. She felt so content, the anxiety that she’d been feeling just an hour ago almost completely gone.

That was until she felt Maggie’s body go rigid.

She didn’t even have to glance over at the clock to know it was midnight.

“Do you want me to-“

“No, I can do it myself,” Maggie mumbled into her shoulder.

She felt the anxiety creep back into her veins. Time seemed to slow down as Maggie took a deep breath before sitting up, and reading the name.

“Oh no,” she breathed, and Alex’s stomach dropped.

She felt nauseous as she sat up as well, too scared to look at Maggie’s mark. “What is it?” she asked, her voice small.

Maggie stuck her arm out but Alex refused to look, her eyes searching in Maggie’s face. “I guess you’re stuck with me,” she said, her face splitting into the biggest smile Alex had ever seen.

She looked down at Maggie’s arm, her heart nearly stopping when she saw her own name. She brought her fingers to trace over it gently, tears stinging at her eyes.

This was real.

She was Maggie’s soulmate.

And Maggie was hers.

And god her soulmate was  _ such an idiot. _

But Maggie was her idiot.

_ And she was Maggie’s _ .

“You’re such an asshole,” she said, her voice all wobbly with tears, as she looked back up into Maggie’s eyes.

“Yeah, but I’m your asshole,” Maggie grinned.

“Yeah, you are,” she said and wiped her eyes, before leaning over to kiss her Maggie.

_ Forever. _

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my god i can't believe this is actually the last chapter!! like i actually finished this thing??!!?
> 
> anyways i wanna thank you guys for all the great feedback and for how amazing you've been. this was my first fc, plus it's in english which is not my first language so like.. :D 
> 
> as i told some of you in the comments of the last chapter, i'm open to writing more from this universe if you tell mwe what you'd wanna see so feel free to send me prompts (don't have to be only from this universe tho!!) on my [tumblr](http://peggycarterislife.tumblr.com/) or just leave them in the comments:)
> 
> as always kudos and comments are amazing! i LOVE hearing what y'all think so please, leave a comment or come talk to me on tumblr, [peggycarterislife](http://peggycarterislife.tumblr.com/)

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are great!:D 
> 
> Let me know what you think in the comments, if you have any suggestions or ideas please leave them in the comments as well:)


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